people dropping by uninvited/unannounced

[charming23]

I find it okay when it is family or very close friends because they know we are not perfect and the house can be a little cluttered. I hate it though when it is someone you are not that close to.

 

[shortbun]

I hate it and I keep my doors locked almost all the time. If someone, even a good neighbor, walked in my house, I'd have some rules for them and I'd make it clear. My nephew dropping by would be ok. Dropping in with old friends, unnanounced...again, not cool and there would be some boundaries drawn, officially. I'd say, 'look you are a really good friend so I feel comfortable telling you that I HATE it when people drop in, so please don't do that to me again. It really makes me uncomfortable and I hate it!!!'

 

[Callie]

For my grandma and aunt, they live literally a few blocks away. My grandma is usually just sitting in her lazy boy, and can't walk very well, so I let myself in. Sometimes I call, sometimes I don't. She likes the company. With my aunt, I generally knock, and then walk in after she reply.
Before she got cancer, she would never knock when she came over, she'd just pop on in with her key! My mom sister and I were discussing how we missed it

But otherwise, I don't mind unplanned visitors. My best friend came over one day, and my mom had to wake me up. I was glad she felt comfortable enough to just come over when she really needed me

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Normaly it doesn't really bother me to bad but last week I had the flu and this week has been crazy at work and I haven't had a chance to clean the house real good yet. (Think 4 men left to their own devices for over a week. )WELL... a few nights ago I picked up my son from baseball practice and went to get a pizza for dinner. When I got home one of my DH's friends was sitting in my living room. Where all the coats, shoes, blankets, mail, newspapers etc was strode all over the place. I was moritfied.

 

[Saphire]

I have several relatives that drop by when they're in the area and they don't sit into any of those categories.

So where are you from? Do those relatives work during the week? Do you? How can people "pop in" when most people work during the week?

 

[2disneyboys]

This topic always makes me LOL.. I think back to our newlywed days when something I did "cured" my new MIL from her habit of just dropping in and she must have spread the news, 'cuz suddenly, noone on his side of the family would just show it, it was always at least a call saying they were in the area and could they stop by...

we have 2 bathrooms (very little house that was built in the early 60's so the original bathroom (main bath) is barely big enough to turn around in. At some point, the previous owners added on a bathroom to the master bedroom, so that one is at least a little bigger.. anywhoo... not only would my MIL just 'show' up, but when she had to use the restroom (and thats pretty much always) she just HAD the use the one in our bedroom cuz she said she fit better (she is a little large so I really do get this, but it annoyed the heck out of me cuz I always felt like 1/2 the time she was just snooping!) so one time when she just showed up, I talked to her for a few moments & then left her with DH while I went to our room for a few moments to "set the stage" I pulled out a box of all the "teddies" and fur and handcuffs and lotions and potions we had gotten at my various bridal showers etc and just sort of staged them all over the room/bed etc (you know handcuffs from the headboard etc) and then I went back out... well, as typical, a bit later, she just had to go to the restroom, and of course, just had to use ours... boy... she was not in that room 2 seconds ( I know she never made it to the restroom) and practicaly ran into the den, with a bright red face and excused herself and left... that was the last time she showed up unannounced... I guess she didn't like seeing all our "toys"
I still get a good giggle out of that 14 years later!

I love company, don't get me wrong. But I also work 40 hours a week and my kids do tae kwon do, soccer, etc and add in Dr appts and vet appts and just general housework and yard work, and I don't have much "free" time and I do hate it when someone just shows and I was planning a quiet eve or something..

 

[Momvic5]

I must be weird, because I love surprise visitors. I really do! And my visitors are rarely young, unemployed or retired.

I don't generally stop what I'm doing, I just include them somehow. Or I continue on with my projects and they can sit in the room with a drink and entertain me while I work. They're my friends and family, so I know they don't care if my hair's a mess or I'm in my PJs or the house is untidy.

I love having friends in my kitchen chatting with me when I'm cooking or doing dishes. My mom (okay, she's retired) stopped by the other day when I was washing paint off the windows. Her presence really made the chore a lot less tedious.

I prefer it when my friends just walk in without ringing the bell, because I don't like the sound of the doorbell. The dog lets me know if someone's coming in anyway, so it's not like we really need the darn thing. If the bell rings, it's usually a stranger trying to sell me something I don't need.

I like people, and I like company. So I try to make my home a welcoming place, so that people will feel free to stop by and stay awhile.

You said it perfectly. I enjoy visitors too!

 

[Disneyland1084]

In the grand scheme of things............think how lucky you are that friends want to be with you. Maybe set up some ground rules- but a full house is a sign of people hat love you!

True, and I'm fine if someone does it 2 or 3 times a year. But if it's constant and they expect you to drop everything you're doing just to entertain them, it can be a nuisance. I'm only saying this because my in-laws used to do it three to four times every WEEK!!! Yeah, they got on my nerves.

 

[disneyjunkie]

People that drop in unannounced are either really young, retired, or don't work for a living. OR they live in certain parts of the country where it is still acceptable. Here in the Northeast it is never done, unless you fit in to the above categories. [/QU Really??? This isn't the case with my family or my boyfriend's family. Most us still work (my mom and his grandfather are retired). Our ages are 33 - 70 something.

 

[luvestodizz]

It always seems like my house is a mess when people drop by unannounced. The other morning DH had a day off and I was not feeling well. We were both watching a DVR'd show when his mother came by. The living room was messy and I hadn't cleaned the breakfast dishes yet either. As his mother was walking out the door, my parents came in. I didn't even get a chance to pretend to clean LOL.

 

[aprilgail2]

Never had a problem with it myself. We just expect those folks to accept the house is a mess, and I may need a shave.

People that drop in unannounced are either really young, retired, or don't work for a living. OR they live in certain parts of the country where it is still acceptable. Here in the Northeast it is never done, unless you fit in to the above categories. [/QU Really??? This isn't the case with my family or my boyfriend's family. Most us still work (my mom and his grandfather are retired). Our ages are 33 - 70 something.

I live in the Northeast and its done plenty! I have no problem with people popping in--nice that they feel so close that they are able to do that and I love it. I also work full time (and part time seasonally!) and as long as you come after 4 I will be opening the door and letting you in!

 

[teacherlisa1978]

What do you all think about this one? My best friend since kindergarten and her husband and one year old son live 10 minutes from us. We had our monthly game night last Saturday and they couldn't come because she had pneumonia and her husband had a sinus infection. His dad is in the hospital recovering from a stroke and her parents are elderly and ill so they were very much alone in their sickness. I made a big care package of the husband's favorite foods, cookies, and leftovers from game night and had my husband drop it off on his way to work Sunday morning. Normally they sleep in pretty late so I didn't want to call and wake them to let them know he was coming and even sending a text makes noise. So my husband just dropped by, I told him to leave the bag on the porch(visible from their living room so I knew it wouldn't sit there all day plus it was quite cold so I didn't worry about spoiling). I figured if they were feeling okay they'd hear his car and could open the door but if they didn't want to see anyone they'd just wait until he left then grab the bag. Of course they saw him and chatted with him a few minutes and thanked him, my friend left me a message later that night thanking me, she told me her husband was starving and they were low on food so this really helped.

But I still don't know if this was an okay thing to do or not? They've asked me to run to the store for them a couple times when they've both had the flu or when the baby was just born so seeing them sick or not at their best isn't an issue (we tent camp together every summer so it's REALLY not an issue!) but I still don't know if this is generally acceptable or considered bad manners. Thoughts?

 

[Kycha]

My Mil has done this to me a couple of times. Most times I don't mind. But once, right after we moved into our new home, she popped in and brought her brother along with her. We didn't even have any furniture yet. And I was in the middle of scrubbing everything down.

The most recent time she's done this was last year. She drove all the way from PA to KY(525 miles), with her sister and brother in law, to surprise us. I felt really bad for them. DH and I had moved from PA to KY 2 months before that so they had never been here before. What should have taken 8-9 hours, took them 14 hours. We are in a very rural area on a brand new road. It wasn't coming up on the gps and nobody around here had heard of our road before. They couldn't call us because cell service here is very spotty. And her brother in law is a former truck driver, so God forbid he pulls over to ask someone for directions. They ended up going to the police station for assistance. So they finally get here and guess what? DH and I had other plans. We were literally walking out the door when they surprised us. Five minutes later and they would have missed us. Fortunately, we were able to take them with us. In the end, they stayed for about 5 hours, turned around and went home. Crazy.

Yeah, I've been known to play "not home" when my (former) obnoxious neighbor comes knocking...he also would peek in the windows when I didn't answer the door. No sense of boundaries, that one

My Aunt did this one time. I was in the bathroom when the doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone, so didn't bother answering the door. A few minutes later, I walked into the kitchen and there is my Aunt, on my back porch, peeking in through the sliding glass door. Scared the crap out of me. She had never popped in on me before. I don't know what possessed her to do that.

So where are you from? Do those relatives work during the week? Do you? How can people "pop in" when most people work during the week?

What does working or not working have anything to do with people popping in unannounced? People have been known to do the pop in on weekends and in the evenings.

 

[teacherlisa1978]

What do you all think about this one? My best friend since kindergarten and her husband and one year old son live 10 minutes from us. We had our monthly game night last Saturday and they couldn't come because she had pneumonia and her husband had a sinus infection. His dad is in the hospital recovering from a stroke and her parents are elderly and ill so they were very much alone in their sickness. I made a big care package of the husband's favorite foods, cookies, and leftovers from game night and had my husband drop it off on his way to work Sunday morning. Normally they sleep in pretty late so I didn't want to call and wake them to let them know he was coming and even sending a text makes noise. So my husband just dropped by, I told him to leave the bag on the porch(visible from their living room so I knew it wouldn't sit there all day plus it was quite cold so I didn't worry about spoiling). I figured if they were feeling okay they'd hear his car and could open the door but if they didn't want to see anyone they'd just wait until he left then grab the bag. Of course they saw him and chatted with him a few minutes and thanked him, my friend left me a message later that night thanking me, she told me her husband was starving and they were low on food so this really helped.

But I still don't know if this was an okay thing to do or not? They've asked me to run to the store for them a couple times when they've both had the flu or when the baby was just born so seeing them sick or not at their best isn't an issue (we tent camp together every summer so it's REALLY not an issue!) but I still don't know if this is generally acceptable or considered bad manners. Thoughts?

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

It doesn't bother me at all. I enjoy the company of friends and family. I guess that's why people drop in unannounced... They know I'm always glad to see them! If the house isn't perfect ~ who cares?! I know they're coming to see DH & me, not our house.

 

[Hannathy]

What do you all think about this one? My best friend since kindergarten and her husband and one year old son live 10 minutes from us. We had our monthly game night last Saturday and they couldn't come because she had pneumonia and her husband had a sinus infection. His dad is in the hospital recovering from a stroke and her parents are elderly and ill so they were very much alone in their sickness. I made a big care package of the husband's favorite foods, cookies, and leftovers from game night and had my husband drop it off on his way to work Sunday morning. Normally they sleep in pretty late so I didn't want to call and wake them to let them know he was coming and even sending a text makes noise. So my husband just dropped by, I told him to leave the bag on the porch(visible from their living room so I knew it wouldn't sit there all day plus it was quite cold so I didn't worry about spoiling). I figured if they were feeling okay they'd hear his car and could open the door but if they didn't want to see anyone they'd just wait until he left then grab the bag. Of course they saw him and chatted with him a few minutes and thanked him, my friend left me a message later that night thanking me, she told me her husband was starving and they were low on food so this really helped.

But I still don't know if this was an okay thing to do or not? They've asked me to run to the store for them a couple times when they've both had the flu or when the baby was just born so seeing them sick or not at their best isn't an issue (we tent camp together every summer so it's REALLY not an issue!) but I still don't know if this is generally acceptable or considered bad manners. Thoughts?

I think that was quite acceptable and even very thoughtful. I have done similar things for people. Like if I have something I need to drop off I may stop unannounced but I NEVER go in the house! even if they say no problem come in. I say no I didn't let you know I was coming and I don't do that but here is that air mattress or newspaper or what ever it is I have for them and I stay on the porch and hand it to them. I don't mind if someone comes to my door to do the same but don't do it expecting to be invited in.

 

[stitchlovestink]

What do you all think about this one? My best friend since kindergarten and her husband and one year old son live 10 minutes from us. We had our monthly game night last Saturday and they couldn't come because she had pneumonia and her husband had a sinus infection. His dad is in the hospital recovering from a stroke and her parents are elderly and ill so they were very much alone in their sickness. I made a big care package of the husband's favorite foods, cookies, and leftovers from game night and had my husband drop it off on his way to work Sunday morning. Normally they sleep in pretty late so I didn't want to call and wake them to let them know he was coming and even sending a text makes noise. So my husband just dropped by, I told him to leave the bag on the porch(visible from their living room so I knew it wouldn't sit there all day plus it was quite cold so I didn't worry about spoiling). I figured if they were feeling okay they'd hear his car and could open the door but if they didn't want to see anyone they'd just wait until he left then grab the bag. Of course they saw him and chatted with him a few minutes and thanked him, my friend left me a message later that night thanking me, she told me her husband was starving and they were low on food so this really helped.

But I still don't know if this was an okay thing to do or not? They've asked me to run to the store for them a couple times when they've both had the flu or when the baby was just born so seeing them sick or not at their best isn't an issue (we tent camp together every summer so it's REALLY not an issue!) but I still don't know if this is generally acceptable or considered bad manners. Thoughts?

Well IMO, I think that what you did was incredibly kind, caring, thoughtful, and compassionate. I cannot see how there could be anything wrong with what you did. You attempted in every way possible to put their feelings and needs before the inconveniences of your doing them an unsolicited favor. I think you are an awesome friend and it appears that your friends are aware how blessed they are to have friends like you.

 

[NMAmy]

It's very common within my family to just drop by if they are in the neighborhood. When my mom's in town, she drops by several times a week. My aunt, cousins, even my ex-IL's will drop by, as well. If they call ahead, it's to make sure I'm there because they're bringing something perishable--not to give me a heads up.

It doesn't bother me in the least. I had no idea that other people got so freaked out by it until I read it on the DIS.

 

[beaucoup]

My dad drove all the way from New England to FL to visit his sister and a few other people and did not call them at all ahead of time. Just knocked on the door and showed up. I can tell you some people weren't happy by the surprise aspect. They had lives like dr's appts to juggle. And none were expecting company for meals.

I have NO IDEA what he was thinking.

 

[nathalee81]

This topic always makes me LOL.. I think back to our newlywed days when something I did "cured" my new MIL from her habit of just dropping in and she must have spread the news, 'cuz suddenly, noone on his side of the family would just show it, it was always at least a call saying they were in the area and could they stop by...

we have 2 bathrooms (very little house that was built in the early 60's so the original bathroom (main bath) is barely big enough to turn around in. At some point, the previous owners added on a bathroom to the master bedroom, so that one is at least a little bigger.. anywhoo... not only would my MIL just 'show' up, but when she had to use the restroom (and thats pretty much always) she just HAD the use the one in our bedroom cuz she said she fit better (she is a little large so I really do get this, but it annoyed the heck out of me cuz I always felt like 1/2 the time she was just snooping!) so one time when she just showed up, I talked to her for a few moments & then left her with DH while I went to our room for a few moments to "set the stage" I pulled out a box of all the "teddies" and fur and handcuffs and lotions and potions we had gotten at my various bridal showers etc and just sort of staged them all over the room/bed etc (you know handcuffs from the headboard etc) and then I went back out... well, as typical, a bit later, she just had to go to the restroom, and of course, just had to use ours... boy... she was not in that room 2 seconds ( I know she never made it to the restroom) and practicaly ran into the den, with a bright red face and excused herself and left... that was the last time she showed up unannounced... I guess she didn't like seeing all our "toys"
I still get a good giggle out of that 14 years later!

I love company, don't get me wrong. But I also work 40 hours a week and my kids do tae kwon do, soccer, etc and add in Dr appts and vet appts and just general housework and yard work, and I don't have much "free" time and I do hate it when someone just shows and I was planning a quiet eve or something..

This is freakin hilarious! Love it.