Sorry this took so long to post, I wanted to do it earlier but I had to wait until my window opened up on my Fastpost ticket.
There was no helping it, this chapter is huge, my biggest one ever, so put on a pot of coffee, pop a bowl of popcorn and get the thirty pack on ice
Thursday morning
Having come out of the Nashville experience intact, our spirits
have been bolstered somewhat, as evidenced by singing stupid songs. But then this ended, and I could see her hand
slowly inching towards the newspaper she picked up at the motel before we left, she's dying to read the paper but doesn't want to ignore me.
"Go ahead", I told her.
"Go ahead what?" she asked, confused.
"Go ahead and read the paper, I don't mind, really."
She was shocked, "How did you know I was thinking that?"
"Nebo intuition".
After a while she asked if I wanted to play the Jumble that was in there with her, I told her of course.
(that sounds funny doesn't it? like she's in the newspaper as well)
"Ok, I havent looked at the words yet either", she told me as she folded back the paper.
"Are you ready for your first question?"
I thought about that for a second,,, "Wait a minute, wasn't that just it?"
Once again she was confused, "Huh?"
"You asked the question are you ready for your first question and I thought that was it." "You see, it was a question that asked me if I was ready for the first question,
which was not longer possible since the first question was the original question inquiring about it."
She didn't say anything this time, just glared at me, I have that
effect on women.
At least Smidgy, anyway.
Ok, ok, women.
"Ok,,,,,,first word ,,, yelral," she said, then spelled it out for me.
"Really" I immediately said.
She was disgusted.
She did get one of the words before I did though, but
sometimes I think I can see the words better in my mind
than looking at the scrambled words on paper.
Before long we were in Kentucky, she tried to nap a bit which was just as well because she hates going over the bridge that crosses the Ohio river I believe, it is in Paducah, right before you cross into Illinois.
While she is trying to sleep, I'd like to take this moment to talk about the subject of driving.
Like most men, I have just about always considerd myself an excellent driver,,,(picture Dustin Hoffman saying that).
Oh, I wasn't always, I was brutal in my early years,,, I totaled my Camaro after only owning it for 3 weeks, it was my first car, but somewhere around age 21 I matured a lot and havent' had a real ticket in almost 30 years now, with no accidents either. A couple times I did get ticketed, but I was able to go to court and prove to the judge the error in the ticketting officer's ways.
The last ticket I was convicted of was in '82 when we first moved out here. Even then I should have beaten it but when i went to court,
I found out I could not plead innocent that day, stupid county rules I wasn't familiar with, in order to plead innocent and contest the ticket I would have to make a new court date, and I didn't want to take another day off of work.
But I would have beaten that one too due to illegal signage, in Illinois it's illegal to lower the speed limit more than ten miles per hour at a time.
From 1982, when we moved out of the city, to September, 2007 when my company went under, I drove almost 70 miles every day commuting to work and back;
this is on Chicago's expressways and tollways and if could get kinda hairy.
Another thing I have gotten better at is my attitude towards other drivers, I no longer believe I need to share my thoughts and suggestions with them all, now I keep my mouth shut and never, make hand or finger signals, although I never did that in the past either.
So, what I am getting at is I'm a good driver, although with my eye situation I'm not as good as I used to be, I try to make up for the vision problems with experience and knowledge, and not letting myself be distracted from the road.
And no, doing jumbles in my head aren't taking away from the road, although I'd never do it if we were going through a city.
All my experience on the expressways and tollways came in handy up ahead.
After we crossed the Ohio, we entered Illinois and transfered back onto I-57 once again, a few miles down the road we passed by Ina, this is the town where we stopped for gas on the way down and all the fun started with the hissing tire.
We were getting low again on gas once again now, but I'm sorry, no way did I want to stop prematurely for gas, especially back at the place where our troubles all started.
Not all nostalgia is good!
Smidgy was back awake now, she said she didn't know if she slept at all or not, that may sound ridiculous but I know exactly what she means.
Even though we are back in Illinois, we still have about 360 miles or so to go. I was originally hoping we would be able to beat the afternoon rush hour, but Stephen King's "The Mist", John Carpenter's "The Fog", and Charlton Heston saying, "So it is written, so it shall be done," along with traffic and delays in Tennessee have ruled that out now.
We also lose 5 mph on rt. 57, maximum speed limit is 65, compared to 70 in all the other states we passed through.
And on we rolled, north, to Chicago.
With her back awake now, I was relentless;
"Ok, where do you want to request if we stay in Coronado, and I think I recently read that the first 3 buildings are now preferred in the Casitas."
Our last stay at CS in Feb of '08 was in building 3, facing the lake, Lago Dorado, and it was just the most perfect place to stay, we could walk all the way from our room on the 3rd floor all the way to Pepper Market and the main lobby/registration, without having to go down to the ground. Archways and catwalks connected the buildings.
The route took you past gardens, under arches, overlooking fountains and reflecting pools. It was cool looking and cheery during the day to walk it, and downright beautiful at night with the special lighting!
As she was thinking about it we entered a construction zone where the speed limit dropped to 50, right then I caught up to a big 18 wheeler and just settled in behind him, last thing I want is to get a speeding ticket passing him in a destruction zone where the fines are doubled.
Also right then the little gas pump lit up on the dashboard signifying that unless you like taking long romantic walks along lonely highways you might want to put some gas in the car posthaste.
I told her we'll be taking the next exit for gas and she got the Atlas out and checked where we were, and it didn't look good, we just passed a town named Salem and there is nothing major coming up for a while, there might not even be a station at the next exit either, the towns look pretty far from the highway.
I wasn't too worried though, there's usually more left in the tank than they want you to believe, but my fear is how long the construction goes on for, because sometimes they close exits in work zones, then we could be screwed.
I didn't mention that thought to her.
This work zone lasted about 8 miles, finally here comes the orange sign that reads, "End Work Zone"
The huge semi moved back into the right lane, I stayed in the left and punched the resume button again to activate the cruise control again, once more we are going about 72, after passing the truck I moved back into the right lane, keeping the left lane open like you're supposed to.
I'm still looking for an exit, and we came up on another big semi so I moved over to the left to begin passing him also.
But looking in the mirror, from way back, I saw a pickup truck that was really far back, and checking the mirror again I see he is really hauling butt and caught up to us as I was alongside the semi, he clearly wasn't happy with how fast I was going, and was right on our bumper.
It was then that time went into hyperspace mode, seemed like everything happening at once.
Yes, the Beast was going to end this game he started 17 days ago once and for all, and end it permanently if he could.
I started hearing a noise that I not only couldn't place, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from.
I was getting this sick feeling in my gut again, (what now?), when Smidgy said "what's that noise?"
"Don't know, I hope it's coming from this truck," I said, but I was rapidly having my doubts.
We were now even with the cab of the semi, and the guy behind us flashed his lights at us to hurry it up.
Our speed now was close to 75, I have my foot on the gas along with the cruise on to help speed the passing of the semi up and get this jerk off my bumper.
There's only two lanes here, with us in the left lane, and the road is just beginning a long turn to the left, when suddenly the sound got extremly loud imitating a drum roll. I put both hands on the wheel and tersely told Smidgy, "HANG ON!"
The left rear tire blew completely, totally flat, and the car shockingly tilted down on the left side and the back end wanted to catch up to the front!
With the full load that we have, there is a lot of weight in this SUV, and it is all working against me now!
I know if the car hits the shoulder it's probably going to roll over and I won't have to worry about paying the new exhaust bill anymore, so I had keep it under control and let the speed drop naturally. With the huge 18 wheeler right next to me I could not just pull to the right and get it off on the shoulder, I had to keep it right where it is until the truck pulls clear of us, and that shoulder that would probably flip us was only a couple feet away!
I wanted to get it off the road on the right shoulder, especially if we have to go for a long walk to an exit or something, I don't want to have to run across the highway to get there.
At least the jerk behind me saw what was happening and really must have just about slammed on his brakes,,, he's way back there already, and as the semi pulled away again in front of me, I slid into the right lane and only when we we got under 50 did I start applying the brakes and pull off on the shoulder as far as I could.
The Santa Fe came to a stop, I turned the key off,
and then I shook.
After a few deep sighs,
Diane's first words were "I love you." No, she wasn't suddenly feeling affectionate, I believe it was her way of saying "Nice job, thank you for keeping me alive."
I just sat there for a while, I could NOT think, and I didn't know where my thinking should begin.
I know one thing though, I really hate where I had to pull this thing off ,,, it's on the outside of a turn to the left, meaning that all these trucks flying past at 70 mph had better be paying attention to the curve in the road, if not they will be wearing a Santa Fe as a hood ornament!
I told her we have to get out, can't stay in here, it's not safe so she crossed a little gully and then climbed an incline in tall, coarse, grass, that actually hurt to sit down in.
I looked at the tire and I expected to find it shredded, but all it looked like was flat. Once again I'm saying how glad I was to have done the proper thing and get all new tires before the trip.
With our hearts finally dropping our pulse rates back under 200, we finally got to the "Ok, now what?" stage.
I have changed many a spare tire in my life, especially in my younger days, but never the Santa Fe's.
I DO know that the spare is underneath the car somewhere, to get at it it must be "cranked" down, and I'm not even sure where the jack and wrenches are, but I'm sure they are in here, somewhere.
I have also never even seen the spare, and I'm assuming it's one of those "donut" types, not a real tire, and let's see, the car is a 2003, this is 2011, so that tire has been sitting under there for 8 years, what are the odds of it haveing any air in it?
But let me give you the real reason I don't want to change the tire myself:
People are often killed on the side of a highway doing just that.
I don't know if they have come up with a scientific phrase yet for it, but it's a proven fact that cars on the shoulder of a highway will actually DRAW other cars into it!
People see the car on the side and it takes over all their attention where the harder they try not to, they still run into it.
This is especially true at night, when lights are in play, especially police cruiser lights, cops hate pulling over cars to ticket them at night.
And here we are, sitting on the outside of the curve too.
Diane said it then, and I agreed:
"Why don't you call
AAA? Isn't that what they're there for?"
I really felt wussy doing this, but heck, that is what they are supposed to be for, right?
I have never called them in my life, I had no idea how that worked with them, I just join to get the Disney and motel discounts, that's why I had to be careful when I just told the story about locking the car keys in the car before her surgery, for that was then the SECOND time I called them.
Smidgy actually did the calling, and was it hard to hear on this crappy throw-away phone we have, and trying to hear on the side of an interstate with the trucks screaming past and the wind noise,, but she finally got to where somebody would be coming out of the town behind us, Salem, in an hour, and they will call us right before they come so wait for the call.
The dispatcher asked if we had a spare, I told Diane to tell them yeah but it may be flat, whoever comes out better have a compressor to fill it with.
Nothing to do now, except wait.
And shiver.
How many of you think that at a time like this, it wouldn't be right
if it didn't start to rain?
Oh, all of you, well, you're all correct, a light rain started.
By the way,,, the pickup truck that was tailgating us and saw what happened kept going, no offer of help from him.
45 minutes later,, another pick up truck pulled over and I thought it might be our guy,,,, uh uh, it was a guy who could barely speak English, but asked if there was something he could do. I told him no, but thank you, and he left.
An hour had passed and he was still the only one to stop.
Having "all the time in the world", I started thinking, and the way I saw it we were going to need a new tire, which we probably won't be able to get until Effingham, which is stil up ahead, which means we are more than likely going to spend the night again in Effingham.
Hopefully we'll be able to find a place this afternoon that can match up the same tires,,, they gotta have a Goodyear in Effingham, then once again we can leave in the morning in the never-ending story.
The rain kept up also, not hard, but definately annoying.
Smidgy went back for an umbrella, and asked if she should grab the other one for me, too.
"NO!" I vehemently told her.
It was bad enough I'm being a wuss and not changing my own tire, but I'm not going to be looking like Mary Poppins when triple A pulls up!
An hour passed, still no call, Diane tries to call them back.
But now she can't get service,,,,NOTHING, no service to anywhere,,,, and the battery is NOT dead!
She had been getting messages during the trip that she needed to "Top off", which made no sense because she has automatic top off, they just yank the money out of our account when they need to.
She was able to contact Virgin Mobile right now, though it was impossible to hear.
Would you believe it? They had JUST NOW killed the phone service for not topping off, even though it should have been done automatically!
That's why AAA hasn't called us back,,,,, THEY COULDN"T!
We. Were. LIVID!
Here we are, stranded on the side of a highway, and Virgin Mobile chooses now to turn off her phone!
She got a rep on the line and they didn't know why it didn't top off on it's own, like always, but she was able to do it herself, then called back AAA who had indeed been trying to get a hold of us.
Another 15 minutes later and another pick up truck pulls over, this time it was Triple A.
Then a cub scout got out and walked over to us.
He did not look like he had even started shaving yet, and I knew in an instant I was going to hear, "Like" an awful lot in the next 20 minutes.
"Hey man, like, what's up?"
Yep.
I explained all that I knew, he went and got a hydraulic jack from the pick-up.
As I said, I've never done this before on the Santa Fe, and I didn't know right away where the "crank" down thing is,,, AAA said it's inside, underneath our life's belongings and we started unloading the back as trucks are thundering past, scaring the crap out of me!
Then I saw something on the edge where the hatch closes,,,"Hey, what's this?" "Is this what we're looking for?"
"Oh yeah man, pretty sure, that's, like, it." And he's looking at me as if
I had just made the most incredible discovery.
Then he went back to his truck and brought back one of those four handled black lug nut wrenches, but first he put the jack under and started bringing the car in the air.
I shook my head:
"Hold it, don't you want to break the lug nuts loose, first?"
"Oh yeah, man, right.' And he started doing just that, you don't want to have to put a lot of strain on the tire when the car is precariously up in the air.
He got 3 broken loose, but then he was stumped, he's not strong enough to do it on the fourth and fifth nut and now he has the wrench on it and he's about to jump up and down on it.
I had pictures of him falling backwards into rt. 57 in front of a semi and disgustedly told him to get out of the way, and I went and busted the last two loose, which now put a look of awe on the guy's face.
He cranks the car up well enough and pulls the bad tire off and we both look for what caused this extra-curricular activity we are engaged in:
There it is, what looks like a huge piece of plastic,,, or better yet, pottery, was stuck in between the treads.
Pottery?
On the highway during a construction zone?
What, are the IDOT workers having Arts and Crafts Shows during their lunch hours?
We then went to the back of the Santa Fe again to crank down the spare. I'm staying right with him, all my trust went out the window by now.
He looks at the cover plate that has to be removed first that has a huge long slot in it, and asked me for a screwdriver.
" Um, excuse me, but I think we have a role reversal problem, you see, YOU are the roadside assistance with the tools, while I am the helpless motorist.
He doesn't have a screwdriver,
and now he's just staring at the plastic cover with the slot in bewilderment.
I sighed, pulled a quarter out of my pocket and removed the cover with the quarter in the slot.
He now has a look of shock and awe on his face, he wouldn't have been more impressed if I had parted the Seven Seas Lagoon so the tourists could reach the Promised Parking Lot.
"Oh wow man, are you like in that high IQ club only a few dudes can get in?"
"Well yes," I had to tell him, "We both have been in Mental for over ten years now.
Using the same lug nut wrench, he now is killing himself trying to crank down the tire, this is something that has never been done before and it's a bit rusted and not moving too smoothly.
And again, he wasn't strong enough and I had to do it.
Around that time, finally, a state trooper pulled up with a plainclothes with him.
We have sat here now about an hour and half, this is the very first one we saw, certainly, the first one to stop.
He stopped, said hi, chatted for exactly one minute and left, leaving me still with "The Dude".
Smidgy called me up on the grass, "What are you doing down there, I thought the idea was to have him fix it, not you."
"Yeah, funny how things work out, huh?" " He wasn't strong enough and I don't want to stay here all day."
Well, in the end, Hyundai surprised me:
The tire that was under there the last 8 or so years still looked real good, PLUS it was a full size tire.
I stuck my tire gage on it and it showed 22 pounds, better then I ever would have guessed.
I asked Dude if he had an extra gallon of gas in the truck for me, I figured that would be a staple, but he just stared at me.
I asked him if he had a compressor to fill the tire up with,,,,yes, that's right,,,
he just stared at me.
I watched him the rest of the way, when he was all finished I gave him ten bucks for a tip, although I thought he should have tipped me. If I had done it all myself we would have been done a lot sooner, although his hydraulic jack was a big help and a lot quicker.
5 miles up the road we exited and at the top of the overpass was a gas station/air.
I filled up the tank and I filled up the tire WITHOUT it hissing at me. No reason now to have to spend the night downstate, I'll get a new tire back home.
I can't really describe the car's mood the rest of the way home,,,, when we thought no more could go wrong, it STILL did, but oddly, even though our confidence in all things driving and trips is now shot, I/we, feel like we can deal with whatever gets thrown our way.
Getting into Chicago around 6:30 had us missing most of rush hour, so that actually worked out well for us, pulled into the driveway at 7:30, just as it started darking out.
Just before she hopped out to move the Elantra out of the garage to make room, I stopped her by grabbing her arm, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek,
"I love you too."
WOW!! OMG, I would have been freaking out over the tire going flat. I am really glad I read this, I always worry and wonder what I would do in that situation. I will now think "remember what Nebo" did if that ever happens to me.
. I am still really bummed that we will be missing you guys in May. Thank you so much for sharing your trip and your lives with us. 
Now I am panicking about driving in August
