Parenting Question - Co-Ed sleepover (decision post 41)

[DVC Jen]

Would you let your 13 yr old attend a co-ed sleepover? The hosting parents have said they are going to be there and watching closely.

My DH and I have already made our decision, but I am curious to see if other parents of 13 yr olds feel that same way we do.

 

[MushyMushy]

Absolutely, unequivocably not.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Probably not, no.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

I voted no and have told my kids no. But then their response was, "You let us go to the swim team sleepover." Which I had done. It was co-ed but somehow outside in tents at the pool didn't seem as bad. But maybe it was. Of course there were no love interests there.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Nope! I can't even think of any circumstances at 13yo that would make it ok. My 12yo has been invited to parties that have been co-ed and when it's time for bed, the boys go home.

 

[debbi801]

No way. Not unless the boys were in one locked room with the father and the girls were in another locked room at the far end of the house with the mother.

Seriously though, the parents have got to sleep at some point in time, and having a 13 yr old at home, there is no way.

 

[Southern4sure]

At this age....nope.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Not at that age.

 

[Charade]

(waiting for the "I would, I trust my kid..." post. There's always at least one)

 

[babytrees]

Nope, no way no how!! I trust my 14 year old I don't trust the boys.

Even as young as my 10 year old I am not sure...except one kid, he's like a family member so that doesn't count.

 

[DVCLiz]

No way.

Although I have let DD invite a group of friends, including one boy who lived in the next town over, to spend the night. But they were in high school, and I knew, long before the boy did, that he was gay, so I think it was pretty safe!!!

 

[EthansMom]

Heck, no! I would let them stay till 10 or 11 and then they could come home, if they wanted to do that. There is no reason for young teens to have a co-ed sleepover.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

so far, I am the only one that has said yes! I would do it, but only if I knew the parents and I knew I could trust them to be watchful.

I feel I could be the parent holding this type of party and nothing would happen. The kids would just have to know they will be watched and checked on - the rules would be laid out ahead of time and followed. I also think parents would be put on notice that anyone not following the rules would be sent home and parents should be ready for that. I am willing to go without sleep for a night.

I think it is important to trust kids and show them that they can have fun within guidelines - they have to have opportunities to do so. It only breaks down when there are no rules and no supervision from responsible adults.

My DD is only 8, but we are still having co-ed sleepovers...she will have one for her 9th birthday...most of her friends are boys (mostly due to the make up of our neighborhood and the fact that she doesn't like the "catty" games some girls play)..so I see her parties always being co-ed.

 

[Divamomto3]

Absolutely not.

 

[luvmydogs]

No, I definitely would not.

I've no problem with supervised boy/girl parties at that age, but the coed sleeping-over part just doesn't fly with me.

 

[yearbook50]

I did when I was 13. I also held co-ed sleep overs on New Years starting when I was 15 at my house. Then again, I was in the nerdy crowd and the boy's parents knew that nothing like that would happen in among us. Nothing ever did either.

 

[poohandwendy]

Um, no. Even if you trust all of the kids, why would there be any reason to have a co-ed sleep over for 13 yos?

 

[Tracey1974]

Crap- I clicked on the wrong one. There should be another vote for no, sorry to screw up the poll!

 

[barkley]

no way-but i'm a tad biased on it. i know of a 'love child' conceived at one-and it was the older sister (i attended highschool with her at the time) that put the 'moves' on the 13 year old boy. yup, '5 minutes in heaven' (remember that game?) resulted in 18 years of child support.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think it is important to trust kids and show them that they can have fun within guidelines - they have to have opportunities to do so.

Sure, and with my kids...one of the guidelines is no co-ed sleepovers. They have plenty of opportunities to have fun. Parents can trust their kids and not think it is acceptable to have a co-ed sleepover.