PMS in a Handbasket--Don't be afraid, just bring us food... Part 2a

[punkin]

My God. Mom Cliques. I hate them. Somehow with DD13 I never encountered them, but with DD7 the started way back in pre-K. Can you tell I wasn't in any cliques?

The mothers would discuss which of their daughters was the most popular. Hello, they are 4 yo. You should be discouraging that sort of behaviour, not promoting it.

 

[Shugardrawers]

It will take me several hours to drive there. You have time to clean the bathroom.

That's good because it would take me several hours to clean it

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Today I went to a small furniture store (Wright's Furniture in Rockville, if you've ever been there, punkin) and had quite an experience. I was looking through books to see if I could find something that I like for Aly's bedroom/guestroom. An older lady sat down at the same table and eventually we started chatting. We started out talking about grown children moving back home (I told her about getting the bed for my college DD's room to be used as a guest room, etc) and eventually she told me about her DH, who she is taking care of who has Parkinson's Disease. Before long 2 of the staff came over and were talking with us. What an eye opening discussion. This lady is such a brave, wonderful lady with such a great attitude. She didn't seem to feel pity for herself even though she sure could have and seem actually honored to be able to care for her husband. It really made me wonder why, when faced with such tough circumstances, some people can handle them with such grace and others seem to fold. I know that she has the support of her grown children who seem to live in the area and help during the weekdays, but still a lot of the care is on her. I could have stayed all afternoon chatting with her.

 

[L107ANGEL]

My God. Mom Cliques. I hate them. Somehow with DD13 I never encountered them, but with DD7 the started way back in pre-K. Can you tell I wasn't in any cliques?

The mothers would discuss which of their daughters was the most popular. Hello, they are 4 yo. You should be discouraging that sort of behaviour, not promoting it.

BINGO!!!!! Shug, what was that about food and drink

 

[redshoes]

Today I went to a small furniture store (Wright's Furniture in Rockville, if you've ever been there, punkin) and had quite an experience. I was looking through books to see if I could find something that I like for Aly's bedroom/guestroom. An older lady sat down at the same table and eventually we started chatting. We started out talking about grown children moving back home (I told her about getting the bed for my college DD's room to be used as a guest room, etc) and eventually she told me about her DH, who she is taking care of who has Parkinson's Disease. Before long 2 of the staff came over and were talking with us. What an eye opening discussion. This lady is such a brave, wonderful lady with such a great attitude. She didn't seem to feel pity for herself even though she sure could have and seem actually honored to be able to care for her husband. It really made me wonder why, when faced with such tough circumstances, some people can handle them with such grace and others seem to fold. I know that she has the support of her grown children who seem to live in the area and help during the weekdays, but still a lot of the care is on her. I could have stayed all afternoon chatting with her.

I so want to be one of those people. The ones that are brave and can handle any situation- but that is so not me. Someone throws a wrench in my plans and I move on, but alot of the time that entails some kicking and screaming on my part.
I'm glad that you took the time to chat with that sweet lady. It's a wonderful thing when we encounter someone while doing a mundane task that changes our outlook on things, even if its only for a short period of time.

 

[snowwhitesmom]

Snowwhitesmom, thanks for the toast and the wine charm. That was just too cool.

You are very welcome! I wanted to really be there in spirit!

 

[redshoes]

My God. Mom Cliques. I hate them. Somehow with DD13 I never encountered them, but with DD7 the started way back in pre-K. Can you tell I wasn't in any cliques?

The mothers would discuss which of their daughters was the most popular. Hello, they are 4 yo. You should be discouraging that sort of behaviour, not promoting it.

I'm just not one of those Moms. I have friends from alot of different walks of life. Utah is very sheltered on alot of things, so I try hard to expose my family to alot of different cultures and people of different reglions and backgrounds than ourselves. I think that you really don't become comfortable with who you are as a person until you have been exposed to alot of different ways to live ones life. All of my friends let me see a different way of doing things, sometimes their way is an improvements and other times its not but they still help me to change my mindset. I always thought that the more the merrier, but alas that lessons has been lost on some. Anyways, I really don't have time to be ordered around by some queen bee preschool Mom; I'm too busy being ordered around by my boys.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I so want to be one of those people. The ones that are brave and can handle any situation- but that is so not me. Someone throws a wrench in my plans and I move on, but alot of the time that entails some kicking and screaming on my part.
I'm glad that you took the time to chat with that sweet lady. It's a wonderful thing when we encounter someone while doing a mundane task that changes our outlook on things, even if its only for a short period of time.

I don't think that any of us know what we would do in her situation. She said that so many people have told her how great she is taking care of him, but her view is how could she not--he is her husband. I think that she said he was a Navy Seal (does that make sense? I think that's what she said) and they traveled around the world with his job, so she feels that they got to see a lot, so she doesn't feel cheated. She was probably at least in her late 70's, if not 80yo. Said that they had their dream home built 16 years ago and 15 years ago he was diagnosed with the Parkinsons. She was a nurse by training and said that at least she had the training to take care of him, even though taking care of a loved one is very different than doing it as a job.

 

[punkin]

Parkinson's is tough. I'm sure that nice lady has done a lot of kicking and screaming. That's normal. You kick and you scream and then you do what has to get done. I'm glad she has grown children helping her.

My DH's grandparents are in a retirement community on the other side of the county, and while there is nothing seriously wrong with them healthwise, they are OLD. Since I'm the only one around with no job (currently) I wind up driving them around to the supermarket and doctors' appointments and such. I get overwhelmed sometimes with them and my own family and I kick and scream (never in front of them or my children), but I do it anyway because there is no one else.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

redshoes - I think the mom cliques begin while the children are still in utero, to be honest. Haven't you ever heard the clucking at baby showers? "We already have Johnny on the wait list for so and so preschool because I've heard it's the best and it's hard to get into, and oh (talking to another pregnant mom) our kids will be in the same grade! We'll have to try and get the same teacher...!" I've seriously heard this type of drivel at baby showers, and it drives me bonkers. I hate mom cliques - one of the many reasons I've never joined a moms group! I have enough drama in my life!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Yes, I came home with my shoes.

My toe hurt pretty badly when I did it. I was drunk, but not drunk drunk. It hurts a lot now still.

Let's define drunk, and drunk-drunk.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

red, many people believe that if they expose their kids to anyone different that they are risking that their kids will reject their lifestyle/religion, etc. I have a BIL who will not even step foot in our house because we are not religious enough for him. Mind you, he is a kook, even amoung orthodox Jews, but the fanatical, cult-like people of any religion worry me. We are like you and want to expose our kids to differnt people and different beliefs. My DD was in shock when she had one of her college visits and she didn't spot any minorities. It was culture shock for her.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Let's define drunk, and drunk-drunk.

I got this one down!!! Drunk is being way too happy, drunk-drunk is telling people at a party that you will "fine that under I don't give a crap". Yep, I did it!

 

[punkin]

redshoes - I think the mom cliques begin while the children are still in utero, to be honest. Haven't you ever heard the clucking at baby showers? "We already have Johnny on the wait list for so and so preschool because I've heard it's the best and it's hard to get into, and oh (talking to another pregnant mom) our kids will be in the same grade! We'll have to try and get the same teacher...!" I've seriously heard this type of drivel at baby showers, and it drives me bonkers. I hate mom cliques - one of the many reasons I've never joined a moms group! I have enough drama in my life!

DH had a friend when DD13 was 3 who volunteered to write her a reccomendation letter to kindergarten for his alma mater, Horace Mann (very exclusive school in NY). I told him that I didn't want my DD in any school that would take a recomendation letter for pre-school.

 

[tevagirl]

Evening People.

Tig, I was reading about your meeting with the lady who is taking care of her sick husband. She reminds me of my niece. Her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about eight months after they got married. For months after his diagnosis he went through chemo and radiation. She would drive him up to Philadelphia (about an hour and half each way) every day for his treatments, Monday through Friday, and she was pregnant with their first child.

They spent their first anniversary in a hospital room after he had whipple surgery done.

He was in the delivery room with her when the baby was born, hooked up to a chemotherapy pump. She never complained, never 'why me'?, she just did what had to be done.

He was doing better and in July 2004 they took a trip to Disney World. She came home with a little "Disney Souveneir." Then almost as soon as they got back, he started to get sick again. So once again she's taking him back and forth to Philly, pregnant, and with a little baby at home. I never heard her complain or whine.

They spent their second anniversay in the hospital (October 2004) and he died October 31. She had a 10 month old baby and was five months pregnant.

She handled herself with such grace, she amazed all of us. When we would all be crying, she'd be picking us up.

Go to daniel-tannenbaum.memory-of.com and you can see pictures of their little boys and read about Dan.

 

[disneymom3]

So, let me tell you all about something that happened around here earlier today. I had sent DH an email--his work can be crazy so we touch base a couple of times a day via email. In it I said I felt kind of nautious and a bit foggy but I was not as dead tired as I have been the last several weeks. (He had asked how the new meds seemed to be working.) Several, and I mean several, hours later, I get an email back from him. It says, and I quote "I am glad you are feeling better overall." Now tell me, how does nautious and foggy translate to better overall?? He is trying to be sweet but I know he is totally overwhelmed at work this week and I am thinking he didn't actually READ the email from me!

What a goof! I knew you all would understand.

 

[snowwhitesmom]

teva, I just looked at Dan's website - how touching!

 

[tevagirl]

teva, I just looked at Dan's website - how touching!

It really is. He was such a nice guy. Hard working, didn't smoke or do drugs. He treated Jess like she was a princess.

On page two of the photo album there is a picture titled 'Dan, AJ, and Uncle Joe' AJ is my dsil and Joe is my dh. The picture of 'Dan and Jill on NYE' is my dd (can't see her very well) and "Dan 'practicing' with Andrew" Andrew is my dgs.

 

[FroggyinArk]

that is cool teva, and dw knows the feeling too, she hauledme around for over ayear through 19 facial surgeries before i could drive and function on my own. she was at work one day and had afit i didnt call her home to help me takee a bath.

 

[snowwhitesmom]

Froggggggggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!