Perimenopause is making me INSANE!

I’m through menopause now, pretty much. No period for 3 years but still get hot flashes off and on but nothing I can’t handle. It’s the lack of sleep that’s killing me! Anyone have any tips? I sometimes take melatonin but I don’t think it’s probably a good idea to take them every night.

About 6-7 years ago (before peri-menopause symptoms), I had went through a really rough bout of insomnia for no reason. The thing that got me through it was Klonopin, which is a benzo, but it worked. I still take them (just .5 mg) on a night where I absolutely cannot fall asleep. With my insomnia getting bad again lately, I'm taking one about once a week now. I hate to even do it that much, but I need sleep! I have no desire to take Ambien or those types of drugs. Other than that, deep breathing usually helps me or this one trick where you play reverse psychology with yourself... You TRY to keep your eyes open. Focus on one thing in the room and tell yourself you have to stay awake staring at that, and for some reason, it has the reverse effect and makes you want to fall asleep. Also add to me to the list of those whose DH snores -- so, when I wake up and and happen to hear him, good luck trying to get back to sleep.

My biggest complaints are acne (which I've been dealing with for about 2 years -- my dermatologist has me on something different now, so we'll see), faster pulse rate and random heart palpitations (blood pressure is fine, though). My hair is breaking, and I have on and off tinnitus (was surprised to find that this can be symptom, too, due to fluctuating hormones). I get angrier easier, but I think it's also because I've got a middle schooler going through puberty and his hormones are raging too, LOL. Waking up hot (without sweating) EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

In the past year and a half, I've skipped a period 3 or 4 times, so I think I've got a while to go still. I won't do HRT because of family history with cancer.
 
I am *so* excited to find this thread! I am 47 and I am certain I have started perimenopause. My periods used to be clockwork and now they are completely unpredictable...drives me crazy. I remember my OB/GYN came and spoke to a group of moms several years ago and she said perimenopause/menopause is like puberty in reverse. You get cramps, sore breasts, acne, etc. with your periods. Check that one off for me. Plus, I’ve been experiencing hot flashes mostly at night, night waking, and extreme fatigue at times. Like so tired I *have* to take a nap. It feels like I felt in the beginning of pregnancy.

The BIGGEST issue I have had has been depression - like crying almost every day. So, I decided to try St. John’s Wort, and I’ve added in a B Complex and D3 for good measure. I’ve also started eating a healthier diet. So far, the combination has worked really well for the depression and for not waking at night.

I was feeling somewhat “alone” in this as my mom had a hysterectomy and so she says she didn’t really experience this, and my mother-in-law said hers was minimal. My friends are mostly much younger than me. So, if nothing else, I have found a place to commiserate and be encouraged! :grouphug:
 
I am *so* excited to find this thread! I am 47 and I am certain I have started perimenopause. My periods used to be clockwork and now they are completely unpredictable...drives me crazy. I remember my OB/GYN came and spoke to a group of moms several years ago and she said perimenopause/menopause is like puberty in reverse. You get cramps, sore breasts, acne, etc. with your periods. Check that one off for me. Plus, I’ve been experiencing hot flashes mostly at night, night waking, and extreme fatigue at times. Like so tired I *have* to take a nap. It feels like I felt in the beginning of pregnancy.

The BIGGEST issue I have had has been depression - like crying almost every day. So, I decided to try St. John’s Wort, and I’ve added in a B Complex and D3 for good measure. I’ve also started eating a healthier diet. So far, the combination has worked really well for the depression and for not waking at night.

I was feeling somewhat “alone” in this as my mom had a hysterectomy and so she says she didn’t really experience this, and my mother-in-law said hers was minimal. My friends are mostly much younger than me. So, if nothing else, I have found a place to commiserate and be encouraged! :grouphug:
Everyone experiences menopause differently. I know older women who barely saw it as a little blip. It’s hard to talk to women who think it’s no big deal when you are truly struggling.

Meanwhile, my mother who also had a complete hysterectomy experienced some serious mental health issues, all hormonally related. I thank God that I just became a bit “witchy with a B” but didn’t lose my sanity at times like she did. I’m not gonna lie, I worried that the same thing would happen to me I’m so grateful that it didn’t.
 


I am 47 and I saw my dr this past summer. She said I wasn't any where near peri-men. I swear to all that is holy I am. I am brain foggy, I get angry as a switch at times, depressed, like my hormones tank and I feel hopeless (thankfully that doesn't last long each month - a few days at most), I wake up so frickin HOT but not sweating and I am freezing, like no matter what I do, I can't get warm, and I don't sleep all night anymore. I can sleep anywhere but just not all night long.

Still she says no.

Well I say she has to be wrong. If her indicator is that my periods are regular, like still every 28 days, well thats terrible because I feel all the other things going on. My period has changed even if it is regular as. I feel like I am going crazy at times with this. I just want it to all be over lol!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Everyone experiences menopause differently. I know older women who barely saw it as a little blip. It’s hard to talk to women who think it’s no big deal when you are truly struggling.

Meanwhile, my mother who also had a complete hysterectomy experienced some serious mental health issues, all hormonally related. I thank God that I just became a bit “witchy with a B” but didn’t lose my sanity at times like she did. I’m not gonna lie, I worried that the same thing would happen to me I’m so grateful that it didn’t.

Sorry to hear that about your mom. It probably took people awhile to figure out what was going on with her, too, right? It really is amazing the power that hormones have in and over our bodies. I was really struggling emotionally, and I may very well again. I knew I needed help, but I wanted to try natural supplements first. But, I’m not above taking medication either if I end up needing to.
 
I am 47 and I saw my dr this past summer. She said I wasn't any where near peri-men. I swear to all that is holy I am. I am brain foggy, I get angry as a switch at times, depressed, like my hormones tank and I feel hopeless (thankfully that doesn't last long each month - a few days at most), I wake up so frickin HOT but not sweating and I am freezing, like no matter what I do, I can't get warm, and I don't sleep all night anymore. I can sleep anywhere but just not all night long.

Still she says no.

Well I say she has to be wrong. If her indicator is that my periods are regular, like still every 28 days, well thats terrible because I feel all the other things going on. My period has changed even if it is regular as. I feel like I am going crazy at times with this. I just want it to all be over lol!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 46. Have been having the hot flashes for about 3 years or so. And irritability and brain fog and facial hair, heart palpitations and brittle hair and nails. Also, though, have been having irregular periods for 2.5 years. Currently 6 weeks since one. And then sometimes when they come, it's a light 2 day thing. Yet sometimes I will have 2 just 2 weeks apart. Still my doctor says no....I am too young she says. I know I am in peri and I also know it will be a long phase for me as becoming a woman was a long slow phase (started at 14 but not regular until 16) as were both my childbirths (one was at least 36 hours and the other was at least 24) . I think my body is very sensitive to the slightest change in hormones. I haven't found anything to help and am afraid to take soy as I hear that may cause acne and I've had problems with that since 21 (though that seemed to have eased up the past 2-3 years).
 
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Sorry to bump such an old thread, but it looks like many others have done so over the years too. I just need others to commiserate with. I just don't feel like myself and I hate it. I have insomnia, wake up hot (but no hot flashes yet), acne, random heart flutters/palpitations, forgetfulness, I can go on... Hoping to get through this in the next couple of years (I'm 48 now).
Hang in there... I AM STILL IN PERI.... age 54 started peri 12 years ago at age 42. I went thru every friggen stage... flooding periods, hot flashes, insomnia, palps, brain fog, anxiety, mood swings, dizzies, cold flashes etc etc etc. I am now at the skipping periods stage and spotting stage. Last year I had 6 total periods. Hope this is finally the year I go into Meno but not holding my breath.. Just remember to take it one day at the time and remember to hold onto your sense of humor.... some of my funniest moments have been my peri ones...
 
I am 46. Have been having the hot flashes for about 3 years or so. And irritability and brain fog and facial hair, heart palpitations and brittle hair and nails. Also, though, have been having irregular periods for 2.5 years. Currently 6 weeks since one. And then sometimes when they come, it's a light 2 day thing. Yet sometimes I will have 2 just 2 weeks apart. Still my doctor says no....I am too young she says. I know I am in peri and I also know it will be a long phase for me as becoming a woman was a long slow phase (started at 14 but not regular until 16) as were both my childbirths (one was at least 36 hours and the other was at least 24) . I think my body is very sensitive to the slightest change in hormones. I haven't found anything to help and am afraid to take soy as I hear that may cause acne and I've had problems with that since 21 (though that seemed to have eased up the past 2-3 years).

I have had acne since i gave birth to my 3rd child when I was 27. 20 years..... I would love to say its due to this peri business but I don't think so. I had such nice skin until she came along....sigh.....

I am certain we are there and yet the professionals say no.
 
Oh, and I saw mentioned in this thread, somewhere, that drinking wine makes you go hot. That's funny cause I get hot and this red splotchy rash on my chest, like embarrassed red or heat rash, when drinking wine now. It's not every time I drink and not even the same wine (I was thinking I was allergic to something in wine that may be more in certain wines, like higher tanin or something but then I tested it and drank the same wine over 2 nights from same bottle and 1 night I got splotchy and second night I didn't).
 
Sorry to hear that about your mom. It probably took people awhile to figure out what was going on with her, too, right? It really is amazing the power that hormones have in and over our bodies. I was really struggling emotionally, and I may very well again. I knew I needed help, but I wanted to try natural supplements first. But, I’m not above taking medication either if I end up needing to.
Thanks. In my mother’s case, it was a matter of quality of life vs. quantity. She absolutely needed to take hormones. Her life improved dramatically on hormones. Tragically, the hormones were part of the reason that she ultimately got cancer and died of it at the age of 62. My OBGYN flat out told me that she would not put me on hormones because it would be a death sentence.

It wasn't easy going without hormones, but I value my life and I pray that I live long enough to see my daughter fall in love, get married, and have children. I look forward to playing with my grandchildren. My mother missed out on all of these things.
 
To be honest, ever since pregnancy, I haven’t slept straight through the night. Breastfeeding for a year definitely got me in a routine of getting up multiple times a night and going back to sleep. I get up at least three times a night to pee. It’s become normal for me.

I can handle the waking up because I fall back asleep easily. The hard nights for me are those rare nights that my mind won’t turn off, and I can’t fall asleep in the first place.

I find that the more active I am and the more fresh air I get during the day, the easier it is to fall asleep.
I could sleep through the night after kids it’s just been like the last 10 years. I can fall asleep fairly easy but then I wake up and can’t shut my brain off. And then I listen to my DH breathing/snoring. So then I usually get up and sleep in the guest room. Would just love to sleep through the night!
Okay...yes! I forgot to mention the most important thing...

I kicked my snoring husband out of the bedroom!!!

He snores like a chainsaw on steroids, and to be honest, I know I snore too. We kept waking each other up, so we started using ear plugs. I ended up clogging up my ears so badly with wax that I couldn't hear. I had to get them flushed out at the doctor's office, and suddenly I could hear like never before. The doctor told me to kick him out.

So, I cleaned out the spare room which already had a twin bed in it. I must have thrown away 20 bags of garbage from stuff I saved. I bought him beautiful bedding at the Company Store and a memory foam topper. He was only going to try for a night or two. After my first night of blissful sleep, I told him that he was sleeping there from now on.

Now I'm dreading sharing a hotel room with him in April...
I’ve broached the idea of separate bedrooms. He’s not having it. Which is dumb because pretty much every night we go through this charade. He’s comes to bed, starts snoring, I wake up and go to the guest room. I hate traveling with him because of the sleeping arrangements. He always wants to go somewhere but all I can think of is “oh great, some vacation. I won’t get any sleep”.
 
I’ve broached the idea of separate bedrooms. He’s not having it. Which is dumb because pretty much every night we go through this charade. He’s comes to bed, starts snoring, I wake up and go to the guest room. I hate traveling with him because of the sleeping arrangements. He always wants to go somewhere but all I can think of is “oh great, some vacation. I won’t get any sleep”.

I have yet to figure out why some people get so vehemently opposed to this. My best friend's husband is that way and she is MISERABLE. She ends up having to move somewhere else in the house several nights a week. I guess there is some weird stigma attached to this? If you're in an otherwise happy marriage I don't know why this is such a big deal. I guess nobody wants to be that couple that ends up like their grandparents or something.:)
 
I have yet to figure out why some people get so vehemently opposed to this. My best friend's husband is that way and she is MISERABLE. She ends up having to move somewhere else in the house several nights a week. I guess there is some weird stigma attached to this? If you're in an otherwise happy marriage I don't know why this is such a big deal. I guess nobody wants to be that couple that ends up like their grandparents or something.:)

I know!! It's crazy. Dr.'s don't want to acknowledge it at all. I brought up my concerns and symptoms and my dr. barley looked up, shrugged and said, "sounds about right." That was it. We should have had a long discussion about it and what to do and what to expect etc. Thank goodness for the internet.
 
Oh... the not sleeping through the night. I have that problem too. Between snoring DH and restless elderly dog I am wakened a few times a night. And then wake up sweating and kick covers off...then wake up chilly and pull covers back on...then sweating again. Ughh. I usually go out to sofa bewtween 3 and 5 am. We have 2 empty bedrooms I coukd go to but they are upstairs and our master is down so I guess I am too lazy. Anyway...I am used to the not sleeping well I guess.
 
I have yet to figure out why some people get so vehemently opposed to this. My best friend's husband is that way and she is MISERABLE. She ends up having to move somewhere else in the house several nights a week. I guess there is some weird stigma attached to this? If you're in an otherwise happy marriage I don't know why this is such a big deal. I guess nobody wants to be that couple that ends up like their grandparents or something.:)
My parents had a very passionate relationship right up until the end of her life. They had separate rooms because of his snoring, and trust me, it did not affect the romance whatsoever. He would visit her or she would visit him.

As far as my husband, he definitely gave me a hard time, but I'm very stubborn. I basically took the bull by the horns, cleared out the spare room (hours of decluttering), bought everything he could need in the colors and theme that he would enjoy, and told him that we would both finally sleep much better. He had one tantrum over it, but I kind of ignored it just like I ignored my DD's tantrums when she was 18 months old. I continued to list the reasons why this was better for both of us, better for our health to sleep uninterrupted. He didn't bring it up again.
 
I could sleep through the night after kids it’s just been like the last 10 years. I can fall asleep fairly easy but then I wake up and can’t shut my brain off. And then I listen to my DH breathing/snoring. So then I usually get up and sleep in the guest room. Would just love to sleep through the night!

I’ve broached the idea of separate bedrooms. He’s not having it. Which is dumb because pretty much every night we go through this charade. He’s comes to bed, starts snoring, I wake up and go to the guest room. I hate traveling with him because of the sleeping arrangements. He always wants to go somewhere but all I can think of is “oh great, some vacation. I won’t get any sleep”.
I can definitely empathize! I made the switch several years ago and I do sleep much better. I have always suffered from insomnia though. It's crazy because neither one of us were getting any quality sleep. I would sleep on my side away from him and he would have his back to me( so back to back) and we'd have sore arms/shoulders all day. I even tried ear plugs and white noise machine, I could still hear his snoring! I dread vacation time too, that is something I have to suffer through unless we have a suite booked. I've gotten so desperate over the years that I slept in the tub at the hotel, also slept on floor in the kids separate bedroom one time. Several times we did VRBO and so I have different bedroom to get relief.
 
I can definitely empathize! I made the switch several years ago and I do sleep much better. I have always suffered from insomnia though. It's crazy because neither one of us were getting any quality sleep. I would sleep on my side away from him and he would have his back to me( so back to back) and we'd have sore arms/shoulders all day. I even tried ear plugs and white noise machine, I could still hear his snoring! I dread vacation time too, that is something I have to suffer through unless we have a suite booked. I've gotten so desperate over the years that I slept in the tub at the hotel, also slept on floor in the kids separate bedroom one time. Several times we did VRBO and so I have different bedroom to get relief.
I’m so glad it’s not just me! DH makes it seem like it is. I’ve slept on the floor mod the hotel bathroom, and on the floor closest to the door of the hotel room AND have my earbuds in with music just to not hear him.
 
For those with insomnia due to peri menopause, it does get better. I had horrendous insomnia for all of those years, able to get to sleep but after a couple of hours, I’d wake up and be awake the rest of the night. It was awful. I had the cold flashes, freezing cold for hours, as well. I was not prepared for either of these unwelcome symptoms. I also had hot flashes but the cold was worse. When hearing about peri menopause, I never heard about insomnia or cold flashes, all I heard was the hot flashes, irritability.
 
I am *so* excited to find this thread! I am 47 and I am certain I have started perimenopause. My periods used to be clockwork and now they are completely unpredictable...drives me crazy. I remember my OB/GYN came and spoke to a group of moms several years ago and she said perimenopause/menopause is like puberty in reverse. You get cramps, sore breasts, acne, etc. with your periods. Check that one off for me. Plus, I’ve been experiencing hot flashes mostly at night, night waking, and extreme fatigue at times. Like so tired I *have* to take a nap. It feels like I felt in the beginning of pregnancy.

The BIGGEST issue I have had has been depression - like crying almost every day. So, I decided to try St. John’s Wort, and I’ve added in a B Complex and D3 for good measure. I’ve also started eating a healthier diet. So far, the combination has worked really well for the depression and for not waking at night.

I was feeling somewhat “alone” in this as my mom had a hysterectomy and so she says she didn’t really experience this, and my mother-in-law said hers was minimal. My friends are mostly much younger than me. So, if nothing else, I have found a place to commiserate and be encouraged! :grouphug:
I "hear you".. I also believe in Extra Vitamin D, depending how much daily sun you get. I take 5,000 IU per day and a good multivitamin daily formulated for women with B Complex and minerals in it. Vitamin D is linked to depression, especially in the winter months where you don't get much sunlight. Exercise also combats the blues, gets the natural endorphins going. Good luck, hang in there!:grouphug:
 

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