Parents a question

[Pooh67_68]

My cousin just had her second child on 6/1
Some people in my family think that if they buy the new baby a gift than they should also buy the older child a gift.

Yes or No

Thank you, Heidi

 

[Mom2Em]

I do not think it is a requirement but it is seen by some as a nice thing to do... I think it depends on your relationship with the parents and child... a co-worker who do not know the children other than in passing... no... a family member ... yes

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

How old is the older child? I have in the past bought the older child a gift and skipped the new baby since I know the older child will appreciate and understand the gift and the baby...well... Sometimes the brownie points with the older kid is worth it.

 

[dvcfamily41801]

I usually buy a gift for the new baby and a congratulations on becoming a new big brother/sister for the other child. Its a big day for them too

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

I'm not a parent, but I usually buy a little something for the older child, especially if they are too young to really understand that jealousy is wrong, etc.

Several times, what I've done is wrapped up the baby gift and then put a toy or something for the older child on the front as package decoration.

 

[onecoolmama]

I took my DS1 almost 2 to my baby shower. I registered at Target and I put a few itams in there that would be for him. I gave him a present from the baby when he saw me at the hospital, but I dont think every person that buys a present for the baby has to buy one for the older child!

My mom and brother both brought presents for each of my kids; as well as most of my Aunt and Uncles...but certainly not required!

 

[Kallison]

It depends on your relationship. I just sent a gc to someone DH works with and nothing for the two older girls. They are 12 and 9. Now my neighbor is having another baby and I will definitely get something for their 2 year old, since my kids play with her constantly.

 

[Pooh67_68]

The older child is 4 and I'm not sure how she is going to react to her sister, she does not like to share.

 

[Skywalker]

I think it is a very nice thing. I do it, and when my second child was born I was grateful and thankful to people that didn't forget about my older son's feelings. It's a small gesture but I don't see any down side.

 

[ILMOUSE]

Give the age of the child, I think if it is in your budget and you are close a small gift for the older child is a nice gesture. For an older child I have given a photo album/scrapbook that they can use to put pictures in of them with their new brother or sister. For young ones, I would say a toy, book, or video.

But I do not think it is expected. I have only done this for my neice so far. I also think one should take in consideration how they are delivering the gift. If the young child who is trying to adjust and is young enough to not understand why the new baby is getting gifts and all the attention is going to be there when the gift is presented it is better to provide them with something or a gift that could be enjoyed by both the older child and the new baby. If the gift is going to be given at a shower or when the child is not around then I don't feel it is necessary.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I do not think it is expected . But I always do.

 

[disykat]

Certainly not required. If the older child is going to be present when I give the gift and is between the ages of 2 - 5 I usually do give them a small gift too though just to prevent jealousy. I've always given very small gifts - around $1- like a ball, a coloring book, etc. Something with immediate play value.

In our family the older sibling always got a little gift (again, very small token just to distract them - we don't want them to think it's their party!) at birthdays too during those preschool years.

 

[Tuffcookie]

I probably would do it. It's hard enough on a kid when they suddenly have to share the parents attention. How about a tee shirt that says "I'm the big brother (or sister)?

TC

 

[preshi]

Everyone that brought our new baby a gift brought our older son a gift. I was quite shocked about it. I would never expect them to do such a thing but they enjoy spoiling him so I'll let them

Defintely not a requirement though.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

When I had my baby a few people got DD(5) a gift to celebrate becoming a big sister. She loved this and it definately helped with the sibling rivalry issue.

 

[poohandwendy]

I do it if I know the child. I think it is a nice gesture, becoming a sibling is a BIG deal and I think it helps make the child feel a part of it all.

I usually get something activity oriented (but not messy- fingerpaints would not be a good idea) like a coloring book w/ crayons or an easy craft that doesn't require help. It keeps the child busy while the new mom is adjusting to the schedule...2 birds, one stone...

 

[Stimpy]

We just had our 2nd baby in April. Our DS-4 really appreciated the presents he got for being an older brother. He didn't expect a present but was excited when some one remembered him.

I usually get a gift for older siblings, especially if I think they will be there when we give the baby gift. Usually I only spend about $5-$10 for friend's kids. To a 4 year old, even a cheap present is a good present!

I also sometimes give a $10 blockbuster gift card to the parents. This way they can use it for themselves, if they can get a break together, or for the older kids if the parents need a break!

 

[liznboys]

I just had our 3rd baby in March, so we just went through this...

It certainly is not a requirement!! Most people just gave gifts for our baby and not our other two. BUT, the ones who gave a little something to our other kids really did add something special. It's not like we wanted more gifts, but it's just the fact that they took the time to think of our other boys was REALLY sweet and thoughtful. And, very much appreciated on our part because it made them feel less left out and not so much like the baby was getting ALL the gifts and attention.

In the future, I will give something to the other kids along with the new baby now that I know how much the parents appreciate it like we did!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Not a requirement, but I think it is nice to include older siblings.

 

[lulugirl]

I certainly don't think it's a requirement, but it is a nice thing to do. I always get a gift for the older child, so they feel special too!