One more day. (next update)

[Rajah]

Physical effects are starting to hit me this time. I'm having the headache from you-know-where, but that's not surprising. I just wish I could find something that would help it lessen a bit. Advil isn't doing much, I can't take tylenol, Advil typically works better on me than Alieve, a hot shower did very little, and Tai Chi warmup exercises helped for all of 30 minutes. I'm too weak to do more than that. I may just have to start popping more Advil because 2 is helping enough to be manageable for now.

Actually, maybe I should also go back to the library and see if I can find the yoga book I tried a while back that had a bunch of exercises you could do on the floor. Hmm.

Anyway, back to us for today. It hit a little harder for me today, as was to be expected. It's still too unreal, and I'm still emotionally in denial, though ... oh, insert the right term here for non-emotion-but-mental-whatever-ly ... that way anyway, I know it's happened. There were a few calls my mom had to make this morning because I just couldn't face them. What's been great, though, is that every time I've been weak, she's been at a point in the roller-coaster to be strong, and vice-versa. And those few times when we've both been too weak to do something, someone else was there who could step in for us. God will provide.

We got a lot of information today, got a bit done.

One thing I was dreading that wasn't really as bad as I'd feared was visiting the funeral home to make the arrangements. The man there was absolutely fantastic. He got the paperwork done that was needed, but in addition to that he had us both laughing and crying (both of which are healing), and said some things that my mom especially needed to hear. I didn't need to hear it as much because I have my online support group who had already told me those same words. My mom does not, not in the same fashion.

Let's see... my grandparents, aunt, and cousin came in today, and I did witness another miracle in that. For all my life, my mom has all but *HATED* my grandparents and aunt. She was 100% positive they would blame her. She blames herself, at least in part. (Strangely, at this point in time anyway, I'm feeling no guilt. The only honest regret I have that I *could* have done something else about was that I didn't show him the cross stitch pattern I designed for him and was going to give him on his birthday in just a couple of weeks.) Anyway, the miracle was how they pulled together as well. She didn't open up to them quite like she did to my FIL, but she did open up twice or three times more than I've ever seen her do with them. That is a very major positive.

The hardest part of the day was going back to my parent's house after the funeral home so my mom could get a few more things to last her the next few days. My DH still won't let my mom and me upstairs. He knows we're not quite ready yet.

Have I mentioned that my DH is an angel? This man has been 3 steps ahead of everything I think of.

Oh, and my mom's changed her mind now after a night's sleep and prayer. She doesn't want to sell the house after all, not unless she has no other choice. That has been her home for the past 14+ years, she doesn't want to leave it and all the memories behind. As long as she can live there in safety and be at peace there, I agree with her decision. I think we'll be able to find some way for her to stay there. We're sure going to try. And my DH seems confident that things will be okay as well. I trust him.

Well, I'm fading fast, so I'm going to cut the update here and head to bed so I can try to get at least *some* sleep before tomorrow.

One plus of these hives I've been fighting (which I can say with absolute confidence *are* made worse by stress ) is that I take 2 benadryl before bedtime. That, in addition to my physical exhaustion, in addition to the prayers of friends and family allowed me to sleep pretty well last night considering. I'm hoping the same will be true tonight.

By the way, as an aside -- I apologize, but my PM box has filled up and I can't go through it right now to clean it out enough for more. If you wish to contact me, please use my email (just let me know what your screenname is, please) or the email feature of the DIS to contact me, or I've re-activated AIM with the name TRapp1700

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Aren't those funeral home directors wonderful? Their training seems to pay off in how they are able to comfort during what could otherwise be a fairly traumatic event, all those choices and decisions on arranging for a funeral.

Glad it went ok for you and your mother.


Will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Sleep tight.

 

[wdwnutze]

Thanks for posting again. You have been in my thoughts. I'm glad you and your mom have been able to support each other. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Make sure you both get some rest.

 

[Kteacher]

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

[marlasmom]

When my sister became widowed suddenly, the doctor told her not to make any decisions for a year. She said it was good advice and passed it along to my best friend who lost her husband last year.

My prayers for you continue.

 

[Serena]

{{{{hugs}}}}

 

[Big V]

{{{Hugs}}} to you.

 

[ripleysmom]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Otto's Doll]

Originally posted by marlasmom
When my sister became widowed suddenly, the doctor told her not to make any decisions for a year. She said it was good advice and passed it along to my best friend who lost her husband last year.

My prayers for you continue.

Absolutely. My Dad was told the same thing when we lost my mom 7 years ago, and it was the best advice. I am praying for you Tammi, and am grateful to see how God has provided for you.Tell your DH that 55,000 of your closest friends at the DIS appreciate him more than he knows.
God bless you.
Jeanne

 

[dianeschlicht]

I'm proud of how you are handling this. I know how hard it is to both grieve and be support for your mom.

I will continue to keep you both in my prayers.

 

[helenabear]

Thank you again for updating us, Tammi. I think holding off on making major decisions for a year is a very wise idea. I pray that all works out so your mom can stay in the house. Keep on hanging in there and you are right... God will provid

 

[CRB#33]

Tammi,

I'm glad you're sleeping okay, and that once again, you've had some true blessings. I so admire your perception of those things.

Take care today and {{HUGS}}

 

[Pop Daddy]

hang in there

 

[DisneyObsessed]

Thank you so much for updating us. You are in my thoughts so much of the time. As a side note....3 Advil never hurts Take care.

 

[Cindy B]

My DH said the funeral home was one of the worst things as well... he did remember it being a blur as well.

I know it sounds trite, but to see the positive things that are going on.. is just amazing. I know my MIL would be thrilled to see all five siblings (DH and sibs) getting along, and communicating. Unfortunately she never saw that.

Please take care of yourself. Tylenol PM worked wonders for me.

 

[janette]

{{{{HUGS}}}}

 

[jx3smom]

I am so sorry for your loss and will continue to pray for you and your family.

I lost my mother almost 2 years ago and things have gotten easier. The good thing that happened after that is that my sister started to talk to me again and I do wish my mom had been alive to see it.

 

[browneyes]

Walking will help your headache (it'll help oxygenate your body) and will also help you with the stress.

 

[rasnlms]

My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. Prayers for continued strength. And I'm glad you are also remembering to take care of yourself.