4's, isn't it amazing how you see the true colors of people at a time like this? For my older son's Bar Mitzvah, my mother used the excuse that she hadn't had enough notice....she'd had 2 years!

I can understand not understand the importance of it for Alyssa's and not coming, but she should have gotten it for Ben's. She could have at least made up a better excuse. My sisters were livid (I laughed over that one--it was so ridiculous). So for the past 2 1/2 years since we've known Zach's date, we've all been reminding her.

Who knows if she'll actually come, but it won't be for that reason. She is old and it is a long, hard flight, so I do cut slack.
I've learned (and it's a real hard thing to learn) to be grateful for the people who do come to an important affair and to let go of the people who don't attend. My DH gets worked up over who doesn't come, but it's not worth it. Then it's taking away from who is actually there. And to think that someone like my nephew, who I haven't seen in 7 years and who is a poor grad student and will be sleeping on an air mattress who knows where in my house and his wife who I've never met, wants to come, that just thrills me! It is like the Hokey Pokey and this is what it's all about!
However, I would be a little irked if I were you about that double standard. Now you know how it works, huh?