DVC Jen
Wigs out even the biggest circus freaks.
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2004
- Messages
- 6,091
Whew!!!!!
Thank God!
I wanted to see what everyone else said before I revealed what my DH and I said.. and that was a very firm NO (we too were secretly thinking HELL NO!).
I am not sure what the parents of this girl are thinking.. or if they even are thinking. My gut is the same as another poster said.. they want to be the "cool" parents. Well secretly.. who doesn't want to be the cool parents. With that said.. I will sacrifice being the cool parents for my beliefs and/or making sure my daughter doesn't grow up faster than she is already trying to.
When our DD turned 13 in May we had a boy/girl party for her. We have a pool in the backyard. We got lots of squirt guns, beach balls, pizza, soda and other junk food. We pretty much let the kids have fun out there and we stayed away (still checking on them through the windows and making sure the doors and blinds were open so we could see and hear what was going on). Then 10 pm came and the boys went home and the girls spent the night.
Do I trust my DD? Yes.. to a point. I know I have taught her right from wrong. I know that SHE knows right from wrong. I trust her to be a 13 yr old. I trust her to try to spread her wings and fly faster and further than she may be emotionally ready for. I trust her to try to get away with things and try to hide some things from me. I also trust her to trust me to raise her in a way that lets her have some freedoms but also some limitations so she isn't thrust into experiences she is unable to emotionally and or physically handle.
This summer has been a real "experience" with her. I knew she was going to be a challenge when she hit the teen years. I also know things are probably gonna get a lot harder before the get easier. I know this for a fact because she is SO MUCH LIKE ME!
She was pretty much hating me last night and that was about killing me. I am standing firm with our decision though. Then this morning we had a long talk. I told her that I understand that she is angry and I understand why. I also told her that I trust her, I love her, but I am not always going to let her do everything her friends parents let them to. To this she replied " I am tired of being the freak that can't do anything".
I know she is pulling the drama card because not only did I say no to the sleep over but also the ALL NIGHT lock in at the skating rink. My 13 yr old DD does not need to be out all night. If she were 16 or 17 I would probably let her do a lock in.. but at 13 and at the skating rink.. nope. Not gonna happen.
She then complained that I am the "most strict mom EVER". I had to laugh at that. We then discussed how the mother of friend L is extremely strict and friend L can not do near what my DD can do. Then I pointed out how the mother of friend T is way more permissive than I am. I told her I didn't and won't be as strict with her as friend L's mom but that there is no way I will be as permissive as friend T's mom. And as long as she doesn't break the trust I have in her, and as long as she is responsible and respectful I will stay middle of the road. I told her she chooses the behavior she has, therefore she choosed the outcome of her behavior.
OK.. I am babbling now.
Yes.. I am still going through some of that Mommy guilt. It hurts me to know that my baby girl is hurting because i said no to soemthing she really wants. Of course I am not giving into the guilt trip she is laying on my shoulders. I love her enough to carry that guilt for a very long time.
Thank God!
I wanted to see what everyone else said before I revealed what my DH and I said.. and that was a very firm NO (we too were secretly thinking HELL NO!).
I am not sure what the parents of this girl are thinking.. or if they even are thinking. My gut is the same as another poster said.. they want to be the "cool" parents. Well secretly.. who doesn't want to be the cool parents. With that said.. I will sacrifice being the cool parents for my beliefs and/or making sure my daughter doesn't grow up faster than she is already trying to.
When our DD turned 13 in May we had a boy/girl party for her. We have a pool in the backyard. We got lots of squirt guns, beach balls, pizza, soda and other junk food. We pretty much let the kids have fun out there and we stayed away (still checking on them through the windows and making sure the doors and blinds were open so we could see and hear what was going on). Then 10 pm came and the boys went home and the girls spent the night.
Do I trust my DD? Yes.. to a point. I know I have taught her right from wrong. I know that SHE knows right from wrong. I trust her to be a 13 yr old. I trust her to try to spread her wings and fly faster and further than she may be emotionally ready for. I trust her to try to get away with things and try to hide some things from me. I also trust her to trust me to raise her in a way that lets her have some freedoms but also some limitations so she isn't thrust into experiences she is unable to emotionally and or physically handle.
This summer has been a real "experience" with her. I knew she was going to be a challenge when she hit the teen years. I also know things are probably gonna get a lot harder before the get easier. I know this for a fact because she is SO MUCH LIKE ME!
She was pretty much hating me last night and that was about killing me. I am standing firm with our decision though. Then this morning we had a long talk. I told her that I understand that she is angry and I understand why. I also told her that I trust her, I love her, but I am not always going to let her do everything her friends parents let them to. To this she replied " I am tired of being the freak that can't do anything".
I know she is pulling the drama card because not only did I say no to the sleep over but also the ALL NIGHT lock in at the skating rink. My 13 yr old DD does not need to be out all night. If she were 16 or 17 I would probably let her do a lock in.. but at 13 and at the skating rink.. nope. Not gonna happen.
She then complained that I am the "most strict mom EVER". I had to laugh at that. We then discussed how the mother of friend L is extremely strict and friend L can not do near what my DD can do. Then I pointed out how the mother of friend T is way more permissive than I am. I told her I didn't and won't be as strict with her as friend L's mom but that there is no way I will be as permissive as friend T's mom. And as long as she doesn't break the trust I have in her, and as long as she is responsible and respectful I will stay middle of the road. I told her she chooses the behavior she has, therefore she choosed the outcome of her behavior.
OK.. I am babbling now.
Yes.. I am still going through some of that Mommy guilt. It hurts me to know that my baby girl is hurting because i said no to soemthing she really wants. Of course I am not giving into the guilt trip she is laying on my shoulders. I love her enough to carry that guilt for a very long time.
I don't see how parents of a thirteen year old would even consider this.
After reading my son's chat logs, it's the girls that I don't trust! Holy cow, they are SO forward these days.
