OT: Skipping a grade

[mickeyplanner08]

Yes.. we were happy with it. To the posters who talk about your child not being able to drive or whatnot.. I think the OP said that her DD would only be the youngest by a few weeks right? Our cutoff is 12/1 and DD was 2/6, so she is really only a few months younger than the youngest bunch of kids. I don't think the few months of waiting to drive/date/whatever will be worth the years of added benefit it has brought her self esteem.

Of course it's hard to say though, as of course we haven't gotten that far yet.

The cut off here is December 1, so right now, she was 5-almost 6 starting K, almost 7 starting 1st and almost 8 starting 2nd. But if we bump her up, she will not turn 9 until 2 months into 4th grade. The big problem here is that a ton of people who have kids with summer birthdays "hold them back" so there are several boys in her class that will turn 10 the summer before starting 4th grade. (Everyone lost yet? I think I am ) Again, not such an issue right now, but that gap widens as they get older.......

 

[mickeyplanner08]

My DD14 (in 10th grade now) skipped 1st grade. I honestly believe it was the best thing for her. She's taking 2 AP classes & some Honors classes as well & has a 4.2something GPA.

Socially - she fits in perfectly. Most of her teachers have never known that she skipped, but the ones that do learn of it usually comment that they would've never guessed she's younger than the rest of the class.

Size-wise, she has always fit in as well. In fact, she's always been the tallest girl in her class & even got her period first, at 10yo.

Yay! Another success story! OK and lets not even talk about that whole period thing.....another whole post about how I'm freaking out about that

 

[zoemurr]

The cut off here is December 1, so right now, she was 5-almost 6 starting K, almost 7 starting 1st and almost 8 starting 2nd. But if we bump her up, she will not turn 9 until 2 months into 4th grade. The big problem here is that a ton of people who have kids with summer birthdays "hold them back" so there are several boys in her class that will turn 10 the summer before starting 4th grade. (Everyone lost yet? I think I am ) Again, not such an issue right now, but that gap widens as they get older.......

'cause my DD just turned 10 6 months into 5th grade. Boys are so immature anyway.. I woudn't use them as a guide. (Yes.. I have a son..)

 

[mickeyplanner08]

Boys are so immature anyway.. I woudn't use them as a guide. (Yes.. I have a son..)

 

[Jenniferb]

I have a question. I don't want this to sound mean or rude but for those of you who skipped a grade, or two, growing up, what are you doing now? What is your current career? Just curious.

 

[maiapapaya]

I'm currently a SAHM, but I was an orthotic technician - making orthopedic braces (mostly leg and back braces) for children with physical disabilities.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

It's a shame your daughter's elementary school doesn't have a gifted and talented program. Beginning in 3rd grade, the more academically gifted students were accepted into "Aegis" class ("Alpha" when I moved to Florida). They removed us from the classroom for about an hour or so each day for this class. We had projects and activities that challenged us. It was a lot of fun.

Now, as for your daughter skipping a grade, well.... I suggest asking your daughter if she'd be interested in doing that.

If she has friends in her grade and is doing well socially, I would hesitate to bump her up a grade. At this young age, it means a lot to children to be older - they feel as if they can claim some sort of seniority over younger children (I remember in kindergarten thinking I was so old and cool, hanging around my younger sister! ).

Also consider that education programs vary from state to state, as well as county to county. When I moved from South Carolina to Florida, I was way ahead of my peers (imagine that!). Class was completely boring - they were covering material I had been taught the previous year. Had I remained in Florida, they would've bumped be up a grade (it was only a temporary move), and then when I moved back to South Carolina, I would've been in the grade ahead and a grade level behind! If you know there's a possibility that you will move within the next few years, you might want to keep her in her current grade level.

I have a question. I don't want this to sound mean or rude but for those of you who skipped a grade, or two, growing up, what are you doing now? What is your current career? Just curious.

My mother skipped kindergarten and second grade, and she's a petroleum engineer.

 

[Leajess99]

I have a question. I don't want this to sound mean or rude but for those of you who skipped a grade, or two, growing up, what are you doing now? What is your current career? Just curious.

My ex skipped a grade and after a 13 year military career that he threw away being stupid, he is now Quality assurance supervisor for a meat packing plant.

Shoot I can't get him to realize that he needs to go back to school but hey he knows it all.

 

[Colleen27]

My feeling is that if she's the right age for the grade they want to advance her to, you should go for it. I had a similar opportunity when I was a child that my mother refused, and in the long run the boredom and frustration of constantly being ahead along with the social stigma that can come from being a "brain" was just as bad as anything my mom migh thave imagined coming from being a year younger than my classmates. As it was, I gravitated to older friends (and boys) anyway.

Unless your school offers gifted programming or other enrichment to meet your daughter's needs while she progresses, I would think it would be better to see that she's challenged educationally and address the social issues if/when they arise rather than keeping her in an educationally inadequate environment for fear of circumstances that can't be forseen.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

What's the school system's policy for skipping grades? Here there's a very vigorous testing proceedure. Basically the child has to score in the 99th percentile of the grade that they will be placed INTO to even qualify. Plus they have to test in the 99th percentile on more than 2 IQ tests. If that all comes through, they then have the child assessed by a child psychologist. Only then will the child be placed up. It sounds like alot, but I think it's a good way to know if a child may be truly ready. I personally wouldn't have my child skip a grade on her teacher's say so alone.

 

[mickeyplanner08]

What's the school system's policy for skipping grades? Here there's a very vigorous testing proceedure.

Ha, the school is so small, there is no "procedure" I don't know how many times they have recommended this before, but I do know it hasn't been too many.

 

[mickeyplanner08]

My feeling is that if she's the right age for the grade they want to advance her to, you should go for it. I had a similar opportunity when I was a child that my mother refused, and in the long run the boredom and frustration of constantly being ahead along with the social stigma that can come from being a "brain" was just as bad as anything my mom migh thave imagined coming from being a year younger than my classmates. As it was, I gravitated to older friends (and boys) anyway.

Unless your school offers gifted programming or other enrichment to meet your daughter's needs while she progresses, I would think it would be better to see that she's challenged educationally and address the social issues if/when they arise rather than keeping her in an educationally inadequate environment for fear of circumstances that can't be forseen.

They have offered the choice of bumping her up or just working on enrichment stuff in math and language arts. It does make it harder because she could be placed in either grade age wise....

 

[zoemurr]

They have offered the choice of bumping her up or just working on enrichment stuff in math and language arts. It does make it harder because she could be placed in either grade age wise....

DD was offered enrichment work, and 1:1 pull out gifted. It made her feel so different that she was miserable. (and this was at age 5...) However, if she will still be in a mixed class and the kids are all doing different stuff maybe it wouldn't be as obvious.

You may want to ask that they do some testing. My DD did score 99.9% on 2IQ tests, and years over grade level on assessments. She was also evaluated for maturity by the psychologist. (criteria mentioned by PP)

(I still have no idea where she got these brains.. )

 

[maiapapaya]

I know we had had IQ testing of some sort - the whole class did. I don't even remember if it's something I mentioned to my parents. We all went to the library and got to work in fun little booklets! I loved it! Mind you this was back in the 70's (feeling really old now), I have no idea what the protocols would be now. Your daughter may have already had some testing done, but just didn't mention it (she maybe didn't know they were being assessed).

 

[Aristomommy]

I have my DD's success story to share. She has a Nov. birthday and started K early at a private school after they tested her. This school was small also and they would still put her in the accelerated reading and math as the youngest student. Through K, 1st and 2nd all her teachers thought she did well, some didn't even know she was a year younger than others and she was doing great.

Then we moved and she went to a public school for part of 2nd, 3rd and part of 4th. I knew she needed more challenge at school, but the public school was hesitant. I did some research and in order to figure out exactly what she needed, we had an IQ test done and also an ABOVE level achievement test. Her grade level achievement test was at 99th percentile, but it didn't really tell what kinds of material she was ready to do beyond her grade level. Once both test were done, the school was willing to accomodate with acceleration, but not grade skip even though they thought she would be ready academically.

After 4th grade we looked for a new school. We found a great public school district with an awesome gifted program. This past fall, after 4th grade, DD started 6th grade math, 6th grade Language arts and is with other accelerated kids. She is so happy, challenged and motivated.

My concern was that she skipped all of 5th grade math, but her teacher has not noticed any difficulties. She gives DD a quick 1:1 if needed, which is great.

Sorry to make this long, but if I were you, I would really find out your child's IQ and achievement levels. There is a booked called IOWA acceleration scale that will help to determine what you should do once the testing is done. Also, talk to your child and find out their thoughts on the issue. My child craved more challenge even more than she wanted to stay with class mates. If your child wants to stay with class mates, you can provide many enrichment opportunities after school or even have her accelerated in classroom. I have found that schooling for a gifted child is a year to year decision. Once you skip a grade, you still may need more acceleration. If you have any questions, please feel free to PM

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I have a success story for you.

My oldest skipped 2nd grade. Our cut off date was Dec. 1st. His birthday was Dec 12th. He started reading on his own at age 3. By kindergarden was reading chapter books, and doing 2nd grade math. I knew it was going to be a problem, but I had doubts about skipping.

Then his 1st grade teacher brought it up to me. My son was so far ahead in all areas that he felt different from the rest of the class. It was a really hard decision, but I'm so glad we did it now. There was no reason for him to go to school last year. He wasn't learning anything that he didn't already know. What a waste of time!

He is now the youngest in his class, but you can hardley tell. He is tall for his age, and very mature. He has made lots of friends. He has more in common with the older kids. He just fits in better. I asked him if he was glad he skipped, and he says he is. He is still at the top of his class. He is in the highest reading group and spelling group. His tests come home with 100% all the time. He gets pulled out for a challange math group. There are no regrets.

I am a little sad about "loosing" one year of his childhood. He will go off to college a year sooner. He may be exposed to things from older kids one year sooner. However, this was what was best for him. I won't skip him again. I will continue to enrich his education at home. It works for us.

 

[mickeyplanner08]

Thank you all for your wonderful input. I love hearing opinions on both sides, and still wish that children came with an instruction manual that would just give you all the right answers. Why is parenting so difficult?

I struggle with looking at the things we are missing as far as acceleration and other services because she is in the small private school, but there are some other benefits that I'm not willing to sacrifice at this point. I will have to ask if they can do some additional testing at school.

 

[crisi]

I have a question. I don't want this to sound mean or rude but for those of you who skipped a grade, or two, growing up, what are you doing now? What is your current career? Just curious.

Project management.

I spent my high school years surrounded by G&T kids (I got tracked into a program in high school and we all started hanging together from all over the city) - and I'm still friends with many of them. The vast majority of them really haven't excelled other than average. I have two friends who went to Columbia - but four who dropped out of high school to get their GED later (too bored with high school - it was wasting their time). A lot of people who floundered around for years before falling into something. One PhD and a second who will get their PhD this summer - but she is now 45 - and the other didn't get his until his 30s. Other than that - musician, teacher, technical writer, stay at home mom, IT management, - fairly respectable jobs, but no one I know is curing cancer.

I told one of my daughter's friend's parents, who has one in G&T and one not (and neither parent is G&T themselves) that it really doesn't mean their kid is smarter or will be more successful - its a special kind of learning disability - they THINK differently. USUALLY they will excel in school - unless they get bored - but in my experience very often doesn't translate to easy real life success. The people I know who went to Harvard and Stanford are more MOTIVATED than GIFTED.

 

[Elmo888]

I told one of my daughter's friend's parents, who has one in G&T and one not (and neither parent is G&T themselves) that it really doesn't mean their kid is smarter or will be more successful - its a special kind of learning disability - they THINK differently. USUALLY they will excel in school - unless they get bored - but in my experience very often doesn't translate to easy real life success. The people I know who went to Harvard and Stanford are more MOTIVATED than GIFTED.

This is very true. GT people (adults, too) struggle with their own issues.

Back to the original topic, here is some "light reading" that convinced a friend of mine to have her DD skip a grade...

http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Nation_Deceived/

It is so frustrating to figure out what your child needs when they aren't mainstream...I feel your pain. And I haven't found an easy answer (I'll let you know when I do...LOL!).

Good luck!

 

[karliebug]

I would personally keep her in the grade she is in and allow her extra enrichment opportunities at home or develop outside interests. Does your school have gifted classes? It will be easier when she gets to high school and can choose honors classes, but still be with her peers. A teacher should be able to challenge her at school by giving her different but parallel assignments. For example, if they need to write a 3 page paper, maybe hers has to be 4 pages. In math, if they are dividing into 2 digit numbers she could divide into 3 or 4 digit numbers. That is just my opinion. I have been teaching 26 years and I would not want my child skipped a grade because of the social difficulties that it may cause. I think that when kids get to middle school and high school that they need every bit of maturity they have to withstand peer pressure. Being the youngest can make those tween years even more difficult. Imagine all the other girls developing and you are still "Flatsy Patsy". I can hear the boys giggling already.