OT: What bizarre / funny "rules" do you have in your house?

[minniebeth]

When my DS was younger, he was visiting my mother-in-law who lives in a retirement community. They have a lot of rules regarding visitors (especially children) so he was used to the rules. Now my MIL loves wearing earrings. She has a huge beautiful collection. One day, they were leaving to go out to lunch. She forgot to put on her earrings, so she said "oh, I can't go out without my earrings!" and went back to put a pair on. My DS asked her, "Nana, is that one of the rules too?".... it was too cute, so now, literally, if we are set to go out somewhere and either myself or my DDs don't have earrrings on, we say: "Can't go out without your earrings on!"

 

[Melissa]

NO dancing in the kitchen!!
NO dancing in front of the TV!!
NO dancing during dinner!!

Seriously....just STOP dancing!!

We sound grumpy don't we...we have two high school daughters who dance on the drill team and in competitions and they are just constantly dancing all over the place. Sometimes it just gets annoying (and dangerous...RE: the kitchen rule)

LOL!! All Star Cheerleader here so ours is stop dancing, making facials and watching yourself in the reflection of the kitchen window while I am making dinner. In a nutshell No Cheering in the kitchen!

 

[lklasing]

My oldest DD's first full sentence, that she proudly told me one evening, was "No no rocks in nose". Happily we never had that problem but once.

 

[ktlm]

No putting clothes on the dog! (The dog hates it).

 

[marcemc]

First we introduced the rule "no peeing in the pool"

now, it's the "no peeing by the pool or on the plants either"........

 

[badblackpug]

You realize that is an issue with the toilet paper? I prefer than flushed too.

Denise in MI

Yes, but I have a 2 year old who loves to flush. She would stand and flush the whole roll! In order to flush something that came out of your bottom MUST be in the toilet.

 

[bumbershoot]

I have 4 boys and I found myself saying "no rubbing your *tinkler* on the patio door" last weekend to the 4 year old. I guess it is now a new rule.

Sarah

We have various boy-bits rules as well, and I only have one kid!

By the way, I think you need to update your sig, b/c there's no 4 year old mentioned in it.

We had that rule when I was growing up - until the night my middle brother managed to get Spaghetti sauce on the BACK of his shirt. Then an addendum to the rule was added that middle brother was PROHIBITED from wearing a shirt at the table on spaghetti nights.

When my brother and I were very little, spaghetti-dinner night was naked-kid night! Oh the pictures....

 

[doodlesmommy]

LOL!! All Star Cheerleader here so ours is stop dancing, making facials and watching yourself in the reflection of the kitchen window while I am making dinner. In a nutshell No Cheering in the kitchen!

HA; same here. No scorpions or bow and arrows in the house!

We also have the rule about clothes at the table. No shorts, no shirt, no service.

No cleaning electronics in the sink. Nintendo would prefer that we not send another gaming device back their way for repair.

 

[lorisnuts]

Only three simple rules in our house. . .

Rule #1...Do NOT wake up mother on Saturday mornings. Yes, you can turn on the tv.

Rule #2...Do NOT wake up Mom on Saturday morning. Yes, you can fix a bowl of cereal.

Rule #3...Always remember Rule #1 and if you have a question remember Rule #2.

 

[judypriv]

seeing you have a pug, badBlackPug, so do we and our rule is: No pulling Vito's tail and letting it snap back!

 

[judypriv]

I have 4 boys and I found myself saying "no rubbing your *tinkler* on the patio door" last weekend to the 4 year old. I guess it is now a new rule.

Sarah

Sigh and laugh. We are constantly telling my son who is almost four, "no tea bagging the bed. No putting your ***** on the floor, etc..."

 

[abdmom]

1. No singing at the table.

2. No singing in the car.

3. No whistling or playing musical instruments in the car.

4. Don't break your mommy. You only get one.

 

[GreyGooseCosmo]

Our #1 - no singing unless everyone in the house is wearing pants.

My stepdaughter is notorious for not wanting to be awake alone. We don't take kindly to being woken up by her for no reason, therefore she started singing loudly to make this happen. I love her to bits, but girlfriend can't carry a tune in a bucket.

Anyhow, my husband told her one morning "NO SINGING unless everyone's awake and is ready for the day."

She said "how will I know they're ready for the day?"

He thought quickly on his feet and said "we'll all be wearing pants. That's how you'll know."

BAHAAHAAHAAA

 

[ktlm]

1. No singing at the table.

2. No singing in the car.

3. No whistling or playing musical instruments in the car.

4. Don't break your mommy. You only get one.

My DD (4) sings all day every day too and has since she could talk. I haven't instituted any rules yet though. She is mostly on key, so I kind of like it! I love your No. 4, I think I'm going to steal it and use it!

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

The other day I found myself telling my 11 year old something along the lines of

"You know better than to obey your grandmother".

Just to be clear, 82 year old grandma had just told him to leave the dirty dishes on the table and she'd wash them later. I told him to bring them to the kitchen and I'd wash them now.

 

[busyshrew]

I'm always saying this,

"Yes you can go play upstairs in your room. But everyone must keep their clothes on!"

DD is 6 right now, but I don't see that rule changing in any way......

 

[MNdisneymom]

Said to my 7 year old son, at our cabin in the northern part of the state (no people around) as he did what he *loves* to do outside but isn't allowed to in town:

"No peeing on the dog!"

Our dog is 13 years old and kind of slow, and had wandered into his path. Whoops!

 

[MonkersMama]

No Lego bricks up the nose.

No Play-Doh up the nose.

My kids like to stuff things in their nose.

 

[Pastamom]

These posts are making me laugh. here are a few we have had over the years based on DS11 and DS9 "needs"

1. No licking the alderman's (or anyone's) car
2. No peeing on your brother, dog, etc.
3. You must stand in front of the toilet, AIM and not turn when peeing ( no you cannot stand on the counter and see if it goes in...)
4. You must have pants/shorts on if you want to come down stairs.
5. No naked dancing on the bed...

I'm sure there are many more - I have boys after all and they are a different breed

 

[MissChris]

Our main weird rule is:

Don't put your feet on people

It started out "no kicking" but it turns out there are lots of ways to put your feet on people and they are all annoying so we had to go for a more general rule

I have also heard myself say:

Oatmeal is not a hat.

And of course, the classic, the immortal:

Don't touch the dog's butt.