Pathalogical liars and relationships

[Gail T AGAIN]

I like this guy but he is a pathalogical liar. I catch him to many times, we are both 45, I have been married once, he has been married twice. I want to trust him cause I care but I am finding it hard to go along with all his lies. What can I do, people tell me to find another relationship, easier said than done, I am afraid of being alone for the rest of my life.

 

[glo]

Hugs....I don't have the answers for you. Remember that people do not change overnight and that it maybe something you can not change about him. Then it has to be something you can accept. Hugs

 

[holycow]

Gail T...I know your afraid of being alone, but you need to respect yourself more! You deserve better!....He has already been married 2 times you don't want to go through the mess and be #3.
Please love and respect yourself enough and others will naturally be drawn to you. Just don't settle.

Take care and best wishes whatever you decide!
Holycow

 

[Joanne M]

As someone in your age group, who has been in a similar situation, I would say it is not too late to find someone else to spend your life with. You need to take care of yourself! You deserve better than to be with someone you can't trust. Even being alone is better than being in a stressful relationship. I know how scary it is to feel alone, too. There is someone out there for you, someone you can trust and feel comfortable with.

You also sound like you could use some outside support. Have you thought about counseling? It can be a real help when you find yourself in this type of situation.

It is probably going to be easier on you to start distancing yourself from this person now, rather than later when you are even more deeply involved. It doesn't mean you can't remain friends and see each other sometimes. I would try to avoid becoming too emotionally involved or dependent on his company. Keep your eyes open.....and play "Someday My Prince Will Come." That's what I did and it worked!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We become caught up in pain/anger/frustration so we don't have to move on because we don't wanna or feel like we can't.
Example...I need to clean the basement so I do all the laundry instead and then agonize over the basement not being done.
You know he is a liar, then he lies, and you are hurt by it. It has become familiar to you.
I suppose to really sort it out you could try to accept he is a liar and don't let yourself be hurt by his lies. You may get a clearer picture of your situation that way.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[EROS]

GAIL, there are two ESSENTIAL qualities for any meaningful relationship:

TRUST AND RESPECT

If you choose to remain with someone whom you can't trust, you're destined to be in a great deal of pain. Some people DO accept such a compromise to avoid loneliness, but the price is INCREDIBLY high.

All my best,

 

[Ajax]

Better to live alone than live with a liar, Gail.
I worked in the mental health field for fourteen years, and dealt with the more extreme cases. A pathological liar will tell you anything to gain your trust and approval. And they rarely back down when confronted. It can become ugly, and dangerous. I'd walk.
BTW, I've read your posts before. I think you deserve better!

 

[crazyme5kids]

Been there done that. Run don't walk, and don't look back. If you stay it will be nothing but heartache.