Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[Liberty Belle]

I have a picky eater and most of it is attributed to his sensory integration disorder. Things aren't always as they seem.

 

[lizandjason]

Thank you, but I am not angry .

How can you say that I "led the pack of nastiness"? I didn't even start posting until post 182. YOU are the one who has been doing all the name calling. Not me. In your very first response to me you called me nasty and hoped that my DD would not grow up to be like me. That's rational? Respectful? And I wasn't being mean or picking on you. I was telling you the truth: Before I had my DD I had A LOT of preconceived notions about what I would and would not do as a parent. I read a lot of books and watched my friends and family raise their kids and thought I knew it all ... and I was wrong. Yes, I mentioned your cats and that must have set you off ... but I really did have 2 cats (and a dog) when my DD was born.

I'm sure if we were having a face-to-face conversation it would have been a lot nicer. It's tough to have disagreements on a computer. I was out of line with what I said to you and I apologize. I really should have known better before posting this thread because I do think you're right that there are experiences I've never had because I haven't had a child. And I'm obviously protective of my cats!
So, I'm waiving the white flag!

 

[lizandjason]

Comments like that only breed ill will in other people.

It doesn't bring out the hospitality in most people and will incite issues that are worse than the original topic at hand.

It's actually pretty mean.

It was TOTALLY mean. What was I thinking...?

 

[Bunnyfeather]

You know, I have a fairly picky eater and one who will eat everything. The picky one has helped me to see that sometimes sensitive pallets are born and not made, having her has been humbling in several ways. We are working on helping the picky eater to broaden her horizons. But you know what? I am not going to fight that battle at DisneyWorld. So see me at Disney feeding my DD cheeseburgers and think I am horrid. To me, a magical vacation is not the time to ride the kids about areas they need to improve on or enforce growth. We have the other 355 days of the year for that. I am a bit more relaxed on vacation and they should be able to do the same.

 

[PearlySwan]

This doesn't always work.

And when my son was in the bottom 10 percentile for weight but 95 percentile for height, my concern was getting him to eat, not keeping the people who know everything (and yet have no children of their own) happy.

^^^ Amen sista! I completely agree with you on this one.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Thanks for all your responses! Just so you all know, I fully respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with me or not. It's interesting to see all of the perspectives.

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

A lot of things sound like common sense before you have children. It's common sense for you to only ingest what you need and only the most nutritious foods, too, but I bet you don't do that all the time. Lots of factors get thrown in and all your before-children thoughts get thrown out the window.

 

[ilovejack02]

Now off to the grocery store to find dinner for my kiddos including that picky eater who couldn't be persuaded to try a piece of cantaloupe today. (seriously--refused a cookie to avoid that cantaloupe. At least he is consistent in his beliefs that fruit is the devil.)

HAHA, I wouldnt try cantaloupe for anything in the world, I am with your picky eater on that one!

Go figure, my DS7 LOVES it, I almost throw up at the smell when I cut it up for him.

 

[ilovepcot]

Just hearing the words "picky eater" makes my heart pound.

We live 38 -45 minutes from WDW. LOTS of relatives like to visit us when school is out. Great! However, when I'm doing my very best to play "good hostess" and have *ASKED AHEAD OF TIME* what they eat, purchased the food and prepared it for them, it SUX ROYALLY to have the parents say to me as I'm placing food on the table, "Oh my! So and so doesn't eat that and the youngest will need his put through a blender with reindeer hearts added and some Santaneese oil. Sorry, forgot to mention, my DH no longer eats spaghetti sauce that actually uses tomatoes in it. Oh! You put butter on *all* the garlic toast??? Oh, and do you happen to have some Cheerwine to drink"? Gets tiring trying to be "nice". Fine...be picky but TELL ME!

 

[PearlySwan]

Just hearing the words "picky eater" makes my heart pound.

We live 38 -45 minutes from WDW. LOTS of relatives like to visit us when school is out. Great! However, when I'm doing my very best to play "good hostess" and have *ASKED AHEAD OF TIME* what they eat, purchased the food and prepared it for them, it SUX ROYALLY to have the parents say to me as I'm placing food on the table, "Oh my! So and so doesn't eat that and the youngest will need his put through a blender with reindeer hearts added and some Santaneese oil. Sorry, forgot to mention, my DH no longer eats spaghetti sauce that actually uses tomatoes in it. Oh! You put butter on *all* the garlic toast??? Oh, and do you happen to have some Cheerwine to drink"? Gets tiring trying to be "nice". Fine...be picky but TELL ME!

^^^ Seriously you are waaaay too nice. If the children and/or adults visiting you choose to eat at your place, then the type of requests described above are completely unreasonable. If and when my child becomes 'difficult' in the food department, it's my DH's and my responsibility (and solely ours), to make sure he gets his daily nutrients one way or another. I would never expect a relative to do this for DS, particularly one putting us up in their place so we can visit WDW.

 

[robinb]

I'm sure if we were having a face-to-face conversation it would have been a lot nicer. It's tough to have disagreements on a computer. I was out of line with what I said to you and I apologize. I really should have known better before posting this thread because I do think you're right that there are experiences I've never had because I haven't had a child. And I'm obviously protective of my cats!
So, I'm waiving the white flag!

Thank you for the apology. I would also like to apologize for responding the way I did. We probably both felt like we were attacked.

FWIW, I have found in situations where I said something that people took the wrong way and I clarified what I wanted to say later if I go to the first post that caused the confusion and edit it (add to the end, not replace what I said) that works wonders! That way people like me who come late to the debate don't re-hash things.

 

[PebblesMK]

For anybody who wants to try to infuse healthier eating in their children, husband, parents...whomever, there is a book that can help. It's called The Sneaky Chef (one for adults and one for kids) and it uses foods that essentially have no taste that can be added to other things. Things like baby spinach, cauliflower, blueberries and other stuff. They have purees you make ahead of time and add to the regular food. Barbell burgers have oats and a purple puree that has blueberries, baby spinach and lemon juice and they honestly are super tasty. It may be worth to check out, of course it is a little extra work, but for those who won't even attempt certain things, it may be a good idea.

 

[lizandjason]

Thank you for the apology. I would also like to apologize for responding the way I did. We probably both felt like we were attacked.

FWIW, I have found in situations where I said something that people took the wrong way and I clarified what I wanted to say later if I go to the first post that caused the confusion and edit it (add to the end, not replace what I said) that works wonders! That way people like me who come late to the debate don't re-hash things.

Great suggestion about the edit, thank you, and thanks for accepting my apology! I'd much rather have friends on these boards than enemies.

 

[marcyinPA]

Just hearing the words "picky eater" makes my heart pound.

We live 38 -45 minutes from WDW. LOTS of relatives like to visit us when school is out. Great! However, when I'm doing my very best to play "good hostess" and have *ASKED AHEAD OF TIME* what they eat, purchased the food and prepared it for them, it SUX ROYALLY to have the parents say to me as I'm placing food on the table, "Oh my! So and so doesn't eat that and the youngest will need his put through a blender with reindeer hearts added and some Santaneese oil. Sorry, forgot to mention, my DH no longer eats spaghetti sauce that actually uses tomatoes in it. Oh! You put butter on *all* the garlic toast??? Oh, and do you happen to have some Cheerwine to drink"? Gets tiring trying to be "nice". Fine...be picky but TELL ME!

My DS10 is picky at home, but he knows better than to pull that garbage when eating at a friend's house. He eats something of what is offered to him, and if he REALLY doesn't like something, he has been instructed to say "No thank you. I don't care for ____." I don't even like him saying "I don't like_____. " We have had conversations since he started eating at other people's homes about being polite and good dinner manners. I feel that this falls under that category!
Oh, and even at home, my children are not allowed to say "Ewww" or "Yuck" or "Gross" about food. A simple "no thank you" is sufficient.

 

[overlyspoiled4sure]

I'm really getting tired of my aunt (83 years old) telling me to eat sweet potatoes "because they're good for you". For petes sake, I'm 65 years old now & I'll eat what I please! Geeze. She's always after me to eat this or that "because it's good for you".

Although, now I can tell her I'll be eating those *&(&^$ sweet potatoes because my DGD, in her cooking class at school, found a recipe that includes white potatoes, sweet potatoes & some method of roasted garlic all combined to make mashed potatoes.

Her group of classmates were in a cooking contest & that potato recipe was one of the ones they'd practiced making. Family members were invited to school to be served those contest foods a few weeks ago. Very very good! I am actually looking forward to the potatoes. I mentioned perhaps using garlic powder instead of the roasted garlic sauce & she said doing that would change the texture & taste. So I guess I have to wait for the recipe!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

It was TOTALLY mean. What was I thinking...?

I think the cats snuck in and posted under your name.



(just kidding--I have four cats--one likes to walk across my keyboard as I am typing. AHEM!!!!! EXCUSE ME!!!! DID YOU NOTICE ME HERE? YOU WEREN'T BUSY WERE YOU? No kitty--I wasn't busy--I was just exercising my fingers in preparation to scratch your ears. How silly of me to delay your greatest pleasure on the planet. Those cats can be quite sneaky!)

 

[BellaSheli]

Thanks for all your responses! Just so you all know, I fully respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with me or not. It's interesting to see all of the perspectives.

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

It is easy to give advice when you don't have kids. Before I had kids I was a perfect parent, then I actually had them.

Yes, children need guidance but you also have to pick and choose your battles. If you are constantly making everything a battle with them then you are taking away from that relationship. They have tastes and opinions and I want my kids to feel that they have a controlled enviroment to express their opinions. They know they can do this but they also know mom has the power to over ride them at any time.

As for food, I raised my oldest with a wide variety of food and she ate everything until she turned 4, then she would touch nothing...nothing. You know what, she lived on peanut butter sandwiches for a year because that was the only thing we found she would eat. She is almost 11 now and eats anything. We don't keep soda, cookies, junk food in the house, never have and probably never will. She loves veggies (especially fresh from the garden) and will eat mangos all the time if we let her. Tofu is prefered over meat but she will eat meat also. Edamame is one of her favorites. My second child always was and continues to be a picky eater. Not to mention that the thought of eating an animal to her makes her sick. Do I make special meals for her no but I make sure that there is some part of the dinner she will eat (veggies and fat free dressing are served at every meals and she will eat a ton of these). As for my twins they are middle ground, some days they eat great and others they do not.

My long winded point is, until you have kids you have no clue how it will be and that just making sure to offer then a variety/healthy foods will not prevent a picky eater. As for not feeding them anything else until they eat what you make...that will backfire on you so fast. I have seen my daughter go a couple days with a nibble here and there because she didn't care for what I made and I, like you, assumed I knew best.

Kids are not tiny robots that we can dictate what to do all the time, especially if you want them to eventually grow up with a mind, thoughts and opinions of their own.

 

[lizandjason]

I think the cats snuck in and posted under your name.



(just kidding--I have four cats--one likes to walk across my keyboard as I am typing. AHEM!!!!! EXCUSE ME!!!! DID YOU NOTICE ME HERE? YOU WEREN'T BUSY WERE YOU? No kitty--I wasn't busy--I was just exercising my fingers in preparation to scratch your ears. How silly of me to delay your greatest pleasure on the planet. Those cats can be quite sneaky!)

Would you believe that my husband actually gets up in the middle of EVERY night to feed them their 'wet' food? The 'little one' (who is 6!) jumps on him and bites his ears until he gets up. This is a regular occurrence at 2 am. And keeping the little darling out of the room isn't an option...we can't figure out how to stop him from whining and scratching at the door. Luckily I sleep like a log right through it!
Having kids is not an option for us because my DH would give them EVERYTHING they'd want, and I'd be the 'bad guy'!

 

[lillygator]

Would you believe that my husband actually gets up in the middle of EVERY night to feed them their 'wet' food? The 'little one' (who is 6!) jumps on him and bites his ears until he gets up. This is a regular occurrence at 2 am. And keeping the little darling out of the room isn't an option...we can't figure out how to stop him from whining and scratching at the door. Luckily I sleep like a log right through it!
Having kids is not an option for us because my DH would give them EVERYTHING they'd want, and I'd be the 'bad guy'!

wow, so you (well DH) are doing what you are telling "parents" not to with thier children with your cats.....

 

[lizandjason]

wow, so you (well DH) are doing what you are telling "parents" not to with thier children with your cats.....

Like I said...it's DH, not me! But sure, I get the irony! Cats have no learning curve. It's so sweet how much he cares about them. What a guy!

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

Op, I hope you have a daughter like mine some day.

She eats fruit, chicken fingers, fries, grilled cheese, pizza, french toast willingly. Anything else is a battle. I can't *make* her eat anything. We fought that battle once, that 'eat this or be hungry' and brought it out at every meal until she ate it. She held out two and a half days before *I* caved. She was 3 at the time. People who talk about 'making' thier kids eat something haven't met my kid. She refuses. She will go hungry rather than eat. We are unwilling to cater to her, so she goes hungry a lot. Our rule is if she tries two bites of one of the things on her plate she can have yogurt or a sandwich. Many days she simply refuses and just goes to bed hungry. It breaks my heart. I will not give her crap every day, though, we're at an impasse.

I have tried all the tricks. We have a graden, last year she planted the veggies and tended them. She proudly took her own grown potato to her preschool show and tell. She won't eat a veggie to save her life, though, even though we grow and cook them together (except tomatoes, which she loves). I put foods in front of her every night that she refuses, over and over again. So far we're not seeing any progress. Gosh, I wonder where she gets that stubborness from

Most of us are trying to do the best we can. One of the cardinal rules of parenting is not to judge since there but for the grace of God go I. BTW, my son... not picky at all, he'll eat anything. Same family, same way of being raised. I don't think pickyness is nurture, its nature. Catering to it is nurture. Until someone had parented a very picky child I don't think they can really understand. Its very well for some of the parents here to roll eyes and talk about what they will/won't allow, but they most likely haven't dealt with a very, very picky child.