Panhandling - What Do You Think?

[RangerPooh]

We have plenty of scammers, druggies, and homeless all panhandling in our area. It gets old. I just drive by. You can tell that some appreciate the kindness of food, but the regulars are interested in money. In my area there's a woman who includes her kids in the scam with a different story every few weeks. I haven't seen any posts about her in a while, so she may have moved on.

 

[BrianL]

It's actually very sad that the scammers prevent us from helping those who could really use it. It's outrageous really! Those scammers prey upon the truly needy as much as they do the people who give to them. It's such a shame.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Do you know how hard it is for the homeless to get a job? And can you say for certain who is homeless and who is a professional panhandler? You should have just walked by and not said a word. Give or don't give, but anger and spite are...well. I won't say more on that.

I don't give money directly, ever. Everything I've heard says not to do that because if they have an addiction, most times the addiction wins and they spend it on drugs or alcohol. That doesn't make them less worthy of help, only a person struggling with an addiction who might need to fill their stomachs with something hot. I've offered to buy food for people on the street and I've been both taken up on it and turned down. It doesn't stop me from offering. I donate to Cathedral Kitchen in Camden, New Jersey, which has one of the largest homeless populations in the country. Again, I don't like tooting my own horn as to what I give, but they provide meals to food insecure people. You can have a job and a home and still be food insecure, BTW.

Cathedral Kitchen: https://www.cathedralkitchen.org/

 

[JLTraveling]

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Reminds me of a guy I met at Woodstock 94. His sign read "Don't need anything. Just like to hold signs."

My city holds very strong traditions of the barter economy and the busking community. For those who walk on by, or worse yet make unnecessarily harsh comments, where do you draw the line? We have lots of tarot readers who have permits to set up in Jackson Square at night, and by law they're only allowed to ask for donations not to set a specific price. Does that count as "work" to you? Would you donate a fair amount or do what a lot of tourists do and get a detailed reading and then leave a buck, or even nothing at all? What about the visual artists who set up in Jackson Square during the day? Is that a "job"? How about the human statues who stand motionless on a milk crate for hours on end--would you drop a couple bucks in the hat on your way by? What about the 8 to 10-year-old kids who glue bottle caps to the bottoms of their shoes and tap dance on the sidewalk? Or the teenage homeless guys who play guitar on the street corner?

I guess what I'm asking is, okay, I get it. You don't want to give money to someone who's flying a sign. But what if they're entertaining you while asking for money?

ETA: I know a lot of the regulars in our busking community. Some are homeless, some are not. More than one has been discovered and given a recording contract. I've given them both money and food, and never been turned down for either one.

 

[DLgal]

We have plenty of scammers, druggies, and homeless all panhandling in our area. It gets old. I just drive by. You can tell that some appreciate the kindness of food, but the regulars are interested in money. In my area there's a woman who includes her kids in the scam with a different story every few weeks. I haven't seen any posts about her in a while, so she may have moved on.

We have that here too, where the women set up shop with the kids in strollers or just sitting there by the side of the busy road. One of these women was called out in my neighborhood Facebook group. Someone was like "this family lives next door to me and the husband yells at his wife every Saturday and Sunday morning to hurry up and load the car." They live in a home worth close to 2 million and only pull this scam on weekends. The car they drive is a Mercedes SUV worth somewhere around $70k. They choose a different shopping center every weekend. I've seen them all over town, the sign says "Homeless, single mom with hungry kids and no job." Liars. I don't give anyone money anymore. I'm no fool.

 

[2SLM]

The other day DH and I were leaving the local shopping center parking lot after doing our grocery shopping. On the curb at the end of the entrance/exit to the shopping center there was a young woman holding a sign begging for money saying she was a mother of two children and couldn’t work.

I found this to be very offensive for this young woman to be begging on the street for money. She was wearing a very nice coat and looked perfectly healthy, had no children with her so she must have had childcare. My thought was that if she was able to be out on the street begging wouldn’t she be better served getting a job? There are help wanted signs all over the place and the pay scale today is much better than it was in years gone by. I just can’t believe the gall of this person to expect people to just handover money to her for no good reason.

On our way past her I mouthed the words “get a job”. I hope she understood what I was saying and hope no one gave her any money.

Gah, I hope that wasn't Jesus!

 

[leebee]

Honest to crap, we're talking $1 here... what's the big deal? Compassion and kindness outweigh suspicion and contempt in my world.

 

[serenitynow]

We have a family in our community that is suing because they have been ticketed and arrested for panhandling on private property (parking lots) and public intersections. They claim it’s their 1st Amendment right to hold up signs asking for money, as it’s their profession. Both parents and all of their kids are involved. They live in the nicest subdivision in town and allege they pay “the taxes”on the money as “professional panhandlers”. No shame in their game. It’s disgusting. The woman can usually be found at the first intersection off the interstate with a kid in a stroller holding up a cardboard sign with a lie written on it like “Single mom needs help” or “Homeless”

 

[MamaMermaid]

Ewww. Be better than that.

You can feel how you feel, but to kick someone when they are down - or at least at the point in their life where panhandling is what they resort to - that is just gross.

Next time, pass on by. And, pass on the judgement, too. "Get a job" is not that damn easy. No matter what "they" want to say - plenty of people in my life looking, even the places that are "desperate for help" don't hire qualified candidates.

This.

OP - you come across as incredibly privileged and judgmental. I hope you find some compassion for others.

 

[spiders]

My father used to take me into work when I was a kid. He worked in Manhattan. We would pass all sorts on the way. He told me early on that if I chose to become an alcoholic and get on drugs then there would be a spot on the sidewalk waiting for me at the end. That was solid advice.

 

[Southernmiss]

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

 

[kdonnel]

I think the people desperate enough to beg/panhandle are extremely brave. I hope I would be that brave/strong if needed.

 

[Jangles]

In theory with our social system people should receive benefits and be given a safe place to live, but some people seem to fall through the cracks. Local authorities are obliged to provide housing, but of course there is a shortage and the waiting lists oversubscribed. We have homeless shelters but not enough beds, and a Salvation Army food truck parks in exactly the same place in the City centre to offer food and manage a’ bed on the floor’ scheme…churches which open their doors and allow the homeless to sleep on the floor. Many of the homeless are veterans whose lives have fallen apart due to mental illness, addicts, the mentally ill, people just released from prison and those who just don’t seem to be able to function in society. There is an elderly gentleman who begs, with his dog, outside my local supermarket. I generally have a chat with him and ask him if he would like a sandwich. On the other hand, I was in the Cotswolds last week, came across a man begging as I entered a cafe and when I asked him if he would like a sandwich, he waved a bag of food at me and said no. So I gave him nothing. I think if you take a moment or two to speak to people, you can generally tell whether they are genuinely in need and often they like to chat.

 

[amcnj]

It’s a tough call to make. I have read lots of official warnings not to give money because it is being used to purchase addiction substances. I have seen group panhandlers “carpooling to work” and being dropped off at their location for the day. I know people whose offers of food were refused. But I still always think to myself well maybe this one is legitimate and could use a little help…

 

[barkley]

When I was in college, my friends and I used to burn up unused meal plan dollars at the end of the term by buying loads of sandwiches and bagged snacks and giving them away to the people living in a homeless encampment on our way home from campus, and 95% of those we offered food to were appreciative (the 5% that weren't tended to be the more paranoid mentally ill, who looked at the food like a trap of some sort). DD20 does the same thing now, along with some of her college friends, with the same results

the university local to us lets students donate their unused meal plan dollars at the end of the term and the $$$ value is donated to our local food pantries and kitchens. the money can go so much further with the buying power/discounts the pantries and kitchens have vs. what price the university places on individual sandwiches and such. if your dd's school doesn't engage in that type of arrangement you might suggest she bring the idea up to the powers that be.

 

[Christine]

Personally, I'm just sick of this organized panhandling. I can't believe that our local county cannot do anything about that. It's gotten so bad because they are everywhere. They are in the way of people who are just actual pedestrians and they make people nervous for their safety in some cases. It's really disheartening when you see them dropped off and it's clear the shift lasts from 9AM until about 6PM. Same people working the same intersections for years. We've been told they are most likely organized drug rings, controlled by dealers and who supply them with some sort of drugs for whatever they bring in. This has been going on for about 8 years.

I feel really sorry for homeless people and it seems our "real" homeless people here don't get involved in this. They know where to go to get their resources, hot meals, showers, care for their animals, etc. I know people just want to be kind but by giving these folks your money, your a encouraging a system of servitude, possible trafficking, and it makes people feel more negatively toward those that truly need the help but haven't fallen victim to the organized rings of begging.

 

[KayMichigan]

I see lots of panhandlers during my drives around town. I never give them anything, there are charity organizations and places where they can go for help if they really need it. It's just too hard to tell who really needs help and who'd just take the money and buy booze, drugs or cigarettes with it. I suspect most of them do it because they make great money at it, probably more than they would at a job.

And yeah, they don't want food or job offers. Just the money.

 

[kymom99]

When I was a child I often went “downtown” shopping with my mom. We would see a couple panhandlers, but these were handicapped people. My mom had worked downtown before she had kids and was familiar with panhandlers. The one in particular I remember my mom said was blind. He would hold a cup upside down. If a person wanted to give him money they would turn the cup over and drop the money in. That way he knew you gave money. Even at a young age I could tell he was handicapped. Today I think we do a better job supporting people with those kinds of needs, but I know we often fail people with mental illness.

I have seen panhandlers outside the baseball stadium with signs that say I’m not going to lie, I just want a beer. People think it’s hysterical snd give them money. I think it’s sad.

 

[fla4fun]

One thing I am taking away from this thread is that there are people who appear to be confused between showing kindness to others and the act of giving to panhandlers. Showing kindness does not mean you have to give, and it is not unkind to give nothing. It is entirely possible to give and be unkind at the same time. Kindness just means leaving the situation without making yourself, or the person in need, feel worse than they did at the beginning of the encounter. Sometimes simply going on your way and doing nothing is the kindest thing to do for everyone involved, especially if you suspect professional panhandlers are at work.

As Thumper said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

A friend of mine knows a guy who is a fast food manager. She recounted this story to me not long ago.

A friend of hers saw a panhandler at a busy intersection here in the city. This guy just happened to be the manager of a restaurant on the strip where this intersection was. He told the panhandler that he didn't care what his past was, just come to this restaurant and he would give him a job.

The panhandler replied to him "No, thanks, I make more here".