Over the Top Prom invites- Is this now a thing?

[marcyinPA]

My DS's prom was on a private yacht on the Hudson River last year. His HS does this venue every other year. It was $130 per person and included the charter bus from PA and back, dinner, DJ, and dancing. The venue was large enough to hold the JRS and SRS- I think there were something like 1300 kids. The good part about this is they do bag checks before they board the buses, and once they are on the yacht, they are captive. The school resource officer goes too- police presence is generally a good thing.

He said it was fun- and the pictures were nice (NYC skyline) but his girlfriend (now ex) was seasick most of the night.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

My was DD asked to Prom this weekend. The invitation came with a Harry Potter theme. Complete with an owl balloon delivering a book and a message and then clues to get her through the book to the Prom invite. It was very cute.

I got to work this morning and my boss showed me a DVD of her son's invite to his girlfriend. He utilized the scoreboard at the football stadium and even had fireworks on the screen after she said yes.

Is this something else that we can attribute to social media? Is it a "thing" every where?

I kind of feel sorry for the boys. It's not enough any more to get up the nerve to ask a girl, now you have to have some type of presentation.

If she says no, will she get a Howler?

 

[mefordis]

Why do adults get so enraged about the promposals? Why do they care? It has nothing to do with the adults. It's something fun for high school kids. You aren't supposed to get it - you are old! LOL!

 

[KaLyn]

Why do adults get so enraged about the promposals? Why do they care? It has nothing to do with the adults. It's something fun for high school kids. You aren't supposed to get it - you are old! LOL!

They won't understand until they are "old" too.

 

[JanaDee]

Wow!! That is pricey! My DS's tux was $85 without shoes last year. We opted to go to a local mom and pop rental place, and he picked a very basic tux. Easy peasy and relatively cheap!

The cheapest tux they rented was $149, but the fit wasn't that great. DS choose the $199 option, which is a more modern-looking tux and the fit is much better on him since he is tall.

By the time you add in taxes and fees, it was close to $250.

 

[JanaDee]

That is still 750 cheaper than a prom dress. I can get both of my son's a tux for less than my dd's dress at todays rate, so I'd consider the 250 a steal!!

Yeah, sorry, there is no way I am paying $1000 for a prom dress for DD. My wedding gown didn't even cost that much.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Why do adults get so enraged about the promposals? Why do they care? It has nothing to do with the adults. It's something fun for high school kids. You aren't supposed to get it - you are old! LOL!

Who exactly is enraged? I haven't read every post but I see more people chuckling at it or rolling their eyes than enraged.

 

[leebee]

This is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard. All that just for prom? If I would ask a girl to prom and she said "no it has to be done with fan fair", I would be looking for another date or go stag with a bunch of friends.

I so totally agree! It's a high school dance, not a wedding or the birth of a child. If this is what these girls are expecting as an invitation to a dance, how let down will they be, or how high will their expectations be, over a basic "will you marry me" wedding proposal?

 

[Katy Belle]

Yes, this is a "thing" here. A friend of mine who's the mother of boys says there's a little something else behind it: She says it's hard /impossible for a girl to say NO when it's a very public thing. So, yes, the boy has to "put himself out there" to do the ask . . . but he's practically assured of a YES.

Note to all mothers of girls: Be sure to talk to your daughters about how to politely turn down an invitation, even if it's very public.

Mothers of SONS too! My boys have been invited to formal dances by girls. There is one formal dance here that was a Sadie Hawkins dance, long, long, ago. It is not advertised as such now, but the tradition still lingers on. I talked with my boys about how to turn down an invitation graciously, and still make it possible to go with someone else. You don't want them to say, "I don't want to go to that dance." Or "I have other plans" if they really are intending to ask someone else. Its tricky stuff, for girls and boys.

I wrote earlier in the thread about a girl dressing up as a zombie and inviting DS16 to Winter Formal. He was taken completely by surprise.

 

[traviesojmt]

When was the last time you rented a tux? DS's was close to $250 for his upcoming prom.

Goodness. Thankfully we got away much cheaper. My DS' tux, with everything, costs $134.00. Of course, I don't know any of the girls at his school who spend anything close to $1000 on their prom dress. One of the girls on his track team was laughing that she spent more on her track shoes than she did her prom dress. My DS' date's dress cost just over $100. It is very pretty too.

 

[sj&k]

I'm sorry for your DD. The same thing happened to my DD last year. After a Fortune Cookie promposal, he cancelled on her due to a conflict. I didn't like him to begin with and DD actually took it better than I did. I was angry about the expense- mostly at his parents as they could have avoided the conflict. They did eventually break up but the Prom incident was just one event in a not good relationship. In the end, she went with a large group of friends- girls, boys, couples- and had the time of her life. She was dating a Junior the year before and went then too. She honestly had more fun with the group last year than the date Sophomore year. So much so, that she and her current boyfriend (both seniors) are planning to spend most of the night with a larger group.

I hope your DD's experience is similar.

I appreciate that. It's good to hear she's not alone, and I'll share your daughter's story with her. Hopefully she and her best friend will be able to arrange a group to go with (they have about a month before prom) but if not I know she'll meet up with friends there and have a great time. The expense is part of my issue, too, and the fact that he knew I'd been consigning clothes and saving for her dress and all the other expenses since she started showing me the pictures of her older friends going last year. He'd even ask me on occasion how the prom dress fund was going. He and I have always had a pretty good relationship, and we've treated him like a member of the family almost from the start, so the way he handled this both with my daughter and my husband and myself has been beyond inconsiderate. I've seen him a couple of times since he cancelled on her, because he's still coming to her soccer games, and where he would normally sit with us and talk during the game, he's sitting by himself and avoiding eye contact. I would like to think he's feeling bad about everything but I'm not sure at this point. He did apologize to my daughter but it wasn't immediate. My daughter and I are both friendly with his mother and saw her last week. I had initially held her partially responsible for the lack of communication but learned from her that she was not aware that he and/or his research partner had applied for the science competition until they were accepted to attend, and even then she found out via a forwarded email. My daughter has a forgiving nature and will more than likely take him back sooner or later, but I am going to have to work on having the same relationship I had with him. This was not the first time he chose an academic function that is not required for him to participate in over doing something my daughter wanted to do, and I doubt it will be the last if their relationship continues. I completely understand why he does it, but it is possible to balance the two and that's what he needs to work on.

 

[Disney Doll]

Tell your DD to cut him loose. Inconsiderate now, inconsiderate later.

As far as these promposals, while I don't verbally care what they do I think it's another symptom of the "me, me, me it's all about me" generation.

 

[sj&k]

Tell your DD to cut him loose. Inconsiderate now, inconsiderate later.

As far as these promposals, while I don't verbally care what they do I think it's another symptom of the "me, me, me it's all about me" generation.

Trust me, I've talked to her about it. As it is they're going in completely different directions college-wise, geographically and otherwise, after next school year so I'm not sure how long they'd be able to maintain a relationship after that. He's her first long-term boyfriend though, so it's hard for her to just cut him loose completely. We'll see what happens.

 

[MrsPete]

Yeah, sorry, there is no way I am paying $1000 for a prom dress for DD. My wedding gown didn't even cost that much.

Yeah, I gave my girls a $200 budget. That is, I told them I'd pay $200 for the entire outfit, and it's not been a problem.

Her junior year my oldest chose a dress that busted the budget -- she had to pay a few dollars tax from her own money. She wore my shoes and carried a clutch purse of mine.

Her senior year she lucked into a dress on the $50 clearance rack. She asked if she could have the rest of the budget for other clothes, and I said yes. After all, isn't that how adult budgets work? If you skimp in one area, you have money for something else elsewhere. She wore the same pair of my shoes from her junior year but bought a $5 purse and some jewelry.

My youngest, a junior, is having an old, all-lace dress re-worked (her choice, and it'll be in the $50 range). She's having the large bow/sash removed and made into something smaller. She'll need shoes and a purse. And a necklace. But she'll be well under her $200 budget.

There's no need for a $1000 dress.

 

[Art 1]

Yeah, I gave my girls a $200 budget. That is, I told them I'd pay $200 for the entire outfit, and it's not been a problem.

Her junior year my oldest chose a dress that busted the budget -- she had to pay a few dollars tax from her own money. She wore my shoes and carried a clutch purse of mine.

Her senior year she lucked into a dress on the $50 clearance rack. She asked if she could have the rest of the budget for other clothes, and I said yes. After all, isn't that how adult budgets work? If you skimp in one area, you have money for something else elsewhere. She wore the same pair of my shoes from her junior year but bought a $5 purse and some jewelry.

My youngest, a junior, is having an old, all-lace dress re-worked (her choice, and it'll be in the $50 range). She's having the large bow/sash removed and made into something smaller. She'll need shoes and a purse. And a necklace. But she'll be well under her $200 budget.

There's no need for a $1000 dress.

My daughter would have died, I think her dress was $1600.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My daughter would have died, I think her dress was $1600.

That's a little excessive for just a dress. I think with my dress, shoes, and jewelry I probably hit that mark.

 

[cepmom]

Yeah, I gave my girls a $200 budget. That is, I told them I'd pay $200 for the entire outfit, and it's not been a problem. Her junior year my oldest chose a dress that busted the budget -- she had to pay a few dollars tax from her own money. She wore my shoes and carried a clutch purse of mine. Her senior year she lucked into a dress on the $50 clearance rack. She asked if she could have the rest of the budget for other clothes, and I said yes. After all, isn't that how adult budgets work? If you skimp in one area, you have money for something else elsewhere. She wore the same pair of my shoes from her junior year but bought a $5 purse and some jewelry. My youngest, a junior, is having an old, all-lace dress re-worked (her choice, and it'll be in the $50 range). She's having the large bow/sash removed and made into something smaller. She'll need shoes and a purse. And a necklace. But she'll be well under her $200 budget. There's no need for a $1000 dress.

Glad I'm not the only one not spending $1000 for a prom dress!! That's just crazy....DDs dress was $130, shoes $15, jewelry TBD (shopping tonight for that but i expect it to be l
fairly inexpensive )hair and nails should be around $100. It's a dance! At our school it's held in the cafeteria for goodness sake, there's no way Id pay more than I already am for this lol!

 

[stitcharoonie]

I think we spent around $200 for everything

 

[mickeyboat]

To the PPs whose daughters lost their dates after they ordered their dresses, the same thing happened to me in high school way back when. And back then kids did not really go as big groups of singles, so I was out the deposit for the dress. I lived!

 

[BadgerGirl84]

My daughter would have died, I think her dress was $1600.

Dang. I didn't spend that much on my bridal dress, accessories hair and makeup trial, nails and day-of hair and makeup.

My dress was $800, Veil $50, Shoes $50, Hair and Makeup Trial: $75, Day of hair and makeup: $120, Jewelry: $40, Shellac Manicure: $35. If my DD wants to spend that much on prom I will scream!