Panhandling - What Do You Think?

[RamblingMad]

I think, this is fitting for this thread.

 

[MamaBelle4]

We never begged for money.

But my family was homeless, a couple of times, during my childhood.

Less than a year after we secured the home my parents would live in for the next 27 years, my dad and I were grocery shopping. There was a man begging for money for his family.

It was a couple of days until payday but we had food, gas and a roof over our heads and not much else. My dad opened his wallet and gave him his last $20.

When we got in the car he said to me, "If you are ever in a position to help someone less fortunate than you, you do."

Thank God I have the parents I have, who had nothing but taught us to appreciate and give, to love and be compassionate.

That's my only response to this post.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Best to not judge others.

Considering you spend a lot of time on the DIS judging others for their financial decisions and oddly their weight and eating habits I find this an ironic statement.

I think, this is fitting for this thread.

Ah..yup there it is...the irony

 

[SteveH]

I just drive by and ignore them. But some around my neck of the woods seem to think they can get aggressive and come right up to the cars. I have absolutely no problems calling the City's non-emergency police to report them. As I drive with the doors off my Jeep in the summer a few come right up to ask for money - I decline and tell them I'll donate to the homeless shelter in town though, which usually elicits some rather colorful metaphor responses. I usually try to just ignore it and move along.

 

[Skywalker]

Panhandlers! No way, I never give them anything. I used to live in a big city for many years and it really made me jaded. Just a few examples of many,

One of my first trips on the subway, a young guy comes up to me and asks me for some money, he is broke, can't eat etc. I pulled out whatever I had (so about $10) and gave to him. I then watched him go immediately over to his group of laughing friends and say "Hey! She actually gave me money." I'm sure a career panhandler was born that day and I blame myself lol.

Another time, I was approached by a guy that had a whole sob story about he was a vet, he had nowhere to live, his parents would help him if he could just get bus fare home. My heart went out to him and, again helped him out with whatever I could. I was approached by the same guy about a year later, he still had the same story. I felt like saying, "Wow, dude in a year you haven't cobbled together that bus fare yet?" Instead I just kind of sneered and said "um yeah I don't think so". Someone watching might have thought I was a real cold witch but oh well.

In college knew two students who would panhandle on Thursdays only - to get their weekend drinking/party money. They looked as pathetic as they could. He targeted older women (saying they always think of their sons), she targeted older men (saying they get a hero complex). These people weren't dumb. Sometimes they'd go to her folks place in suburbia to pick up her dog. That gave them a whole new demographic of people wanting to help them.

There was a local "homeless' guy who had a nice car parked around the corner and went home to a house every night. Everyone in the neighbourhood knew it, and we always felt sorry for the unsuspecting people who walked along and gave him money.

Unfortunately I trust no one. If someone truly needs help, there are ways for them to get it.

 

[dez1978]

There are shelters for that

Yes, if you read what I wrote prior to responding you'd see I mentioned those. A homeless shelter isnt a fix for any of those issues besides a roof.

 

[RedAngie]

Wow! You could have just passed by. Did you feel good about yourself afterward?

I suppose OP feels just as good if not better than the holier-than-thous who feel the need to condemn her.

Everyone virtue signaling here could easily have passed by this thread without commenting.

Try looking in the mirror sometime, DIS.

 

[RogueX]

When I first started my job, every morning I would grab coffee before crossing the plaza to go into my office building. There was a group of 5 older guys who were from the homeless vets shelter nearby, asking for spare change. I went to hand over what I had left from my coffee and one of the guys was appreciative, but then started up a group discussion with the others that became quite humorous. First it started out with questions like " why don't you ever smile? You're depressing us and we don't have anything." Eventually every morning as I passed the color commentary moved onto asking why I only wore black, that I needed to button up my coat or I'd get sick and stuff like that. I referred to them as my advisory committee....they weren't lacking in opinions.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I never give to panhandlers. There are food stamps, WIC, (empty) homeless shelters, free school breakfast/lunches, and many other programs to assist. DO NOT stop my car, approach me, yell at me, harass me for money.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Unfortunately I trust no one. If someone truly needs help, there are ways for them to get it.

This is so true.

 

[Alicefan]

Not sure how asking for cash is offensive. I along with others don't carry any cash so I couldn't give to them even if I wanted to. I don't want to give them cash but I would expect they should evolve to taking Venmo or Zelle if they want to improve their take.

Oh they do. I had a guy tell me that he'd take a check when I told him I had no cash.

 

[Alicefan]

I think, this is fitting for this thread.

I have to say, I don't get this at all?

 

[kymom99]

Yes, if you read what I wrote prior to responding you'd see I mentioned those. A homeless shelter isnt a fix for any of those issues besides a roof.

Homeless shelters can be connections to other resources.

 

[dez1978]

Homeless shelters can be connections to other resources.

CAN be, but often aren't bc of a lack of resources..

 

[MillauFr]

Oh they do. I had a guy tell me that he'd take a check when I told him I had no cash.

Of course he would. With the info on your check he could print as many as he wanted and drain your account.

 

[aprilgail]

They usually get really angry with you when you do that.

Typically when they leave they leave behind a big pile of food people have given them that they don't want/need- they are only after the cash.

Compassion is important yes, but at the same time, when you see professional street beggars on such a regular basis, and know that they get a local authority house and all sorts of benefits and its long term, and that most likely have never had a proper job in their life, the compassion goes out the window.

There has been the same guy at the intersection near me for THREE YEARS! In 3 years he couldn't get his crap together?? There is a pile left behind by him all the time of cups and food that people have given him, he drinks it and leaves all his trash behind!

I will give anyone food if they need it but I am not giving cash- Every Sunday I took the same train into NYC with my daughter for her acting school- there was a guy (Found out his name was Jesus by talking to him)-he was always by auntie annes trying to get some food so I would buy him a pretzel and soda- each week he would be there waiting for me and I would get him the pretzel (he loved their pretzels) and a drink. He was missing for about 3 weeks and I was actually worried about what happened to him and he reappeared one week and said he was in the hopsital- but every week I bought him food.

One a local charity facebook page a woman posted that she was in a homeless shelter (they house groups in regular houses here) and asking if anyone had any kotex or tampons to spare. Found out they don't provide those and thought how horrible that must be! So I posted on my facebook asking if anyone wanted to help me out helping this shelter- by the end of the day I had a car full of things from kotex- shampoo, deodorant and things and my venmo blew up and I had almost 1,000.00. I contacted the social worker in charge of that one house and she gave me a list of things they could use-Spent most of it in the food store getting things like meat, dairy and things that they don't get at the food bank and some sweatshirts people there needed. I have since found out that the woman who posted that has now gotten a job and they are going to be moving into a place of their own.

 

[JLTraveling]

Typically when they leave they leave behind a big pile of food people have given them that they don't want/need- they are only after the cash.



There has been the same guy at the intersection near me for THREE YEARS! In 3 years he couldn't get his crap together?? There is a pile left behind by him all the time of cups and food that people have given him, he drinks it and leaves all his trash behind!

I will give anyone food if they need it but I am not giving cash- Every Sunday I took the same train into NYC with my daughter for her acting school- there was a guy (Found out his name was Jesus by talking to him)-he was always by auntie annes trying to get some food so I would buy him a pretzel and soda- each week he would be there waiting for me and I would get him the pretzel (he loved their pretzels) and a drink. He was missing for about 3 weeks and I was actually worried about what happened to him and he reappeared one week and said he was in the hopsital- but every week I bought him food.

One a local charity facebook page a woman posted that she was in a homeless shelter (they house groups in regular houses here) and asking if anyone had any kotex or tampons to spare. Found out they don't provide those and thought how horrible that must be! So I posted on my facebook asking if anyone wanted to help me out helping this shelter- by the end of the day I had a car full of things from kotex- shampoo, deodorant and things and my venmo blew up and I had almost 1,000.00. I contacted the social worker in charge of that one house and she gave me a list of things they could use-Spent most of it in the food store getting things like meat, dairy and things that they don't get at the food bank and some sweatshirts people there needed. I have since found out that the woman who posted that has now gotten a job and they are going to be moving into a place of their own.

Bless you for making such a difference. I once let a homeless guy move in with me. I was 16 with my own apartment, he was 19 and had been kicked out of his parents' house for being gay. We were friends for a few months before he moved in. He was able to get his stuff together pretty fast once he had a place to lay his head at night, food to eat, and regular access to a shower and a washing machine. Turned out to be a fabulous roommate. We went our separate ways and gradually lost touch, until I got an email from him years later. He'd become a successful businessman with a great life, and he said he owed it all to me. Said he probably would have died by suicide if he'd been on the streets much longer. You never know what a massive difference your small act of kindness can make.

 

[CdnCarrie]

A few years ago walking to my car after work one day just before Christmas I was asked for money. I rarely carry money but the lady seemed to be honest so I gave her $5. She actually hugged me!
I went to my car, came around the corner and was waiting at the intersection and did see her inside Subway getting food.
Not everyone is a scammer.

 

[DLgal]

A few years ago walking to my car after work one day just before Christmas I was asked for money. I rarely carry money but the lady seemed to be honest so I gave her $5. She actually hugged me!
I went to my car, came around the corner and was waiting at the intersection and did see her inside Subway getting food.
Not everyone is a scammer.

Of course not, but this is why I ask people who come up to me like that, "do you need a meal?" rather than hand them money. If they need a meal, I will gladly buy one for them. I am not against being charitable, but I am against handing over cash to someone who makes more money than me every year by standing on a corner with their hand out, or who uses it to support an addiction. Unfortunately, in my area, the people who do this usually don't want any actual help. The ones who need help don't panhandle, they just sleep on the street and mind their own business.

 

[JLTraveling]

The ones who need help don't panhandle, they just sleep on the street and mind their own business.

That is so not always true. Right after we moved here, it was Mardi Gras time, and I was standing in a street parking spot in front of the house to hold it while my dad brought the car around. A very nice older black man approached me and asked for a dollar. Very, very polite. I didn't have any cash on me, and when I told him that he immediately apologized for bothering me and wished me a happy Mardi Gras. He crossed the street to panhandle in front of the corner store. I was really taken by his politeness, so when my dad got there I told him the story and asked if he had cash. He did, so we crossed the street to give the guy 5 bucks. Dad told him it was because he was so polite to me, and the guy got tears in his eyes and said his momma raised him right, and just because he fell on hard times was no reason to forget that.

I've seen him around since then, always a wave and a smile. He's definitely on the streets, definitely in need, and definitely panhandling. Who am I to judge him? There but for the grace of God go I.