Plz help.....teenaged son's girlfriend is pregnant UPDATE ON PG 13

[crz4mm2]

I knew what you meant...it was just a side comment.

Obviously, the OP is all about helping her son raise her grandchild. I think that's great, because it's what THEY choose to do. Hopefully it all works out.

obviously. And I am mighty happy for them! Thanks for understanding.

LMAO...I just tried to take some heat off you, then saw that ...and as you can see...I immediately responded to that.

Its amazing the turns these types of threads can take... its obviously touchy for alot of people though!!!

Amazing is right. To each their own!

It is. It's sad nobody can have their own opinion or say something without being jumped all over.

I do wish the OP best of luck with this though!

I wish the OP best of luck too!! No doubt in that matter!

 

[zumbergc]

Good luck OP, your up for a rough patch..
Sounds like your trying to keep a level head.

I'm one of those people who think it might be a good idea to look at adoption. Since social services is involved, they should be able to give you names of local adoption agencies. We are currently looking into adoption. What i've been learning is each agency has different philosophies. Some are pro open, some more closed, some offer a lot of counceling, and get the mom going with some pre-natal care. Just going to find out information about adoption may or may not help you in your situation.

Plus, depending on your financial status, you might want to find out what social services might have to off to help you out. Even if it is only a list of child care facilities you get from them, or if the mother qualifies for free formula, getting her to fill out the propr forms, etc.

 

[Inigo]

Does your son have any doubt whether or not the baby is his? I've been with my boyfriend since I was 17, and if I became pregnant and he wanted to test whether or not the baby was his, I would have been furious and the relationship would have been majorly strained. If he trusts her, it shouldn't be necessary. But that's just my opinion.

I think any guy would be an idiot NOT to have the DNA testing done on a child not born into a marriage. After all, there is proof the mother is the biological mother. The child is seen exiting her body. There is absolutely no proof the guy is the father without the DNA testing.

In a marriage, even if the husband is not the biological father, he is the legal father of any child born into the marriage. He can file to not be the legal father, but it has to be done within a certain period after the child's birth, and the DNA has to prove him to not be the father.

 

[claudia]

No, I meant its sad for some to *assume* that she is/was cheating. Not every young couple or unmarried couple is out sleeping around. If they both say the baby is his, why assume it's not?

Because we are talking about 15 and 17 year old children. If you read on the first page, this boys mother has even stated that she will get a paternity test done. It really doesn't matter what the kids say, the reality is that it is in the OP's sons best interest to be certain that the child is his. I don't think it is ever "sad" to look at all options, especially when involving kids.

Here is an interesting story, I'm sure you are probably aware of it, where a 15 year old girl insisted she knew who got her pregnant: http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25250230-663,00.html

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Because we are talking about 15 and 17 year old children. If you read on the first page, this boys mother has even stated that she will get a paternity test done. It really doesn't matter what the kids say, the reality is that it is in the OP's sons best interest to be certain that the child is his. I don't think it is ever "sad" to look at all options, especially when involving kids.

Absolutely paternity is paramount. It will give the 15yo father his legal claim to the child.

In addition, her own father could be the father of her baby. You just don't know. Sick to think of that, however in this day and age, stranger things have happened.

 

[Shadow Dancer]

It is. It's sad nobody can have their own opinion or say something without being jumped all over.

I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and say, - BUT - when a poster keeps coming back and insisting that their thoughts are the only correct ones, that's when I start the jumping process.

 

[JessicaR]

Absolutely paternity is paramount. It will give the 15yo father his legal claim to the child.

In addition, her own father could be the father of her baby. You just don't know. Sick to think of that, however in this day and age, stranger things have happened.

In the OP it said it is her step-father. Not implying anything by that just stating the facts. I agree that paternity testing is a must.

 

[Keli]

Don't have time to read all the replies but I just wanted to say hang in there. Eventually this will all work out and there will be a new precious baby in this world.
Best wishes for all involved, my heart goes out to you.

 

[ReneeA]

((((MizTink)))))

Hugs, honey...everything will be okay.

Young parents don't have to be a statistic. My parents had me at 16 & 18...they got married 6 months before I was born. My mom had 3 kids before she turned 20, and my grandparents on both sides were very young - in their mid 30's.

They did fine - I don't think the majority of their marriage was terribly happy (they were married for 23 years before getting divorced), but they had great jobs, a nice home on lots of land, raised 3 good kids that all made very good for themselves, and were never on any sort of aid.

Hang in there and take good care of your family.

 

[Isi]

Best of luck to your family..

 

[disney1990]

Hang in there. I have a daughter that got pregnant and she is now happily married (11 years) with 2 beautiful daughters.

 

[ckay87]

Spoken like a true non-parent.

Amen!!

Hey did OP ever come back and update us on her meeting with the other parents? Was that yesterday?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion and say, - BUT - when a poster keeps coming back and insisting that their thoughts are the only correct ones, that's when I start the jumping process.

Pot, meet kettle.

 

[Mermaid02]

I agree a paternity test is a must- for everyone's sake. This will completely change your sons life forever and if the baby isn't his.... what a shame that would be. Even if everyone is quite sure (even 100%) that he is the father, this will protect his rights in the future.

 

[Chicago526]

Amen!!

Hey did OP ever come back and update us on her meeting with the other parents? Was that yesterday?

Ditto, I'm wondering how the meeting went?

 

[sbell111]

I personally think that statutory rape laws are ridiculous. I can see prosecuting a 50 year old who slept with a 14 year but these are just kids only a few years apart. It cheapens the term sexual predator when that label is slapped on a teenager in cases like these IMO.

To the OP, I admire your attitude. I hope that this can be resolved to everyone's satisfaction.

The statutory rape laws in most states allow for sex between individuals close in age.

 

[sbell111]

I think any guy would be an idiot NOT to have the DNA testing done on a child not born into a marriage. After all, there is proof the mother is the biological mother. The child is seen exiting her body. There is absolutely no proof the guy is the father without the DNA testing. ...

Heck, there's no 'proof' even if they are married. Do you propose that all men require DNA testing if their significant other gets herself pregnant?

 

[sbell111]

Absolutely paternity is paramount. It will give the 15yo father his legal claim to the child. ...

His name on the birth certificate would do that, also.

 

[mlynn]

OP to you. It is a hard time in your life right now.

I want to share a story of why a DNA test should be done.
My husbands best friend met a girl they went on ONE date and they didn't see each other again for 2 years. He found out she hada boyfriend and didn't want to deal with any of that.

Well 2 years later he meets up with her a again. She has a 2 year old daughter. Boyfriend was paying for the little girl for 2 years.They break up and she comes to find Hubby's friend. She brings her daughter.I looked at this little girl and knew just from looking at her that she was my hubby's friends.She was his Mini me. I said something to him and he asked her.She said no way not your daughter.Well exboyfriend asks for a DNA test turns out he wasn't the father.So hubby's friends goes to get a DNA test and it is his.
they are married now and a son also.

 

[claudia]

Heck, there's no 'proof' even if they are married. Do you propose that all men require DNA testing if their significant other gets herself pregnant?

If a man has any doubt that he may/or may not be the father it should be his choice to get a paternity test done.