Good Morning, my dear friends.
So I got up over an hour late this morning. I realized what time it was and thought, "I'm so surprised DS didn't wake me up before he left for school."

He was still sleeping peacefully. It took me 15 minutes to get him out of the car at school.
Him: "I don't feel good. Can't you take me home?"
Me: "NO."
Him: "Aww, come on, Mom. I feel horrible."
Me: "What's wrong with you?"
Him: "I told you, I don't feel good."
Me:

*tapping nails on the steering wheel* "EXACTLY what is wrong?"
Him: "My head hurts and my stomach hurts. I might barf."
Me:

"Valid reasons for staying home: fever, vomiting, bleeding from mucuous membranes. When you throw up on your desk, call me and I'll come get you."
He hates me, and I don't give a rat's ***.