Principal 'paddling' first grader for damaging computer

[RedAngie]

It wasn't. In most parts of the US, corporal punishment or one sort or another was usual in schools up until the 1960s, and it hung on longer in religious schools. Wooden paddles were once standard Principal's office decor; they were usually kept hung on the outer wall just where kids could see them, as a visual deterrent. What a lot of people now don't realize is that many kids were given the choice of being paddled, and chose it deliberately. The way that it usually was presented was that you could take the "licks" immediately, then go back to class and nothing more would be said, and your parents would not be notified of what you had done. However, if you chose not to take the "licks", then your parents would be notified, and then THEY would be free to come up with whatever creative punishment they could think of. Most kids were way more scared of how angry their parents would be, vs. the known quantity of a specified number of licks from the paddle. Most common infractions rated 2-4 licks; in the districts where I attended there was a set list that specified the maximum allowed.



(BTW, when I was in grade school the standard rumor was that our principal had an electric paddle; a frame that you supposedly stood in that could be set at a certain force. The rowdier kids reveled in scaring the bejeezus out of the goodie-good kids with that one.

I remember the big wooden paddle hanging in the hall outside the principal’s office in my Catholic grammar school. As far as I know, kids weren’t given a choice; they got paddled AND their parents were informed and often received even worse punishment at home.

And, yes, older kids often terrorized younger ones with exaggerated tales of various nuns’ sadistic punishment methods, especially at the start of a new school year. “You’re in Sister Consortia’s class? Oh, man, she’s the worst. She makes you kneel on thumbtacks and then throws you against the wall. She nearly killed one kid last year.”

When I was in kindergarten and first grade, I thought that huge wooden paddle was the “Board of Education.”

 

[daisy2013]

Yes. Because now kids have nothing to feel consequences, no God in school or society and no structure or effective discipline. As long as you balance love with discipline then there is nothing wrong with a spank. At different ages different things work. But, the fear of dad coming home and giving you a good swat keeps any kid in line.

God doesn’t belong in school. She or he belongs in church. My kids respect both me and my husband and we have never hit them. Are they angels no but they know if they get out of line there are consequences but one of the consequences is never hitting them. Losing privileges, extra chores (they weed a good flower bed) written apologies etc. all work well. They know right from wrong and how to behave.

and if an adult who was not my husband ever tried to spank my child with or without a paddle they will wish they did not get out of bed that day. If it was my husband he also will wish he did not get out of bed that morning but that would be a different conversation.
Kids learn by natural consequences- throw a toy (that’s not meant to be thrown) you lose the toy. Hit another person- you sit on the step for your time out - which starts over if you get up early and you apologize after.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I remember the big wooden paddle hanging in the hall outside the principal’s office in my Catholic grammar school. As far as I know, kids weren’t given a choice; they got paddled AND their parents were informed and often received even worse punishment at home.

Good old Catholic Schools. Could you imagine hitting kids for not doing their homework, all the while you are raping children or covering up the rapes of your co-workers.

 

[C&Jx2]

My bio mom used to spank me, hard. I’d rather take that punishment than standing in the corner at my dad’s house. I also had much more respect for him.

 

[sam_gordon]

Most of the time when the topic is discussed in terms of a repeated method to gain the child's compliance not a random one off.

Except many posters are against the "random one off" also. I agree if you have repeatedly (I'm not talking once a year for multiple years, but multiple times a day ) spank a child, there's something else going on.

Yes there was plenty of discipline.We used time outs... loss of privileges... loss of toys/electronics etc..

I'm really glad those other forms of discipline worked for you. I hope you understand for some parents/kids, they did use those other forms of discipline and they. didn't. work.

so your punishment for your child hitting another child... is you hitting (spanking) them? Yup... no confusion here... me (child hit) = bad... parent hit = good

Or... "I get hit" = "It hurts" so "I hit others" = "It hurts them".

Spanking should never be a first step. But I have no problem with it being used a) when the "crime" calls for it and b) when other disciplinary actions are attempted and there's no behavior change.

 

[mjkacmom]

Yeah, I’m right there with you. She’s scared because she’s undocumented but she went to a lawyer anyway? Seems to me that this is going to be a big payday for her. She says she wanted people to know “what’s going on” at the school. People say it would have been her word against the principal’s if the paddling hadn’t actually happened. No. Just NO. I think she could have filmed herself arguing with the principal after the principal told her what was going to happen. Heck, she could have “allowed” one hit and then jumped in to stop it. She just sat there and filmed the whole thing! Sorry, but that’s just wrong.

Do you really think this is the first incident? Sure, I can sit here with my white privileg knowing that if my kid got paddled, all it would take would be me to tell the prini, superintendent and police and that teacher would be suspended immediately. Obviously those teachers were confident they could talk to the mom and child any way they wanted, because they had the power. Good for mom, maybe she already had a plan for the next time something like this happened. I doubt anyone would believe her without proof, and due to her citizenship status she had to be sure she had proof.

 

[mjkacmom]

You think it’s a good thing for kids to be afraid of a parent?

I do think it’s a good thing for a kid to be afraid of disappointing a parent, which is a very powerful consequence. My parents never hit me, but feeling like I didn’t deserve their respect? That I let them down? That there’s a punishment.

 

[MillauFr]

If the Mom had grabbed the paddle and swatted the Principal, it would be assault. I don't understand why the Principal swatting someone else's child is any different.

looks like there is a felony investigation now

 

[mjkacmom]

Everyone is taking this out of comtext. I never spanked my children all the time. It worked also with time outs. So everyone stop freaking about my opinion

No one is freaking out, they just think you’re wrong.

 

[Suger Mag]

I'm really glad those other forms of discipline worked for you. I hope you understand for some parents/kids, they did use those other forms of discipline and they. didn't. work.

I question how well or consistantly they actually applied those other forms of punishment. All too often I see kids 'on punishment' with phones, tv in their rooms etc.

I forget what it was about... but a long time ago....I took away every single toy once from my kid when she was 6 or 7. She had a bed, books, and her clothes and her special teddy in her room. That was it. She had to earn every single toy back through good behavior (chores, acts of kindness etc). It took her a week or two. She still talks about that lesson at age 19 as being very effective. She learned that respect is earned, and easily lost... and much like those toys, you can earn it back through hard work.

I believe and many others do also, that spanking is ineffective and damaging as a punishment.

Interesting read....

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3447048/

 

[sam_gordon]

I question how well or consistantly they actually applied those other forms of punishment. All too often I see kids 'on punishment' with phones, tv in their rooms etc.

I forget what it was about... but a long time ago....I took away every single toy once from my kid when she was 6 or 7. She had a bed, books, and her clothes and her special teddy in her room. That was it. She had to earn every single toy back through good behavior (chores, acts of kindness etc). It took her a week or two. She still talks about that lesson at age 19 as being very effective. She learned that respect is earned, and easily lost... and much like those toys, you can earn it back through hard work.

I believe and many others do also, that spanking is ineffective and damaging as a punishment.

Interesting read....

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3447048/

Again, good for you. I'm glad things worked out for you. I believe spanking CAN BE effective and DOESN'T HAVE TO BE damaging. And just because you see kids "on punishment" with phones, TVs, etc, doesn't mean that every parent who hands down punishment is as lax as those parents.

Can we not agree that every child (even in the same household) is different and will react differently to various punishments? That there is no "one size fits all"?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Except many posters are against the "random one off" also. I agree if you have repeatedly (I'm not talking once a year for multiple years, but multiple times a day ) spank a child, there's something else going on.

In the conversation with the other poster it was that the kid isn't scarred for life, it wasn't abuse because no marks were left and they were talking about a swat with pants up. I do still maintain that when the topic gets brought up most people are discussing the lasting effects on a child they are talking about the parent's pattern of punishment (or what is being referred to as discipline). You can still be against a random one off swat but not necessarily be discussing a lasting effect on someone's life although I am sure there are individuals out there where 1 spanking truly did have an effect. And you can also feel that you don't want to use that method ever not even once irrespective of thinking about if that 1 time would have a lasting effect.

FTR I was speaking generally not necessarily the exact views of every poster in this thread when I said "most of the time when the topic is discussed" because I was counting in real life discussions and psychological studies that have come about over time as my comments were about how things used to be viewed and how that viewpoint is/has been changing as time has gone on.

 

[daisy2013]

Do you really think this is the first incident? Sure, I can sit here with my white privileg knowing that if my kid got paddled, all it would take would be me to tell the prini, superintendent and police and that teacher would be suspended immediately. Obviously those teachers were confident they could talk to the mom and child any way they wanted, because they had the power. Good for mom, maybe she already had a plan for the next time something like this happened. I doubt anyone would believe her without proof, and due to her citizenship status she had to be sure she had proof.

Also she brought the child to the doctor. In most states doctors are mandatory reporters of child abuse. Also many states have institutional abuse divisions for abuse that occurs in places like schools, juvenile detention centers etc. if a doctor reported and incident to CPS or the police like this I would absolutely get my own attorney not only to handle to situation with the school but to protect my family from any claims the school may make against me in retaliation.
unfortunately schools districts sometimes only respond to publicity otherwise they circle the wagons and pretend whatever abuse happened just simple did not exist

 

[wenrob]

I do think it’s a good thing for a kid to be afraid of disappointing a parent, which is a very powerful consequence. My parents never hit me, but feeling like I didn’t deserve their respect? That I let them down? That there’s a punishment.

I think that’s different than being afraid of what’s going to happen “when your father gets home.”

I’m not going to weigh in on spanking or not. I will just say that my perspective on the subject has changed over the years.

Being afraid of a parent deters kids from coming to you when it’s important IMO. I was terrified of my stepmother and that kept me from going to my dad about anything because I was afraid of the consequences for “going above her head.” I don’t believe in making one parent or the other “the bad guy.” Parenting is a team effort and it’s important for kids to know you’re both on the same page. I learned very early on that you can’t parent all kids the same way. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for the others. I’ve raised three up (24, 15, 15) and so far *knock wood* they’ve turned out pretty damn good. They have a healthy respect for us but they have never been afraid.

 

[Suger Mag]

Again, good for you. I'm glad things worked out for you. I believe spanking CAN BE effective and DOESN'T HAVE TO BE damaging. And just because you see kids "on punishment" with phones, TVs, etc, doesn't mean that every parent who hands down punishment is as lax as those parents.

Can we not agree that every child (even in the same household) is different and will react differently to various punishments? That there is no "one size fits all"?

If you have a situation where the only punishment that would be appropiate or effective is ONLY physical or corperal punishment like spanking etc. I would love to hear of it?

I am not saying a one size fits all. But saying hitting a child is the only effective method of punishment kinda is...

There are many different ways to effectively punish a child without physically hitting them. And these methods should of course change with age. Leaving a store or 1 minute time out may be appropriate for a toddler... but not a 12 year old

It is not one size fits all... and yes there are many very different methods that a parent can and should use.... depending on the sitation or the child. Time outs are different than making them write an essay or repair/work to pay for a neighbors yard that was damaged.

 

[tzolkin]

Can we not agree that every child (even in the same household) is different and will react differently to various punishments? That there is no "one size fits all"?

That is absolutely true. My kids had radically different personalities and we had to learn new parenting techniques to be effective.

Ironically though the only time I have ever heard anyone describe a type of discipline as "one size fits all" is with spanking. You especially see this on social media lately-- that the only way to have "good" kids is to spank them, "a good slap would fix that behavior", any adults people don't agree with "would have turned out better if they had been spanked more as a kid", etc. My mother has even said things like this recently and she didn't even spank us when we were kids so it's bizarre.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Can we not agree that every child (even in the same household) is different and will react differently to various punishments? That there is no "one size fits all"?

Of course, but the research has caught up and spanking with most research out there just doesn't hold up as an effective punishment. It tends to have opposite effect and higher rates of negative effects long-term. People often think negative means one thing but it also applies to adjusting the very behavior that elicited the spank to begin with.

The differences between children will mean the effects will vary, it doesn't mean the punishment applied to this child but not that child means the punishment is the path to go with. As time goes on there's been a wider array of techniques discussed.

Spank or don't spank that's your choice though.

 

[starwart]

Florida is a backward thinking State. If Florida is not a part of the USA it certainly will be a 3rd world country.

 

[Nayan]

I find it really...I don't know which word to use, but we teach our kids that hitting is wrong yet there are those willing to whip out the belt/paddle/etc to hit their kids.

 

[PezRuth]

As a parent, I never ever want my kids to be afraid of me. Do I want them to respect me, yes of course. But hitting a child is not a path to respect.