Opinion please..............

[hinodis]

We have a vacation planned to the smokey mountains in August for 11 days. It is a budget vacation using points, etc. It will be me, DH and DD12 going. DD wants to take a friend along so she will not get bored. Our cabin has an indoor private pool, and fooseball, pool table, video games, etc... I know we will be going out to dinner a couple of times and we plan on seeing a show and we will be going tubing. IF we take a friend are we obligated to pay for everything for the friend? Is it wrong to ask the child's parents for food/spending money?

 

[mjkacmom]

I would be surprised if she didn't offer - my SIL take dd12 for 2 weeks, they go camping one week, another week at a cabin, and she refused to take money (my dd keeps her dd from being bored). However, I give her $200 in gc's for gas. If you add it up, 2 dinners out and tubing is a small price to pay for someone to entertain dd (this is why I had so many close together - never an issue).

 

[woodkins]

I personally would not ask the other parents for spending money, you are inviting the child, so you should be the host. That being said, if I were the parent of the guest child I would OFFER to give you spending $$ and $$ for food etc. I wouldn't ask, and expect nothing, but hope for the best.

 

[Talock]

My thinking is that by inviting you're implying that you're willing to cover everything. That said (or written), the polite thing for her parents to do would be to offer to cover something.

 

[tinkarooni]

I agree with PP, if you are asking than I feel that you are hosting and should pay. Now if I were the parent of the child I would offer to pay for things and probably at the very least give my child spending money. I wouldn't expect that of all though. Good luck, sounds like a fun trip.

 

[Shelli_5]

It is an awkward situation. But I would have no problem politely saying something like, "We would love for Cindy to come with us on vacation. We'll be happy to take care of her accomodations and home cooked meals, but she'll need to bring $___ for eating out, tubing, souvieneers, etc." In this economy, no one should expect a free ride!

 

[hinodis]

With activities and meals out It will peobably be about 300 extra dollars. We have never taken a friens as we have 3 kids and that is enough. Our boys are 20 and 18 and will not be able to go due to work commitments for one and a college band cam for the other. Is it worth the money? Will DD12 get sick of spending so much time with a friend? Girls can bring drama.

 

[mamalle]

I think it would be fun for her to have a friend since its just the 3 of you. I would think they would send her with spending money but that would be as far as I would go as far as stating anything to them. If I invited someone with us I would be paying for their food and activities that we decided to do. Now if it was the other away around- I would ask if they would like some money towards food, etc..

 

[stella27]

I wouldn't ask the other parent for any $$, but if the mom asks, I would say that she only needs money for any souvenirs or incidentals. I would consider it part of the cost of entertaining my child to pay for the friend's activities and meals out. It would probably only add $100 or so to your vacation.

I just re-read your post, and if the $100 or so is a budget-buster, I would explain to your dd that you can't afford to bring a guest. IMO, it would be untoward to invite another child and then expect the parents to pay the child's way. JMO.

 

[carj]

I think that I would expect to pay for the other child's meals and activities. After all, she won't really get much of a choice about where to eat and what to do. I don't mean that you aren't going to be nice to her, but just that she can't really choose to spend less on those things. I hope that makes sense.

I would tell the parents what your plans are and that you will cover the meals and activities. You could mention that she can bring her own money for souveniers if she wants. They may offer to pay for more, I would.

 

[pixiewings71]

OP here is what we did. We decided we would let the girls each invite 1 friend on one of our trips to DL. We let them each call the friend and issue the invite, then we spoke with each of the parents. When I was talking to the parents I let them know that DBF and I would pay for gas to drive to Anaheim (6hrs), for the hotel and that is either of the girls decided to try pin trading we would provide them with pins to trade but that each girl would need to buy their own tickets and bring food and souvie money. Both sets of parents had no problems with that at all and they sent plenty of money with the kids. We gave them back what the kids didn't use and everyone was happy. As a parent if someone else asked my child to go away with them I would be offering up some money to pay for it. Have fun OP, I hope your DDs friend is able to go with you!

 

[wall*e2008]

We have a vacation planned to the smokey mountains in August for 11 days. It is a budget vacation using points, etc. It will be me, DH and DD12 going. DD wants to take a friend along so she will not get bored. Our cabin has an indoor private pool, and fooseball, pool table, video games, etc... I know we will be going out to dinner a couple of times and we plan on seeing a show and we will be going tubing. IF we take a friend are we obligated to pay for everything for the friend? Is it wrong to ask the child's parents for food/spending money?

Since you are doing the inviting you will also be covering the costs.

 

[Darcy03231]

Any time we've invited any of the kids friends to go with us we've planned to cover all the costs, except for souvenirs. Every parent has offered to help pay though.

 

[krcit]

I would never invite someone unless I ws prepared to pay all of the costs. If one of my kids was invited to go away with another family, I would offer to pay some costs but honestly, I'd probably be a bit put off if they asked.

 

[msmayor]

Another who feels if you extend the invitation, you should be prepared to cover all costs except souvenirs.

And I would not advise doing what a previous poster did: extend the invitation to the child and THEN approach the parents to discuss the finances, if you want them to contribute. If they feel they cannot, you've now put them in a bad light as their child may be excited to think they can go and now find out that Mom and Dad say no. Better to clear EVERYTHING with the parents first, THEN ask the child.

Also realize that 11 days is a long time. Ask yourself what you will do if this friend of your daughter's gets homesick halfway through and wants to leave.

 

[MrsPooh]

Our oldest dd brought a friend along on several of our vacations where we rented a beach house. We always assumed that we were inviting the friend as a guest and planned to pay for any expenses.

Every parent offered and two asked how much they should send with their daughters. We always had them only pay for souveniers or other things they might want to buy on their own. We paid for the food at the house, meals when we went out and any activities we did. One family did send money they insisted was for dh and I to go out to dinner alone one evening so we could have a special treat - that was so nice and we really enjoyed it. The girls were old enough to be left alone and watch my younger daughter.

When I was a teen I was invited along on vacation with a friend several times. My parents always gave me spending money and then gave her dad an envelope with money to cover my meals and expenses. At the end of the trip he always handed it back to her with no money removed.

I agree that I would never allow my child to invite someone and then tell the parents the price. We're currently at a point where the grocery budget would be gone if I had to pay for my child to join another family's vacation and it seems unfair to get a child excited and then make the parents be the bad guy who says no.

That said - 11 days is a long time to have an extra person around all the time. By the end of one of our 8 day vacations we could not wait to get one of the girls home and away from us.

 

[dis-happy]

Hey! It's nice to see you again, my Rolex friend.

Maybe the girls could kind of cook up their plans "on their own" and the next thing you know, friend says to her mom "she might be able to invite me if I can pay for my own food and tickets". Then you could hear back from your dd if her friend's mom is amenable, then call and say "I've heard the girls are making plans....would this work for you?" This way you haven't actually extended the formal invitation without finding out first if they are interested in having her go if she pays her own way.

Otherwise, I'd just focus with your dd on the GREAT TIME just the 3 of you are going to have together. We all know how fast they grow up!!!

Take care and good luck!

 

[yeahdisney]

I like you guys- willing to take my child and pay for their way.

Now here, even if someone says we are going to the water park does your kid what to go? We pay for our kid to go, $7 for the admittance, and money for their lunch and snacks and for any activity after. I'm so willing to pay, so my child can go have fun while I'm working that day.

Now if it is a birthday party and the child has been invited, we have not been asked to give anything.

 

[okeydokey]

An invitation implies that you are paying, or at least if I was inviting I would plan on paying. If the parent asks what your plans for the days are and offers money for the park, I guess you could accept. Really though i would pnly expect the friend to cover her own personal souvenirs.

 

[PinkRhombus]

The friend is, technically, going to be doing YOU a favor by helping keep your child entertained and in a good mood during your trip. When you think of it though, isn't that worth the cost of extra meals?