Petals & Pixie Dust Planning Journal 11/30/2009/2010

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Thanks! I'm pretty excited...but it won't be here for at least a week...maybe even 2 since it is being custom made

Some interesting news on the job front. I got a second interview for a photography job! I don't know if I posted this before but I kind of applied for it on a whim. I'm glad I did. I'm not finding anything in my field...Actually, I take that back. I've found jobs in my field and even applied for them, but have not gotten a call back. If I want to stay in the psychology field I'm gonna need a masters I'm just not ready for that yet. That's ok though...the photo job will keep me busy for the time being and just let me have some fun while working.

Once again my fingers are crossed. Work = More wedding stuff.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Bridezilla Moment...Deleted...

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Well...that went over like a ton of bricks.

 

[BecBennett]

Well...that went over like a ton of bricks.

Oh no! What happened? Need me to come rough someone up for you??

 

[ghoulish delight]

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this stuff! Also, if you need to vent about anything else - know that I (and I'm sure many of the other girls!) are here to listen! Hopefully it all figures itself out!

 

[torsie24]

Hope it all gets straightened out soon sweetie! We are having a lot of drama with DFs family getting to the wedding also. And he gets very protective over it all, so I totally understand.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Oh no! What happened? Need me to come rough someone up for you??

Thank you.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this stuff! Also, if you need to vent about anything else - know that I (and I'm sure many of the other girls!) are here to listen! Hopefully it all figures itself out!

Thanks.

Hope it all gets straightened out soon sweetie! We are having a lot of drama with DFs family getting to the wedding also. And he gets very protective over it all, so I totally understand.

Thanks...that is sorta where this is all going...

In short...b/c I don't want to get into all of it. It looks like I'm just going to end up with a wedding I show up to and not the one I want. I know that sounds super super selfish. DF doesn't want to have the wedding at WDW b/c those he really wants there might not be able to do it financially and it is too expensive for us to really pick up the tab. To him it comes down to simple economics. To me it comes down to wanting the fairy tale. The one day I get & I'm not going to even get that-I might as well just show up. (again selfish I know, but we have planned this for years-its heart breaking to think about doing something else) I know. I'm being selfish. I know I am. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

I'm gonna try to stay off the boards for a couple of days. I have an interview tomorrow...who knows maybe that will help things.

 

[figment fan21]

awe sweetie i'm so sorry! I dont even know what to say to make it any better. Your wedding is over a year away and nobody knows what is going to happen in the next year or so. I dont think you should just stop planning because FBIL's job is up in the air. but thats just MHO. I feel like in todays economy there are alot of people whose jobs are up in the air... but this is your day and i still think that there is enough time where you and DF should definatly not stop your wedding just yet. i'd wait it out and see what happens. i mean even if your DF ended up having to "loan" FBIL the airfare money and have him pay him back later i'm sure there is a way to work it out. I'd be looking into all possible ways to make it work because i can tell its what you really want to do!

 

[torsie24]

Oh sweetie I know jsut how you feel, in March was ready to cancel the whole thing, but it goes around in circles, I promise.

You're right to have a few days wedding-free and then re-assess it when your head is a bit clearer. I truly believe that everything turns out the way it is meant to in the end, so your wedding will work out for you eventually, sometimes it's just hard to see!

When you wish, upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come...to...you.

It's you and your DFs day, and the way I look at it with mine, if worst comes to worst then it'll be two of us (and the Roots) at Sunset Point and then a meal at the CG.

 

[MainStMandy]

Aww I am so sorry to hear things are going well. I doubt there is much anyone can say to you that will make you feel better...yet. Just know that know matter what, it's the act of getting married that is the important thing.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

awe sweetie i'm so sorry! I dont even know what to say to make it any better. Your wedding is over a year away and nobody knows what is going to happen in the next year or so. I dont think you should just stop planning because FBIL's job is up in the air. but thats just MHO. I feel like in todays economy there are alot of people whose jobs are up in the air... but this is your day and i still think that there is enough time where you and DF should definatly not stop your wedding just yet. i'd wait it out and see what happens. i mean even if your DF ended up having to "loan" FBIL the airfare money and have him pay him back later i'm sure there is a way to work it out. I'd be looking into all possible ways to make it work because i can tell its what you really want to do!

The funny thing is...is that HE was the one that suggested it over 7.5 years ago AND it is all we ever really planned on. (Or at least I thought)

Oh sweetie I know jsut how you feel, in March was ready to cancel the whole thing, but it goes around in circles, I promise.

You're right to have a few days wedding-free and then re-assess it when your head is a bit clearer. I truly believe that everything turns out the way it is meant to in the end, so your wedding will work out for you eventually, sometimes it's just hard to see!



It's you and your DFs day, and the way I look at it with mine, if worst comes to worst then it'll be two of us (and the Roots) at Sunset Point and then a meal at the CG.

As much as I wish your idea would work (the 2 of us, misty at what ever location) It won't work. He wants his immediate family there. My mom would kill me if she wasn't there. blah blah blah.
Right nw I can't even talk to DF for fear of saying some very not nice things. I have an interview tomorrow and need to prep for that. I need to be present in THAT room.

Thanks girls. I appreciate your support.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Aww I am so sorry to hear things are going well. I doubt there is much anyone can say to you that will make you feel better...yet. Just know that know matter what, it's the act of getting married that is the important thing.

I know. He keeps trumping everything that I say with "In the end I get you and that's all I want." I'm just selfish I guess. I always wanted a fairy tale. (see previous post)

 

[MainStMandy]

I know. He keeps trumping everything that I say with "In the end I get you and that's all I want." I'm just selfish I guess. I always wanted a fairy tale. (see previous post)

No, you aren't being selfish!! Df and I just had this talk while reviewing our budget for the wedding. He said he knows it's a lot of money and one day but it's OUR one day. There must be a way for you to compromise What about a road trip? Lol rent a HUGE bus and just shove Df's family in there!!

 

[Disneychix]

I agree with Mn St Mandy, Who says you all have to fly? Get a bus, heck rent a 12 seater if it's only 8 of you going!

What about some other venues in Fl? I got married at the Swan. It really fit our budget!

What about a wedding at home and you could hire a photogragpher in FL? Bring your wedding attire and have resort photos taken!

 

[BecBennett]

You're not being selfish! If we were to admit to you being selfish, it would be painting us all with the same brush!

I didn't want to say this for fear of stirring the flames, but I really don't think that FBIL's airfare should be paid out of the wedding fund! Or anyone's airfare for that matter! I'd be seeing red if I were your parents...

Anyway... Off that for now, coz it makes me angry, so I can only just imagine how it makes you feel!

One thing I did when DF decided that our wedding was too expensive for our guests, was show him how much it would cost for the most basic of weddings here in our home town for us. We'd have 3 times as many guests coming, that we'd have to pay for, it would cost us more then a Disney Wedding, plus we wouldn't be happy with anything we'd get.

Once I showed him that, he decided it was better for us to save money and have what we want, then for our guests to save money!

The question will come up again, I know it will, but hopefully when it does, it will be around the same time friends of ours are getting married, so I'll be able to sit through their entire wedding pointing out where and how ours will be better... Of course I wouldn't point it out to the bride and groom, but...

We're all here for you to vent!

 

[figment fan21]

Hey hun... Just checking in...


Listen i wasn't going to say any of this earlier but since someone else already brought it up and since i'm feeling alittle guttsy today here i am.... back on my soap box...
We went through the same thing with DFi's brothers and parents. they kept crying poor mouth and we realyl wanted to them there for our wedding. We considered doing it here but the more we discussed it the more DFI pushed us to keep it in disney. After thinking about everything DFi looked at me and said "We are giving them almost 2 years to save for this, if they cant figure something out in 2 years to make it to OUR wedding then obviously we weren't important enough, i dont care who goes as long as you and I (and randy) are there!" After that its pretty much been the theme of our wedding lol. We went through and got prices for all the disney resorts, how much airfare would be (roughly) and how much park tickets would be ect. We have it in a binder with all our other wedding stuff and we let DFi's entire family know how much everything would cost per person. It was something insane like 350$-400$ each. I mean really if you can't swing that after two years of knowing about it you're a jerk. And not only tht but DFi was in his best friends wedding last month and it was 3 hours away from the grooms family, they all had to stay overnight for the wedding and the people in the wedding had to be there for four nights for the rehersal and stuff. DFi and i ended up spending 300$ just on that wedding weekend and it was not as fun as disney would be! but In your case they've known for 7.5 years!!!!! Its not like nobody knew! What i would do is this.... send out a newsletter. in the newsletter i would put down all the hotel price ranges, mods, value, deluxe. Then i'd put down how much a one day pass would be (if they dont want to spend the extra money to have fun down there then whatever) The i would find some estimated airfare and put that on there. That way people can see it for themselves that it honestly isn't that big of a deal. If immediate family can't pull together to figure out a way to be there i think thats cruel to be honest. Share a hotel room or something, that'll make things cheaper! ugh.. ok i'm getting off of my soap box now. I just know how this feels and i feel terrible for brides who go through this... i mean a disney wedding is no different than any other destination wedding, people just hear disney and think $$$ or that its a stupid idea. Ok now i'm really done lol

Getting off the wedding, how did the interview go?

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Answers embedded below...

You're not being selfish! If we were to admit to you being selfish, it would be painting us all with the same brush! I hear ya!

I didn't want to say this for fear of stirring the flames, but I really don't think that FBIL's airfare should be paid out of the wedding fund! Or anyone's airfare for that matter! I'd be seeing red if I were your parents...Yeah. That is pretty much the general thought on that one.

Anyway... Off that for now, coz it makes me angry, so I can only just imagine how it makes you feel! At least you girls get it!

One thing I did when DF decided that our wedding was too expensive for our guests, was show him how much it would cost for the most basic of weddings here in our home town for us. We'd have 3 times as many guests coming, that we'd have to pay for, it would cost us more then a Disney Wedding, plus we wouldn't be happy with anything we'd get. I explained that to DF's mother...Her reply is that her daughters didn't cost that much. Um yeah...you live in a small town-of course it won't cost that much...What ever.

Once I showed him that, he decided it was better for us to save money and have what we want, then for our guests to save money! Yeah DF doesn't see it that way.

The question will come up again, I know it will, but hopefully when it does, it will be around the same time friends of ours are getting married, so I'll be able to sit through their entire wedding pointing out where and how ours will be better... Of course I wouldn't point it out to the bride and groom, but... We have a wedding to go to in Sept. Honestly, it's at a VFW. That is what they can afford...but for what they are paying for that...I can have the wedding I've always dreamed of

We're all here for you to vent! Thank you!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Answers in Red

Hey hun... Just checking in... Thank you for checking in


Listen i wasn't going to say any of this earlier but since someone else already brought it up and since i'm feeling alittle guttsy today here i am.... back on my soap box...Feel free...I have some choice words and really can't say them b/c they will get bleeped out. (Not b/c of your post...just in general)
We went through the same thing with DFi's brothers and parents. they kept crying poor mouth and we realyl wanted to them there for our wedding. We considered doing it here but the more we discussed it the more DFI pushed us to keep it in disney. After thinking about everything DFi looked at me and said "We are giving them almost 2 years to save for this, if they cant figure something out in 2 years to make it to OUR wedding then obviously we weren't important enough, i dont care who goes as long as you and I (and randy) are there!" I wish DF would see it this way...but he doesn't. He's very close with his immediate family.I understand his reason...but seriously...they had 2 years (now 1.5-ish)After that its pretty much been the theme of our wedding lol. We went through and got prices for all the disney resorts, how much airfare would be (roughly) and how much park tickets would be ect. We have it in a binder with all our other wedding stuff and we let DFi's entire family know how much everything would cost per person. It was something insane like 350$-400$ each. I mean really if you can't swing that after two years of knowing about it you're a jerk.Thank you for saying this... And not only tht but DFi was in his best friends wedding last month and it was 3 hours away from the grooms family, they all had to stay overnight for the wedding and the people in the wedding had to be there for four nights for the rehersal and stuff.Exactly DFi and i ended up spending 300$ just on that wedding weekend and it was not as fun as disney would be!YUP but In your case they've known for 7.5 years!!!!! Maybe they haven't known for 7.5...We have...they may have known...4...but still...Its not like nobody knew! ExactlyWhat i would do is this.... send out a newsletter. in the newsletter i would put down all the hotel price ranges, mods, value, deluxe. Then i'd put down how much a one day pass would be (if they dont want to spend the extra money to have fun down there then whatever) The i would find some estimated airfare and put that on there. That way people can see it for themselves that it honestly isn't that big of a deal. If immediate family can't pull together to figure out a way to be there i think thats cruel to be honest. Thank youShare a hotel room or something, that'll make things cheaper! ugh.. ok i'm getting off of my soap box now. I just know how this feels and i feel terrible for brides who go through this...thank you i mean a disney wedding is no different than any other destination wedding, people just hear disney and think $$$ or that its a stupid idea. Ok now i'm really done lol

Getting off the wedding, how did the interview go?

Interview was short and to the point. I'll know Friday.

I've done my best to stay away from all things wedding. It isn't easy. I'm not talking much to DF either. I'm in bed shortly after dinner and making "nice" conversation-but that's it. I'm sorry...This is his second marriage. I only get one day and I know I'm going to resent him and his family if we don't have the wedding at Disney..but then again I'm being selfish-right. What ever. I could take a lot of low shots right now...and trust me I am more than tempted.

We have to go to his grandparents house for his gpa's b-day. If someone asks "How are the wedding plans." My reply is going to be "There are no wedding plans." AND I will be more than happy to explain that no one on DF's side of the family can afford to go-so I'm not planning. Duck em. We've been together for this past 8 years...whats wrong with an 8 year engagement. Again, what ever.

I'm at an angry point right now. I don't know what else to be. I know I'm going to resent and regret not having my wedding at disney.

I have a sneaking suspicion that DF wants his family to have a "family vacation" while we are there. Sorry. No. I'm more than willing to work to provide airfare for them to get there. Fine. Nope-that isn't good enough. I can't win. Either way. I can't win.

Not happy.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

...I don't know if this is better or not. I'm going with better-but time will tell.
DF calls on his way home from work-I'm obviously in tears...he asks why and I just say "b/c I'm not happy with the wedding stuff." Conversation ends. I order pizza for dinner.
DF gets home-asks why I'm crying. Again, I explain my side of it. I throw some other things in that I will spare you. He says I'm not looking at the whole picture. It's selfish of me to say certain things. I counter with a lot of the selfless acts that I have made over the last few month. In the end it boils down to figuring out a way to make it cheaper for everyone to get there.
I'm not thrilled with this, but at least I'm still going to have a Disney wedding-at least for now.
At one point he said "What is more important; Marrying me or the wedding." My answer; "Marrying you, but I don't want to resent our wedding day." I thought that was fair. Either way it's true.
So, fingers crossed I find away to make some money.
I should hear Friday about the interview I had today...it's not a ton of money-but it's money. *sigh*

 

[Rebclay]

I'm so sorry that things have turned this way for you. I hope you guys do figure out a way to make everything happen and you to still have your dream wedding. Good luck with your job.