This girl deserved a broken nose because she teased someone about a sports team?
I can't believe grown adults would think this. Hitting first is not the right thing. Hitting a girl is not the right thing. Telling a teacher or parent would be the right thing. And schools today are much tougher on bullies than ever before. Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying.
This may be because I am old fashioned, but I always tell my son to avoid physical conflict whenever possible, and girls especially are off limits. You see, I want my son to understand that if his wife or girlfriend were to get in his face and scream at him, it is not okay to hit her. Law enforcement and society do not look kindly on the "wife beater" mentality.
You may not agree with the way the OP handled the situation, but your shock, and calling her decision to ground him "ridiculous" is ridiculous. She made a decision that she felt was best for her child. She is probably trying to raise a civilized child.
With that kind of advice, I hope you won't be surprised when your kids end up in a juvenile detention center for "taking no prisoners."
Huh? I don't think my kid is "brainwashed" because he has been told by the school, and by me, that he is to inform a teacher, adult or me if he is being bullied. In fact, I would consider that "sticking up for himself".
So completely wrong in every possible way. We do not live in a vigilante society where we attack others. We have laws(code of conduct - for schools) that if followed, keep us relatively safe. A bully does not "attack more" if their behavior is relayed to a responsible adult. In fact, the opposite generally occurs. And others do not join in with the bully and become bullies themselves because of a student doing the responsible thing. For me, the above comment was the most bizarre and uninformed comment of this entire thread.
Well, I probably won't be the most popular person on this thread, but... what is wrong with you people?
This girl deserved a broken nose because she teased someone about a sports team?
Hitting first is not the right thing. Hitting a girl is not the right thing. Telling a teacher or parent would be the right thing. And schools today are much tougher on bullies than ever before. Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying.
This may be because I am old fashioned, but I always tell my son to avoid physical conflict whenever possible, and girls especially are off limits. You see, I want my son to understand that if his wife or girlfriend were to get in his face and scream at him, it is not okay to hit her. Law enforcement and society do not look kindly on the "wife beater" mentality.
You may not agree with the way the OP handled the situation, but your shock, and calling her decision to ground him "ridiculous" is ridiculous. She made a decision that she felt was best for her child. She is probably trying to raise a civilized child.
With that kind of advice, I hope you won't be surprised when your kids end up in a juvenile detention center for "taking no prisoners."
Huh? I don't think my kid is "brainwashed" because he has been told by the school, and by me, that he is to inform a teacher, adult or me if he is being bullied. In fact, I would consider that "sticking up for himself".
So completely wrong in every possible way. We do not live in a vigilante society where we attack others. We have laws(code of conduct - for schools) that if followed, keep us relatively safe. A bully does not "attack more" if their behavior is relayed to a responsible adult. In fact, the opposite generally occurs. And others do not join in with the bully and become bullies themselves because of a student doing the responsible thing. For me, the above comment was the most bizarre and uninformed comment of this entire thread.
To the OP - the way you handled this situation is commendable. Your children are lucky to have you as a mother. There is nothing wimpy about teaching our children how to deal with bullying behavior in a civilized manner. Your children will be the better because of your excellent parenting.
As to the bully - I used to work in a school setting. I also have a child who has been on the receiving end of a few isolated bullying incidents. In my experience, I have found almost always that bullies are scared (and sometimes abused or neglected) kids. There is a reason they behave the way they do. It is because they have extremely low self esteem. I know many on this thread will find me wimpy or "living in la-la land" for saying this, but often times showing the bully kindness or listening to them goes a very long way in curbing their behavior. I speak from personal experience.
14 years old is old enough to know better, her badgering and bulling has led to her having a broken nose and that is exactly what the brat deserved.
Well, I probably won't be the most popular person on this thread, but... what is wrong with you people?
This girl deserved a broken nose because she teased someone about a sports team?
Hitting first is not the right thing. Hitting a girl is not the right thing. Telling a teacher or parent would be the right thing. And schools today are much tougher on bullies than ever before. Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying.
This may be because I am old fashioned, but I always tell my son to avoid physical conflict whenever possible, and girls especially are off limits. You see, I want my son to understand that if his wife or girlfriend were to get in his face and scream at him, it is not okay to hit her. Law enforcement and society do not look kindly on the "wife beater" mentality.
You may not agree with the way the OP handled the situation, but your shock, and calling her decision to ground him "ridiculous" is ridiculous. She made a decision that she felt was best for her child. She is probably trying to raise a civilized child.
With that kind of advice, I hope you won't be surprised when your kids end up in a juvenile detention center for "taking no prisoners."
Huh? I don't think my kid is "brainwashed" because he has been told by the school, and by me, that he is to inform a teacher, adult or me if he is being bullied. In fact, I would consider that "sticking up for himself".
So completely wrong in every possible way. We do not live in a vigilante society where we attack others. We have laws(code of conduct - for schools) that if followed, keep us relatively safe. A bully does not "attack more" if their behavior is relayed to a responsible adult. In fact, the opposite generally occurs. And others do not join in with the bully and become bullies themselves because of a student doing the responsible thing. For me, the above comment was the most bizarre and uninformed comment of this entire thread.
To the OP - the way you handled this situation is commendable. Your children are lucky to have you as a mother. There is nothing wimpy about teaching our children how to deal with bullying behavior in a civilized manner. Your children will be the better because of your excellent parenting.
As to the bully - I used to work in a school setting. I also have a child who has been on the receiving end of a few isolated bullying incidents. In my experience, I have found almost always that bullies are scared (and sometimes abused or neglected) kids. There is a reason they behave the way they do. It is because they have extremely low self esteem. I know many on this thread will find me wimpy or "living in la-la land" for saying this, but often times showing the bully kindness or listening to them goes a very long way in curbing their behavior. I speak from personal experience.
Well, I probably won't be the most popular person on this thread, but... what is wrong with you people?
This girl deserved a broken nose because she teased someone about a sports team?
She deserved what she got because she was being a bully. What she was saying doesn't matter. He did not intend for her to end up with a broken nose.
Hitting first is not the right thing. Hitting a girl is not the right thing. Telling a teacher or parent would be the right thing. And schools today are much tougher on bullies than ever before. Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying.
Zero tolerance does NOT keep it from happening. He is 7 years old, she is 14 and probably twice his size. Being a girl has nothing to do with it.
This may be because I am old fashioned, but I always tell my son to avoid physical conflict whenever possible, and girls especially are off limits. You see, I want my son to understand that if his wife or girlfriend were to get in his face and scream at him, it is not okay to hit her. Law enforcement and society do not look kindly on the "wife beater" mentality.
Oh, good grief. He is 7. I can assure you that defending yourself from a female bully at 7 is not going to give you a "wife beater" mentality. That is stretching things a bit much. DS had an altercation with a girl at 7 or 8. He would NEVER dream of hitting his wife. He is a very attentive, loving husband who puts dil on quite the pedastle.
You may not agree with the way the OP handled the situation, but your shock, and calling her decision to ground him "ridiculous" is ridiculous. She made a decision that she felt was best for her child. She is probably trying to raise a civilized child.
With that kind of advice, I hope you won't be surprised when your kids end up in a juvenile detention center for "taking no prisoners."
Huh? I don't think my kid is "brainwashed" because he has been told by the school, and by me, that he is to inform a teacher, adult or me if he is being bullied. In fact, I would consider that "sticking up for himself".
Oh, yes telling a teacher ALWAYS works.That is not always realistic.
So completely wrong in every possible way. We do not live in a vigilante society where we attack others. We have laws(code of conduct - for schools) that if followed, keep us relatively safe. A bully does not "attack more" if their behavior is relayed to a responsible adult. In fact, the opposite generally occurs. And others do not join in with the bully and become bullies themselves because of a student doing the responsible thing. For me, the above comment was the most bizarre and uninformed comment of this entire thread.
How many bullies have you dealt with? A bully will most certainly "attack more" if the kid runs to mom or the teacher. Some bullies see this as a sign of weakness and it just makes them feel bigger and stronger and more able to torment their victim. DS had one, he told every teacher, principal, we even went to the boy's parents. NOTHING stopped it. DS hit him with a football helmet. Kid never bothered him again. We have laws in this country, yes. But we are also allowed to defend ourselves.
To the OP - the way you handled this situation is commendable. Your children are lucky to have you as a mother. There is nothing wimpy about teaching our children how to deal with bullying behavior in a civilized manner. Your children will be the better because of your excellent parenting.
As to the bully - I used to work in a school setting. I also have a child who has been on the receiving end of a few isolated bullying incidents. In my experience, I have found almost always that bullies are scared (and sometimes abused or neglected) kids. There is a reason they behave the way they do. It is because they have extremely low self esteem. I know many on this thread will find me wimpy or "living in la-la land" for saying this, but often times showing the bully kindness or listening to them goes a very long way in curbing their behavior. I speak from personal experience.
And yet, somehow I do not see your theory of open warfare on bullies as a solution.
No. That is one way to deal with a bully, but it should be the last way you deal with a bully. All proper avenues should be tried first (informing a parent, the school, etc.).
I don't know you, so this is a bit awkward, but I do believe that you are lying. I highly doubt that several teachers joined up with the bully against you. I'm sorry, but after that bizarre accusation, I can't take anything you say seriously.
Schools are not telling students to "put up with it". They are telling students to report the behavior so that they may deal with it.
No, she did not deserve a broken nose. She deserved to be disciplined by the school(detention or suspension). I still think it sad that an adult would think a teen would deserve a broken nose for taunting another child. Her behavior was absolutely wrong, and the little boy did not mean for her nose to get broken. According to the OP, the little boy felt bad that her nose was broken. At least this 7 year old child has the maturity and compassion to understand that what she was doing was wrong, but not deserving of physical damage to her face. It's really sad that adults can't see what is obvious to a 7 year old child.
Yes, it does in many situations. In a recent incident with my son, the bully was suspended for five days with the knowledge that if another incident happened upon his return, he would be transferred to an alternative school. He was also switched out of my son's class. I haven't had a problem since. Same thing with an incident a few years ago. I used the proper avenues, the school dealt with it and the problem was resolved. My point is that using the proper avenues should be utilized first. Physical violence should be a last resort if defending yourself from physical harm.
In the OP's case, no. I'm sure that child will not get a "wife beater" mentality form this incident. This is because he is blessed with responsible parents that are teaching him how to handle himself with maturity in situation like this. Now, some of the other posters on this thread who are telling their kids that it doesn't matter if it is a girl or boy, just swing away - that is sending a horrible message to their kids and very well could lead to them resorting to violence, whether against a boy or girl, in situations that do not require a physical response.
Most parents can still figure out a better solution, than resorting to violence. If the teacher is not responsive, then you go higher up - an assistant principal, the school principal, the school board. Someone will listen. After all the school shootings, violence, etc., bullying is taken much more seriously than in the past. No school is going to open themselves up for a lawsuit for failing to act against a bully.
I've worked with several bullies. My first degree was in teaching. Through college and a couple of years after, I worked as an assistant and counselor at a private school. You are wrong on your "attack more" theory. That may happen, but I doubt it is the norm. Your experience was unfortunate and unusual that after taking it up with the school principal, it still wasn't rectified. As I pointed out above in the incidents involving my son, the situation was rectified by the school becoming aware of the situation. In my experiences dealing with other bullies on the job, us being informed of the behavior did not increase the bullying, rather the behavior was halted.
I think it is wrong to make a blanket statement like that. We had a similar incident several years ago with a bully and I had my son include him when he passed out his birthday invitations to the class. At the party, the "bully" was the most well mannered kid there. He wanted to help with everything. He was so excited to be at the party. He made a comment to me that nobody had ever invited him to a party before. It was really sad. My son did become friends with him, and he truly was a sweet child. It later came to light that the mother's boyfriend of this "bully" was physically abusing him, which is probably why he was lashing out at the world. I remember one of the last times I saw him, he had a black eye and big bruise on his arm. It was one of the worst days of my life - having to call cps. Yes, originally he was a bully, but he really was an extremely scared young boy, and once shown kindness he responded positively. So no - "all a bully knows is aggression" is false.
Some schools may not do as much as others or may not be as successful as others, but I am fairly certain that there are not schools that have just given up all together and do absolutely nothing - giving the bullies free reign. That statement is just a "cop out" excuse to give kids permission to respond with violence.
Yes, I did maybe think that. In fact, that is one of the reasons I stated as to how the school took care of the bullying. And no, I don't think this gives the bully an opportunity to move on to another child. Our school's code of conduct is quite clear, and if he is found to be bullying again, he will be removed from the school.
Bullying is a serious problem. Each situation is unique. Different schools have different ways of handling this issue. I don't think any schools totally ignore the issue.
I was went to a school where the head teacher was odd to say the least another child had his jaw broken by one of the thugs he thought needed help with their "self esteem" he had to stay at school because the head wouldn't let him leave. I was bullied by these thugs, my mother went to the head to complain after I was pushed in the road out side school, fortunatly the car driver managed to stop but my "punishment" for this incident was to be put in detention for a week. After this I got told any test I did well on I had to be cheating, in an religious education class the teacher said out loud this stupid idiot believes in heaven and hell and when I was 12 the head told me if I was a stupid as you I would kill myself. I went into that school a happy confident child by the time I left all I wanted to do was die but hay if you think that you know so much about my childhood to make the assumption that I am lying all I can say is up yours. If yur read what other people have said about their children being bullied they have done the right thing they have spoken to the teachers, they have gone through the rigmoral that schools use to maintain they have a zero tolerence to bullying and in the end the only thing that has stopped it was when the victim finally faught back. Punish the bully, kick them out of school if need be but "friending" them does not work. Lastly here is a reason why telling teachers doesn't always work
I could barely comprehend that post due to the extremely long run on sentences and grammatical errors. I usually don't point them out because I know we all type fast and don't always spell check when posting. Your previous posts were comprehendible, however. This one was so bizarre that I felt the need to apply the "quote rule". As I stated in an earlier post - telling a teacher may not always work. If a teacher is ignoring your concerns, go higher up. Also, the poster used in your example does not know for sure what is happening. She is talking about a friend of her son. Whoever is telling her this information may feel this way, but who knows what the actual facts are. 
