Perimenopause is making me INSANE!

anniemae

Either she is eating a delicious
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
I mainly feel hopeless about the medical community. I've been with my GYN practice for over 20 years. The GYN I am seeing next week is my age and was there for the delivery of my son. He's got a great rating and great bedside manner but when it comes to menopause issues, I just feel like they don't want to really think about it. There is a "menopause specialist" about 40 minutes from my home that gets good ratings. Used to be a regular OB/GYN but I guess as she has aged, she has changed interests. Appears she used bioidentical hormones which I hear are "the thing" to be using. Drawback: does not take insurance and charges a boutique fee. Same for finding a doctor to treat this skin condition I have (female parts related). Only two in the area and they are both cash only. One charges $1500 for the first visit. Unbelievable. So, I'm trying to work with my GYN as much as I can at first. I've *never* found a decent GP here either in my 20 or so years. It's really just a shame. I don't think it's me either. I've heard complaints from others where I live. So that's really where my hopeless feelings come from; I feel like I can't even get to the right person.

I feel like some doc's don't take it seriously. When I told my primary care about my symptoms that I thought could be peri menopause, she just kind of shrugged and said, "sounds like it." I think more docs should be educated so when women in their forties have symptoms, and there are TONS of them, they can guide them better. It's almost like they don't want to talk about it or give it any attention. Just be quiet and get through it.
 

gemini2727

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
I feel like some doc's don't take it seriously. When I told my primary care about my symptoms that I thought could be peri menopause, she just kind of shrugged and said, "sounds like it." I think more docs should be educated so when women in their forties have symptoms, and there are TONS of them, they can guide them better. It's almost like they don't want to talk about it or give it any attention. Just be quiet and get through it.
I have to say I was very disappointed in my Gyn, a woman a little younger than I am, when I mentioned some peri-symptoms. She said yeah, that's what happens...didn't offer any advice, no further discussion on her end. Next visit, I'll pursue it more, but I have a feeling she won't be much help. And in general she's a great doctor, I don't get it. It's like once you hit that point in your life, you're on your own? It's not right.
 

Christine

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 31, 1999
I have to say I was very disappointed in my Gyn, a woman a little younger than I am, when I mentioned some peri-symptoms. She said yeah, that's what happens...didn't offer any advice, no further discussion on her end. Next visit, I'll pursue it more, but I have a feeling she won't be much help. And in general she's a great doctor, I don't get it. It's like once you hit that point in your life, you're on your own? It's not right.
This one doctor who is in the practice I go to said as much. Out of 20 years of going there, I had never gotten him, but I did this past May. I really liked him and he was very good at addressing this condition I now have. Then mentioned menopause exacerbating it and so on. He then said "You know, we GYNs really hate menopause. It's the depressing part of our jobs and, I hate to say, we just don't relish dealing with it." I appreciated his honesty at least (and he was nice and sort of "jokey" when he said it). But I think it's the truth. I feel like they don't get much education on it (sort of like MDs getting nutritional education) and they don't really know how to treat it. Plus it takes them more than the 10 minutes they have with you to really sort it out.
 
  • gemini2727

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 19, 2009
    This one doctor who is in the practice I go to said as much. Out of 20 years of going there, I had never gotten him, but I did this past May. I really liked him and he was very good at addressing this condition I now have. Then mentioned menopause exacerbating it and so on. He then said "You know, we GYNs really hate menopause. It's the depressing part of our jobs and, I hate to say, we just don't relish dealing with it." I appreciated his honesty at least (and he was nice and sort of "jokey" when he said it). But I think it's the truth. I feel like they don't get much education on it (sort of like MDs getting nutritional education) and they don't really know how to treat it. Plus it takes them more than the 10 minutes they have with you to really sort it out.
    I can understand a doctor feeling that way to some extent, but they should keep in mind if it depresses them, how much more depressing it must be for the patient!
    You're right, it's such a complex process, and different for every woman. I wish more doctors were available who specialized in (peri) menopause. There certainly seems to be a need for it.
     

    IDoDis

    Knows the password to get into the Moose Lodge
    Joined
    Jan 14, 2006
    So here I am back on this thread 3 1/2 years older and still haven't hit the big M. I feel closer than I did compared to when I posted on this thread back in 2012, but not by a lot. My cycles are a bit more sporadic and some are very light and some a lot heavier and longer. No night sweats or any glaring symptoms. The things I have noticed are weight gain (gained 8 pounds when I didn't have a cycle for 5 months), my hair has always been straight as a board, but now it's more wavy so I have to use a straightener, and sometimes I get these monstrous-sized zits on my face in places that I never used to get a zit -- like right in the middle of my cheek or right in the middle of my eyebrow. These are large and deep and last for weeks. These are outliers from the typical t-zone and are quite embarrassing to have at my age (51) when one pops up.

    My GYN said I still look pretty young (not much grey or wrinkles compared to others my age), so his gut feeling is that it's still going to be a while for me -- like a few more years. He said that's a good thing because having those hormones will keep me looking younger and will help prevent osteoporosis and cancers that become more common after menopause. So while many of us wish we could just be done with it all, the benefits of it happening later vs sooner are good. I might feel differently if I were experiencing really awful symptoms (knocking on wood).

    I'm curious how others who posted on here 3 years ago are doing. Did anyone make it to the other side of the bridge yet?
    I'm checking back in 2 years later and 5 1/2 years since I first posted on this thread. I am now 53 years old and I still haven't made it to the big M. I had a period a few weeks ago after not having one since June. So the process continues. No symptoms really to speak of besides the cycles really slowing down. No hot flashes, or anything like that. I have brain fog, but I think I've had some brain fog my whole life! :P No more funky eyebrow zits at least! So my gynecologist was correct a couple of years ago when he said I was still a few years away from menopause. I am not complaining because I think it helps keep me looking and feeling young. I took off the 8 pounds I wrote about upthread and feel about the same as I did 10 years ago health-wise. I work out 5 times a week and don't have any aches/pains. No complaints! However, it will be nice to be done with everything so that I don't get any Aunt Flo surprises. Once the cycles are spread out like they are, I don't keep track too well and don't carry around feminine products like I used to. So getting caught off-guard away from home was no fun!
     
  • maxaroni

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 17, 2005
    Wait. Stop right there. WHAT?!?!?!
    I know, right? WTH??? Not saying that symptoms are bad for that amount of time, but I would have periods that were regular cycle wise, but became lighter (bleeding). GYN said that it can be that way 10 - 15 years prior. Things of that sort, not necessarily all the bad things such as night sweats, or awful hot flashes.
     

    lifesavacation

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 24, 2016
    Couple of questions....I’m 45 and for the last couple of years my periods have been a little wonky. I do believe I’m in peri menopause. My last couple of periods have been light with really strong cramping. Is that normal? I read through the previous responses and no one mentions having an increase in cramping.

    Also, are most of you seeing a specialist? I had my annual exam with my GP in November but I’m wondering if I should start seeing a Gyn.
     

    yoopermom

    Come join Bravo by the fire...
    Joined
    Sep 27, 2000
    Also, are most of you seeing a specialist? I had my annual exam with my GP in November but I’m wondering if I should start seeing a Gyn.
    I would definitely see a Gyn, and a GOOD one, at that (ask everyone you know for recommendations). I had a hysterectomy at 45, and had to go to a Gyn in a large city two hours away to find one who would take my complaints *seriously*. Hystersisters website was an excellent resource, for options, and questions for me to ask. He was so impressed with how prepared I was, that he agreed to let me skip the steps normally taken, and have the surgery. (I had had a tubal ligation a decade before that, with tons of issues in between. I did NOT want an IUD, more minimal surgery, etc. I DID want to keep my ovaries, but have everything else out. It was the best choice for me, and I've never regretted it one day since.) I specifically asked him "how many of this type of surgery done in this way do you do in a week". The number was large, his training was up to date, and his team was excellent.

    My point is, find a specialist, not just for now, but for the future, as well. He or she needs to be up to date, well trained, and an advocate for you in your specific situation.

    Terri
     
  • Music City Mama

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 31, 2009
    Sorry to bump such an old thread, but it looks like many others have done so over the years too. I just need others to commiserate with. I just don't feel like myself and I hate it. I have insomnia, wake up hot (but no hot flashes yet), acne, random heart flutters/palpitations, forgetfulness, I can go on... Hoping to get through this in the next couple of years (I'm 48 now).
     

    Christine

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    Sorry to bump such an old thread, but it looks like many others have done so over the years too. I just need others to commiserate with. I just don't feel like myself and I hate it. I have insomnia, wake up hot (but no hot flashes yet), acne, random heart flutters/palpitations, forgetfulness, I can go on... Hoping to get through this in the next couple of years (I'm 48 now).
    Welcome! I was surprised to see this thread again.

    I'm 55 now. Haven't had a period in 3 years and I am still struggling with temperature regulation issues. Although, I will say that the "hot" feelings didn't start until I started skipping periods at around age 50.

    But, I never got or get "hot flashes." I just get hot. Hot all night. Hot during the day if the room is the slightest bit warm. Just hot. And I am one of those people who was always cold before. It's really awful and so miserable when I feel like I have an oven inside my body at night.
     

    SeeDisney

    <font color=red>I drove by my WAWA <br><font color
    Joined
    Mar 25, 2004
    I am going through intense hot flashes right now that I don't think I will be able to go to WDW this coming Christmas....sadly
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    Doctors are probably feeling a little unarmed dealing with menopause since they stopped routinely recommending estrogen replacement.

    Does anyone else get "cold flashes"? I was prepared for hot flashes but don't really have those (more like an occasional "warm flash"). But some nights I wake up so cold I don't want to get out of bed to use the restroom.
     

    Christine

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    Doctors are probably feeling a little unarmed dealing with menopause since they stopped routinely recommending estrogen replacement.

    Does anyone else get "cold flashes"? I was prepared for hot flashes but don't really have those (more like an occasional "warm flash"). But some nights I wake up so cold I don't want to get out of bed to use the restroom.
    My GYNs are back on the wagon of giving some very low dose Prempro. It is a fraction of what it was even just 10 years ago. Without risk factors they are okay with it. I've tried it a few times but I feel a bit "off" but I think if I could get past it, my symptoms would improve. My friend is using it and it has really helped her insomnia.

    I do get the cold flashes too. Not as often as hot, but sometimes I get so cold I just can't get warm.
     

    Snowysmom

    <font color=darkorchid>If they say "That's interes
    Joined
    May 11, 2003
    I am 10 years into menopause and I don't think I have had good night sleep in 10 years. Well, maybe one or two nights. I haven't really had the hot flashes but boy could my moods change like the New England weather. My family really enjoyed that part. LOL! That part is mostly done. I have a gyn nurse practitioner that I see who specializes in menopause. She has been a bit helpful over the years but her sleep tips don't really work for me. Now I just want to get some sleep!
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    My GYNs are back on the wagon of giving some very low dose Prempro. It is a fraction of what it was even just 10 years ago. Without risk factors they are okay with it. I've tried it a few times but I feel a bit "off" but I think if I could get past it, my symptoms would improve. My friend is using it and it has really helped her insomnia.

    I do get the cold flashes too. Not as often as hot, but sometimes I get so cold I just can't get warm.
    My cold flashes always come at night and I'm so cold I can't get out of bed. I had never heard of that. Nice to hear I'm not alone.

    My doctor offered some estrogen if I get to a point where I need it, but honestly, I've been shocked at how little things changed when I gave up the hormones last summer (knock wood). I had been on constant oral contraceptives for years for treatment of endometriosis and was so worried about how bad the symptoms would be when I came off. I'm 55 so should be deep into serious menopause. No periods so I likely am. I know how bad hot flashes can be since I did a 3 month course of Lupron back in my late 20's (also for treatment of the endometriosis). But I sure didn't see the cold flashes coming.
     

    Christine

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 31, 1999
    My cold flashes always come at night and I'm so cold I can't get out of bed. I had never heard of that. Nice to hear I'm not alone.
    My cold flashes usually come in the morning. Mainly because I am hot much of the night, have taken any winter type blankets off my bed (although I still have sheets and blankets) but when being hot ends (usually from Midnight through 2AM) I start with the severe cold. No matter how much I curl myself up and try to warm up I can't. Usually only a hot shower will help.
     

    mom2rtk

    Invented the term "Characterpalooza"
    Joined
    Aug 23, 2008
    My cold flashes usually come in the morning. Mainly because I am hot much of the night, have taken any winter type blankets off my bed (although I still have sheets and blankets) but when being hot ends (usually from Midnight through 2AM) I start with the severe cold. No matter how much I curl myself up and try to warm up I can't. Usually only a hot shower will help.
    I guess I should just be happy I'm not having too many hot flashes. The combo of the two would drive me nuts. It's just a shame they are flashes and I still am so heat intolerant overall that I can't visit WDW in the summer.
     



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