OT: What bizarre / funny "rules" do you have in your house?

[here757]

our rules... LOL

1 do not kick the cat or dog
2 no clapping
3 mom must be awake before we go swimming.
4 do not get ur sister out of her crib. (last time i found her downstairs alone.. swinging her diaper over her head, son was outside already)
5 only one thing for breakfast... not cool to make cereal , poptarts and toast all in the same morning.
6 no wrestling your little sister. shes only a year old and can diaper-plex anyone in the house

 

[Tinkh]

1. No ripping the towel bar off the wall to kill a large ant.........

2. Do not climb on the deck and jump on to the trampoline ( that was bought and then tore apart and thrown away by my husband within the month of purchase) CONTRARY to what your cousins say "YOU CAN NOT FLY if you try hard enough."

3. No fist fighting in the grocery store line over who has prettier hair.

4. No vacuuming up the socks in the floor. Much easier just to pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper.

5. No approaching the other greens at putt putt and hitting another player's ball. Strangers might think you are cute, but they do not appreciate your help.

6. When you are 9 or any age for that matter, no using a razor to shave off your eyebrows.

7. If you just put a comforter on your bed, but no sheet, then your bed is not really made.

8. You may not ever kick the characters at theme parks no matter how many puppies you think they have killed.

9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

10. " I do not care how old you are, you may not stay up until 4 am. and do a barrel roll into my room to ask me where the remote control is to your tv. I WILL BE SLEEPING!"

 

[judypriv]

My daughter just potty trained so we have a new one:

"You can only show off your big girl underwear to people inside the house, not in public."

She's big into dropping pants or pulling up dresses and announcing "I don't wear diapers anymore!"

 

[Suzanna1973]

My children are older now, DD has grown and moved away and DS is starting high school, but ohh how this thread brings back the memories.

It's amazing the things you hear yourself say when you are a parent. But this thread shows that we are not alone!!!

 

[At World's End]

"Mommy is for cuddling, not for climbing."

For some reason every time I sit down my boys want to pounce on me. I had to institute this rule for my own safety! My DH gets pummeled by them every night at bedtime, and he loves it. They wrestle with him and get all tired out. Then they want me to cuddle with them and talk. I love it.

 

[mum2simon]

Rotfl!!!!!

I only have two boys, but I have 12 nephews and nieces....and whenever anyone is over they know the rule is "unless there is blood, you can work it out yourselves"

 

[judypriv]

My daughter physically climbs up one side of me and down the other. She's done it since she was 12 months old. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

 

[JaneBanks]

1. No ripping the towel bar off the wall to kill a large ant.........

2. Do not climb on the deck and jump on to the trampoline ( that was bought and then tore apart and thrown away by my husband within the month of purchase) CONTRARY to what your cousins say "YOU CAN NOT FLY if you try hard enough."

3. No fist fighting in the grocery store line over who has prettier hair.

4. No vacuuming up the socks in the floor. Much easier just to pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper.

5. No approaching the other greens at putt putt and hitting another player's ball. Strangers might think you are cute, but they do not appreciate your help.

6. When you are 9 or any age for that matter, no using a razor to shave off your eyebrows.

7. If you just put a comforter on your bed, but no sheet, then your bed is not really made.

8. You may not ever kick the characters at theme parks no matter how many puppies you think they have killed.

9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

10. " I do not care how old you are, you may not stay up until 4 am. and do a barrel roll into my room to ask me where the remote control is to your tv. I WILL BE SLEEPING!"[/QUOTE]

Seriously, I laughed out loud! These have to be the best rules I've ever heard!

 

[stichy]

Everyone must wear at least underwear. DS8 is a budding nudist. He'll come wandering into the family with absolutely nothing on. Or we'll find him watching tv in our bed naked. But when he is getting dressed or undressed he flips out if someone looks at him. Go figure.

 

[ilovejack02]

Only three simple rules in our house. . .

Rule #1...Do NOT wake up mother on Saturday mornings. Yes, you can turn on the tv.

Rule #2...Do NOT wake up Mom on Saturday morning. Yes, you can fix a bowl of cereal.

Rule #3...Always remember Rule #1 and if you have a question remember Rule #2.

HOLY MOLY, those are the best rules EVER !!!! I am going to print this up and hang it on his door .

 

[Karenj2]

As I'm reading these, I keep thinking, "Dear GOD, what have I gotten myself into!!" My DD is only 4months, so I've got some time. (Although, I have been telling her that our dog is NOT for eating...)

When we were kids, we had a one napkin per dinner rule, which was created because my sister would use 5 napkins per dinner to get rid of her vegetables. We also had a no shorts during school unless it was supposed to get over 90 that day (due to the 70/80's style Daisy Dukes), and no screaming unless you're getting hit by a truck. (Which always made me worry, because what if I got hit by a car or a motorcycle, or was kidnapped? Could I yell really loud?)

I've been really trying to enforce the no soccer/football/handball in the living room, but it's a losing battle...

This reminds me of the Brady Bunch, "Mom always said, 'Don't play ball in the house!'"

 

[ryka]

6. When you are 9 or any age for that matter, no using a razor to shave off your eyebrows.

This is funny cause my 9 year old just did this yesterday. This is now one of our rules.

 

[anna_chronistic]

1. If you leave your seat, you have to call "place back" (among witnesses) and then you have two minutes to do whatever you need to do and get back to your seat. If you aren't back in two minutes, your chair is forfeit to whomever wants it. (This was originally a rule in my grandparents' household -- Dad was one of 10 kids.) Two minutes b/c that is an average commercial break. Plus, I have ornery nephews who love to steal my chair to show they love me.
2. Mom and Dad are not subject to the place-back rule. If they own the house, they own the chairs in it and get any chair they want.
3. If Mom or Dad tell you to do something, you get your chair back immediately upon completion of that task.

Others:
4. Must be quiet when people are sleeping.
5. You can climb up walls and doorframes, but you cannot jump on people from that loftier height.
6. No tickling someone who is climbing up walls or doorframes.
7. No horseplay that involves the actual doors, especially doorknobs (No locking people out as a joke, holding onto the doorknob so they can't get in/out, etc.)

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

1. No ripping the towel bar off the wall to kill a large ant.........

2. Do not climb on the deck and jump on to the trampoline ( that was bought and then tore apart and thrown away by my husband within the month of purchase) CONTRARY to what your cousins say "YOU CAN NOT FLY if you try hard enough."

3. No fist fighting in the grocery store line over who has prettier hair.

4. No vacuuming up the socks in the floor. Much easier just to pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper.

5. No approaching the other greens at putt putt and hitting another player's ball. Strangers might think you are cute, but they do not appreciate your help.

6. When you are 9 or any age for that matter, no using a razor to shave off your eyebrows.

7. If you just put a comforter on your bed, but no sheet, then your bed is not really made.

8. You may not ever kick the characters at theme parks no matter how many puppies you think they have killed.

9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

10. " I do not care how old you are, you may not stay up until 4 am. and do a barrel roll into my room to ask me where the remote control is to your tv. I WILL BE SLEEPING!"[/QUOTE]

Seriously, I laughed out loud! These have to be the best rules I've ever heard!

OMG I almost died when I read #9...bet grandma is a hoot

 

[tooh8ful]

OMG I laughed out loud while reading this. I have 2 girls and you'd be surprised how many of the "boy" rules apply to them!

My youngest is CONSTANTLY being told snot is NOT paint, quit using it like it is!

 

[bekkiz]

My twins think rubbing heads is a sign of affection (and have since they could crawl), but now it's evolved into head butting. I say, probably 5 times a day, "bang your head on the couch, not on your brother (or me or dad or the dog)"

 

[Sanibel Spirit]

,
9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

ROFL!

 

[laughinplace199]

1. Before I back the car out of the driveway (or parking space), you have to give me a "two thumbs up" sign so I know that your seatbelt is buckled. If you are a baby/toddler and haven't mastered the the two thumbs up sign, you can put two hands up (since if you are a baby I've buckled you in myself and therefore I know you're all set).

2. If the first number on the digital clock is less than a "6", you may not get out of bed.

3. No making singing or weird noises with your mouth while waiting in bed for clock to turn to 6.

4. No playing drums on wall, bed, or any other surface while waiting for clock to turn to 6.

5. No baby talk unless you want me to get the crib out of the attic and stuff you into it.

Our newest rule, just instituted two nights ago:
6. No flushing half a box of Kleenex down the toilet

 

[laughinplace199]

1. No ripping the towel bar off the wall to kill a large ant.........

2. Do not climb on the deck and jump on to the trampoline ( that was bought and then tore apart and thrown away by my husband within the month of purchase) CONTRARY to what your cousins say "YOU CAN NOT FLY if you try hard enough."

3. No fist fighting in the grocery store line over who has prettier hair.

4. No vacuuming up the socks in the floor. Much easier just to pick them up and put them in the laundry hamper.

5. No approaching the other greens at putt putt and hitting another player's ball. Strangers might think you are cute, but they do not appreciate your help.

6. When you are 9 or any age for that matter, no using a razor to shave off your eyebrows.

7. If you just put a comforter on your bed, but no sheet, then your bed is not really made.

8. You may not ever kick the characters at theme parks no matter how many puppies you think they have killed.

9. Pushing your grandmother around in her wheelchair and yelling jokes like "drink from my hand old woman" or "hush, or you are going back in the cage"
while in public is not going to be tolerated... No matter how funny grandma thinks you are.

10. " I do not care how old you are, you may not stay up until 4 am. and do a barrel roll into my room to ask me where the remote control is to your tv. I WILL BE SLEEPING!"

Best rules ever!

 

[Jdougherty]

I have a new one from Gymnastic last night

The couch is not a trampline nor is your brother a suitable landing surface.

I loves this thread, it made me smile on an otherwise bad day.