POLL: Honey, you're fat.

[DisneyBamaFan]

I never used the word "loser." So you are saying that telling a man he needs to get a promotion is telling him that he's a loser. Do men place that much value on their earning potential?

And the man in this scenario never called his wife fat. Hmmm...

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm not really sure why it's socially acceptable. Perhaps it is because when there are abusive relationships, it tends to be the husband that is the abuser and the wife that is the victim, so when the reverse occurs (or even talking about the reverse occurs) it's considered funny?

I think this is probably it; it's considered acceptable because of the inherent power dichotomy (physically, anyway) between men and women. Most people who see a woman playfully raise a hand to a man aren't going to get all worked up about it because they don't really suspect she's beating him behind closed doors. And most people would be less sure of that if they saw a man playfully raise his hand to a woman.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I think you bring up a very valid point. I've noticed this as well.

I'm not really sure why it's socially acceptable. Perhaps it is because when there are abusive relationships, it tends to be the husband that is the abuser and the wife that is the victim, so when the reverse occurs (or even talking about the reverse occurs) it's considered funny? Or, perhaps it is considered funny because several years ago, when women were treated as the husband's property, there was no way anything like this could be said, so it's a bit of "payback" now?

I'm not really sure what the reason is. I don't agree with double standards of any kind though. To me this qualifies as a double standard.

In most of my friends' abusive relationships, it is the wife who is the abuser. That is to say, they are verbally abusive. I wonder if they are married to Dis members.

 

[jenm2878]

I tend to think that guys really don't realize that they will hurt our feelings by saying certain things.

For example, right now I'm pregnant and my husband and I both have (different) daily updates/tips on our phone regarding the baby & pregnancy. At least twice so far his 'tip' was along the lines of 'Don't call your wife fat. She's aware that she's gaining weight and is probably not thrilled about it herself. There's no need to point it out.' Seems silly that this would have to be pointed out, but I wonder how many fights that tip prevented?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I tend to think that guys really don't realize that they will hurt our feelings by saying certain things.

For example, right now I'm pregnant and my husband and I both have (different) daily updates/tips on our phone regarding the baby & pregnancy. At least twice so far his 'tip' was along the lines of 'Don't call your wife fat. She's aware that she's gaining weight and is probably not thrilled about it herself. There's no need to point it out.' Seems silly that this would have to be pointed out, but I wonder how many fights that tip prevented?

Yep - it is a reality that women refuse to accept.