Opinion please..............

[TheBigBadWolf]

Budget trip or not, I would never ask an invited friend's parents to pay for their child's expenses. If you invite her, you should pay. My DD was an only child, so she usually asked a friend along on all of our trips and vacations. We always paid for everything except souvenirs . My child was invited on several family vacations with her friends also, and although we offered to pay her way, nobody ever accepted any money for her part of the expenses.

 

[MAH4546]

I'm agreeing with the choir: you are responsible for an invited guests food, lodging, and activities (i.e. tickets). The guest should only pay for souvineirs. A polite parent will always offer to pay/contribute, but you should politely refuse the request.

 

[pixiewings71]

Another who feels if you extend the invitation, you should be prepared to cover all costs except souvenirs.

And I would not advise doing what a previous poster did: extend the invitation to the child and THEN approach the parents to discuss the finances, if you want them to contribute. If they feel they cannot, you've now put them in a bad light as their child may be excited to think they can go and now find out that Mom and Dad say no. Better to clear EVERYTHING with the parents first, THEN ask the child.

Also realize that 11 days is a long time. Ask yourself what you will do if this friend of your daughter's gets homesick halfway through and wants to leave.

Since this is directed at my post I feel a reply is not out of order. You do have a good point and depending on the friend that's exactly how I would have handled it, however with a few of both of my children's friends we know this is not a necessity. These are people we've known for years, our kids call each others families Mom & Dad and they know they are always welcome when we are home. The girls both chose friends who we are very close to, under the circumstances we felt confident that having the kids ask first was perfectly acceptable and it was. But yes, that probably is not the norm so it's a good point to make. Oh and OP, our trip was only Friday nite thru Monday evening and one of our girls was very homesick at the end of the trip, that was the 9 y.o. tho, the 12 y.o. would have been happy to stay with us longer. lol

 

[OceanAnnie]

If my child were the invitee, I would ask what type of activities would be involved and I'd send enough money to cover it. I wouldn't expect everything to be covered.

 

[SandrA9810]

I've been invited with friends before and had to pay my way for my extra expenses, but at the same time, my g'parents let my best friend come with me on a summer trip to Indiana without her paying for anything.

I guess it depends on how close you are to the other family, if you feel comfortable asking for money. Maybe your daughter could bring it up to the friend... that way the girls can discuss things and the girl can ask the parent, and kids usually don't feel uncomfortable the way adults do.

On the other hand, if you don't ask for money for pre planned outings, I would suggest that you mention that they should give some for any souvies that she might want. And hope that they suggest covering some of her costs.

 

[jessica52877]

I just wanted to say that I don't have much experience in this department but I would be happy for DS6 to be invited along (when he is older) and I would more then willing and expect to pay. I would hate for an opportunity to pass because the parents couldn't spring for the extra $100 (just throwing out a #, I expect it to cost more).

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

I only extend an invitation if I am prepared to cover all costs. I cannot image inviting someone somewhere and telling them their costs.

 

[momxx5]

Times are changing.....around here at least. With about 50% of families around here having the fathers without jobs it is really hard to invite along friend and pay for all. DS is often invited to vacation with one of his friends. All the times they have asked they have covered everything except soveniers. The mom called a week or so asking if DS would like to join them for 8 days of camping in the mountains. She said that they would cover everything except they planned on tubing which was $ X, an amusement park which was $X and something else, plus spending money for arcades & soveniers. I know that her DH has been out of work for almost a year so it was not out of line and I completely understand. So, if your family circumstances allow you to bring the child and cover everyday expenses but not the "extras" I would not worry about asking the girl's parents. The economy is tough on everyone right now.

 

[Green Tea]

I would expect to pay for all meals and entertainment. I think the child would likely pay for their souvenirs. It is expensive. We're taking extras on vacation this year. Flights, food, extra hotel rooms. It adds up!

 

[dismom24]

If I was doing the inviting, I would pay for the extra child. That said, my DS has been invited away to Pigeon Forge for a week with friends who were on a tight buget. They asked if we could cover amusement park ticket for him and souvenier money and I had no problem with that - they are pretty expensive. I also sent lots of snacks, since they were camping and doing most meals at campsite.

 

[MrsPete]

We have a vacation planned to the smokey mountains in August for 11 days. It is a budget vacation using points, etc. It will be me, DH and DD12 going. DD wants to take a friend along so she will not get bored. Our cabin has an indoor private pool, and fooseball, pool table, video games, etc... I know we will be going out to dinner a couple of times and we plan on seeing a show and we will be going tubing. IF we take a friend are we obligated to pay for everything for the friend? Is it wrong to ask the child's parents for food/spending money?

I'm with the majority: if you invite, you pay. You already said you want to take the friend for your daughter's benefit (so your daughter won't be bored). I'd expect the friend to pay for any souveniers she might want, but lodging, activities, and food should be "your treat".

Regardless of what you decide, you should discuss finances up front when you extend the invitation. Don't assume anything.

I'd also suggest that you have the friend in question over for an overnight (that would include a meal out at a restaurant) BEFORE you invite her. Consider it a "trial run", but only you and your husband know what's up. Observe her to make sure she fits in well with your family, that she's not impossible to feed, that she isn't overly demanding, etc. If this particular friend doesn't seem to be "the right choice", try another friend before inviting.

 

[PinkRhombus]

Times are changing.....around here at least. With about 50% of families around here having the fathers without jobs it is really hard to invite along friend and pay for all. DS is often invited to vacation with one of his friends. All the times they have asked they have covered everything except soveniers. The mom called a week or so asking if DS would like to join them for 8 days of camping in the mountains. She said that they would cover everything except they planned on tubing which was $ X, an amusement park which was $X and something else, plus spending money for arcades & soveniers. I know that her DH has been out of work for almost a year so it was not out of line and I completely understand. So, if your family circumstances allow you to bring the child and cover everyday expenses but not the "extras" I would not worry about asking the girl's parents. The economy is tough on everyone right now.

If they can't cover the other kids expenses, then they shouldn't be asking.

The only reason they ask a friend is to benefit their OWN family. The kid is doing THEM a big favor, not so much the other way around. They entertain each other, give's your child something to deal with other than ONLY the parents...and it ends up in a better vacation for the parents.