Petals & Pixie Dust Planning Journal 11/30/2009/2010

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

I'm so sorry that things have turned this way for you. I hope you guys do figure out a way to make everything happen and you to still have your dream wedding. Good luck with your job.

Thank you.
The past few days have been hard. It will work out. I'm not giving up yet.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

...I feel like a kid with a lemonade stand trying to get money for candy.

This AM was met with drama from my mother -which was quickly squashed. Told her I was getting it from one family and don't need it from her too. (What ever happened to having a supportive mother-sometimes I wonder...) I think she is still on the wagon with "if you have it here you'll get more gifts." She finally shut the heck up and said, "Where ever you are getting married that is where your father and I will be." -Thank you. Cripes woman was that so difficult?!?!

I digress...

Raising money. I'm looking around this apartment...one we have clearly grown out of with all the "stuff" we have, don't use, gifts that DF's mother insists on buying us for the holidays-no matter how strong our pleas are to NOT give us junk we don't need. Hmmm... I'm having a garage sale Ebay style! Over the next few days I'm gonna clean house. Vera Bradley bags-with tags, Brighton jewelry I never wear, home interiors stuff I bought just cause I had to buy something...and anything else that hasn't been used GONE! All to the highest bidder.

Next, Etsy. I've signed up for an account, and if you remember earlier on in this PJ I even said I was going to start selling...That got thrown to the waste side...why I'm not certain. BUT I have enough supplies to make jewelry and cards for awhile-supplies that I've had for years and still use, but could move them out more quickly. This will be the way to do it! I'm gonna start small and then go from there.

Third, God bless a friend of mine-she is so sweet. She has been keeping up with all of the drama and doing her best to keep me...sane. She is even trying to come up with ways for me to deal with all of this with some ideas. She knows how important this is to me. I appreciate that more than she knows! I'm very lucky to have a friend like her! And even more lucky that I re-found her on facebook!

Honestly, if people save for the next 50 weeks...at $5 a day...the cost of what a latte? Hamburger and fries and McDonalds? They would have no problem having more than enough money for the trip-airfare, room and spending money. I say "its not that hard" and people say "It's just too much." Fine what ever...time to prove them all wrong...BRING IT ON!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

And then I saw this article...Where do I sign up???
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/107476/make-money-by-simply-driving-your-car.html

 

[tiggerrifficheidi]

At one point he said "What is more important; Marrying me or the wedding."

I'm probably just stirring the pot or adding fuel to the fire here, but you could ask him the same question! If his answer is "marrying you" as it should be, then you could tell him you'll be at WDW on such-and-such a day in a white dress...

 

[MainStMandy]

Aww hon I am so sorry things aren't going well. I totally understand where you are coming from. I was married once before and Disney was always my dream wedding. My in-laws said NO! They were big Disney buffs but also Catholics and said if we got married there, they wouldn't attend and we wouldn't REALLY be married Hindsight is 20/20 and I am glad we didn't because now I am having me dream wedding with my true soulmate.

Anway, the point of my story is you are not being selfish for wanting your dream wedding. I don't think you are asking for anything extreme and I think it's not the norm to have to pay for your guests to fly there...if you were millionaires then fine...but otherwise no.

We are all here for you...feel free to vent whenever you need it!!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

I'm probably just stirring the pot or adding fuel to the fire here, but you could ask him the same question! If his answer is "marrying you" as it should be, then you could tell him you'll be at WDW on such-and-such a day in a white dress...

I'm taking that card and sticking it away...I'm using that one!

Anway, the point of my story is you are not being selfish for wanting your dream wedding. I don't think you are asking for anything extreme and I think it's not the norm to have to pay for your guests to fly there...if you were millionaires then fine...but otherwise no.

We are all here for you...feel free to vent whenever you need it!!

Thank you...everyone has been very supportive this week and I've really needed it!
I know it's not the norm to fly our everyone...but I know how important it is to DF. Which is sweet and frustrating all in the same thought. So, I can at least try right? And what-so if I come up with some money to help and he says it isn't enough...um...yeah...watch out! I'm at least making an effort which is more than anything anyone else seems to be doing right now.

So, DF comes home from work from being in transit from one station to another...I've got the house in SHAMBLES! I've pulled out more stuff that is brand new or practically brand new, plus card making supplies and all sorts of stuff. I explain to DF that I'm having a garage sale ebay style and selling stuff on etsy... his reply is "Oh that's good. We need a flash for the DSL." SERIOUSLY! Seriously...are you kidding me. My reply was "Um. No." He left it alone and he is dang lucky he did! I would have lost it!

*sigh* off to the next job...Gotta work on adding up all the pennies...

 

[figment fan21]

I'm probably just stirring the pot or adding fuel to the fire here, but you could ask him the same question! If his answer is "marrying you" as it should be, then you could tell him you'll be at WDW on such-and-such a day in a white dress...

YES!!!!!

IF heidi didn't say it, i was going to! I just got all caught up. I'm sorry things still aren't going well for you.
I think that this is a very big deal for you and even as escape brides go we still want it to be as magical as we can possibly make it for ourselves, Fiance's and close family and friends who are invited. If this is the wedding you've always dreamed about DO NOT give it up, you WILL regret it!! I understand that DF is close with his immediate family but if they were all that "close" they'd find a way to be there for him and his soon to be wife.

As far as making money goes, we did the same thing on ebay. I didn't make as much as i wanted to and i was very very sad to see a few things go but every little bit helps. And YAY for etsy!!! Let me know your account name and i'll have you make something for my wedding, you can make my invitations or programs or something

keep your chin up and don't stop saying your selfish you are not being selfish at all!!!!

 

[ghoulish delight]

You are such a sweet person to even attempt to fly out his family! I don't think I would. But I'm extremely stubborn too! I totally agree that you shouldn't have to resent your wedding! If Disney is your dream wedding, it should be where you guys have it. It's just frankly not as important to the groom as it is to us brides (generally speaking).

No offense, but if your DF wants to talk about selfishness, then how about how selfish his family is being?? It's like you said, not getting fast food once a week or skipping the Starbucks! It's not that hard to stash money away here and there.

Geez, I am livid FOR you! You poor girl! I really really want to see it all work out for you so you can have the day you're dreaming of having!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

YES!!!!!

IF heidi didn't say it, i was going to! I am glad someone said it... I just got all caught up. I'm sorry things still aren't going well for you. I will see how it goes...
I think that this is a very big deal for you and even as escape brides go we still want it to be as magical as we can possibly make it for ourselves, Fiance's and close family and friends who are invited. Yup. If this is the wedding you've always dreamed about DO NOT give it up, you WILL regret it!!That is what everyone says and I happen to agree! I understand that DF is close with his immediate family but if they were all that "close" they'd find a way to be there for him and his soon to be wife. I agree with this one as well.

As far as making money goes, we did the same thing on ebay. I didn't make as much as i wanted to and i was very very sad to see a few things go but every little bit helps.The things I'm ebaying are thinsg I haven't looked at in YEARS...So, it isn't much of a loss...Heck some of the stuff are things that FSIL purchased (Vera Bradley) that STILL HAVE THE TAGS ON THEM and that I am not going to use...So, why keep them...they are cluttering my apartment! And YAY for etsy!!! Let me know your account name and i'll have you make something for my wedding, you can make my invitations or programs or something I'd love to...I'll send you a PM...as I don't think you can post stuff like that publicly.

keep your chin up and don't stop saying your selfish you are not being selfish at all!!!! Here is me-> -ok so maybe a little too high...but you get the point LOL

You are such a sweet person to even attempt to fly out his family! Thank you-I'm glad someone notices...I don't think I would. I sure as heck don't want to that is for sure. But I'm extremely stubborn too! I totally agree that you shouldn't have to resent your wedding! If Disney is your dream wedding, it should be where you guys have it. It's just frankly not as important to the groom as it is to us brides (generally speaking).Exactly

No offense, but if your DF wants to talk about selfishness, then how about how selfish his family is being?? I HEAR YA! It's like you said, not getting fast food once a week or skipping the Starbucks! It's not that hard to stash money away here and there. I'm going to blame them for NOT being avid Disney lovers-they don't understand the importance of "A penny saved is a penny more for Disney" amateurs.

Geez, I am livid FOR you! You poor girl! I really really want to see it all work out for you so you can have the day you're dreaming of having! Thank you!

So, I have some news...but have to get dinner ready...DF is on his way home...He's had a rough day and I'm playing nice for a bit...I have a bunch to tell you girls...little things that have happened today...but will get to it a little later...OH and I potentially found my something borrowed! funny story about that...LOL

Ok more later...

 

[ghoulish delight]

Hopefully it's good stuff you have to fill us in on! Keep your chin up, dear!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Ok...So, earlier I mentioned the whole "This is how I'm raising money for the trip" conversation and DF thought we could use that for a flash for the DSL camera! He hasn't brought it up since....Smart boy.

I told my mother that story and she nearly flipped. "Seriously?!?" Um yeah...seriously.
Mom and I started talking about various wedding things. Home vs. Disney. blah blah blah. I've pretty much proven to her that financially we would take a bath in it. Or at least she realizes that yes-it is doable...but not what I want. She is starting to get a little annoyed. I made mention that if I have to take on the cost of flying everyone down then DF will not get a grooms gift. (Sorry Honey-No Richard Petty Experience for you! ) I have also stated that quite honestly-if they are really going to be this much trouble then why the heck would I want to throw a reception. They are lucky they are there-and now you want me to feed them too. Duck that. I don't care what is customary...this is getting ridiculous! I'm also starting to get the feeling that DF's mother isn't very fond of me. Why I don't know...but she will have to deal with it...

Now, I was talking to my supervisor today...and she is pretty certain that someone has DF's ear (his mother). Even SHE sees this! Luckily, I'm dog sitting for her next week-which is wonderful b/c I need the time away...this is all getting just dumb...and the past couple of days haven't been the easiest. So, I'm just going to her place to chill and hang with the best puppy ever!
I also found my "something borrowed" at the center. My supervisor was grinning ear to ear when I asked for it. It's a broach. At one point the center had a costume jewelry sale and this piece just happened to peak out from some pile on the filing cabinet. It's old, the jewels are no longer perfectly alined-but it would be a nice little bit of bling on my bouquet. So, I asked my supervisor if I could borrow it. She said "Sure or if you want it just take it." I told her no that the only thing I had left was something borrowed and she just smiled and said "Ok." I'll post a pic on Sunday when I take pics for all my ebay sales.

So, I got paid from the center that I mentioned above and told DF what I brought home. I told him that X was going into the "Traveling to Disney Fund." He didn't say much more, nor did he bicker. He asked where I got the money and I told him. He was quiet...very quiet. Smart boy. He came home in a very good mood...Like I said in a previous post-I'm playing nice...and then he asks "Do you want to golf on Saturday with me and FBIL while my mom and sis go antiquing?" I declined the golf invite...18 holes of boring...I only really last 9 and greens fees would "be a waste of money on me." Now, I'm committed to antiquing with DF's mother and sister. I'll be bringing my camera b/c honestly, antiques make cool pictures. At least it will give me something to focus on.

I'm not going to say anything about the wedding. If they do...we'll just see what happens. I'm not holding my breath...but it sounds like DF and I will at least have 2 separate cars...which will be helpful...just in case I need to make a quick get away.

So, things are status quo right now. Some little good things (my something borrowed...mom starting to get annoyed) and some just coasting along...

 

[figment fan21]

I love the Somesthing borrowed story! its awesome and i can't wait to see the pictures.
I'm glad your mother is starting to get annoyed and is kind of on your side at this point
I also agree that if any of this money is going to be spent on flying down DF's family then forget about the groom's gift and forget feeding the free loaders! (sorry that was mean, i take it back.... kind of)
And oh how i HATE when my DF leaves me alone with his mom and other females in his family. He did that to me last sunday and it wasn't pretty ( I left it out of my PJ for obviouse reasons) But as long as you have a get away car and some pretty things to take pictures of i think you should be fine!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Usually being with DF's mother and sister usually isn't a problem. However, if I'm gonna be under fire-there are going to be issues. BIG issues. I have some fire power type verbal comebacks (where is the fire power smiley when you need it) It will be a very quiet day...but how much do you want to bet that she will pay for my lunch, drinks and snacks while we are at this thing...and heaven forbid I tell her no. We almost caused a scene once b/c I wanted to buy her lunch!
I've decided that EVERY dime that we get from his family-or at least every dime I get from his family is going into their trip fund. I know that no matter how much I protest and tell them that I don't need anything (most of which will be ebayed) or even if I told them-hold the gifts and put it toward the wedding trip they won't-So, I'll do it for them. THERE TAKE THAT!

While yes my mother is seeing my point...She wants t make sure their is a "reception" of some sort...I'm extremely hesitant about this. It's just more $$$ I'm going to have to come up with b/c I've maxed out my parents budget. Unless I nix the Rolls and even that won't give me enough $$$-close but not quite. *sigh* It will all work out.

I'm dog sitting next week...and from the budget board they said that people usually earn 15-25 $ a day. So, that might be another plane ticket. Take that DF!

 

[BecBennett]

You're doing so much! Hopefully your DF sees how hard you are working just so his family can be there, and he'll get his **** into gear and do mre stuff too, as aposed to trying to take it out of the money your parents are giving you...

I wanted to suggest that you look into Mystery Shopping. I do it here, and while I don't get much for each job - $10/$20 a job - I try and look at it as getting something for free, instead of getting paid to do something. For example if I get a grocery store mystery shopping job, they pay me $15 to answer questions about the shop, and I have to buy a grocery item, a deli item and a cleaning item. So I think of it as the company giving me those items for answering questions, instead of getting paid to answer the questions...

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

You're doing so much! Hopefully your DF sees how hard you are working just so his family can be there, and he'll get his **** into gear and do mre stuff too, as aposed to trying to take it out of the money your parents are giving you...

I wanted to suggest that you look into Mystery Shopping. I do it here, and while I don't get much for each job - $10/$20 a job - I try and look at it as getting something for free, instead of getting paid to do something. For example if I get a grocery store mystery shopping job, they pay me $15 to answer questions about the shop, and I have to buy a grocery item, a deli item and a cleaning item. So I think of it as the company giving me those items for answering questions, instead of getting paid to answer the questions...

I think he finally realizes that the money my parents are providing is not for travel.
I'm thought about mystery shopping....but not recently-thanks for refreshing my memory! I'll have to look into it!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

I'm doing my best to be light hearted about this whole thing. It seems like everyone is on my side with this. My day. I get Disney. DF noticed last night that I haven't talked to him in 2 days. I explained that honestly-I'm still not happy but we are working on it...I'm not done with all of this yet. Fine

So, this AM I'm doing my best looking up airfare trying to get budgets squared away...All my poor mother can say is "this isn't the wedding I imagined for you..." No worries Mom! We are getting our wedding (I need a foot stamping smiley) One way or another. I'm guessing that life events like this are events that bring a mother and daughter closure together. We have our moments and I've even posted them here...but she is really starting to be supportive (even when she has her moments)

I have also been thinking...if I have to plan everything and figure out finances and what not...if airfare is such a big deal...I could always each family member on a different flight Ok I'm kidding...kinda...

Next, I was thinking...How can I cut down my budget? You know I really wanted to do Mickey Ears for favors. DF's mother has wanted them every since she was a child and never got them b/c her parents said they were too expensive. So, I thought it was a nice gesture. Since I have to cut my budget and these items are what...$15-20 each...Not doing it...So ladies...What to do for favors??? Should I bother b/c honestly-isn't airfare enough??? (Mom will say I have to do something-So, any suggestions???)I was going to do the tea party...I even have enough Disney Dollars to do so...I don't thing that will happen. (Maybe I'll take my mom to tea) HDDP nixed. I'll do a DP if I want to, since I'll have to pay for it anyway. And if only my parents and I show up it will be worth it!

My mom insists on a meal of some sort. Not sure what that is going to be.

So, the questions for the day are:

Food locations with LOW minimums?
New favor ideas?

 

[MainStMandy]

Are Mickey ear favors THAT expensive wow... How about Mickey shaped treats? Like rice crispie treats with colorful ribbons? That can't be too much!

Ok locations...can't remember how many you will have but did you hear the Attic just lowered it's minimum to $1000 (Before 5 p.m. I think). Cali Grille is also $100 before 5 p.m. GF Tea Room is between $500 and $1000. Narcooses is $1500 before 3 p.m. Raglan Road has semi private rooms so does Il Mulino, Blue Zoo, Flying Fish and Shulas.

Good Luck hon It will get better!!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Rice Crispie Treats! That works! Awesome! They can't cost that much. Chocolate ears-white ribbon. Just enough.

I love th Attic. Total possiblity...

 

[pezaddict231]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. A wedding should be a happy time and I really don't get when other people try to make it about themselves and not the couple getting married! I think you are a saint for trying to save some money for DF's family. I don't think I could do it, but I can be stubborn and spiteful . It is not selfish to want your dream wedding, in fact, if there is anytime in your life to be "selfish", it's at your wedding because that is the one day that is all about you and your DF and you get to call the shots!

I hope things get better soon. I know you may not want to fuel the fire any further, but maybe you should suggest to DF that he find ways to contribute to the fund too. If you can take on odd jobs and sell things on ebay, he should be contributing in some way. This way you can put some of your extra money towards the reception. BTW, I think the Attic is perfect. Not sure what time you were planning to have your ceremony, but a brunch reception could be very reasonably priced.

I loved the idea of mickey ears too as favors...until I saw the price! You could always get DFMIL a set of her own as a parent gift, although at this point not sure you want to give her a gift!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Answers are embedded below...

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. A wedding should be a happy time and I really don't get when other people try to make it about themselves and not the couple getting married! I think you are a saint for trying to save some money for DF's family. Thank you... I don't think I could do it, but I can be stubborn and spiteful . Oh believe me...I'd like to be spiteful...I don't WANT to provide airfare-but I'm just going to consider this DF's Grooms Gift-which really bums me out b/c he would have loved the Richard Petty Experience! He has wanted to do it for years...but there will be no money for that. It is not selfish to want your dream wedding, in fact, if there is anytime in your life to be "selfish", it's at your wedding because that is the one day that is all about you and your DF and you get to call the shots! Exactly!

I hope things get better soon. Thank you! I know you may not want to fuel the fire any further, but maybe you should suggest to DF that he find ways to contribute to the fund too. If you can take on odd jobs and sell things on ebay, he should be contributing in some way. Oh he will...no worries there. This way you can put some of your extra money towards the reception. BTW, I think the Attic is perfect. So do I. Not sure what time you were planning to have your ceremony, but a brunch reception could be very reasonably priced.The wedding is going to be at the WP. I would like a brunch...but hmmm...I don't know..Do I have to shuttle everyone to the Boardwalk? How does that work?

I loved the idea of mickey ears too as favors...until I saw the price! You could always get DFMIL a set of her own as a parent gift, although at this point not sure you want to give her a gift! Nope. Not doing it...Since we have to save somewhere I have decided that this is too much $$$ (This is me being spiteful in some way. I need an outlet to rebel!)

So, on the flip side of things...if I can get DF to bump the wedding up to Feb-we would pay for airfare and they would only have to spend $200/room for 2 nights. If that is too much to ask then I might just put out there Heidi's thoughts. I'll be at the WP at such and such a time in a white dress. So there!
I want to get this conversation done tonight...I'm dog sitting at the end of the week for one week. If things blow up at least I'll have a break.