Our trip is cancelled :(

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

ok so i see from replies on last page that there is a divorce in the makings...

i will read up before i post a more intelligent reply...let me say that our trip to disney was booked 5 months before dh decided he didn't want to have a family or have a family life anymore and walked out on me. i am going to read up on the info that the OP has provided, and OP if i can offer any suggestions (as Iam going thru this all RIGHT NOW) i will pm you. For the time being, stay strong and good luck!

 

[disqueen2]

My heart and prayers go out to you. I went through a similar situation about 6 years ago, except for me, there was a 22 year old female involved. Just know that things WILL get better, even if they seem like they will not. Even though it seems so bad, try to move on and focus on your children. That's what got me through the worst of it. Once again, I am so sorry you have to go through this.

 

[officer tigger]

I was 13 years old when my dad decided he did not want to be a husband or a father anymore. He left us and my mom worked long hours to try and raise me and my sister.
My thoughts and prays go out to you. Try and stay strong and seek help with the divorce process. Don't let him dictate to you how the process is going to take place. You have rights to everything that was aquired during the marriage.
It's easy for us on here to say what we would do in this situation, but we never know until it happens to us. Just remember that you have plenty of friends on this board that are willing to help out in some way.

 

[JulyGirl]

I won't be taking my WDW trip , with or without the kids. I've been a stay at home mom for 15 years and I have to make the big step of finding a full time job and trying to find a place to live. F

I'm sorry to hear this. Stay strong. I know the future is uncertain, but how you react in the next few months will determine the path you will take. Don't be afraid to come to the Dis and vent or seek advice. If you have never posted on the Community Board, give it a try. There are many nice people who have been in your shoes.

 

[luvmyboys]

and a whole lotta

 

[bobcat]

It's also ok to hold onto the little or frivilous things to help you get through these tough times. Before my divorce I was always trying to get the ex to go on a vacation, especially to WDW, but he never wanted to go. After the divorce and when I was in my last semester of college I planed a trip to WDW with my two kids, then 4 and 6, rented a car and went. Looking forward to that trip was a life saver in so many ways. It was a way to celebrate my independence and upcoming graduation and was money well spent. You may still be able to take this vacation at a later time with your kids. Hang in there and it will get better, I promise!

 

[bytheblood]

For all of you who have been through this hurtful situation and especially for those of you going through it now, my heart goes out to you. I cannot image my husband telling me he is done.

and lots of prayers for you all!

 

[twinklebug]

It's also ok to hold onto the little or frivilous things to help you get through these tough times. Before my divorce I was always trying to get the ex to go on a vacation, especially to WDW, but he never wanted to go. After the divorce and when I was in my last semester of college I planed a trip to WDW with my two kids, then 4 and 6, rented a car and went. Looking forward to that trip was a life saver in so many ways. It was a way to celebrate my independence and upcoming graduation and was money well spent. You may still be able to take this vacation at a later time with your kids. Hang in there and it will get better, I promise!

Keep your vacation in your arsenol, not to use against your husband, but instead to help bolster your own self esteem and get some well deserved rest and fun with the kids when the time is right.

After 14 1/2 years of marriage I'm going through the same thing. You've gotten a lot of good advice here, starting with get a consultation with a lawyer ASAP. It may take awhile to be fit in with one but when you finally sit down with one she/he will make you feel so much more secure about your rights (starting off with stating that a SAHM (in MA) will have the kids AND the house - no judge would deem otherwise unless there were special circumstances such as drug abuse)

Do talk with Disney and your airlines to get everything refunded if possible. Don't be embarrassed to let them know the circumstances - unfortunately divorce seems to be all too common these days and could be considered an emergency situation that they'd make an exception for.

Kids are just too smart. Yours knew something was up and probably to keep the peace they felt they had to go along with what your soon2BxDH wanted. 15 and 12 is still quite young. They will be seeking any way to try and bring the family back together and even blame themselves. I know you still may not understand your DH's reasons, but reassure the kids that it has nothing to do with them nor is there any way for them to magicly make it better. Also, you may want to make sure they understand that Disney was not the scissors that cut the family apart just so when you do plan on taking that vacation they embrace it as wholehearted fun and don't resent it. Give it time and in the not so far off future let them help plan your family trip - just the 4 of you (wow - look a silver lining already - a family of 4 fits nicely into many of the resort rooms! )

Be a tough cookie - this will be for the best in the long run!
Let us know if & when you need to chat!

 

[dsnymomof4]

Wow - I just checked this thread after posting a while ago. OP - so sorry to hear the bad news- you must be devastated. Especially if you didn't see it coming. I just want to say that I think it's so great that so many other Disers are posting their support. It's nice to be part of a community where we all have something in common and feel a sort of bond with each other. While it might be hard to tell someone face to face about personal problems such as this, it's nice to be able to come here and get support from others who may have gone through the same situation. It seems like you have been given some great advice, so I'll only add my hugs and prayers to you and your family.

 

[blsx3]

What can I say, this may be a first. Our upcoming trip in Feb has been cancelled. Why? The 3 kids and hubby don't want to go anymore ! We pre-paid for airfare, so we're out 5 RT tickets. $1250.00 down the drain and it doesn't seem to matter to any of them. The tix are non refundable and have a $100.00 per tix fee to change the travel date. It doesnt matter, though, since the 4 of them are no longer interested in WDW. Can you believe this? This would have only been their 2nd trip back and they don't want to go !!

Leave them at home and go


If they don't want to go,,,change the names on the airline tix,,sounds like us airways,,,there shouldn't be a charge for name change,,,and find 5 friends to go with you and split the cost of the resort....i'm sure you can find 4 more people on this site that would group together with you...

 

[snowbunny]

Leave them at home and go


If they don't want to go,,,change the names on the airline tix,,sounds like us airways,,,there shouldn't be a charge for name change,,,and find 5 friends to go with you and split the cost of the resort....i'm sure you can find 4 more people on this site that would group together with you...

Huh? The OP is scrambling to keep her life together over the coming months. I seriously doubt that leaving her kids with DH who has filed papers and jetting off to WDW with friends is going to be helpful to her in any way at this point.

 

[musicmom3]

OP--It can help to take things one day at a time. My first marriage ended so very badly and turned me into the president of the man-hater's club...or so I thought. Not only was the marriage fractured, the children were, too. Now I am remarried to the best man in the world. The children are healing. I continue to heal. Sometimes we cannot even imagine what is in store for us. It is difficult but you must keep going, and keep growing. I am sending good vibes your way.

 

[Lives4Disney]

Dollcollector - I am so sorry. My heart is broken for you.

I am a stay at home mom of 3 kids that hasn't had a job in 16 yrs - I can relate. I am going on 18 yrs of marriage and so far so good, but who knows. No guarantees. My dad left my mom after 20 yrs of marriage.

I hope it all works out for you for the better in the end. It did for my mom.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Lives4Disney

 

[Trekker]

Hi All

Since this thread is no longer a resorts, trip planning thread it is being moved to the community board.

Please feel free to continue your DIScussion on that board!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

Huh? The OP is scrambling to keep her life together over the coming months. I seriously doubt that leaving her kids with DH who has filed papers and jetting off to WDW with friends is going to be helpful to her in any way at this point.

Easy, snowbunny. The poster you quoted is a newbie, and clearly hasn't been following.

blsx3, for future reference, it's usually a good idea to skim through some posts before posting, just in case there are any new developments.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Stay strong. We are all here for you!

 

[rkrivas]

I'm so sorry to hear your news! Please stay strong. I know you want to keep things as amicable as possible, but also please ensure that you make taking care of your children and yourself a top priority.

I may be going through something similar with my husband and just want to say that the posters on DIS have so much wonderful advice and kind thoughts to share.

 

[azgal81]

What a sad and drastic turn of events for the OP. Hang in there

 

[joshsmom]

When I read the first couple of posts, I had so much I wanted to say. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me), I continued to read and found the "reason" for the change of heart.

I am SO SORRY that you are going through this right now. It truly makes my problems seem quite mundane and petty. But I've been in your shoes. Although the circumstances were very different, I've been through the process and I can only imagine your pain. My prayers are with you.

 

[ADisneygirl]

OP, I am devastated for you. I know how you feel as I was once in your exact shoes. My advice? Do as others have said here - do not leave your home. Let him move out. Get a lawyer as soon as possible. It is hard if not impossible to believe that your beloved husband can do things not in your best interest, but believe me they can. It all comes down to money in the end and how he can make a new life for himself while holding on to as much of his money as he can. Believe me.

Prayer said for you and your children. Divorce is a painful, terrible thing on everyone. I know that no words can really comfort you, but know that many here will be thinking of you and worrying about you. Focus on your children - that's what got me through. Take care.