OT Need advice in Kindergarten for dd who misses cut off.

[Nlbnikki]

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this but my Dh & I are pulling our hair out. DD will be 5 in Nov. missing the kindergarten cut off by a little over 2 months. She has passed the pre test for K and could probably pass the test for 1st. We have found a private school that will take her for K in Sept. Our issue is whether or not she will fall behind maturity wise down the road. DD has no problem interacting on any level with any age. Has anyone had any experience either way?Either waiting it out or putting them in ahead? Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[Tinkerbell2002]

Just my experience. I started kindergarten when I was 4 and turned 5 in January (ok since I went to Catholic School for kindergarten and then transferred to public school). I had no real problems being younger than my classmates. In elementary school my teachers put I was immature on my report card. In high school every one got their driver's liscence a year before me and the first year in college, I was the only one in my political science class that could not fullfill an assignment to vote in the election since I was still 17 my first semester of college. I don't feel that I benefited or sufferred from starting early. THat being said, I myself have a ds with a Fall birthday actually just days after the cutoff in my district and am fine with him starting a year later. It'll just give him extra time to be a kid is the way I see it. Whatever you decide your dd will be fine. If not starting her in private school next year though maybe a pre-k program in your area. Good luck with your decision.

 

[Kellyscrapbooks]

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post this but my Dh & I are pulling our hair out. DD will be 5 in Nov. missing the kindergarten cut off by a little over 2 months. She has passed the pre test for K and could probably pass the test for 1st. We have found a private school that will take her for K in Sept. Our issue is whether or not she will fall behind maturity wise down the road. DD has no problem interacting on any level with any age. Has anyone had any experience either way?Either waiting it out or putting them in ahead? Thanks in advance for any advice.

Ok... well... here it goes.
My daughter also has a November birthday. The cutoff here in NY is Dec 1st, so she made the cut off here, but didn't in Florida where we were living at the time. We decided to move back to NY the year she would start kindergarten I didn't put that much thought into it at the time. She started kindergarten as the YOUNGEST in her class. I still didn't think anything of it....
She did GREAT! She was fantastic. Her grades were awesome. I was confident that I had made the right decision... until this year. She's in 4th grade. Her grades are wonderful, she's bright, personable, friendly, has friends but........
she's very young compared to the other kids. Naive, innocent, I hate to say it, but gullible and overly trusting.
They made the decision to move the 5th graders up with the middle school starting next year. THAT is terrifiying me. That means that my little girl will still be 9 with the big kids that are sometimes as old as 14. That's a huge difference at that age, likewise a few years later when she's 13 and in high school with 18 year olds.
While a lot of her little friends are like her, studious, dreamy, imaginative, many more are starting to notice boys (eeek!) get interested in make up, etc.

I think from a purely educational standpoint I made the right decision, from a social one, I don't think it was the wrong decision, but I think that there may be some repercussions from it. I am sorry I didn't view it as thoroughly as I could have when she was 4 going on 5. I don't know that I would have changed a thing... but I wish I'd thought about it more. Feel free to PM me and ask me any questions if you want, this has been on my mind a lot.
Best of luck, whatever your decision!

 

[mom*to*2*princesses]

I symathize--it can be an agonizing decision. However, if my kids missed the cut off, especially by two months, I seriously doubt that I would even consider sending them.

Our situation is quite different. DD is a middle-July baby and our cut off is August 1, so she made the cut off. She's a social kid, had no problems in preschool, was on the track to reading, is bright and inquisitive, all that stuff.

When it was time for sign-up, my MIL and SIL (elementary school teachers), told us to consider waiting a year. At least in our area, kg is what first grade used to be, 1st is the old 2nd, etc. They both said that even if she did great in kg she might have some issues in 2nd and 3rd when the workload really starts to get tough (and I've seen the 3rd grade work firsthand and it's brutal). I talked to EVERYONE I could, including DD's preschool teachers, the elem. principal, and my mom (a retired elementary teacher). They all agreed that there was absolutely no harm in waiting and there could be harm in sending her at barely 5.

That made it a no-brainer for us, especially hearing it straight from the principal. We waited until she was 6 and we are so glad we did. She's ready for school in every way possible. She loves it and is learning so quickly. The only negative is that the immaturity of some of her classmates can annoy her at times, but that can happen with all ages and grades.

Way back in the "days of yore," I was the youngest kid in my class. It didn't hold me back in any way-I had great grades, enough friends, a good experience. But, that was then and school is not the same now. I think another year to be a kid is a great gift to a child. And don't forget that if you do send her, there will be kids like mine in her class that are months and months older. It makes a pretty big difference at that age.

Just MHO. Good luck deciding.

 

[DianeV]

My daughter missed the kindergarten cutoff by 2 weeks. Her preschool teacher said she was ready (had gone for 2 years) but our school would not even consider it.

Now she is in 7th grade and I think I am glad we didnt persue it. She is actually on the older side and I think she benefits from that...plus the driver license etc. thing definitely is something to consider

 

[Darcy03231]

Our cut off is 9/30 and DS's birthday is 10/2. I opted not to try to send him and I'm glad I did. He's now in 7th grade and while he does ok in school he still really isn't "into" it. When we went to school the cut off date was 12/31 and my sister was born 12/27. She was very immature all through school. My mother later regretted not waiting another year.

 

[kellyg403]

I can tell you my experience, I have a dd who has a Nov birthday and a stepDD who is an late Oct. The cutoff here is Oct 15. My dd, on the advice of her preschool teacher stayed another year in preschool. Her motor skills were a little behind but academically she could pass the kindegarten entrance exam with ease. She was 18 in November of her senior year but academically and socially mature and it worked well for her. Sdd was put in kindegarten and we did have maturity problems all the way up until this year and few problems with focus issues. Intelligence wise, she was an A/B student easily. We get comments every year since 3rd grade that she is immature and does not easily mix with her peers. This year, 8th grade, we have noticed that she is catching up socially and maturity is no longer an issue.

It really is a call for the parents to make. I am glad that I made the decision for dd, but at the same time see that with stepdd, other than above mentioned issues, no big deal either. She may have always been a little immature or have social issues that really have nothing to do with starting school earlier. You know your child. Speak with her pre k teacher and see what her thoughts are.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

Kelly

 

[angelmom]

Our cut off date is Sept. 1. My kids, boy and girl, both have mid Oct. birthdays. I didn't even think about trying to send them early. We did 1 year of preschool and then they had half day kindergarten. They are both doing great in school accidemically and socially.

 

[Whosemom]

I would wait. My DDs both have birthdays the first week in October. Out cut-off here is Sept 30. (Actually, they were due SEpt 27th and 20th - had they been on time, we'd be on the other end of things). I thought about pushing for the first one to start early, but dr talked me out of it. She was a very early reader and everything, but a year's maturity there at the beginning was helpful. I guess the other thing is I never hear anyone say they are sorry they waited.

On the other hand, I have often thought that we agonize over these kind of decisions and in the long run, they don't have the significance that we give them at the time. aka - I'm sure what ever you decide will work just fine

 

[calliemom]

My daughter is in grade 2 at a local private school, she has 3 friends in her class that should actually be in grade 1 according to the public schools. I am very familiar with these children and I can honestly say that they are doing just great socially, each one has their group of friends and seem to have no issues with being younger than the rest of her class.

 

[mimif1]

My DD also has a November birthday. I felt she was ready, but didn't pursue sending her. I was always the youngest in my class growing up and remember things such as not developing as fast as the other girls in my class. Socially and accademically I think she would have been fine, but I'm still glad I waited. Even now, she's still one of the smallest girls in the class. My nephew has a August birthday and he started at barely 5. He had several problems and ended up repeating (they call it transition in our school) because he just wasn't quite ready. Good luck in your decision.

 

[Panther mom]

My ds is now 13. Our cut-off here was August 15th and his bday is August 4th. His is in a private school and is thriving academically. At the end of prek his teacher told me not to hold him back, if he can do the work send him on. He is a straight A student in all honors classes. Socially though, he is way below average. He feels that he is not the same as everyone else. I really should have held him back. I felt like what the teacher told me, if he can do the work, let him try it. I've regretted it ever since. He will be 17 when he graduates and when he begins college. Not good! I say hold your child back. Learn from my mistake.

 

[magic-camps]

I would not press the children to start earlier than they have to. My dd is academically very bright. It was suggested because of her academics far surpassing other kindergarders and 1st graders that I should investige skipping her a grade. She is in 1st grade now, and I would never have thought about skipping her because of social issues. I do have to push the school to continue to challenge her, and she is still bored at times. But I work with the middle and high school kids and know all the issues they are dealing with. For me, I rather have her be bored now then not have the abilities to handle the tougher social situations when she's older due to being younger than her peer group. Why do we need to race the kids to get into school only to get them out sooner to join the work force? Let them keep their innocence as long as they can.

 

[almburr]

DD12 born on July. DD8 born in July, DS6 born in July, DD5 Born in Dec. and DS2 born in Dec.

DD12 started at 5
DD8 started school when she was four only for a few weeks. Our school starts around August 16th. She has done very well.

But wit hDS6 we waited a year he just wasnt ready for school.

With the two summer girls they will graduate HS at 17 and DD8 will start college when she is 17.

My 18th B-day was also my graduation from HS. No birthday party for me.

 

[momto2girls]

I would not press the children to start earlier than they have to. My dd is academically very bright. It was suggested because of her academics far surpassing other kindergarders and 1st graders that I should investige skipping her a grade. She is in 1st grade now, and I would never have thought about skipping her because of social issues. I do have to push the school to continue to challenge her, and she is still bored at times. But I work with the middle and high school kids and know all the issues they are dealing with. For me, I rather have her be bored now then not have the abilities to handle the tougher social situations when she's older due to being younger than her peer group. Why do we need to race the kids to get into school only to get them out sooner to join the work force? Let them keep their innocence as long as they can.

Well said!

 

[KariC]

A couple of thoughts....

1. Have you considered Montessori schools? Students are grouped in 3 year spans (ages 3-6, 6-9, 9-12 yrs), and can work at their own pace. The teachers will even "borrow" works from the older classes if one of the younger students is ready to work on it. We've chosen it (for now) for our 4 yr olds...we've been told that academically at 3 they could've done kindergarten.

2. A couple of resources to read...Guiding the Gifted Child and A Nation Deceived (this is not a political book!! It's a national report on accelerating gifted students.). Our local library, and I live in a suburb of Cinci, has copies of these books. This might help you make decisions with those aspects in mind.

3. The only problems my husband and I had (as youngest in our classes) was driving later than our friends. Socially, academically, and athletically we were fine (he even ran cross country on a college scholarship). What is interesting about the driving...many teenagers in our area (and that we know through youth group) are waiting to drive because of their extracurricular schedule. They don't have time to take drivers' ed or do their driving time, so they're getting their licenses later.

4. I think several behavior problems in school are occuring from bored kids. Before too many people comment....I am only talking about young kids right now. When kids aren't challenged, they tend to be disruptive...even in small ways (talking to classmates, daydreaming...disruptive to only the teacher, singing, etc). One of the reasons we insisted on our son being in a 4 year old class, which led to the Montessori decision, is because I KNOW he's disruptive when he's bored. And he would be bored in a 3 year old preschool environment. I found this to be true with the elementary school children I taught, as well.

These are just a few things to think about. Have you had her officially evaluated (Stanford-Binet, etc.)? It might be a good idea...Having helped to start a school for gifted children (as a teacher), I have found that there are many resources out there to help you with this decision.

Good luck. You know your daughter best, and can be her best advocate!

 

[Nlbnikki]

Thanks for all of the replies,we are taking our cues from our DD,she is already bored in pre-school. My DD and I are torn as to which way to go,we are not pushing her in anyway,just following her lead. In the end we will do what we feel is best for her,just trying to figure out what that is. The last thing we want is for her to feel overwhelmed in school,but she tends to get side tracked when she is bored.

 

[crisi]

I have two children tagged as gifted. The cutoff date here is September 1st. My own birthday is the end of September and I was a four year old kindergartener and the youngest in my class. My son has a late August birthday and my daughter an early September birthday.

We held my son - he is one of the oldest kids in his class and was six when Kindergarten started. This has made a huge difference in his emotional maturity.

We didn't push my daughter. She turned six two weeks after kindergarden started. She is still emotionally immature for her grade - but at least no one is telling us we should have held her back because of it.

Both my kids read before Kindergarten. But there is more to school than reading. The emotional and social maturity is a huge part of how happy they will be in school.

One of my girlfriends teaches seventh grade. She said in all her years of teaching she's never had a kid she though was "too old" for the class - but she's had many she thought got pushed too fast and would have benefitted from the extra year. It isn't the big deal at eight that it is as puberty hits.

Growing up - and well into adulthodd I always said it didn't make any difference to me that I was the youngest in my class. But when it came to my own kids, they are both the oldest. I guess being the last to drive did hit home. And now, I wouldn't put my kids through the social stigma of being bright and "too young." It was tougher than I admitted until I was looking at my own kids.

 

[crisi]

Oh, I wanted to add - gifted kids don't stop being "unbored" because you put them in school early. They'll just surpass their new peers. You'll have a bored four year old kindergartener who reads better than the other kindergarteners - some of whom are six. You'll have a sixteen year old taking college classes (that was me - do you really want your sixteen year old socializing with kids who are hanging out in the dorms? Frankly, my mother would have given birth to kittens had she had any idea what I was being exposed to). Most schools can't keep up with gifted kids. You need to take responsibility for providing the challenge (unless you get lucky with teachers and schools, in which case her age won't make a difference). Bumping her up a year is at best a temporary solution to "bored" and will create its own issues.

 

[momto2girls]

Oh, I wanted to add - gifted kids don't stop being "unbored" because you put them in school early. They'll just surpass their new peers. You'll have a bored four year old kindergartener who reads better than the other kindergarteners - some of whom are six. You'll have a sixteen year old taking college classes (that was me - do you really want your sixteen year old socializing with kids who are hanging out in the dorms? Frankly, my mother would have given birth to kittens had she had any idea what I was being exposed to). Most schools can't keep up with gifted kids. You need to take responsibility for providing the challenge (unless you get lucky with teachers and schools, in which case her age won't make a difference). Bumping her up a year is at best a temporary solution to "bored" and will create its own issues.

I agree! I was always the youngest child in my class (I started K when I was 4) and I was bored all the way through high school. Even when I was in honors and AP courses, I was still bored.