M
mrsltg
Guest
Oy! My dsil and dbil have decided to adopt a baby. They cannot conceive on their own and this is their alternative. When they told us the good news I offered dsil our baby equipment figuring they wouldn't have much notice before needing everything. Also, a lot of our stuff is in near perfect condition and I would love for it to have new life. Ok. Fine. Yesterday I received an e-mail....
Dsil has taken the time to detail specifically what of ours she wants. I guess she made mental notes when she was at our house? Anyway, she listed six things. Again, no problem. Then I read the paragraph underneath where she uses the word "clean" seven times. She only wants the specific equipment if it is "clean." She would like us to be sure everything is "clean." Please "clean" the equipment before giving it her. We're not dirty nor is our home or our children. She then states she would also be happy to take any toys we may want to pass down. Of course, they need to be "clean." And she would only like Lamaze or Baby Mozart. GIVE ME A BREAK. In my response I very nicely wrote that a developing child learns from any age appropriate toy and it does not need to be labeled "educational" to be so. I offered her baby dd's IncrediBlock and it's associated pieces. I have not heard back.
I understand she is a first time Mom and you want everything to be just so. I also understand that they are in somewhat of a financial bind and that they need people to be as generous as possible. I'm not saying they should take whatever but we are discussing her brother's family. Clearly we maintain our baby toys and equipment. Clearly our children are clean and they are not dumb despite a lack of "educational" toys. The clincher was her dig at us. They are not as "lucky" as us to have people to give them "everything." Excuse me? Yes, we are blessed that my family gifted us with quite a bit before our oldest was born, however, anything equipment related since our 19 month old was bought by us! This is in addition to all nursery related items. She made it seem as though we have just been handed everything and poor, pitiful them will actually have to make purchases.
This is incredibly frustrating. If she doesn't want the stuff, fine, I understand. In fact, I told her I understood the desire for new things when having a baby. I also understand that they have exhausted their savings on fertility treatments and now on the adoption and they really need a hand. I do not expect her to fall at our feet in appreciation, but a simple, "thanks" would be nice. Even leaving out the word "clean" would have been an improvement. My only concern now is that she'll take the stuff and then get rid of it without using it because it's not up to her standards. I would like the equipment to go to someone who needs it and who will use it.
UUUGGGGHHHH - how she and dh (the most laid back guy - EVER) are related is beyond me. Anyone have any advice on how to handle what could become a very sticky situation?
Dsil has taken the time to detail specifically what of ours she wants. I guess she made mental notes when she was at our house? Anyway, she listed six things. Again, no problem. Then I read the paragraph underneath where she uses the word "clean" seven times. She only wants the specific equipment if it is "clean." She would like us to be sure everything is "clean." Please "clean" the equipment before giving it her. We're not dirty nor is our home or our children. She then states she would also be happy to take any toys we may want to pass down. Of course, they need to be "clean." And she would only like Lamaze or Baby Mozart. GIVE ME A BREAK. In my response I very nicely wrote that a developing child learns from any age appropriate toy and it does not need to be labeled "educational" to be so. I offered her baby dd's IncrediBlock and it's associated pieces. I have not heard back.
I understand she is a first time Mom and you want everything to be just so. I also understand that they are in somewhat of a financial bind and that they need people to be as generous as possible. I'm not saying they should take whatever but we are discussing her brother's family. Clearly we maintain our baby toys and equipment. Clearly our children are clean and they are not dumb despite a lack of "educational" toys. The clincher was her dig at us. They are not as "lucky" as us to have people to give them "everything." Excuse me? Yes, we are blessed that my family gifted us with quite a bit before our oldest was born, however, anything equipment related since our 19 month old was bought by us! This is in addition to all nursery related items. She made it seem as though we have just been handed everything and poor, pitiful them will actually have to make purchases.
This is incredibly frustrating. If she doesn't want the stuff, fine, I understand. In fact, I told her I understood the desire for new things when having a baby. I also understand that they have exhausted their savings on fertility treatments and now on the adoption and they really need a hand. I do not expect her to fall at our feet in appreciation, but a simple, "thanks" would be nice. Even leaving out the word "clean" would have been an improvement. My only concern now is that she'll take the stuff and then get rid of it without using it because it's not up to her standards. I would like the equipment to go to someone who needs it and who will use it.
UUUGGGGHHHH - how she and dh (the most laid back guy - EVER) are related is beyond me. Anyone have any advice on how to handle what could become a very sticky situation?
. I was dictated to for months prior. She even went so far as to have a friend print a list of desired gifts (specific gift certificates in specific amounts) to be mailed to her guest list because I wouldn't include them in the shower invite.
