OT: Should I tell my son @ Santa?

[kpgriswold]

I would just let him keep on believing. Kids grow up so fast these days, why take away one of the last pieces of innocence he has. It will not hurt him to continue believing in Santa. One day he will come to you with questions about whether or not Santa is real, probably due to other kids telling him he is not, and at that time you can let him in on the secret. He'll probably come to you within the next two years and ask you about it, but for now I'd let him hold on to the belief.

I agree 100%! Kids learn quick enough that this world is a pretty hard place. Let them have the Santa fantasy as long as they can. When your kids get to they point that they no longer believe, they will tell you so.

And then you can tell them YOUR version of Santa: the spirit of giving and generosity, or whatever you think. For me, my kids know that I can still hear that Polar Express jingle bell ring!

 

[kpgriswold]

To the OP: This is exactly why we are never going to lie to our daughter (turning 1 next week) about Santa. We don't want her to think that it's okay to lie, and we don't want to give her any reason not to trust us. I haven't read any of the previous responses that you have received, but I definitely think you need to tell your son (and possibly your daughter to avoid a similar situation a few years down the line) that the mythical Santa does not exist. We plan on telling DD the story of the real Santa and explaining to her that a lot of kids believe in the mythical Santa and that she should not be mean to them, but I'm not going to tell my daughter to lie to other children either.

Good luck with your son. Hopefully he'll understand that you lied to him with good intentions, not to hurt him.

Just reading back through a few of the responses that I missed, and yours made me smile. You are clearly newbie parents!

As a couple of pps have already said, your will find that kids believe all sorts of amazing things even when you tell directly that those things are not true. "Magical thinking" is a stage ALL kids go through.

And some adults never give it up, which is why we have crazy sports rituals like wearing "lucky" socks!

 

[luvsJack]

I always find it odd that this subject can become so heated on a DISNEY message board. ya know, disney? That place with 5 foot tall mice and princesses around every corner and fairies and evil witch/step-mothers. The place where we all say "its the magic" and run to get our picture made with the before mentioned 5 foot mice.

I no more see telling a child there is a Santa as a lie than I see it as a lie when telling my little girl that she looked beautiful the first time she played in the make up and had purple sparkle eye shadow above her eye brows.

OP, I can understand your wanting to "come clean" when your child found out about the dog. That obviously affected him deeply. But will telling him the "truth" about Santa really help anything? He was upset and hurt. Will ending his belief in Santa make him less upset or hurt over the dog or more upset and hurt on top of it? I would give him time to get over the dog and then see where you feel you need to go next. He may not ask again for a long time.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

A beautiful child covered with mud is far different than lying about a fictional being to someone old enough to know the difference between pretend and reality.

My children have been beautiful since birth. They were even pretty darn cute in the womb.

If the OP has the feeling this is the right time, her instinct is probably correct.

 

[luvsJack]

A beautiful child covered with mud is far different than lying about a fictional being to someone old enough to know the difference between pretend and reality.

My children have been beautiful since birth. They were even pretty darn cute in the womb.

If the OP has the feeling this is the right time, her instinct is probably correct.

Oh, for heaven's sakes. All children are always beautiful. My point was that it is not a lie.

No one has to "tell" a child anything. They all figure out their own truths in their own time. Its kinda like they all get off the bottle and they all get potty trained (excepting any disabilities that would prevent that). All children go through all the developmental stages that that particular child is supposed to go through. Learning the "truth" about what is fantasy and what is reality is one of those stages. And if they don't come out and tell you that they have figured it out then maybe they just are not ready to let go of that particular part of their childhood.

My grown sons have never been told the truth about Santa or Mickey Mouse for that matter. I am fairly certain they know the "truth". OTOH, we do discuss what "Santa" is bringing and if we need to let Mickey know something that is going on during our trip to WDW. Its fun, we believe in magic and find magic in every day. Like several other posters have said, I, too, still believe and will continue to do so.

I am just of the opinion that the OP should consider if this is going to upset her child even more than he already is. He is upset about the dog, maybe he should be given time to deal with that before anything else is added. If its not going to help anything why add to his misery? I, of course, do not know how this child feels. He may not really care one way or the other or he may feel very strongly about whether Santa exists. Only the OP can determine that and whether she should tell him anything.

 

[drcbpearce]

Thank you all for your opinions and suggestions. I really appreciate it. Never thought I'd get the number of responses I have. I am going to hold off on telling my son. I completely agree that the magic of childhood doesn't last forever and I want him to be a child as long as he can. Last night my DD6 told me that last year she actually saw Rudolph and Santa's sleigh! Very cute. No, I'm not going to ruin it for him, but if he asks me point blank, I'll tell him. But TBH, I don't think he's going to. It's just too much fun having him around, know what I mean?

Santa embodies so much for different reasons and for different people. And you know what? He IS real. There was a 'Secret Santa' in town last week, wearing a red hat w/a couple of elves dressed as police officers and he was giving people $100 bills. Just random people, sitting at bus stops, shopping at thrift stores, walking down the street. I know those people believe in Santa! They never showed his face b/c he wanted to remain anonymous, so I don't know about the beard.

 

[nicki.momof3]

There is so much in life for a child to be disappointed in. A littel magic and surprise and great and needed. A little lie about Santa is worth it for a childs happiness.

Don't tell them about Santa jsut to make yourself feel better. Let them have their childhood (it goes so quickly as it is) and enjoy the magic.

 

[sk!mom]

I would think a 9 y/o already knows about Santa and is just playing along. My ds is 8 and has known for the past 2 years. Dd5 is even suspecting. Kids are brighter than we give them credit for.

Completely agree! I'm always amazed by parents who say that kids older than 7 or 8 still truly believe. Both of my children just started to naturally realize that "Santa" was just a fantasy part of Christmas at around 7. I'm, also an Elementary School teacher and I have to say that 9 year olds who believe would be very rare.

BAck to the OP, if your son really does still believe or you think he does then I would wait until he matures a bit. No reason to upset him again. He will eventually begin to understand on his own and you can deal with it then. Hopefully at that point he will have matured enough to realize the difference in pretending something's real (Santa, Micky Mouse, etc...) because it's fun and make holidays and vacations just a bit magical and lying.