Our 1st trip home as DVC members...Part 17...Tarzan Rocks, but so does Dix! THE END

off to neverland

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Cast:
Me, Rae
Dix, 43, Great guy who who makes Love Coffee
Boo, 4.95 year-old picky eater wearing a Brat Hat
Sis, 1.95 year-old
Goldi Locks, Nice DVC member who traded her points with us
Laser-accuser guy: Nice man helping out with world safety
Check-in couple:: Nice couple who checked in for flight the same time as us
Mr. Customs Man: Grumpy, serious guy in uniform with no patience for drugs or childbirth
Mr. And Mrs. No Manners: Rude people who pop up with different faces throughout our trip
Cute little girl in the front: Loud mouth who unintentionally traumatizes kids young kids on rides
Cousin: Make-up-less advisor whose areas of expertise include hats and droopy b**b prevention
My Dad: Fearless landrover driver who makes great spaghetti
My Mom: Woman who loves blue and might show up unannounced
Love-Boat-bellhop-guy: CM who likes to rescue damsels in distress
Shoe Girl: Girl who wears the most inappropriate Walt Disney World shoes EVER!
Sleazy Viagra Guy: No explanation needed for him
The German Hottie: Biergarten girl involved in the mysterious disappearance of the DDE confirmation
Backward Woman: Woman who entered monorail backward
Duke: Memory from the past


Inventory of important trip items:
Three new premium annual passes
Fancy Laser Camera
Soaking wet Unofficial Guide to Disneyworld
Lost Disney Dining Experience cards
Brat Hat
Old Key West Key Card
Love Coffee
Biergarten Birthday Cake
Nonexistent swim shorts
Five Dollar S’more kit
Jumbo bag of marshamallows



I walked around the villa gathering up our things to take home. We had little to pack since Dix and I had purposefully traveled lightly this trip and had managed to squeeze all our belongings into one suitcase. When I came to the kitchen, I wondered what to do with the huge bag of marshmallows and the leftover S’more kit. I hated to just throw them away, but didn’t want to pack them, either. What to do?

In the end I decided I would leave them behind for housekeeping.

I was sad to be leaving this Old Key West room. I liked it here. I was excited to try some of the other DVC resorts in the future, but knew I wouldn’t be disappointed if they weren’t available for our future trips and we had to return to Old Key West instead.

Dix dressed the kids while I finished packing, and before I could obsess anymore about my sadness about leaving, we were in the car and waving good-bye to Old Key West. I kept thinking we should stop or somehow mark this “good-bye” occasion, but Dix drove out of the gates before I could think of any new ceremony.

Oh well, I don’t like good-byes anyway.

On our way to Animal Kingdom, Dix and I discussed our upcoming flight. We decided the setting was perfect: Sis was exhausted from going to bed so late the night before and rising so early this morning. The flight left around her normal naptime, so she would definitely sleep well on the flight home.

Life was good.

We arrived at Animal Kingdom at opening, and walked straight to Restaurantosaurus for our character breakfast. We first checked in at a podium where our names were handwritten on a piece of paper and piled on a stack of other names. Eventually a Cast member carried the stack over to another podium by the entrance of the restaurant where the names were handed to the servers or hostess when he/she came out to seat another tables.

Needless to say, check-in took a very long time, even though the restaurant was only half full! I wondered if perhaps this slow check-in was done on purpose to seat people in waves so that the characters could meet everyone at one time, or was this just a simple case of inefficiency?

I had been hesitant to book our character breakfast here because I had read several not-so-shining reviews. I am happy to report to you all that this breakfast exceeded my expectations, and I would go back in a minute! I thought the variety and quality of the food was great, and loved the fact that there were fresh Crispy Kreme donuts as part of the buffet!

Our server was terrific, too. It was Boo’s actual birthday this day, and the server went out of his way to make it special for Boo. Not only did he sing “Happy Birthday” to him, he included him in several magic tricks he performed around the restaurant. He was loud, funny, and helpful and he also gave me the Disney Dining Experience discount without the confirmation sheet. He said he trusted me when I told him I was a DDE member, and though I appreciated his trust, I was a bit disappointed that he didn’t need to hear my funny story about the mysterious DDE switch at Biergarten!

I’d have to save that story for my trip report.

When breakfast was finished, we had about an hour-and-a-half before we had to leave for the airport. I contemplated letting the kids play in the Dinosaur Dig since we hadn’t done that yet, but decided that the last thing we needed was sand down their pants during the long flight home. Instead, we took a few runs on Triceratop Spin and then walked over to Tarzan Rocks.

I’ve read several poor reviews of Tarzan Rocks, including one in my beloved Unofficial Guide. I have to take the unpopular stand here and admit that I really enjoyed it. Though it wasn’t Lion King, by any means, it was upbeat and fun, and a nice finale to our last few moments at Disney.

The kids seemed to enjoy the music, and Boo waited with baited breath to see Tarzan. He was worried he would miss Tarzan swinging from the trees. What if he passed by too fast? What if he had already appeared and we had missed him? What if they didn’t show Tarzan at all?

I assured Boo that Tarzan was the star of the show and there was no way we could miss him.

When Tarzan finally appeared swinging from the trees, Boo breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back to relax and watch the rest of the performance.

I studied Tarzan. In his loincloth, all of his muscles showed. As I watched him, I couldn’t help but think that although Dix probably wouldn’t be very good swinging gracefully in the trees, he was just as muscular as Tarzan and certainly more attractive to me.

I leaned over and whispered my observations in Dix’s ear.

After ten years of marriage, I’m still able to make him blush!

We walked out of Tarzan with a spring in our step. Tarzan Rocks! was exactly what we needed to counter the melancholy of leaving.

We had a few more minutes to spare before heading to the airport, so we stopped at one of the gift shops in Animal Kingdom. I don’t remember the name of it, or where it was, but it must have been somewhere on the path between Tarzan and the exit. Anyway, I loved that shop! We ended up breaking our rule about shopping only one time per trip and bought Sorry game for Boo, a pen for Abby, and a parade music CD for me.

When we left the gift shop, I didn’t bother putting Sis in her stroller, and instead held her as we walked out of the park. She snuggled her head into my neck as we walked, and I enjoyed feeling her soft, sweet breath on my skin.

So little, so precious….

Dix’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Rae, what are you doing?”

What was I doing? What was he talking about?

I looked at him and he nodded accusingly toward Sis, and I realized she had just fallen asleep on my shoulder. My snuggling had put her to sleep. Oh no!

I’m sure I need not remind you all about Sis’s 12.5 minute sleep rule but in case you forgot, here it is from Part 14:
It was very simple. If you transfer her out of the car within 12.5 minutes of her falling asleep, she will remain asleep. If you transfer her even one second after your 12.5-minute window is up, she will wake and will not go back to sleep for the rest of the day. She will be miserable, and so will you.

Sis could not sleep now if we wanted her to sleep on the plane! I held Sis out in front of me and gave her a shake. She didn’t wake. Dix pulled her shirt up and blew on her stomach and she still didn’t move.

This was a first for us. Except for when she was an infant, Sis has never fallen asleep anywhere except in the car or her crib. Dix and I have often commented that she’s not a “sleep on the go” kind of kid. This day she proved us wrong because here she was, sound asleep on the go with no hope of waking up.

The week at Disney had finally taken it’s toll on her. There was nothing we could do.

As we drove to the airport, we watched for a gas station to fill the car up before returning it to the rental agency. Boo complained that he had to go Number Two, and Dix and I kept assuring him he could go at the gas station we hoped to find.

When we realized the airport was fast approaching and there would not be a gas station stop, Dix pulled over to the side of the road. Boo was now terribly uncomfortable, and we knew he wouldn’t make it through the car rental return before we found a bathroom.

I sat in the car and watched Boo walk around in circles in a grassy clearing to find a good place to go. What is it with boys and dogs and finding the perfect place to leave their mark? Dix quietly followed at a distance but when Boo started to backtrack over places he had inspected before, Dix urged him to hurry.

Boo finally found the perfect spot, and I watched Dix while he waited for Boo. He paced, rubbed his chin like he does when he’s intently thinking about something, and then I saw him start to undo his belt.

Why do men like to pee in the grass?

We didn’t need two family members leaving their mark on the side of the road. I glared at him with all my might, and he felt my stare and met my eyes. He smiled and shrugged like he didn’t know what I was glaring about, and I leaned out the car window to hand him the wipes for Boo and said, “Don’t even think about it.”

“Tarzan would do it,” he countered.

Thank you God, for giving me a girl.

As the boys loaded back into the car, Sis woke. She had slept less than thirty minutes, and I knew we were doomed for the rest of the day. She would not be going back to sleep. Our Sis-will-sleep-on-the-plane plan had been foiled.

We turned the car back in to National Car Rental and boarded the elevator. As the door was closing, someone’s hand reached in to stop it from shutting. When the doors opened, I was ever so surprised to see the couple that had checked in with us at the airport the week earlier without their kids boarding the elevator with us!

We looked at each other in utter surprise! What were the odds that we would go through our airline check-in together in Canada, and return our rental cars and check in for the outgoing flight at the exact same time a week later?

I suppose it was a bit much to expect that our flight home would go as well as the flight the week before in which the kids had slept almost the entire way, Dix had giddily watched the private little television in front of him, and Boo had made a little friend. I should have realized that I should not take those hours of peace for granted!

The flight home would prove to be a disaster. After we loaded the plane, we proceeded to wait at the gate for over forty-five minutes for other passengers. We didn’t have the fancy TV screen at each seat that we had on the way down to keep the kids occupied. In fact, there was no TV or movie at all.

Nada. Zilch.

I have often explained to people that tiredness does not slow my children down, it speeds them up. The more tired they are, the faster they go. Dix and I had been too cheap to buy our exhausted little girl her own seat, and she sat on our laps and went into overdrive as a result of her exhaustion. She kicked, fought, fussed, complained, and wiggled for the entire trip. If there is anything you take from my trip report, please let it be that if you have an almost-two-year-old and are considering being cheap and not buying them their own airline seat, DONT DO IT!!!! Fork out the dough to get them their own seat and then strap them down as tightly as you can.

In an attempt to simply get Sis off our laps and give ourselves a break from the fidgeting, we lifted up the armrests and I balanced halfway between Boo’s seat my own so that Sis could sit by herself in my half of the seat. Sis liked that, but I couldn’t do it for long because the lifted armrest was digging into my spine and became unbearable after a while.

We resorted to Dix taking long trips to the bathroom so that Sis could sit in his seat, and we even let her sit on the floor in front of us and play with our shoes just to have her off our laps. We also fed her every bit of junk food and snack available from the diaper bag, and when she was full and could eat no more, Dix and I devoured it all to counter our stress until we were nearly sick.

In an attempt to help lull her to sleep, Dix tried several times to have Sis put her head on his shoulder while he jiggled and bounced her in his seat. Though she enjoyed the movement, she never came close to sleeping, and his back and neck became very sore from his gyrations.

I wondered why my daughter couldn’t be a “sleep-on-the-go” kind of child. Other kids slept when they were tired rather than act as if they were hyped up on crack cocaine.

Dix and I frequently checked our watches in a silent countdown to landing. When at last we thought we only had an hour left, we reached our hands up to give each other a high-five.

The exact moment our hands slapped together, the flight attendant’s voice bellowed over the loudspeaker and interrupted our celebration. “Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. We only have two-and-a-half hours left of flight.”

Dix and I looked at each other in surprise. Two-and-a-half hours? He must be mistaken! Surely he meant an hour! I contemplated pushing our “help” button to summon him to our seats and inform him of his mistake, but instead waited until he walked down the aisle. As he passed, I lightly grabbed his arm and put on my best smile.

“Um, I think you made a mistake when you said we have two-and-a-half-hours left,” I was polite but to the point.

“No, ma’am. No mistake! The return flight takes much longer than the flight to Orlando because of headwinds. The headwinds today are especially bad so we have at least two-and-a-half-hours left.” He gave me a genuine smile, and actually looked like he was enjoying delivering this bad news to me.

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to cry, strangle him, or jump out of the window. I wished I had some Benadryl to give Sis to make her drowsy. I wished I had that blasted jumbo bag of marshmallows to let her play with just to get her to sit still! I wished I could strap her down in her own seat. I wished I had some adult drugs to knock myself out….

Anything, anything to get through the next two-and-a-half hours!!!!

It amazes me that Dix and I did not get in one argument or spat throughout this entire flight from hell. If anything, we survived the trip because of our mutual support. Seven years ago we would have responded to a stress like that by turning on each other like wolves, and the fight would have been on for hours.

Seven years ago we didn’t have kids.

Kids had pushed us to higher, calmer level.


After nearly six hours of physically fighting our wiggly daughter without using drugs, suicide, or any type of abuse, we finally made it home, safe and sound.

We had no problems retrieving our luggage or going through customs, and the kids and I waited patiently and quietly by the passenger pick-up door while Dix retrieved the car from the parking lot. Once he loaded the bags in the car and we had installed the kids’ car seats in the back seats, we were off for home.

None of us spoke as we watched the road in the darkness. There were few cars on the road and thin strands of smoke rose from the chimneys of several houses. I shivered as I watched big wet flakes of snow hit our windshield and melt. As I reached over to turn the heater up a few notches, I glanced behind the driver’s seat and smiled at Boo who was watching my fingers move the dial, and then craned my neck to see Sis behind my seat.

She sat there like an angel, wisps of blonde hair framing her round soft face and her small hands folded in her lap.

She was sound asleep.

***************************************

Part 1...We are NOT wanted by the FBI!!
Part 2...I am NOT a drug addict!!
Part 3...Who put this diaper on me?
Part 4... Just leave me for dead on the side of the road!
Part 5... Where is Dix?
Part 6... The Brat Hat!
Part 7...Why didn't I listen to Dix?
Part 8...The Hanky Panky Promise!
Part 9...Forgive me Zurg, for I have sinned.
Part 10...A thief in the crowd...
Part 11...Time for a break...
Part 12...I think I broke my elbow!
Part 13…The German Hottie!
Part 14...The Big Fight!
Part 15...Get your finger off my flab!
Part 16...Lost in the wilderness…
Part 17...Tarzan Rocks, but so does Dix! THE END...
 
Thank you --it's been wonderful reading your story! Del
 
Awesome!! I loved reading your reports!!

Amand
 
Excellent trip report, I enjoyed all of it!! I had to laugh about Sis not sleeping, exactly how my kids were so I could relate. One trip we had to circle for over an hour before we could land in Orlando and I just kept stuffing lollipops into dd's mouth. It was the only way to keep her from exploding!!!

Thanks for the time you put into your reports, can't wait for your next trip! :flower1:
 

Excellent!! My wife and I have both enjoyed your reports. They were all very entertaining and help us get over the wait for our next trip.
 
what a great report!!! I am so sad it's over!!! Know this was the last one I left it up and would only read it during comericals of American Idol to make it last as long as possible! Thank you!!!
 
I have followed your saga from the beginning, and I have truly enjoyed it.

But the visual of Sis sleeping from the airport to home has me LOL!

Thanks so much for sharing your adventure!
 
More, more, more!!!! Please do not make your fans wait till May.

I stayed up to 2am last night to finnish reading all the reports. Funny, funny stuff. My favorite is "get your finger off my flab." :rotfl2:
 
It took me awhile but I finally read all of your trip report. I loved it. I even caught myself laughing out loud at parts. Truely wonderful. I'm so glad you shared it with us.
 
I have really enjoyed reading your trip reports. I found myself logging in each day with anticipation of seeing how your next day would unwind. :) Looking forward to the next saga in May. ;)
 
OMG- I swear my eyes are watering. I am so sad........... All these days I anxiously have awaited another trip report, another fun and adventurous day in the life of your family visiting the world, enjoying Boo and Sis as if they were my own. What will I do now :confused3 . I can't believe it's all over, BUT........ what awesome memories you must have ! And, thank you for giving me such exciting moments that I now look forward to in TWO MORE months with my family ! And, I cannot believe she finally slept after a 6 hour plane ride,..... well I do believe it actually. Thank you for such "magic"al trip reports! :flower:
 
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this report. It was wonderful. I'll be looking for your May: Magical Gathering Trip Report!
 
I enjoyed your reports. You have a knack for writing. I felt as if I was there with your family...can't wait for the May reports!!!
 
Great report! And yep, my kids never would sleep on the go either. I was always amazed to see kids sleeping in shopping carts, in their strollers, etc.

I'm so glad you survived the flight! But sorry that I won't be able to find a new report from you tomorrow!

Thanks for taking the time to finish the report.
 
I am so happy to have had another good read, and so sad to see it end. I agree with minmaui, you do have a knack for writing. I felt your happiness, excitement, joy, and stress (on the plane especially ;) ) I can't wait untill you go in May! It's a long wait untill our September trip but reading these reports made it feel so much closer!

Kelly
 
:sunny: I have adored every word of your reports and am happy I won't have to wait too long to hear from you again :sunny:

Thanks for sharing :Pinkbounc
 
Thank you so much for your trip reports! I am so sad they are over. :sad1:

As for your little girl, what can you say? My ds7 is the same way. We usually drive to Florida and it never fails when we are about 15 minutes from our destination he decides to fall asleep. :scratchin I can't figure it out. This is of course after whining or arguing with his brother for about 6 1/2 hours. You just have to laugh!

Thanks again for the reports. You have a wonderful writing style, you should look into writing a book or something. :flower:
 
Thanks for the great trip report.Cant wait for your May trip.
 
Thank you for posting your trip report! I have totally enjoyed reading each part of it! Each day I looked forward to the next part :flower:
 












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