Parents that just don't understand....

[ashlynn_j_m]

Does anyone have parents or inlaws that just don't understand why you go on vacation???? My inlaws just give us the look when we plan a vacation, or even go out for dinner....they don't believe you should waste your money on stuff like that....they feel that they make grocery stores so you can buy food and cook at home, not waste your money and eat out....They NEVER took their children anywhere, so when we do it, they just look at the downside of it....My parents are the exact opposite...we went everywhere and they go with us everywhere still.....Anyone else have this problem?????

 

[lillygator]

absolutely......mu Outlawz are just like that...I pay them no mind....we work to make $$ and we use it as we see fit!

 

[disneyfreakjackie]

....we work to make $$ and we use it as we see fit!

DARN RIGHT!!! I feel it's OUR business what we spend our money on ... if it's Disney at least once a year, that's that!! Are they paying for it or ANY of our bills NO!!!

OK, I'm done now!

 

[ktpool]

I have the exact same problem...my MIL never took her kids anywhere, really. Never spends money (gives me toilet paper for Christmas! ).

My parents go with us on vacation - we use their timeshares a lot. They are taking us on a Land/Sea Disney vacation in January - we only have to pay for airfare and misc. (okay, that is a lot, but you know what I mean, ).

Oh, yeah...MIL lives 2 hours away and we hardly ever see her. My mom lives 1300 miles away and I see her at least 3 weeks a year and she talks to her grandchildren every week at least...MIL couldn't care less

Kristen

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I understand completely. My parents never took us anywhere. We also didn't go on vacations for the longest time. Once we discovered reasonable ways to afford the vacations we want, we are enjoying ourselves and making family memories.

Everytime I have a problem with one of my children no matter how small it is, my mom says "It's because they go on too many vacations."

We just ignore her.

 

[dairyou]

Not only do my inlaws not understand, but our friends don't understand

Makes it hard to get a ride to the airport when they say, "Your going on vacation again?" or "Your going to WDW again?"

Ugh...
Deb

 

[barkley]

i think part of it depends on how/when your parents/inlaws grew up. my parents were depression era kids and while we went on vacations they were not high dollar affairs (mostly to family or the beach/boardwalk). my parents also figured that the money they spent on one meal out could be much better served buying a good deal of groceries. i have to say that their frugality did have it's benefits-when my dad passed (i was 19) my mother did not (and still does not some 26 years later) have to worry about her financial support nor that of my self or my sibs.

i think if a person does not want rolled eyes or complaints they can choose not to share information regarding going out or vacations until a "as needed" basis occurs. my mom is pretty good about keeping her comments to herself, but just to save any glances i may interpret as disapproving we don't tell her about our vacation plans until a month or less before we depart. i figure if she is not going to enjoy knowing about it nothing is served by telling her.

 

[Rella Bella]

Not only do my inlaws not understand, but our friends don't understand

Exactly! My question is:
Why do people stay home when Disney is out there waiting to enjoy!!

 

[AngieBelle]

I've read that taking time for vacations can actually have health benefits.

I'm very spoiled in that regard. Although my family never did wk long trips to WDW when my sis and I were growing up, our parents took us all over the country for vacations until we left for college. We even spent a few wks in France when I was 14. Now that I'm on my own and not making a lot of money, I miss traveling terribly. What makes me really sad is that I doubt I'll ever be able to provide that same experience for any future children I might have.

 

[roseprincess]

My parents just don't understand about me, dh, and dkids going on vacation. She thinks money well spent for her is to buy furniture, and she feels I need to do what she does . My mom and dad don't quite understand about making family memories with a vacation once a year. We hardly go to WDW-dh and I only took the kids once. I LOVE WDW, just over our budget for us for now. My mom always gives me her comments, opinions when I tell her we are going on vacation. She thinks it's a waste of money and gets upset with me . Dh and I are pretty frugal, live within our means,budget.
So we go to other places for vacay(non-Disney).
When I was a kid (and I'm the only child my parents had) we went on a family vacation once,to Niagra Falls, for 3 days total. I was 15 yrs. old at the time. I was so happy to go on vacay at hte time! I have confronted my mom on vacations recently and we only had 1 family vacation. She states I had 3 vacations as a child, 1 to Niagra Falls and two vacations at resident camp for 2 summers (4- week camp in nothern Wisconsin) .

I think, at least for some of our parents that grew up in the 1950's or earlier, going on vacay was irresponsible use of money. I know my dh's parents think the same as my parents about vacay. IMO, most of us that are parents now, we over compensate what we didin't get as kids(as of nice vacations anywhere). I was just talking about this kind of thing to dh yesterday.


Rosemarie

 

[Hannathy]

I don't think it is the depression era parents per say because mine were and they loved to travel We always went on vacation we'd alternate 1 year go somewhere next year go to a local lake cabin for 1 wk. Very frugal with everything else but felt us kids and them should see the country. They travelled till it was physically impossible-my Mom travelled with oxygen and a WC. Now my DH's family-who were younger NEVER went anywhere. They went to Baltimore once to visit relatives and went to the shore. She still talks about the time they went on vacation! 40 yrs later. Comparable incomes to my family. When we visited a few yrs ago we took our kids to the Statue of Liberty and literaly dragged her with us, are you ready for this she had lived less than 2 hrs away for 50 adult years and had never been there! So no I don't understand why anyone would not want to travel.

 

[Marseeya]

i think part of it depends on how/when your parents/inlaws grew up. my parents were depression era kids and while we went on vacations they were not high dollar affairs (mostly to family or the beach/boardwalk). my parents also figured that the money they spent on one meal out could be much better served buying a good deal of groceries. i have to say that their frugality did have it's benefits-when my dad passed (i was 19) my mother did not (and still does not some 26 years later) have to worry about her financial support nor that of my self or my sibs.

i think if a person does not want rolled eyes or complaints they can choose not to share information regarding going out or vacations until a "as needed" basis occurs. my mom is pretty good about keeping her comments to herself, but just to save any glances i may interpret as disapproving we don't tell her about our vacation plans until a month or less before we depart. i figure if she is not going to enjoy knowing about it nothing is served by telling her.

That sounds exactly the way my depression era parents were. When we were growing up, we only went to one of a few places every year for vacation: a beach, my aunt's house in Michigan, or my uncle's house in Ohio. We did very little eating out, but food was plentiful in our home. They had a pretty decent income and we could have afforded better vacations and eating out, but it seemed like a huge waste to them.

They are pretty disapproving of our lifestyle. We eat out entirely too much, and this is our 2nd trip to WDW in two years. They just don't get it, but that's okay, there's a lot I don't get about them either.

And don't even get me started on my friends' attitudes towards WDW. It's turning into my dirty little secret.

 

[Sleepy]

My inlaws just give us the look when we plan a vacation, or even go out for dinner....they don't believe you should waste your money on stuff like that....they feel that they make grocery stores so you can buy food and cook at home, not waste your money and eat out..

There are cows, chickens and pigs for raising and seeds for planting. If you can get your food on your own, way waste it on a grocery store?

 

[rigs32]

We're planning a family trip - my dad, brothers, and all SOs - to Poland. One of my brothers has been, but no one else and my dad's not getting any younger. Step-mom tried to scuttle the trip by saying we'd HAVE to take a tour and no one had enough money to go. Huh? You CAN travel without being on a bus with 40+ other Americans... Then her tactics changed to wanting to go to Italy if she ever goes to Europe. Fine, but you'd actively try to get your DH to not travel to the country his parents came from? And dad's been talking about wanting to go for years, too.

So, she's just not going. One brother thinks it's rude to not compromise and go with your spouse. I agree, but I'm kinda glad, since I knew she'd just complain every day we were there.

Oh, and why doesn't she have the money? A house full of brand new furniture, traveling to Florida every year for two weeks, and a new minivan are more important. Hold off on the furniture or buy a slightly cheaper car and the trip is paid for. But she, like many people talked about on this thread, can't see how other people's priorities can be different.

 

[Fan2CSkr]

I can relate! My DH's side of the family, parents and siblings do NOT travel! Its so odd to me because I wasnt raised that way. My family went everywhere when we were growing up. My Mom still takes us on yearly girls only trips. My DH loves to travel and is making up for lost time. My MIL thinks we are CRAZY to travel. She doesnt fly, hates boats and has the opinion that people that travel shouldnt! She is a worrier so that plays a part. The rest of DH's family just think its a waste of $. I get so sad when my neices and nephews ask their parents to go to Disney and the answer is always NO. I was allowed to take one siblings kids but not the others.

 

[Disney Doll]

Every year when we were kids we went on a family vacation of at least a week, and sometimes 2 weeks, if we were driving to Florida. Now, my mother no longer likes to travel. I actually don't know iof she liked to travel when we were kids, but she sucked it up and did it. She is getting older, so everything worries her. She is getting set in her ways, so anything out of her little routine really throws her now. I feel bad for my father because I think he'd like to travel more than they have in their retirement years, but he also won't leave her alone. She doesn't comment on us travelling form the money standpoint, but more form the "I worry about you hen you travel" standpoint. I also think that the next few years may be when I may have to curtail my travelling because as they age, I may not be able to leave them as much as I can now, so I am trying to squeeze in a few good trips while I have the time!!!!

I have a DSIL & DBIL who are like that about eating out in restaurants. Whenever they eat out, my DSIL invariably has to say "I could make a meal every bit as good at this right at home, and it wouldn't cost anywhere near what it does to eat out". Well, that may be true, but there's more to eating out than eating. There's the socialization, there's the "special occasion" aspect, there's the fact that you don't have to do the prep work, the cooking and the cleaning up!!!

As far as Disney, I couldn't care less if anyone doesn't like how often I go to Disney. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion!!!!!