Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[jrmasm]

I disagree for the very younger ages. It isn't fair to the coach to have to manage pre-schoolers who decide they are done playing and want to go and sulk or have to go potty or need their shoes tied for the 10,000th time. I would be put off and likely not agree to coach if I had to manage anything beyond teaching the kids how to play a game. If the parents didn't stay, very little time would be spent PLAYING. It would be spent with pre-schooler management. That is unfair to the group of children whose parents have paid to have them learn a game and not take constant field trips as a group back and forth to the bathroom.

This happens EVERY practice and game.

YMMV.

(again--posting since folks are posting universal expectations without regard to age of the players)

Don't you have assistants? Neither of my children ever played on a rec team that didn't have at least two assistants. Frequently there were more.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why? The poster's point was that no one would be there if your child was hurt.

At the school, you can "turn over" an injured child to the nurse or other responsible adults. The teacher has responsibility over the child, but there are other adults to help with that emergency with minimal disruption to class time. (minimal does not mean very little--but you won't have a whole day of school disrupted because one child broke their arm.)

Never mind that school is compulsory.

For scouting and such--the child isn't participating in risky activities and if they were, typically there are chaperones to help mitigate the risk as well as additional liability forms.

We aren't using common sense here when trying to equate soccer to a non-sporting activity or to school where there are plenty of adults that oversee the children in their legally required activity.

 

[pacrosby]

If you need to stay due to distance from house sit in car...far away and don't go sit in chair and watch. OR go park somewhere else and read.....

Although I don't get the suggestion that parents SHOULD have to stay, this is equally strange to me. Why SHOULDN'T a parent stay? I mean sure there may be cases where kids do better when a parent isn't there...........and some parents are disruptive................but most parents? Why not?

Personlly my kids LOVE to know that we are watching and supporting them when we can. It doesn't distract them. We keep our distance and watch quietly. And then we spend the ride home listening to them excitedly recount "did you see me when....", "did you see how I....."

Can't we just let people do what works for them?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Don't you have assistants? Neither of my children ever played on a rec team that didn't have at least two assistants. Frequently there were more.

Sure. But it is rather irrelevant as even with assistance, we are short a hand when someone's child decides "they have to go NOW." So mom/dad present is immensely helpful.

Again--YMMV. But we are talking about an outdoor activity where on each field we have ever played, the bathroom is a lengthy hike. We don't have the luxury of taking them ALL at the same time. And they never ever want to go at the same time anyway. Any potty break is a minimum of 10 minutes (for one child).

 

[golfgal]

I disagree for the very younger ages. It isn't fair to the coach to have to manage pre-schoolers who decide they are done playing and want to go and sulk or have to go potty or need their shoes tied for the 10,000th time.

I would be put off and likely not agree to coach if I had to manage anything beyond teaching the kids how to play a game. If the parents didn't stay, very little time would be spent PLAYING. It would be spent with pre-schooler management. That is unfair to the group of children whose parents have paid to have them learn a game and not take constant field trips as a group back and forth to the bathroom.

This happens EVERY practice and game.

YMMV.

(again--posting since folks are posting universal expectations without regard to age of the players)

At the younger ages it is even WORSE having parents there. Again, the coaches have signed up for this job, volunteer or paid, and know what they are getting into. You certainly wouldn't expect a parent to stay in school all day with their kindergartner just in case he has to go potty while the teacher is busy do you? Take your kid to the bathroom when you drop them off for practice and it won't be an issue 99% of the time. Teach your kid to tie their own shoes and again, no issues.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I never said that was the purpose of the rule. I'm referring to many people on this thread.

My kids are older and I do and have "left them alone" at their activity. However, as a matter of convenience, it isn't that we "can't" leave our kids alone--it's that it doesn't make sense to do so. (ETA: I Do not leave my 4yo. )

 

[msjprincess]

At the school, you can "turn over" an injured child to the nurse or other responsible adults. The teacher has responsibility over the child, but there are other adults to help with that emergency with minimal disruption to class time. (minimal does not mean very little--but you won't have a whole day of school disrupted because one child broke their arm.)

Never mind that school is compulsory.

For scouting and such--the child isn't participating in risky activities and if they were, typically there are chaperones to help mitigate the risk as well as additional liability forms.

We aren't using common sense here when trying to equate soccer to a non-sporting activity or to school where there are plenty of adults that oversee the children in their legally required activity.

Okay fine. I'm not allowed to stay at my daughter's baton practice. What if she gets hit in the head with a baton?

My son could cut himself doing woodworking at Boy Scouts. There are plenty of ways that he could get hurt at Boy Scout Camp.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I disagree for the very younger ages. It isn't fair to the coach to have to manage pre-schoolers who decide they are done playing and want to go and sulk or have to go potty or need their shoes tied for the 10,000th time.

I would be put off and likely not agree to coach if I had to manage anything beyond teaching the kids how to play a game. If the parents didn't stay, very little time would be spent PLAYING. It would be spent with pre-schooler management. That is unfair to the group of children whose parents have paid to have them learn a game and not take constant field trips as a group back and forth to the bathroom.

This happens EVERY practice and game.

YMMV.

(again--posting since folks are posting universal expectations without regard to age of the players)

My husband runs our club's academy for ages 4-6. While parents stay, they are only permitted to approach the field if their kid needs to go to the bathroom. Parents must stay off the field otherwise, because he finds it much easier to manage the kids without the parents right there. He and the coaches don't need or want parental help.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

At the younger ages it is even WORSE having parents there. Again, the coaches have signed up for this job, volunteer or paid, and know what they are getting into. You certainly wouldn't expect a parent to stay in school all day with their kindergartner just in case he has to go potty while the teacher is busy do you? Take your kid to the bathroom when you drop them off for practice and it won't be an issue 99% of the time. Teach your kid to tie their own shoes and again, no issues.

I volunteer with a group that isn't a drop off activity. So unless that parent is volunteering on another field (but otherwise present and reachable at the game), their presence is expected with their U-6 player. Their child does have a designated adult while with me.

I'm referring to OTHER parents and their U-6 kids. Unfortunately, common sense does not always prevail and while it would be LOVELY if they took their kids potty BEFORE they brought them (and have them dressed appropriately for the weather! ), it would not be an issue. But you can't make them.

And in case it went unnoticed--I'm speaking of other parents and not myself. And I don't know too many 4 year olds that can tie their own shoes. Especially those annoyingly short shoe laces on some soccer cleats.

I am sure in Kindergarten, the toilets are more readily accessible than on a soccer field.

 

[jrmasm]

Sure. But it is rather irrelevant as even with assistance, we are short a hand when someone's child decides "they have to go NOW." So mom/dad present is immensely helpful.

Again--YMMV. But we are talking about an outdoor activity where on each field we have ever played, the bathroom is a lengthy hike. We don't have the luxury of taking them ALL at the same time. And they never ever want to go at the same time anyway. Any potty break is a minimum of 10 minutes (for one child).

Sorry you're wrong, it's completely relevant. If you have an assistant or two you should be able to handle being 'short a hand' while the kid goes to the bathroom.

And at U6 (I assume the age you're talking about), how kids were really dropped off?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My husband runs our club's academy for ages 4-6. While parents stay, they are only permitted to approach the field if their kid needs to go to the bathroom. Parents must stay off the field otherwise, because he finds it much easier to manage the kids without the parents right there. He and the coaches don't need or want parental help.

Our parents aren't literally on the field either and are not to help with coaching. But I can send their kid to them if the need something.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry you're wrong, it's completely relevant. If you have an assistant or two you should be able to handle being 'short a hand' while the kid goes to the bathroom.

And at U6 (I assume the age you're talking about), how kids were really dropped off?

I guess you have officially declared opinions to be wrong. Okay--didn't know that.

I don't understand your last question. Could you please rephrase it?

(How kids were "really" dropped off? --- not sure what you mean)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Okay fine. I'm not allowed to stay at my daughter's baton practice. What if she gets hit in the head with a baton?

My son could cut himself doing woodworking at Boy Scouts. There are plenty of ways that he could get hurt at Boy Scout Camp.

My child could cut herself when whittling. I signed an additional waiver and they have additional adults present for that activity.

Bottom line--if they don't want full liability--so be it. Just because another group accepts limited liability for a potentially dangerous activity, doesn't mean they don't all have to.

Why can't your kid woodwork at school or toss a baton in class?

 

[jrmasm]

I guess you have officially declared opinions to be wrong. Okay--didn't know that.

I don't understand your last question. Could you please rephrase it?

(How kids were "really" dropped off? --- not sure what you mean)

Did you not declare my opinion irrelevent?

Really was for emphasis. How many U6 kids are/were regularly ditched at practices by their parents? There reason I ask is that I don't recall that happening when either of my DDs played AT THAT AGE. Old ages, sure but not that young.

 

[HonnyDipp]

I bet this has more to do with parents using soccer practice as a babysitting service than what is going on a Penn State.

I know at my youngest son's soccer practice (he plays U8) there is at least one child who is dropped off at soccer practice. Then the parents don't show up on time to pick the child up. So the coach has to wait around on these parents after practice is over. Also, usually if a group of kids rides together as long as the parent who drove them stays for practice, then there is no problem.

That was my thought too. My DH was an assistant basketball coach and it was always a problem that kids would always be left behind and he had to wait sometimes up to an hour waiting on the parent

 

[declansdad]

Actually, yes they are. They signed up to coach the team and along with that comes the responsibility for watching the kids during practice and games, it's just part of the job. I've coached sports at various levels for over 25 years and would NEVER expect the parents to stay and quite frankly I don't WANT the parents to stay. They are just a distraction for the kids that the kids don't need at every single practice.

Coaches don't sign up to be babysitters. If your kid can't behave at a practice, the parent needs to stay or keep the kid away until they can.

 

[golfgal]

Coaches don't sign up to be babysitters. If your kid can't behave at a practice, the parent needs to stay or keep the kid away until they can.

No, they signed up to be coaches and along with that comes the responsibility for watching the kids while they are at practice or at a game. It isn't that the kids are misbehaving at practice, it's the PARENTS. They are yelling instructions from the sidelines or have put so much pressure on the kid that the kid looks to them every time they do something to make sure they are doing it right--or the mom that has to wave to their little darling every time she runs past the parents or the obnoxious parent that is ALWAYS yelling --oh great job, oh, nice try or whatever. Any parent that has ever participated in a youth sport knows exactly what I am talking about. Kids behave just fine without their parents around most of the time.

 

[sam_gordon]

So many responses... wow!

I agree an responsible person (other than a coach, assistant or otherwise, but known to the child) should be at practices for U6 and below. This could be a teammates parent (carpooling), or even an older sibling (say 12yo+). This is to help with "I have to go to the bathroom" or "I don't want to do this drill" or "I fell and bumped my knee and need some TLC".

I also feel by U10 that responsible person shouldn't be needed. If the bathrooms are too far away, another team parent should be allowed to escort that child to the bathroom.

U8 is a grey area. My DS (just turned 8) is mature enough I feel comfortable dropping him off somewhere (once the coach is there). However, other children that age may need the comfort of having mom/dad there.

In our county, there is ONE organization for each sport (speaking rec, not select). Don't like how that organization does things, yes, you can either go to another county or simply drop the activity.

I've had kids involved in soccer, softball, t-ball, baseball, basketball, and cheerleading. NONE of them are able to say what days/times the teams will be practicing until signups are over. They may know practices will be on Tuesday or Thursday, but they can't say which day or time my child would be practicing. How can they? They don't even know how many teams there will be.

And just for Lisa... there have been at least two posts (possibly more) on this thread where someone has said "parents SHOULD have to stay in case there is an emergency". THAT'S why the school/boy scouts/etc has been brought up. Emergencies can happen anywhere.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Did you not declare my opinion irrelevent?

Really was for emphasis. How many U6 kids are/were regularly ditched at practices by their parents? There reason I ask is that I don't recall that happening when either of my DDs played AT THAT AGE. Old ages, sure but not that young.

But I didn't say it was wrong.

In my current league ZERO are ditched, because they aren't permitted to be ditched. The parents that have other duties in the other age divisions have a designated adult on the field that is "in charge" of their child so that I can hand the child off. But if you don't have other duties, you cannot just leave your child and expect the helpers to take over.

In our other league--I simply cannot remember because parents weren't allowed to really ditch either. The ditching happened more in U8 and U10 when parents are comfortable about leaving their child--but not really always comfortable with the courtesy of returning on time.

But pertaining to that emphasis--folks left out the age ranges of kids they were referencing and stated in absolutes, so I felt that it was okay to chime in with my experiences. Those U6 players can be a handful. (*I volunteer to ensure that here is actually a team for my son to play on. They were at risk of not being able to have teams for that age and since parents are expected to volunteer in some capacity anyway, I preferred to volunteer in a capacity that enables my son to opportunity to play. I would prefer to not coach. But if everyone doesn't coach, there wouldn't be a team to play.)

 

[declansdad]

No, they signed up to be coaches and along with that comes the responsibility for watching the kids while they are at practice or at a game. It isn't that the kids are misbehaving at practice, it's the PARENTS. They are yelling instructions from the sidelines or have put so much pressure on the kid that the kid looks to them every time they do something to make sure they are doing it right--or the mom that has to wave to their little darling every time she runs past the parents or the obnoxious parent that is ALWAYS yelling --oh great job, oh, nice try or whatever. Any parent that has ever participated in a youth sport knows exactly what I am talking about. Kids behave just fine without their parents around most of the time.

None of those things change the fact that the coach isn't a babysitter; something you said in the original post I quoted.

You right in saying that kids behave fine most of the time. It is those times they don't that cause the problem, especially at those younger ages.