Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[golfgal]

None of those things change the fact that the coach is a babysitter; something you said htey were in the original post I quoted.

You right in saying that kids behave fine most of the time. Iti is those times they don't that cause the problem, especially at those younger ages.

Well then define babysitter if you want. Heck, you probably "babysit" your own kids. They are still in the position to provide child care while the child is attending said practice, like it or not.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And just for Lisa... there have been at least two posts (possibly more) on this thread where someone has said "parents SHOULD have to stay in case there is an emergency". THAT'S why the school/boy scouts/etc has been brought up. Emergencies can happen anywhere.

Thanks for the shout out.

Sure they can happen anywhere--but an organization has the right to not have to deal with those emergencies alone if they choose.

 

[SingleFather]

We have had the parent attendance rule in our soccer and basketball leagues for the last 5 years. At the start of the season, the parents set up a schedule and there are at least 2 parents at every practice. This is very important when you have opposite sex coaches and having parents scheduled to attend each practice satisfies the parent observation requirement.

What does that have to do with anything other than make me thing the rule is a kneejerk reaction to the JoPa situation. Believe me if there HAD been an incident, the soccer mom phone tree would let everyone know!

Shouldn't it be up to ME if I choose to remain or not? Truly most have stated the truth, after about U6, parents at practice are a hindrance to the coach's ability to coach. Not everyone lives their life based on what ifs. Seriously you do realize that you are more like to get in a car wreck going there than something happening at soccer.

 

[undertheradar]

What does that have to do with anything other than make me thing the rule is a kneejerk reaction to the JoPa situation. Believe me if there HAD been an incident, the soccer mom phone tree would let everyone know!

Shouldn't it be up to ME if I choose to remain or not? Truly most have stated the truth, after about U6, parents at practice are a hindrance to the coach's ability to coach. Not everyone lives their life based on what ifs. Seriously you do realize that you are more like to get in a car wreck going there than something happening at soccer.

A rule that has been in use here for 5 years is a reaction to the Penn State situation?

 

[Mkrop]

My DH has coached little ones and this potty breaks etc was never an issue, most parents did stay but if they didnt he always made sure to have enough help. And if a kid got that seriously injured at a practice, then practice would stop, the kids would take a knee, and the hurt child would be tended to, just like in games. Taught the teams patience and team work! If need be one of the asst coaches could gather the kids on the sidelines but my DH would never leave the side of a player that was injured, he would delay practice. This has happened in baseball and that is how he has handled it.

Just got an email 10 minutes ago that basketball season has started for DS8 TONIGHT at 7. So if this rule was in place for either or both of my kids sports I would have to magically be at a football field at 8pm and a gym at 8pm for pickup. Luckily DH is home this week or I would be calling around for carpooling.

 

[declansdad]

Well then define babysitter if you want. Heck, you probably "babysit" your own kids. They are still in the position to provide child care while the child is attending said practice, like it or not.

Your job as a coach is to teach the skills needed in sport in a safe and respectful environment. If the child doesn't want to participate, will not listen, is causing a disruption, etc. They should be taken to the parent or guardian and told they can participate when they are ready.

At the younger ages, some children will often do their own thing. It isn't uncommon to see small kids on a soccer field chasing butterflies, picking flowers, misbehaving or simply deciding that they aren't going to play. These are things a coach will deal with but eventually the coach needs to get back to the rest of the team. Having a parent available allows for the child to be kept safe or disciplined if that was what was needed in the circumstance.

 

[golfgal]

Your job as a coach is to teach the skills needed in sport in a safe and respectful environment. If the child doesn't want to participate, will not listen, is causing a disruption, etc. They should be taken to the parent or guardian and told they can participate when they are ready.

At the younger ages, some children will often do their own thing. It isn't uncommon to see small kids on a soccer field chasing butterflies, picking flowers, misbehaving or simply deciding that they aren't going to play. These are things a coach will deal with but eventually the coach needs to get back to the rest of the team. Having a parent available allows for the child to be kept safe or disciplined if that was what was needed in the circumstance.

If a child can't participate in practice, they shouldn't be there in the first place. If you have to send a child over to the parents until they can behave, they just need to be removed from the team. An ineffective coach will have kids chasing butterflies but a good coach will keep the kids engaged and it is a total NON-ISSUE. Parents do not NEED to be at practices.

 

[sam_gordon]

Thanks for the shout out.

No problem!

Sure they can happen anywhere--but an organization has the right to not have to deal with those emergencies alone if they choose.

I don't think anyone is denying the organization has the right to make up whatever rules/policies they want. IMO, this discussion is regarding
A) Whether the rule is appropriate (because of the age range)
B) Whether the rule is needed
C) What the rule is trying to accomplish

 

[declansdad]

If a child can't participate in practice, they shouldn't be there in the first place. If you have to send a child over to the parents until they can behave, they just need to be removed from the team. An ineffective coach will have kids chasing butterflies but a good coach will keep the kids engaged and it is a total NON-ISSUE. Parents do not NEED to be at practices.

A good coach cannot be everywhere at the same time. With a younger group of kids there will be times when there are some who are "chasing butterflies". Maybe that doesn't happen in the Nirvana where you live but I have seen it in many other places.

I didn't say that a child couln't participate, I said they were doing something else. You only need to take them to their parents once and this will stop being a problem.

 

[Coconut36]

Well then define babysitter if you want. Heck, you probably "babysit" your own kids. They are still in the position to provide child care while the child is attending said practice, like it or not.

No a coach is not a babysitter or providing child care. They are there to teach and practice a sport not babysit. My DH coaches and wouldn't be pleased to be called a babysitter. He doesn't write up plays or help them with drills or give talks about sportmanship because he is a babysitter..he is a coach and helping them gain skills and abilities not to keep them busy so Mom and Dad can do other things. To me a babysitter is defined as someone hired to care for children when their parents are not available. That is not how I define a coach.

 

[SmallWorld71]

A good coach cannot be everywhere at the same time. With a younger group of kids there will be times when there are some who are "chasing butterflies". Maybe that doesn't happen in the Nirvana where you live but I have seen it in many other places.

I didn't say that a child couln't participate, I said they were doing something else. You only need to take them to their parents once and this will stop being a problem.

While I agree with your first paragraph - my son's friends (twins) spent their first several years of soccer picking the grass and my own DD used to dance instead of run. (We dropped soccer for ballet, by the way.)

However, I disagree with the second. IME as a soccer coach of Little Ones (aged 4-6) I have found it far more effective to work with the child then the bring them to their parents. Most kids (mine included) behave worse for their parents than they do for anyone. I actually found it FAR MORE effective to have older kids assisst me than the parents.

 

[pacrosby]

I've had kids involved in soccer, softball, t-ball, baseball, basketball, and cheerleading. NONE of them are able to say what days/times the teams will be practicing until signups are over. They may know practices will be on Tuesday or Thursday, but they can't say which day or time my child would be practicing. How can they? They don't even know how many teams there will be.

That was kind of my point, TEAM sports. BUT...that being said, I'm not exactly sure (talking about rec teams here) that it's completely true that it couldn't be done differently if so desired. Why can't they schedule practices for, let's say, Tuesday or Thursday at select times and allow parents to sign up for what works for them. When the roster is full, just like when you sign up for a dance studio class or a YMCA class, you pick another time that is in fact available. More kids are interested than anticipated? Create a waitlist for another team. Too few? Consolidate. You simply can't tell me they can't make an educated guess based on previous year's numbers.

I will say however that at least in your area parents can depend on Tuesday or Thursday....that's an improvement. Around here parents are often completely in the dark as to what days they are committing to.....often months and months in advance. I know for example they sign up and pay for spring Lacrosse in the Fall.....with no idea what the commitment will be. To me, that's just nuts. And while I'm sure there is an explanation (coaches not knowing their schedule perhaps?), it seems backwards to me.

I suppose if you only have one or two kids and you're all about the traditional team sports it's not going to be much of a problem. But if you have a number of kids who are interested in getting involved in a number of different things (music, art, clubs etc.) in addition to sports, it poses a problem.

 

[CPT Tripss]

why did the organization come up with this rule? Seems like they should be asked and that they need to be honest with the answer.

If it's because parents don't pick kids up one time, a lot of other effective remedies have been discussed here. Don't kids older than 12 get picked up late? Is it reasonable to leave them alone without adult supervision?

If it's "Penn State," why stop at 12? Kids older than 12 have been molested by coaches, boy scout leaders, teachers, priests, etc. Pedophiles will use the actiivity to meet kids and become the kid's "friend." The molestation often occurs well outside the context of the other activity.

If the reason is medical emergency/accident, the proper response is to have an emergency plan, coaches trained in first aid/cpr and parental permission slips for emergency treatment.

Overall, seems like the policy is a poorly thought out, "knee jerk" reaction.

 

[msjprincess]

That was kind of my point, TEAM sports. BUT...that being said, I'm not exactly sure (talking about rec teams here) that it's completely true that it couldn't be done differently if so desired. Why can't they schedule practices for, let's say, Tuesday or Thursday at select times and allow parents to sign up for what works for them. When the roster is full, just like when you sign up for a dance studio class or a YMCA class, you pick another time that is in fact available. More kids are interested than anticipated? Create a waitlist for another team. Too few? Consolidate. You simply can't tell me they can't make an educated guess based on previous year's numbers.

I will say however that at least in your area parents can depend on Tuesday or Thursday....that's an improvement. Around here parents are often completely in the dark as to what days they are committing to.....often months and months in advance. I know for example they sign up and pay for spring Lacrosse in the Fall.....with no idea what the commitment will be. To me, that's just nuts. And while I'm sure there is an explanation (coaches not knowing their schedule perhaps?), it seems backwards to me.

I suppose if you only have one or two kids and you're all about the traditional team sports it's not going to be much of a problem. But if you have a number of kids who are interested in getting involved in a number of different things (music, art, clubs etc.) in addition to sports, it poses a problem.

That wouldn't work because you could end up with stacked teams.

 

[pacrosby]

That wouldn't work because you could end up with stacked teams.

Are you saying that parents of a group of 'better' players would get together and say "hey, let's all sign up for Tuesday at 4:00"? in order to create an 'elite' team? At the rec level?

 

[Coconut36]

Are you saying that parents of a group of 'better' players would get together and say "hey, let's all sign up for Tuesday at 4:00"? in order to create an 'elite' team? At the rec level?

I have no doubt that could/would happen. If you consider how crazy many parents get over their child's sport and how they perform and/or how the team does I have zero doubt there are enough of them to say "well our kids play better than those other kids so we need to make sure they all sign up for X date/time/team".

 

[indimom]

This thread is twisting me in knots. I finally decided to respond.

Do I think kids that age are old enough to be left alone at sports' practices? Yes.
Do I think many kids behave better when their parents are not around? Yes.
Do I think parents should drop off and pick up on time (Or let the coach know in advance when they will have issues)? Yes.
Do I think there should be penalties for those who routinely pick up late? Yes.
Do I think there should be penalities for the kids who do not listen/misbehave at practices? Yes.

Do I wish that at least a few extra adults would stay for every practice? Yes, Yes, Yes.

I witnessed an agonizing tragedy during soccer practice three years ago. Two people (a coach and assistant) would have been hard pressed to deal with it appropriately, taking care of a dozen 10yo girls who witnessed their friend's collapse, performing CPR, calling 911, trying to locate the parents... We were lucky to have four adults present, two had only just arrived.

For that reason alone, I wish all sports were treated like football is around here. Where all the teams practice on one large field at the same day and time so there are countless coaches and assistant coaches available; and there is always a trained medical responder, nurse or doctor on site.

I'm not trying to tell people what to do. I just needed to point out that while rare, these types of events do happen, and leaving a large number of kids on a field with just two adults may not be the best choice.

 

[msjprincess]

Are you saying that parents of a group of 'better' players would get together and say "hey, let's all sign up for Tuesday at 4:00"? in order to create an 'elite' team? At the rec level?

No I'm saying that coaches will make sure that the players they want sign up on their day.

Believe me it can get that competitive. Our kids have to enter the draft every 2 years.

 

[pacrosby]

No I'm saying that coaches will make sure that the players they want sign up on their day.

Believe me it can get that competitive. Our kids have to enter the draft every 2 years.

Kids team sports have gotten down right nutty This is the very reason we steered our kids towards individual sports. Fortunately they've embraced the message and have never expressed an interest in soccer or football or baseball or whatever. We like having at least alittle bit of control over our lives

 

[msjprincess]

Kids team sports have gotten down right nutty This is the very reason we steered our kids towards individual sports. Fortunately they've embraced the message and have never expressed an interest in soccer or football or baseball or whatever. We like having at least alittle bit of control over our lives

Set days wouldn't really work with team sports anyway. You would always be playing the same teams.