Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[Mkrop]

That seems a little ridiculous to not tell you the days/times but you have to sign up and then can't get a refund if the days/times don't work for you. Wow, they probably end up with a lot of people's money where the kid is not even playing because of scheduling conflicts. What if when you finally get the schedule, it happens to be on the same night as the kid's scouts or ballet? You lose the money and your child does not even play?

Around here you have I believe until the second practice to cancel if the days dont work and get a refund.

Many sports(baseball and basketball in particular) bc of relgious ed classes have stopped having practice on the same night every week, they rotate each week, which can make scheduling other things like dentist appts fun. Some give you the whole season schedule and others tell you week to week.

Tonight some kids on DS's basketball team will most likely have to choose btw basketball and Scouts, as my friend told me there is a Scout meeting tonight. It is what it is.

 

[C.Ann]

C.Ann, thank you. My kids have activities between the hours of 4 - 9 on a daily basis. I struggle with carpooling (making sure we drive as much, if not more, than others), and trying to get dinner into everyone. Not everyone has the luxury of sitting at a field for 1 - 2 hours, and watching a practice for one child.

You're welcome..

I'm a little confused how all of this veered off in all of the other directions (well - not really - it's the DIS ), but in the OP's 1st post (unless I read it wrong - which is a possibility) it said a parent had to be there.. Not grandma; not grandpa; not aunt Suzy; not uncle Joe; not an adult sibling; not your nanny - so unless I'm missing a big piece of the puzzle here, I have never seen a mom or dad who could split themselves into 4 pieces so they could be in 4 different places all at the same time.. And again, what about the single parent? Can he/she be split into 3 or 4 pieces?

And just based on what I have seen around here, there is no long term advance notice when kids are signed up for sports so the parents can sit down with 3 or 4 kids schedules and figure out how a parent can always be present on any given day, night, weekend, specific time, etc.. If no advance long-term schedule is provided, it's unfair to the parents and unfair to the kids..

How do you tell one of your 3 kids, "Sorry Joe, you can't play soccer this year because we have to be physically present for all of Bobby and Nancy's activities.."

Seems they could at least loosen up the rules to include "any adult approved by the parents"..

 

[Mkrop]

My point is, that doing this only stunts progression. Or rather, it gives an advantage to people who have parents that have the time/availability to always be there in person.

For crying out loud, as a child of a single parent who was always busy because we needed to eat and have shelter (my mom had to work because we did not have money), children who have parents that can always be there physically have an advantage already. It sucks when your mom can't be there. You have to find rides, you can't immediately celebrate with your parent, you have to relay the story that loses it's affect, etc. I was always envious of the kids with parents there. And my mom was there the most she could, but it was still only maybe 25% of the time. I would have loved if my mom could have been there after school everyday to pick me up, to take me to soccer, and to make us dinner. But I didn't. And a lot of people don't, or they don't have the ideal situation.

It sucked really bad, as evidence of my tears as I write this. And I certainly don't blame my mom for anything. In the end, I love her more for all the sacrifice she gave up to take care of us. But I would never take it back for anything because I love what I accomplished in my school life and I think: how dare people think they can take this away from kids today? It would be like a hole missing in my life. I learned SO much form everything about the entire situation.

Plus, it kind of goes against the anti-child obesity movement. It makes it harder to kids to play sports.

Ugh, this whole thing makes me so sick that a) so many are supportive to it b) of the supportive, most of them think everyone is like them in that they too, can schedule things so perfectly c) this only hurts the kids and d) that the people who can afford the time will have the opportunity and those who do not, will not. * names changed because they're not my kids and I do not have the authority to use their real names.

 

[cari12]

You're welcome..

I'm a little confused how all of this veered off in all of the other directions (well - not really - it's the DIS ), but in the OP's 1st post (unless I read it wrong - which is a possibility) it said a parent had to be there.. Not grandma; not grandpa; not aunt Suzy; not uncle Joe; not an adult sibling; not your nanny - so unless I'm missing a big piece of the puzzle here, I have never seen a mom or dad who could split themselves into 4 pieces so they could be in 4 different places all at the same time.. And again, what about the single parent? Can he/she be split into 3 or 4 pieces?

And just based on what I have seen around here, there is no long term advance notice when kids are signed up for sports so the parents can sit down with 3 or 4 kids schedules and figure out how a parent can always be present on any given day, night, weekend, specific time, etc.. If no advance long-term schedule is provided, it's unfair to the parents and unfair to the kids..

How do you tell one of your 3 kids, "Sorry Joe, you can't play soccer this year because we have to be physically present for all of Bobby and Nancy's activities.."

Seems they could at least loosen up the rules to include "any adult approved by the parents"..

Or the leagues could be more family friendly (as most families are so busy these days) and produce a schedule before sign-up. For example:U7 practises Tuesday 7:00pm, games Saturday 2:00pm. Then everyone knows what's going on and the coaches will know exactly what days they are volunteering for. The parents can then choose ahead of time whether they feel this fits with the family schedule.

 

[skater]

I'm the kind of Mom who almost always stays at my youngest child's practices. Still, I don't think this is a rule that makes sense. Many families carpool and that doesn't make them less interested parents. It often means they have other children they're carting around, helping with homework, taking to a friend's house, etc. It just sounds silly to me and unnecessarily hard on families with more than one or two children (not to mention difficult work schedules).

 

[SingleFather]

So I may start a different thread on this, but I wonder how many who wouldn't think it is ok to leave their kids at soccer wouldn't send their kids to sleepaway camp because something MIGHT happen.

 

[C.Ann]

Or the leagues could be more family friendly (as most families are so busy these days) and produce a schedule before sign-up. For example:U7 practises Tuesday 7:00pm, games Saturday 2:00pm. Then everyone knows what's going on and the coaches will know exactly what days they are volunteering for. The parents can then choose ahead of time whether they feel this fits with the family schedule.

Exactly.. I don't know how parents can claim they are scheduling ahead when schedules aren't provided..

And your other post brought tears to my eyes.. Sounds like you had a great mom - one you appreciated, understood, and loved, limitations and all..

 

[sam_gordon]

That seems a little ridiculous to not tell you the days/times but you have to sign up and then can't get a refund if the days/times don't work for you. Wow, they probably end up with a lot of people's money where the kid is not even playing because of scheduling conflicts. What if when you finally get the schedule, it happens to be on the same night as the kid's scouts or ballet? You lose the money and your child does not even play?

I wanted to make sure I remembered it right, so I went online for our rec soccer association and went to the FAQ's:

Are registration fees refundable?
Once a child has been placed on a team, we are unable to refund registration fees. If we are unable to place a child on a team, he/she will be placed on the waiting list. If we are still unable to place that child, his/her fees will be refunded.

and

Will soccer conflict with any other sports (baseball, softball, football, etc.)?
More than likely, yes. We cannot guarantee that there will not be conflicts. We will not move players from one team to another to resolve conflicts with a child's other activities.

When we have conflicts (and we're starting to), we make the best decision we can. For example, last month DD(13)'s middle school basketball team was in the District championship game 30 minutes from home. DS(8)'s select soccer team had a "play date" (two games) 90 minutes from home. DD(5)'s rec soccer team had their last regular season game 15 minutes from home. Our youngest missed her game. We planned that when the schedules came out and let her coach know. DW went to watch the oldest, I took DS and the youngest to the select soccer game.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I bet this has more to do with parents using soccer practice as a babysitting service than what is going on a Penn State.

I know at my youngest son's soccer practice (he plays U8) there is at least one child who is dropped off at soccer practice. Then the parents don't show up on time to pick the child up. So the coach has to wait around on these parents after practice is over. Also, usually if a group of kids rides together as long as the parent who drove them stays for practice, then there is no problem.

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

 

[msjprincess]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

Judging by your signature I assume you're a single parent with one child. What if you had two kids with activities at the same time?

It's much easier to stay for the entire practice when you only have one child.

 

[cari12]

I wanted to make sure I remembered it right, so I went online for our rec soccer association and went to the FAQ's:

and

When we have conflicts (and we're starting to), we make the best decision we can. For example, last month DD(13)'s middle school basketball team was in the District championship game 30 minutes from home. DS(8)'s select soccer team had a "play date" (two games) 90 minutes from home. DD(5)'s rec soccer team had their last regular season game 15 minutes from home. Our youngest missed her game. We planned that when the schedules came out and let her coach know. DW went to watch the oldest, I took DS and the youngest to the select soccer game.

Sounds like the soccer assoc. has all the power! If that was the case, my kids would not be playing soccer, they would need to choose another activity. DH and I work opposite shifts and the kids have other activities so I would not give my non-refundable money unless I knew the scheduling would work.

 

[sam_gordon]

Or the leagues could be more family friendly (as most families are so busy these days) and produce a schedule before sign-up. For example:U7 practises Tuesday 7:00pm, games Saturday 2:00pm. Then everyone knows what's going on and the coaches will know exactly what days they are volunteering for. The parents can then choose ahead of time whether they feel this fits with the family schedule.

I think it comes down to how many teams vs. practice facilities. Yes, for some sports & age groups, multiple teams can practice at the same time on the same fields. But there are still a limited amount of practice "slots". I don't know (at least for our area) that you can put all age group on one day.

In softball, I know you can't. We have four fields (sized for the four different age groups).

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

For many people (us included) 12yo's are staying home by themselves. They attend school ball practices by themselves. What's wrong with it? Like I said, I'm comfortable leaving my 8yo at a practice (especially once he knows teammates & coaches), but I don't think everyone should be forced to.

 

[5lilfish]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

I don't understand why this is a problem. Why does it matter what I do with the hour or two that my 12 yr old is at practice? As long as I get her there and come back for her on time, I don't see what the issue would be. Why wouldn't I do an errand or 2?

Jess

 

[pacrosby]

DD's ballet, on the other hand, would be run VERY differently than DS's Little League. (As would other dance and/ or YMCA classes) She goes to a studio with PAID teachers. Of course, I pay $$$$ for her classes whereas Little League only costs me $90 + equipment - a MAJOR bargain in comparison.

While I have definately noticed that the baseball/football/basketball etc. leagues cost next to nothing I hadn't really thought about why that might be. It makes sense now that you've pointed out that they are run by volunteers. Thanx for clarifiying

I have two sons on a ski team, one who is a tennis nut, one who swims on a pre-team, a daughter who dances 10+ hours a week (never mind the art classes and piano classes and robotics workshops etc.)......... Costs us a bloody fortune but the ability to maintain some control over our lives is well worth it

 

[skater]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

I'm never late picking up my kids, but I just don't see why its so terrible for a parent to drop off a kid to run errands. I do this all the time with my 14 year old. I have 3 kids and am super busy making life work for them. If I miss some practices to buy groceries or get another kid where he needs to be, what in the world is the big deal? I don't need a babysitter. If that was the case, I would leave them home at their ages.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I agree with everything here. First, i cant believe some ppl drop their kids off at practice then leave to go run errands. Even at 12. And yes, i've seen parents come late to pick up their child. Thats awful. I wouldnt wanna be the coach sitting around with this kid waiting for the irresponsible parent to show up! I totally agree with this policy.

12 year olds are old enough to stay home alone. Therefore, why on earth would a parent need to stay? Why not run errands? It's called being efficient.

Yesterday, DD had a meeting with our rabbi for an hour for her bat mitzvah. I never stay for those. I ran to Costco instead. Made life a lot simpler.

 

[declansdad]

So I may start a different thread on this, but I wonder how many who wouldn't think it is ok to leave their kids at soccer wouldn't send their kids to sleepaway camp because something MIGHT happen.

Why are you still beating this horse? There are many posters on this thread that have given you other reasons than the one you have decided is the factor that lead to this rule.

 

[Mkrop]

Or the leagues could be more family friendly (as most families are so busy these days) and produce a schedule before sign-up. For example:U7 practises Tuesday 7:00pm, games Saturday 2:00pm. Then everyone knows what's going on and the coaches will know exactly what days they are volunteering for. The parents can then choose ahead of time whether they feel this fits with the family schedule.

And around here I can see all the elite atheletes and their parents coordinating so they all can play on Tuesday, I prefer that our teams are more fair and balanced.

And they can be family friendly by not demanding that a parent stay for a practice, they could fine or punish if you are late more than once if that is the true issue.

Once again it is not going to help me if DH is out of town if DS14 has a practice on Tues at 7 if DS8 is home sick or has a lot of homework. When this happens, we carpool...carpooling is family friendly. As a community we all help each other.

And sports can overlap, like tonight we have the start of basketball for DS8, and the end of football for DS14. Football was actually suppose to end weeks ago but we made the playoffs. So I could have picked Tues at 7 a few months ago when I signed him up thinking I could be there and now I cant be in two places at once if either of these leagues had this silly rule.

And my DS at the age of 12 was babysitting and staying home alone.

 

[Bob NC]

#1) I really can't believe this rule was enacted by any responsible sport governing body.

#2) If this rule WAS put in place, it will either be changed or ignored shortly after practices commence.