Paying for the person behind you in a drive-thru

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If it's supposed to be a kind gesture, there should never be any sense of obligation. I certainly wouldn't object to anyone who might be thinking it as a special treat but not making that much money to accept that someone else paid something and just be happy that a small expense was spared.

Yup covered that sense of obligation already in a previous post

You're not under any obligation to offer to pay no matter how grateful you are feeling for your order being paid.

 

[Cheburashka]

It finally happened to me today...the car in front of me at Starbucks paid for my drink. When the barista told me, I was pleasantly surprised and offered to pay for the car behind me. He hesitated then said that it was a lot and was in the range of $14. I ended up not paying for the car behind me since I had planned on paying for my drink which would've cost me a little more than $5. I did feel bad that I didn't pay it forward but didn't feel comfortable almost tripling the amount I had anticipated paying. What would you have done?

I would have felt a bit uncomfortable about a stranger paying for me, and I would not have paid for someone else's regardless of the cost. I really don't get this fad as a supposed act of kindness. Anyone in the Starbucks line is there because they can afford to pay. If you want to really pay it forward, donate money to a food bank, so your gift will get to someone who actually needs it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Anyone in the Starbucks line is there because they can afford to pay.

I have gift cards to starbucks given to me by family members I can reasonably assume that out of the millions of customers that Starbucks gets in a day someone somewhere out there also has gift cards to there. Surely it would be prudent to not make assumptions on affordability, wouldn't it? I suppose not

 

[CdnCarrie]

I’ve said this before and got negative feedback from it but I’m not a fan of these things.
Sure it’s cool and people will appreciate it having their meal paid for but I would rather give money to a person in need - homeless shelter or the sort - than a random person in a SUV in a Tim Horton drive through.
I’m much more likely to give money to a panhandler than the person behind me in line.

 

[Cheburashka]

The idea is those little acts add up to something big.

Except that they don't. Paying for someone who can already afford the food anyway (they wouldn't be in the line if they couldn't afford that $5 coffee) isn't contributing anything meaningful. If 100 people do that, it still isn't meaningful or helpful. It actually reduces the amount of money spent on genuinely needed charity, if people feel they are already doing their part by occasionally picking up the coffee tab of fellow members of the middle class, instead of donating money to worthy organizations that help those who are really in need.

 

[pens4821]

I always break the chain. Instead of paying for the car behind me, I use the money I was going to pay for my drink and tip the barista with that instead. If I have the cash on hand I will double the amount for the tip. I usually only get a Venti Iced Tea so that's around $4.

I feel the barista's probably need the $4-8 dollars more than the person who is ordering their drink behind me needs whatever they're spending.

This is awesome of you from a customer service person perspective. While a little different, I’m a waiter and a lot of us dread when one of our tables gets their check paid for from another guest out of kindness. Yeah it’s nice, but most the time that server ends up not getting tipped. The person paying the check will tip their server (oddly it’s rarely someone in the same section) normally but not the one who they picked up the check. The person who gets the free meal probably just doesn’t think about it. I’d say much more often than not that second server loses out. There are the odd times both people do tip, but I usually make a point of telling the table that I got tipped if they are getting theirs free. Sometimes they still tip.

I know this might sound selfish but we are there to make money yeah it’s nice of you but you’re hurting the person working.

 

[Imzadi]

I feel like pay it forward doesn’t have to be immediate or even the same exact thing. It’s a random act of kindness.

I agree. OP, just save paying for someone else for another time. IF you even want to do that. And pay what you want. I'm sure the person ahead of you wouldn't have wanted you to feel obligated, or to pay more than you are comfortable with giving.

I do not need or want someone to pay for my coffee. I'd rather they give it to a charitable cause or help me out in my time of need. For example, if they saw me having a bad day, etc. The anonymity of the drive through line just sort of takes away from the act of kindness IMO.

A few times, I've paid for the couple of groceries of an elderly person in line in front or back of me. Many elderly are on a fixed budget, trying to make due with their social security benefits each month. And what they are buying is only food staples, like a carton of milk and a loaf of bread. I've seen people do a random act of kindness for my mom. It really made her day. I like to think I'm paying it forward for someone else's mom or dad.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Except that they don't. Paying for someone who can already afford the food anyway (they wouldn't be in the line if they couldn't afford that $5 coffee) isn't contributing anything meaningful. If 100 people do that, it still isn't meaningful or helpful. It actually reduces the amount of money spent on genuinely needed charity, if people feel they are doing their part by occasionally picking up the coffee tab of fellow members of the middle class, instead of donating money to those who are really in need.

this.
Take that money and buy canned goods for a local food bank instead.
No need to buy stuff for others - just be kind and friendly.

 

[Cheburashka]

I have gift cards to starbucks given to me by family members I can reasonably assume that out of the millions of customers that Starbucks gets in a day someone somewhere out there also has gift cards to there. Surely it would be prudent to not make assumptions on affordability, wouldn't it? I suppose not

So the family member of a hungry person is going to deal with that by giving them a Starbucks gift card? GMAB.

If you want to help the needy, do it by donating to a reputable organization that helps the needy. And that isn't Starbucks.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This is awesome of you from a customer service person perspective. While a little different, I’m a waiter and a lot of us dread when one of our tables gets their check paid for from another guest out of kindness. Yeah it’s nice, but most the time that server ends up not getting tipped. The person paying the check will tip their server (oddly it’s rarely someone in the same section) normally but not the one who they picked up the check. The person who gets the free meal probably just doesn’t think about it. I’d say much more often than not that second server loses out. There are the odd times both people do tip, but I usually make a point of telling the table that I got tipped if they are getting theirs free. Sometimes they still tip.

A few months ago we were out at breakfast with my husband, one of my sister-in-law's, my mother-in-law and my step-father-in-law.

My step-father-in-law is retired Navy and runs into other service members all the time. Usually they get to chatting. Well this one gentleman saw my step-father-in-law's Navy hat (which he wears a lot) and stopped by the table to talk. They talk ship talk (like which ship they were on, when they served, etc) and then the guy left. Later on when it was time for the check (we were splitting 3-way) the waitress said a man had paid for our tab. We were all flabbergasted but quite thankful. Step-father-in-law describes the gentleman who stopped at our table to the waitress and yup it was him. They specifically asked if he paid for the tip for our waitress and yes he did but they still left some on the table just in case. But you're absolutely right when your meal is paid at a restaurant the "who gets the tip, was the tip paid" is probably lost in the moment for most people this happens to.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

So the family member of a hungry person is going to deal with that by giving them a Starbucks gift card? GMAB. I deal with reality, not fantasy. If you want to help the needy, do it by donating to a reputable organization that helps the needy. And that isn't Starbucks.

I responded because you said: "Anyone in the Starbucks line is there because they can afford to pay." You weren't talking about hungry people. It's simply an assumption you and others make that somehow because someone is at Starbucks that means they can afford whatever the cost is and therefore doesn't need anyone paying for their tab. I don't buy things at Starbucks because they are too pricey for me and their coffee is not to my liking, but if I had a gift card to starbucks well guess where I'll be spending that gift card at...darn those store-branded gift cards. To some it can be a treat, like they normally can't afford it and someone gave them it, or they got it as a prize. I was once given a $10 starbucks gift card at work..dunno why they gave starbucks but it was across the street that's my only assumption. I was making under $7 an hour at that time (yeah wasn't making enough to afford starbucks).

I'm not talking about helping the needy, frankly you do whatever you want to do. I was only speaking about associating place (Starbucks) with someone's means and withholding your gesture of kindness (I say that ironically) due to that. I don't think anyone needs to feel like they have to pay for someone's order behind them regardless of what place it is but it's a bit to pass judgment on people when you're talking about doing an act...of kindness

 

[bcla]

I would have felt a bit uncomfortable about a stranger paying for me, and I would not have paid for someone else's regardless of the cost. I really don't get this fad as a supposed act of kindness. Anyone in the Starbucks line is there because they can afford to pay. If you want to really pay it forward, donate money to a food bank, so your gift will get to someone who actually needs it.

My contention is that it's a small expense that most can afford some time or another. However, I do remember what it's like to be unemployed, or once when I was on furlough. I might still get that cup of coffee (and Starbucks isn't my fav) but if someone helped pay for it I might accept the kind gesture and give thanks for saving that $2.50 (or whatever) that I could save to buy groceries.

Heck - I've seen homeless people at a Starbucks buying coffee with the money they got panhandling.

 

[Cheburashka]

Heck - I've seen homeless people at a Starbucks buying coffee with the money they got panhandling.

Some panhandlers make good money, more than some people who work for a living.

 

[bcla]

This is awesome of you from a customer service person perspective. While a little different, I’m a waiter and a lot of us dread when one of our tables gets their check paid for from another guest out of kindness. Yeah it’s nice, but most the time that server ends up not getting tipped. The person paying the check will tip their server (oddly it’s rarely someone in the same section) normally but not the one who they picked up the check. The person who gets the free meal probably just doesn’t think about it. I’d say much more often than not that second server loses out. There are the odd times both people do tip, but I usually make a point of telling the table that I got tipped if they are getting theirs free. Sometimes they still tip.

I know this might sound selfish but we are there to make money yeah it’s nice of you but you’re hurting the person working.

I've actually had a few cases where a server (for whatever reason) comped us. It was usually something pretty minor though. Once I was just having a beer alone, although the place also had chips and salsa that was usually complimentary. I was at the bar, and the bartender said that it was on the house for some reason. I don't think it was because anyone else offered to pay. Another time was at this combination coffee place with banking. My kid saw the hot chocolate on the menu, but I wasn't going to spend the $3.50 or so on it. But the employee noticed us and offered to serve us one for one of the freebies she got as an employer. In both cases I at least left a tip. I'd normally tip a dollar for the beer, but in this case I made it $2. And for the hot chocolate I asked about tipping and was told they weren't allowed to take it at the counter (no tip jar strangely enough), but if I left it on the table all tips would be pooled.

Still - I keep on thinking of a commercial for a hotel chain where breakfast is provided. It shows an employee of the hotel going up to a woman (who is obviously being hit on) where she said it's from a couple of male customers. Obviously meant to be silly given that they weren't paying for anything.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

@Cheburashka why the laughing to those posts I didn't think what they said was funny

 

[Heigh-Ho]

I don't like the pressure we feel to pay in a chain, I agree with others about that.

I think the author of the thread meant well and was just caught off guard because of what it ended up being in the total, I read a page or two back that they normally don't order that much themselves and assumed it was like that for the person behind them.

If I had to do it over again I would have just said to the cashier at the window 'oh that was nice of them' and moved on. Some other time I would remembered how it felt for someone to extend that thought to me and would figure out some way to make someone else potentially feel that way. I don't think the author of the thread did anything wrong just probably flustered in the moment, it happens

 

[kanerf]

This has happened to me and I reciprocated. I do think that like me the folks doing this are doing so because of a Starbucks points promotion and not to be altruistic.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I don't like the pressure we feel to pay in a chain, I agree with others about that.

I think the author of the thread meant well and was just caught off guard because of what it ended up being in the total, I read a page or two back that they normally don't order that much themselves and assumed it was like that for the person behind them.

If I had to do it over again I would have just said to the cashier at the window 'oh that was nice of them' and moved on. Some other time I would remembered how it felt for someone to extend that thought to me and would figure out some way to make someone else potentially feel that way. I don't think the author of the thread did anything wrong just probably flustered in the moment, it happens

I think you summed up my feelings better than I did!

Reading everyone's comments, next time I am going to say thank you and give the barista the amount that I would have paid as a tip if it ever happens again. Looking back, I should have given the $5 to the barista as a tip but I was definitely flustered by the whole thing. I didn't even think to dig in my wallet for a cash tip because I'm so used to paying with the app. I think the barista could tell I was flustered because he tried to make me feel better and said it was okay, he would've totally done the same thing.

 

[sam_gordon]

All those who say the people behind you don't need you to pay for their meal...

Do you only give gifts to people who NEED the gift? You never give a gift just to make someone else happy? Are you the ones who always give socks and underwear to the kids at their birthday/holiday?

I know I've paid for the people behind me, can't remember if anyone has paid for me. It has nothing to do with whether they need it or not. It has nothing to do with making/continuing a chain. I'll never know if the person behind me "broke" it, or if it goes on for the next 200 cars. I don't really care. I do it to hopefully make someone's day just a little better. Maybe they just got some bad news (doesn't have to be money related). Maybe they got some good news. I don't care. All of the angst because someone does something nice is a shame.

 

[RedAngie]

Some panhandlers make good money, more than some people who work for a living.

There have been stories about panhandlers at prime locations “working” a few hours per day and making good money. Enough for a new car and nice apartment in a desirable location far from their “job.”