Parents of the Class of 2019

Caleb's Mom

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 11, 2004
Frustration! I am so happy for all of you who have organized kiddos with their act together and have apps and scholarship requests (& acceptances) out there. However, I am so frustrated, my 17 DS can't seem to pull himself together to even complete apps and write the essays to apply to schools. (Remember the days when we were in college? We just applied, no essays!) He's had a tough sr year with classes and GPA - it's made him QQ what he really wants to do. He had his eye on one private school that even with aid with leave him with over $50,000 in debt.

This thread makes me feel like I am the only mom out there with a kiddo that hasn't applied to a college or researched scholarships or really truly knows what he want to spend the rest of his life's work doing?

Love him to death but he's making me gray! Am I alone?
 

mjkacmom

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
I am new to this thread but have been a long-time DISer. My oldest is graduating this June and he has been accepted to Pitt-Johnstown, East Stroudsburg University and we are still waiting on Penn State, Ramapo and Montclair. I am going to have to go back and catch-up with everyone but I just wanted to jump in and say Hi :sunny:
I graduated from ESU and dd’s friend might end up there. Montclair is in my backyard and my cousins Dd will be attending next year. One of dd’s closest from is at Ramapo this year, dd22 loves taking our dog hiking up there.
 

mjkacmom

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Frustration! I am so happy for all of you who have organized kiddos with their act together and have apps and scholarship requests (& acceptances) out there. However, I am so frustrated, my 17 DS can't seem to pull himself together to even complete apps and write the essays to apply to schools. (Remember the days when we were in college? We just applied, no essays!) He's had a tough sr year with classes and GPA - it's made him QQ what he really wants to do. He had his eye on one private school that even with aid with leave him with over $50,000 in debt.

This thread makes me feel like I am the only mom out there with a kiddo that hasn't applied to a college or researched scholarships or really truly knows what he want to spend the rest of his life's work doing?

Love him to death but he's making me gray! Am I alone?
I had this fear with ds20, fortunately he applied ED in the fall of his senior year to the school he really wanted to go to and was accepted. Lucky for me, dd17 is super organized and focused, however, as the middle child out of 5, I knew this process with her would be easy for me. I’m already dreading doing this again with dd15 and ds15, I suspect I’ll need to be a lot more involved.
 
  • bjscheel

    (Avatar art by my daughter)
    Joined
    Jan 27, 2005
    Frustration! I am so happy for all of you who have organized kiddos with their act together and have apps and scholarship requests (& acceptances) out there. However, I am so frustrated, my 17 DS can't seem to pull himself together to even complete apps and write the essays to apply to schools. (Remember the days when we were in college? We just applied, no essays!) He's had a tough sr year with classes and GPA - it's made him QQ what he really wants to do. He had his eye on one private school that even with aid with leave him with over $50,000 in debt.

    This thread makes me feel like I am the only mom out there with a kiddo that hasn't applied to a college or researched scholarships or really truly knows what he want to spend the rest of his life's work doing?

    Love him to death but he's making me gray! Am I alone?
    There are colleges without an essay requirement, and an easy app. Can he apply to some of those to get something going? Some places with lots of available majors that he doesn't have to decide on now? Tell him there's always cc plus transfer- if he doesn't want to do that he should get moving on some apps ;)

    DD20 had a boy in her class that moved in to his private college in August to begin football practice. Apparently there was a problem as after about a week there he applied and was accepted to the local public and headed there instead. So, even last minute, you can go somewhere!

    Good luck with getting him motivated. It's hard for these kids, even paralyzing, to feel like they have to figure out their whole life right now. I kept telling DD she doesn't have to figure out her career plan yet, just find a place with the majors she's interested in.
     

    tink1970

    DCL Platinum
    Joined
    Dec 29, 2012
    Love him to death but he's making me gray! Am I alone?
    You are not alone! My DD waited until I got home from a holiday trip on New Years Day (the day her application was due for HOPEFULLY her final application) to send it. I keep reminding myself that nothing is set in stone AND in a year this will hopefully be a distant memory.

    Other children in her class have decided with Early Decision and are finishing up housing apps, scholarship apps, etc. We still have 3 months (ish) to see if she was accepted to her first or second choice. Sigh...

    ps-I'm seeing my hairdresser more often that usual during these few months for sure:)
     

    design_mom

    probably more like my dad than I care to admit
    Joined
    Feb 1, 2007
    Welcome, Caleb's mom! I was really worried that my son would be like yours, but he finally kicked it into gear last year -- and took a class that he loved (which has become his planned major.) Until then, I was really worried he'd be drifting. But I got plenty of gray hairs freshman and sophomore years!

    My son applied to 4 schools: all public. 3 in-state and 1 out-of-state school. I think he's narrowed it down to 2.
    -- Out-of-state school eliminated due to cost. They weren't particularly strong in his field anyway, but he'd heard they give good scholarships. They did offer him enough to offset the out-of-state surcharge, but he's also received a larger-than-anticipated merit scholarship from one of the in-state schools, so it can't compete there.
    -- The two in-state schools still in the running are Miami-OH and Ohio State. Both are ranked pretty highly for his major (Business/Economics). With the merit scholarship, they'll be within a couple thousand dollars total cost. (Ohio State is within commuting distance -- which would make it much less expensive, but DS wants to live on campus anyway, and I don't really blame him.) We've scheduled admitted student visits at both (although we've already visited both), because he wants to see them again before he decides.
    -- The third in-state school is University of Cincinnati. He hasn't received an official answer from them yet. Their decision day is 1/18. Up until last Friday, DS insisted it was in contention with the other two, although I really thought it was in a distant 3rd. On Friday, he got an e-mail offering him an interview for some sort of Business honors program (separate from the univeristy honors program, I guess). The interview process looks pretty intensive -- panel interview, one-on-one, some sort of classroom experience -- from 9am-1pm on a Saturday. So 1) I guess he's in, huh? Odd that they'd send those out before the official decisions go out, but the interview would be 1/24, so I guess if they waited till 1/18 to send invitations, it wouldn't give people much time. 2) DS doesn't want to do it. He said that Cincinnati was "just his safety school" and since he's in at Miami and Ohio State, he's not really interested in Cincinnati anymore. And, on one hand, I really didn't think Cincinnati would end up being his top choice, but as of the point that he received that e-mail, he was telling people it was still in the running, so... I don't quite know what to do.

    I'd hate for him to skip the interview if Cincinnati is on his radar AT ALL -- and he did like *some* things about it, and we haven't seen their merit scholarship offer (because he's not officially admitted yet). But I'd hate to *make* him do the interview if he's really not considering UC anymore. That seems like a waste of time for all involved. But, on the other hand, the interview would be great experience for him (aside from getting hired as a cashier at the local grocery store, I don't think he's ever had to do an interview) -- and maybe even all the better if he doesn't actually care about the outcome. Conflicted!
     
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  • soccerdad72

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 23, 2012
    Interesting that Cincy would invite him for something like that before acceptances are out, but I would say it's safe to say he's in Cincy if he got accepted at OSU and Miami. I can see your conflict with the interview, especially if he has no interest in going. My son applied to Cincy for some reason, even though by the time applications were due, he had told us he's no interested anymore. Oh well, what's another $65, right? ;)
     

    mjkacmom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 20, 2006
    Welcome, Caleb's mom! I was really worried that my son would be like yours, but he finally kicked it into gear last year -- and took a class that he loved (which has become his planned major.) Until then, I was really worried he'd be drifting. But I got plenty of gray hairs freshman and sophomore years!

    My son applied to 4 schools: all public. 3 in-state and 1 out-of-state school. I think he's narrowed it down to 2.
    -- Out-of-state school eliminated due to cost. They weren't particularly strong in his field anyway, but he'd heard they give good scholarships. They did offer him enough to offset the out-of-state surcharge, but he's also received a larger-than-anticipated merit scholarship from one of the in-state schools, so it can't compete there.
    -- The two in-state schools still in the running are Miami-OH and Ohio State. Both are ranked pretty highly for his major (Business/Economics). With the merit scholarship, they'll be within a couple thousand dollars total cost. (Ohio State is within commuting distance -- which would make it much less expensive, but DS wants to live on campus anyway, and I don't really blame him.) We've scheduled admitted student visits at both (although we've already visited both), because he wants to see them again before he decides.
    -- The third in-state school is University of Cincinnati. He hasn't received an official answer from them yet. Their decision day is 1/18. Up until last Friday, DS insisted it was in contention with the other two, although I really thought it was in a distant 3rd. On Friday, he got an e-mail offering him an interview for some sort of Business honors program (separate from the univeristy honors program, I guess). The interview process looks pretty intensive -- panel interview, one-on-one, some sort of classroom experience -- from 9am-1pm on a Saturday. So 1) I guess he's in, huh? Odd that they'd send those out before the official decisions go out, but the interview would be 1/24, so I guess if they waited till 1/18 to send invitations, it wouldn't give people much time. 2) DS doesn't want to do it. He said that Cincinnati was "just his safety school" and since he's in at Miami and Ohio State, he's not really interested in Cincinnati anymore. And, on one hand, I really didn't think Cincinnati would end up being his top choice, but as of the point that he received that e-mail, he was telling people it was still in the running, so... I don't quite know what to do.

    I'd hate for him to skip the interview if Cincinnati is on his radar AT ALL -- and he did like *some* things about it, and we haven't seen their merit scholarship offer (because he's not officially admitted yet). But I'd hate to *make* him do the interview if he's really not considering UC anymore. That seems like a waste of time for all involved. But, on the other hand, the interview would be great experience for him (aside from getting hired as a cashier at the local grocery store, I don't think he's ever had to do an interview) -- and maybe even all the better if he doesn't actually care about the outcome. Conflicted!
    Interviews are never a waste of time. My sister worked in marketing after getting her MBA at the university of Chicago, and went on interviews all of the time, just for the experience. She became an expert, and when there were positions she was actually interested in, she nailed them. Dd22 has an accounting degree, ds20 is a finance major, and their aunt is always telling them to interview, interview, interview.
     

    tink1970

    DCL Platinum
    Joined
    Dec 29, 2012
    Interviews are never a waste of time. My sister worked in marketing after getting her MBA at the university of Chicago, and went on interviews all of the time, just for the experience. She became an expert, and when there were positions she was actually interested in, she nailed them. Dd22 has an accounting degree, ds20 is a finance major, and their aunt is always telling them to interview, interview, interview.
    You beat me to it! You can never interview too much, especially as a young person. It's a stressful but much needed skill for life.
     

    MerissaAndMomLoveDis

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Sep 16, 2008
    Frustration! I am so happy for all of you who have organized kiddos with their act together and have apps and scholarship requests (& acceptances) out there. However, I am so frustrated, my 17 DS can't seem to pull himself together to even complete apps and write the essays to apply to schools. (Remember the days when we were in college? We just applied, no essays!) He's had a tough sr year with classes and GPA - it's made him QQ what he really wants to do. He had his eye on one private school that even with aid with leave him with over $50,000 in debt.

    This thread makes me feel like I am the only mom out there with a kiddo that hasn't applied to a college or researched scholarships or really truly knows what he want to spend the rest of his life's work doing?

    Love him to death but he's making me gray! Am I alone?
    I am so sorry you and your son are going through this. I'll share a few thoughts that I hope are helpful. Have you and your son met with his school's college counselor to narrow down a plan? Sometimes our kids will take advice and direction from others more readily than they will from their parents. Calendaring deadlines and a white board with a to-do checklist helped in our house.

    Maybe he is just really burned out?? I know this semester was so busy for my child. I feel like until a few days ago, she had not had a "day off" since...well...probably April. And I agree with a previous poster that kids these days are under so much pressure to "have it all figured out". Have you discussed a Gap Year? He could work and save, or do an "out-of -country volunteering for a year" experience. FWIW I have seen some people caution that if he wants to go to a university but is not ready to do it right away and will need merit money to make university affordable, it is better to not take any community college courses after graduation and take a true gap year so he will be eligible for freshman year merit awards at the university the next year.

    You are not alone. There are a lot of nice people on this board that will have ideas and be supportive. I hope your son is able to put together a plan.
     
  • bjscheel

    (Avatar art by my daughter)
    Joined
    Jan 27, 2005
    Good news! DD gets her braces off in 2 weeks! It's been a long 7+ year journey. Next up will be building up a few teeth, in 6 months. I guess we can actually get that done before college!

    So I drove her into the city this morning for that appointment. Agreed to drive her back in tonight to watch her boyfriend wrestle. Added benefit that the meet is 3 miles away from DD20, so she'll come too and we'll get to see her. DH thinks I'm being too indulgent driving her/letting her drive to meets 45+ minutes away and he has a point. Yes we could save some miles and gas, but I think they are fun to watch, DD loves going, and BF is really appreciative of the support. IDK who's more right but there will probably only be one or two more she might make it to anyway. The bad thing about wrestling (and track) is that there are only a couple of home meets because multiple schools are involved. It's not like basketball where half of them are home.

    For her own self, I think she's getting eager for the soccer season to start! She's started running at the fitness center to get ready.
     
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    mjkacmom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 20, 2006
    Good news! DD gets her braces off in 2 weeks! It's been a long 7+ year journey. Next up will be building up a few teeth, in 6 months. I guess we can actually get that done before college!

    So I drove her into the city this morning for that appointment. Agreed to drive her back in tonight to watch her boyfriend wrestle. Added benefit that the meet is 3 miles away from DD20, so she'll come too and we'll get to see her. DH thinks I'm being too benevolent driving her/letting her drive to meets 45+ minutes away and he has a point. Yes we could save some miles and gas, but I think they are fun to watch, DD loves going, and BF is really appreciative of the support. IDK who's more right but there will probably only be one or two more she might make it to anyway. The bad thing about wrestling (and track) is that there are only a couple of home meets because multiple schools are involved. It's not like basketball where half of them are home.

    For her own self, I think she's getting eager for the soccer season to start! She's started running at the fitness center to get ready.
    If it makes you feel better, ds20 went to college almost a year in braces, he took an almost 2 hour train back and forth many times. Ever since dd17 got her license, I drive her nowhere! And she’s a senior, and I’ve only been to 3 track meets (home). The others are 40 minutes to over 2 hours away (and I have 3 kids running track this season, dd15 is in the top 50 in the state in the 400). Give me a soccer game any day (dd15 and ds15 play soccer too, lots of indoor leagues for them this winter).
     

    Schilltastic4

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Apr 10, 2014
    I'm so excited to have found this thread (albeit it way late :) )! My daughter is a senior this year and we are in the throws of college decisions and applications and weighing offers. It is exciting and exhausting! She's our oldest so this is new territory for all of us. She did some touring/interviewing at some east coast schools and we're waiting to hear back about their decisions. I am not sure that it will truly impact her decision as the closer graduation the less she wants to be at a college that is that far away. :) Currently her top 2 are 4 and 6 hours away. One has a super great feel and is 2 hrs closer and one had a SUPER great offer (only have to pay room and board) but is 2 hours further. We're doing another round of visits this time she'll get to sit in on a class or two at the college with the great offer to see how it feels.
     

    bjscheel

    (Avatar art by my daughter)
    Joined
    Jan 27, 2005
    I'm so excited to have found this thread (albeit it way late :) )! My daughter is a senior this year and we are in the throws of college decisions and applications and weighing offers. It is exciting and exhausting! She's our oldest so this is new territory for all of us. She did some touring/interviewing at some east coast schools and we're waiting to hear back about their decisions. I am not sure that it will truly impact her decision as the closer graduation the less she wants to be at a college that is that far away. :) Currently her top 2 are 4 and 6 hours away. One has a super great feel and is 2 hrs closer and one had a SUPER great offer (only have to pay room and board) but is 2 hours further. We're doing another round of visits this time she'll get to sit in on a class or two at the college with the great offer to see how it feels.
    :welcome:
    Glad you found us. Sounds like she has some good options. Wouldn't it be nice if the one with the super great offer was also the one with the super great feel closer to home? Doesn't seem to be how it works though! :rotfl:
     

    Hillbeans

    <font color=purple>If you're bored, please read a
    Joined
    Feb 24, 2003
    I graduated from ESU and dd’s friend might end up there. Montclair is in my backyard and my cousins Dd will be attending next year. One of dd’s closest from is at Ramapo this year, dd22 loves taking our dog hiking up there.
    Thank you :cutie: We did get a letter from ESU last night that he's being offered a pretty substantial amount to attend, so it certainly got us excited about it, though it was not first choice on his list. We may need to go visit again and give it a deeper look as it's hard to pass up what could amount to 25% of tuition, room and board.
     

    StephMK

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Mar 22, 2004
    Caleb's Mom- out of my 3 kids, DS is a senior and the only one who knows what he wants to do. He graduates this year and the difference between his search and his sister's last year is like night and day!

    DD18 did not go any official tours and applied at the last minute. She actually picked the college she attends without seeing it. Why? It's very close to my oldest DD and near a beach in a warmer climate. That's it. And she's been to the beach twice since August. Lol

    I have no idea how this will work out in the long run but she hasn't missed any classes and her grades are good.

    It was like pulling teeth to get her to talk about it or research. Yes, we had several "you can live at home and go local". I think going far away has actually been good for her so she has to become independent and talk to people. She is figuring out a major now.
     

    Gumbo4x4

    Note to the ladies who forgot to
    Joined
    Jan 19, 2012
    Caleb's Mom- out of my 3 kids, DS is a senior and the only one who knows what he wants to do. He graduates this year and the difference between his search and his sister's last year is like night and day!

    DD18 did not go any official tours and applied at the last minute. She actually picked the college she attends without seeing it. Why? It's very close to my oldest DD and near a beach in a warmer climate. That's it. And she's been to the beach twice since August. Lol

    I have no idea how this will work out in the long run but she hasn't missed any classes and her grades are good.

    It was like pulling teeth to get her to talk about it or research. Yes, we had several "you can live at home and go local". I think going far away has actually been good for her so she has to become independent and talk to people. She is figuring out a major now.
    Well, if it makes you feel better, I was sure where I wanted to go from the time I was 12. And I lasted a year there LOL

    Maybe your daughter has it right :)
     

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