Planning with first timer friends--FRUSTRATED!

[shm_helene]

I feel your pain...my MIL doesn't want to buy tickets until we get there.

 

[quandrea]

I feel your pain...my MIL doesn't want to buy tickets until we get there.

Why?!!

 

[rwdavis2]

Just make the plan without here input and then tell her what they are. Actually, I would not stress at all about ADRs. You will still be able to get most of the places you want after the 180 day window opens. If not, just remember it's only food and won't make or break the trip.

 

[pmurph]

I would tell her that you will go ahead and make the arrangements and reservations since you are approaching the 180 day mark. And then when she can take her time and review it, you both can make changes accordingly. No worries. It's four nights for goodness sakes - you are not planning out the rest of her life
: )

 

[quandrea]

I would tell her that you will go ahead and make the arrangements and reservations since you are approaching the 180 day mark. And then when she can take her time and review it, you both can make changes accordingly. No worries. It's four nights for goodness sakes - you are not planning out the rest of her life
: )

Totally agree. This is how it's been with trips with other friends. Make the plans--all good. Issue with this trip is her high anxiety over every detail, but an unwillingness on her part to provide input. I have no doubt that any plan I make will be heavily scrutinised and perhaps vetoed.

 

[mickman1962]

This is exactly what I did with our trip in 10 days with 2 other groups. If they don't like it too bad, they had ample opportunity to provide input

If she can't set aside an hour to join in the planning, then I would go ahead and just plan everything the way I wanted. If it's her first time, will she really have a big preference over what parks to do when or even really know what rides are a priority?

 

[blemon]

As a total planner and control freak, I feel your pain. I think you've gotten great advice to just make tons of ADRs because you can always cancel. You still have plenty of time for FP+.

You could look at crowd calendars for the dates and pick parks based on lower crowds. It would be hard to argue with that.
But I always like to start a trip with MK because it's got that wow factor.

Good luck! I hope you guys can stay friends through this.

 

[quandrea]

As a total planner and control freak, I feel your pain. I think you've gotten great advice to just make tons of ADRs because you can always cancel. You still have plenty of time for FP+.

You could look at crowd calendars for the dates and pick parks based on lower crowds. It would be hard to argue with that.
But I always like to start a trip with MK because it's got that wow factor.

Good luck! I hope you guys can stay friends through this.

Me too. Trying to stay loose. That's why seeking advice here helps.

 

[ShellieMimi]

Not all friends are friends that you should travel with. She absolutely sounds like one of those.

At some point, you just have to say, "I made these plans for my family & you are welcome to join us... or not." Do not let her control what you do.

 

[quandrea]

Not all friends are friends that you should travel with. She absolutely sounds like one of those.

At some point, you just have to say, "I made these plans for my family & you are welcome to join us... or not." Do not let her control what you do.

Maybe so. I am doing it for our girls. They are best friends. My friend's daughter has wanted this trip for four years.

 

[KittyKitty]

Since they are 1st timers, they don't really know WDW. I would set up a loose schedule of what to do what days. I would then book BOG for your MK day when the 180 opens up.And other places you want that are hard to get. You have some information with no buffets. Only restaurant I can think is the Castle with characters. If you want a buffet I would reserve one you like.

 

[Accident]

Anxiety can really cripple someone so this is not surprising to me. I deal with it with my daughter.. What I have to do is just plan it without her and hope there isn't anything big she suddenly brings up. It wouldn't be brought up until partway through the trip itself.

This situation sound similar. At this point, you tried to loop her in early. Now just leave her be and plan out your vacation. After you lock down an itinerary you can share, including fastpasses then bring it up again by handing her what the trip will be and any changes you'll do your best to accommodate.

also with my daughter, she can react funny to different crowd situations. Be ready to pivot on this trip like you've never before and if you happen to have park hoppers, I would look at 1/2 day touring schedule (2 different parks with resort break in the middle). If that changes your budget to add on park hoppers then skip it and your friend had the chance to chime in and just plan what you would do if she wasn't coming or suddenly is too anxious to fly and not make it.

Hopefully this is not your situation as it'll be an interesting trip if it is but the above is what has worked for me and my daughter with an anxiety situation. It's kind of why I barely plan anything because it's all going to change minute to minute once there.

 

[randumb0]

Maybe she's feeling overwhelmed. Keep in mind planning ADR's 6 months ahead would soundis ridiculous to most people. Unfortunately this is what Disney has created

 

[MamaBelle4]

Since they are 1st timers, they don't really know WDW. I would set up an loose schedule of what to do what days. I would then book BOG for your MK day when the 180 opens up.And other places you want that are hard to get. You have some information with no buffets. Only restaurant I can think is the Castle with characters. If you want a buffet I would reserve one you like.

Akershus dinner too. The "appetizer" course is a buffet, but the meal itself isn't.

 

[DISbot]

She isn't. Tried that. She keeps talking about submitting a list to me with what they want to do, comparing said list with us, approving the plans. But then she won't produce this list list or meet to discuss this list because her daughter is too stressed and busy (its grade seven for goodness sake)! I was a grade seven teacher--I know how it is!

Have you tried writing up your list or rough plan and handing it to her as a starting point? Rather than asking her to pull something out of thin air (which can be overwhelming), you could say, "These are what we will want to see/do, these are the places we like to eat, and these are the days we were thinking to do everything. Also, here are some highlights which my family isn't really into, but might be something you all really want to do - if so, please let me know (ex. fireworks, MK open show)". Something like this might remove some of the stress and anxiety, allow you to pencil in plans, and possibly help launch her into at least giving some feedback or planning.

 

[quandrea]

Have you tried writing up your list or rough plan and handing it to her as a starting point? Rather than asking her to pull something out of thin air (which can be overwhelming), you could say, "These are what we will want to see/do, these are the places we like to eat, and these are the days we were thinking to do everything. Also, here are some highlights which my family isn't really into, but might be something you all really want to do - if so, please let me know (ex. fireworks, MK open show)". Something like this might remove some of the stress and anxiety, allow you to pencil in plans, and possibly help launch her into at least giving some feedback or planning.

I'm working on this. I figured that I will make what is essentially my family's plan. Hopefully most of it will suit her and help her visualise what shape the trip will take. Worth a try.

 

[Mambo Junkie]

What I would do is work out a mock itinerary with what you want to do with your family, including ADRs. With the ADR you could put a little memo such as buffet -characters from Disney Jr send it to her and get her to write down what she wants and doesn't want

 

[KittyKitty]

Akershus dinner too. The "appetizer" course is a buffet, but the meal itself isn't.

Thank you. I learn somethin' new every day!

 

[DaniMoon]

Good luck. We are traveling in June. My brother's family will be there, as well. We are together, but separate. I think it would have ended badly if we tried to do everything together. We are at separate resorts, we overlap, but will be there four days before they arrive. We both are staying onsite and they have yet to schedule their FPs. They texted me earlier this week to send them our FP schedule.

You can only offer so much info/help.

Are you there during Free Dining? That always makes it that much harder to get ADRs. I agree with previous posters, schedule what you want for the entire party. Don't let her stress, stress you! (easier said than done).

 

[mindeola]

I would tell her you are making a loose plan because it needs to be done now. When she is less busy you can sit down and tweak things.