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- Jan 19, 2006
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Chapter Two: Neked ladies & the Search for Popcorn
On our way to Chicago, we were looking at the time and thinking we were going to cut it close making it to Garrett's. We had looked online and even called my sister to double check
and they had just opened a new store that we were told over the phone that yes, the new location was open until 10 pm. We had directions, we were set. 
We only made one quick stop at a Walmart in Wisconsin Dells. Needed eye solution and the bag ours was in got packed at the bottom. Not worth digging it out.
It was rainy and foggy out. Really foggy. Pea soup with extra peas please, foggy.
So we took the wrong exit. The Walmart is on an exit that you do not see the store until you have passed it.
So instead of Walmart, we found this.
I said, with one cloudy contact mind you:
"Nice. Name a restaurant specifically for fat people to eat at and get hit on."
This was Baylor's reaction:
Because of course, he thought his mother was an idiot.
He said, "No, it's a strip club."
I argued, it was not.
He said, "Can't ya see the trucker lady outline?"
Then I went:
I could not believe I had only read the words and did not pay attention to the rest of my surroundings. Or maybe I can! 
Thank God I was not perusing for a breakfast platter or I might have gotten a fuzzy muffin!
So after wetting myself, changing my clothes and feeling like a tool, as well as a confirmed blind bat, we went one more exit forward and found Walmart!
I seriously had my TR on the mind and thought you all would think a restaurant named for those more well rounded than others, would be funny.
If only I knew how funny it would be!
We switched drivers at Walmart and kept heading down the road! When we bought the booger (which is opposite of bugger which is how I had been spelling it) we knew the drivers seat back rest was broke. I just thought I would put pillows behind my back for comfort and be fine. We would worry about fixing it later. It was perfect for Dan.
Well with the pea plus fog, and being stuffed from behind with pillows, it was a white knuckle ride for a few hours. There was also construction for almost 100 miles.
Can I say how dumb that is?
I mean, you cannot fix 100 miles at a time so why not do 20, then move the cones? Why slow down traffic to a single lane for all that time?
Anyway, we reached the outskirts of Chicago, asked every toll person and knew we were pushing our luck to get to Garrett's.
We finally saw the horizon of buildings and it was like 9:50 p.m.
Drove into downtown, up and down the main drag and planned on banging on the door if it was just past close (well I did cause I am the only one willing to make an @rse of herself for popcorn.)
We found the Garrett's at 10:10.
The lights were out and nobody was home. Turns out they are open late on Friday and Saturday nights.
This was Wednesday!!!
So glad we did not get a speeding ticket over a closed store!
If you have not had this popcorn of the Gods, I will tell you that you have no idea how good popcorn can be.
It was one of Oprah's favorites a few years back.
We got it for the first time last year and are in love.
You can order it in a tin. Shipping is not so bad.
I have never liked cheese popcorn before.
This stuff is like crack.
I may just have to give in and order it.
You can mix it with their caramel popcorn as well. The caramel is very good.
I am not a fan of mixing though and the kids like different amounts of mix. So I would buy it separate and mix to your liking.
Sorry I failed this mission for you all but here is some stolen food porn!
I am telling you the stuff is amazing and you will wait in line for 20 minutes to get it at any of their shops in Chicago!
I knew we would not be back through Chicago on our way home, so although bummed, Carsyn decided after seeing the mini NYC that Chicago is, we needed to go shopping here before school next year! A 17th B-day trip for sure!
- Carsyn was awake for Chicago. Other than that she was in full hibernation mode!
We got back on the road, headed east then south and, we were exhausted!
Ready to sleep.
So we pulled over, actually in a hotel parking lot, and crashed!
I slept in the back seat - it was not folded down but man is it nice to stretch out a bit.
Dan took the front passenger seat that fully reclines and the kids took the middle row captain chairs that recline as well.
We shut the blinds and settled in at about midnight.
The first leg was well underway. We only needed to be in Knoxville by 4 p.m. for Shannon's house so we were doing great on time!
For once!
I comforted him (after laughing first), and we got back on the road. A little while later, we passed a sign that advertised a SubwaySubwaySubway at the next exit. I honestly wish I had a picture, because after driving through the world's smallest town, we finally found, right smackdab in the middle of a parking lot, all 20 square feet of it....a Subway. Needless to say, I choose where we eat now.
