Parents of College Freshman who are now Sophomores... UpDate 7/28/09

[mamacatnv]

30 days from now DS moves into his dorm.....

The bedding I ordered has arrived and is stacked in the den, this morning he went off and got his mandatory Meningococcal vaccine shot and then to add insult to injury I opened my email this morning and there was his roommate assignment.

He was assigned to his 1st dorm choice, so he is excited, he is on the 5th floor which makes him happy (not sure why, but it does) and he has a name and a number for his new roommate who he hopes and prays is not a Yankee fan (die hard Red Sox household ).

Things are beginning to pile up around the house. He is making piles of clothes, toiletries, momentos etc. With each addition to the pile my heart gives a little lurch.

I am thrilled for him, do not get me wrong, but he is my first child, my buddy and he is excited about leaving. Well, kind of he is also apprehensive and nervous........but, mainly excited!
This weekend his BFF moved out of his room/house and into his first place. The Mom, Dad and I met for martinis and we boo hoo'd in our drinks. We have been close friends since the boys were in 3rd grade.

I was just wondering if I was alone or if there were other parents out there struggling with the letting go process..........I know, it is inevitable, I know it is necessary and all that but the reality hurts just a bit.

 

[madge]

my son leaves in a little over 4 weeks ... August 21. Still seems so far away, especially when I have 2 younger children going back to school on August 7.

We've already gotten dorm/roommate assignments, class schedule, parking pass, tuition bill, and my DS is going to an orientation retreat this weekend. I've been doing a little bit of shopping, but want to wait until DS & his roommate have a chance to talk about who's bringing what.

I'm excited for DS - this is a big change for him, and for us. We'll all miss DS, especially his younger siblings. In a way, I think it's going to be harder on them than it will be on us.

Ask me again in a month, and I'll let you know

 

[mamacatnv]

my son leaves in a little over 4 weeks ... August 21. Still seems so far away, especially when I have 2 younger children going back to school on August 7.

We've already gotten dorm/roommate assignments, class schedule, parking pass, tuition bill, and my DS is going to an orientation retreat this weekend. I've been doing a little bit of shopping, but want to wait until DS & his roommate have a chance to talk about who's bringing what.

I'm excited for DS - this is a big change for him, and for us. We'll all miss DS, especially his younger siblings. In a way, I think it's going to be harder on them than it will be on us.
Ask me again in a month, and I'll let you know

That's the truth - DD who turns 10 the day after he leaves will be at a total loss. Everyday she says "where's Brother" if he is not home for dinner or to kiss her goodnight. They have such a close bond, I know this is going to be hard on her as well.

 

[madge]

That's the truth - DD who turns 10 the day after he leaves will be at a total loss. Everyday she says "where's Brother" if he is not home for dinner or to kiss her goodnight. They have such a close bond, I know this is going to be hard on her as well.

I think my DD - she's 6 - will have a harder time than my middle son. The upside is that DS has been working all summer and out with his friends in the evenings, so he's not been around much. They're getting used to him not being around.

What's going to be weird for us is our Fall break vacation. We took our yearly WDW trip early, so our oldest could go with us.... but, we'll take a trip somewhere without DS. That will take some getting used to.

 

[wdwgirl03]

I'm not a parent of a college freshman but my sister will be starting college this year (at the same school I graduated from! ) It's going to be weird for me because I'm 23, living at home while I try to find a teaching job, and both of my sisters are going to be away at college.

 

[hoosll]

I was a wreck when both of mine left for college ... I bought my son 30 pairs of underwear and 60 pairs of socks ...

My husband and I would always get into a gigantic dorm fight, embarass the kid, then I would cry all the way home.

There is a great book I recommend, called "Letting Go" but even with the book it was soooo hard.

Then my husband kept complaining that I mothered him too much without the kids around so we got 2 dogs to replace the kids.

 

[RitaE]

OMG - I was fine, fine I tell you!

Then last week we got this letter in the mail with the schedule of move-in day. I was looking at that paper and it said

3pm: Parents leave campus.

I had to go hide in the bathroom so I could cry.

 

[MerryPoppins]

Been there. DS is a junior this year. It does get easier. I cried like a baby the day he left that first year. Now it makes me sad, but I'm prepared for it.

This summer, he hasn't really even been home yet. He took a summer job as a camp counselor and won't be home until next weekend. The next day he starts intersession, so he'll be in class all day. Before the class is over, he'll be back at the university. So not much time with the family. We did get him for a long weekend when he had a week off over the 4th. The rest of the week he spent visiting with his girlfriend's family.

His little sister had a lot of trouble the first semester. Now, she almost feels like he's invading her space when he comes back. She looks forward to him coming home, but is relieved when he goes again. Don't get me wrong, they love each other a lot. But they're both used to a different situation now.

DD is a senior in high school this year and my baby. We're best friends. I know it's going to be really hard for me when she goes and she'll probably be the one that starts the crying.

 

[4greatboys]

Your not alone. I was happy for my oldest to be going to college, having his own apt but it's not easy to see them do it. Your happy about and your sad about it.

I just was happy my son went to a college close by so I did get to see him regularly.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I'm in the same boat. My daughter moves into her dorm 8/21. She will be 3 1/2 hours away. I have a lot of those mixed emotions of feeling excited, but also sad to see her leave. I want all of this for her, but it's like closing a chapter in our lives and that leaves me a little teary-eyed. Her brother will turn 10 a month after she leaves, and I get super emotional thinking about when I have to send him off.

 

[phorsenuf]

3 down, 1 to go!

I'm actually with my son now at college orientation. Today was all the parents information and tours, tomorrow will be stuff with the kids (fin aid, student services, etc.)
Most of his stuff will get packed up and stored. He's in a quad so not much room for stuff. They also wear uniforms to class everyday so no need to bring a lot of clothes either. Move in should be pretty easy. Every student has their own bed, desk and closet in the room. They also have a fridge and micro combo. He doesn't move in until the 6th of September.

It'll still be hard to be down to just one kid though.

 

[Just Jan]

My daughter will be leaving for her senior year in approc 1 mos.
Her father took her to school her freshman yea. (if we went together someone would be coming home in a 'pine box' and it certainly wouldn't be me!

I was fime when she went. It was about 3 weeks later when I fell apart, in of all placed the supermarket! There was a young mom in the next check out lane with a baby about 6 mos old in a little islet sun bonnet. Like I used to put on my daughter. She was making the baby giggle. I just lost it! I thought that was me and daughter ( I had such a love affair with her when she was a baby!).

I called daughter when in the parking lot and told her. She was fine and loving school and the whole experience.!

 

[disney1990]

My daughter, after receiving her AA at community college is headed away to finish school. Even though she is not 18 and currently lives in her own apartment, it will be different to have her 8 hours away from home instead of only 30 minutes.

She didn't get into the dorm, so she will share an apartment with 1 other young lady. My DH and I are driving her to college next weekend.

No matter how old they are, it doesn't get any easier.

 

[transparant]

I'm VERY happy that my son is attending a college that he can drive to. However....my second son is going into his senior year at high school...and he's already touring colleges that he'll have to move away to...I'm already soooo sad about this!

Hugs to all of us new "college moms"

 

[CraftyMouse]

My DD16 will be headed to community college as a commuter this fall. I know it's nowhere near the same as having a child move to school but it feels like it to me. You see, she has been home schooled since the 2nd grade and it will be so odd not to have her around the house. Even though she'll still be living here she'll be away far more than she is now and I'm going to miss her.

I suppose it's a good transition for when she moves on to a 4-year school in 2 years when she is 18. I'm looking at it as an "easing into" type of thing. Today she said that she wants to look at USC and UCLA on our upcoming trip to California. What?!?!? We live in New England! How can she be thinking of going that far away! ...sigh... It's going to be an emotional couple of years for me, I'm sure!

Good luck to all DISParents who are moving a new college student onto campus this fall!

 

[luvflorida]

Am I the only one sitting here crying as they read this thread?

OMG! What an emotional roller coaster! Our youngest will be going off to college in about a month. We've been through this with her older brother and sister, but I have to tell you, it is SOOOOOO much harder sending that last child off to college. She is our baby!

Like everyone else has said about their own children, I want her to go off and have a wonderful experience, and spread her wings, and learn to be more independent, and to explore and discover all that is out there, but geesh...there are moments when I just can't stop the tears. I'm really happy for her, but sad at the same time.

My daughter checks into her dorm on August 21st, her 18th birthday. She is so excited, but also apprehensive at the same time. I think what has helped tremendously is already knowing her roommate. They actually haven't met yet, but a few months ago our daughter signed up with Roommate.com, a service offered through the university. It is a secure site where only registered freshmen can log on (college ID is needed) and they can post information about themselves. Other registered incoming freshmen at the same college can e-mail and text each other. It is an excellent way for freshmen to find other freshmen with the same interests, or that have been assigned to the same dorm, or have the same major, etc.

If both of them request each other as a roommate, generally they will be assigned to the same room. Just a few days ago, my daughter got her room assignment and was thrilled that she and her new friend will be roommates. They've been on the computer discussing what each will bring to the dorm, etc. My daughter and the other girl are both in the college of fine arts, and they have a lot of similar interests. So, that has taken a lot of the stress off an already stressful situation.

My daughter and I just returned from her new student orientation. It was a two day event filled with meetings and tours and tons of information to digest. I could tell my daughter was nervous about being able to find the locations of all her classes. We spent the last part of the second day walking over the routes she'll take to get from her dorm to her classes and to other areas on campus. I was quietly getting panicky thinking that she'll never find where she needs to go, or that she'll get lost along the way. In my mind, I easily came up with at least twenty different disasters that could befall her! I just had to keep reminding myself that she can do, she can do it. I have to let go, I have to let go!

I can't even think about the day my husband and I will actually walk away from campus, leaving our daughter behind. Here come the tears again. I really need to pull myself together!

It would be nice if this thread sticks around. It could become a good suppport line for DIS parents of college freshmen!

 

[Kirby]

Been there. DS is a junior this year. It does get easier. I cried like a baby the day he left that first year. Now it makes me sad, but I'm prepared for it.

This summer, he hasn't really even been home yet. He took a summer job as a camp counselor and won't be home until next weekend. The next day he starts intersession, so he'll be in class all day. Before the class is over, he'll be back at the university. So not much time with the family. We did get him for a long weekend when he had a week off over the 4th. The rest of the week he spent visiting with his girlfriend's family.

His little sister had a lot of trouble the first semester. Now, she almost feels like he's invading her space when he comes back. She looks forward to him coming home, but is relieved when he goes again. Don't get me wrong, they love each other a lot. But they're both used to a different situation now.

DD is a senior in high school this year and my baby. We're best friends. I know it's going to be really hard for me when she goes and she'll probably be the one that starts the crying.

I know exactly where you are coming from. We just moved our son to Lubbock a week ago. He transferred to Texas Tech from the University of North Texas. It was harder to leave him in Lubbock for his Junior year of college than to leave him in Denton for his Freshman year. In Denton he was only an hour away but now he's six hours away, not a quick jump in the car anymore. He's moved most of his stuff out of the house and is sharing a house with another boy.

And our daughter is a senior in high school this year too. What you describe about your daughter is exactly the same with mine. She is already planning her dorm room! I take her on a tour of Texas A&M Commerce tomorrow.

 

[java]

ok my oldest is just 14 but reading this is making me cry. Especially thinking about the younger siblings missing their brother.
It is such an exciting time for the freshman. Oh parents I can only imagine how hard it must be.

 

[mermaidlady]

My DD will be going in about a month to college. She will be 1 1/2 hrs away. Luckily the school is going to put on a "taste of the college town" so we don't have to leave till 7. I will need to bring kleenex with me.

We have been shopping for lots of stuff that she will need. She will be in a triple and has talked to one roommate and emailed the other.

We went for orientation 2 weeks ago and boy is that room small. Luckily it is also near the bathrooms. I don't know how she will handle that considering she has never shared her room with anyone.

All this is nerve wracking at times but exciting also.

 

[FINFAN]

Taking our DD from Chicago to Sarasota in about 3 weeks...won't see her until mid Dec ( if AirTran is still flying) Her brother is a wreck as he adores her, and she has forgotten he exists as she is in another world right now.He starts his freshman year of high school the same day she starts her freshman year of college. there will be 4 years and 1200 miles between them. She's thrilled, I say she will be the only one NOT crying. Her brother has mentioned he really needs her for his high school years... I hope she keeps in touch with him, and us.