Okay...........now it's Weight Watchers Here I go again!

[Strings]

Woohoo! another pound gone. Good for you! I love the list of changes. I need to do something like that. Have fun at DD's school. It's great that you help out so much. Onederland here you come.
Beth

 

[marsh0013]

yaaaay for another pound gone . i'm sure you'll be seeing that .5 pounds whooooosh away real quick! you'll be into onederland next time, i'm sure of it! and great job with keeping a positive attitude, realizing that other things are changing, not just your weight

 

[A1A1]

Update for today: Wednesday, January 28


Snowman contest was cancelled at dd's school due to weather. Well, it is winter. I don't know what kind of weather would be appropriate for making a snowman if not winter.

I slept for a couple of hours today, and am feeling better tonight than I usually do at this time.

Ate on plan.

Breakfast --- three ham slices with three lf swiss slices rolled up with a little bit of that delicious eggplant chutney inside. Diet Rite.

Snack --- almonds/cheese stick

Lunch --- I slept through it, I think.

Snack --- ricotta cheese with Atkins vanilla syrup and crushed walnuts.

Dinner --- Kids meal from Boston Chicken--4 oz white turkey steamed veggies. I am still feeling hungry, so I need to have some water, maybe some tea, and maybe a little piece of sliced turkey.

I am so unmotivated to get on treadie. I have to do something about this situation. I will make a concerted effort to do it in the morning. By evening, I am purely miserable. I want nothing but sleep. I am going to brave the cold, and go out to my car to get the tape recorder. I hope it works. Borrowed. Nothing records anymore-----all these players just play CDs.

 

[Castillo Mom]

A, I'm with you and not wanting to exercise in the evening, tooooo tired. Congratulations on losing that pound, woohoo! I've been wanting to thank you about the suggestion to park my car further away when I'm out. I've been doing that ever since you mentioned it and I appreciate the idea. An added plus is that I don't have to fight for the far away parking spaces!

 

[A1A1]

The view is very nice here in Onederland!! Onederland!! Onederland!! Onederland!!


I got on the scale this morning. 200. That was good, because it was half pound lower than the previous day. "Well," I thought, "Let me just try again." 199.5! I thought maybe I should move the scale over a little just to make sure it wasn't a fluke. 199.5. Good. I thought now that I had better check a few more times to see if it would go up. Seven times later: 199.5! I think I will accept it now. It was a total of ten times with the scale in different locations in the bathroom.

Boy does this feel good. I have lost 15.5 pounds with the help of my WISH team. Thank you all. I have to thank you sincerely and from the bottom of my heart. WISH has made all the difference to me in how I approach my lifestyle and thinking about myself and the world.

I am now going to add my first clippie to my signature.

 

[DoeWDW]

ONEDERLAND!!!!

A, that is such GREAT NEWS!! You seem so happy and excited!! I'm thrilled for you!!

All your hard work is paying off, girlfriend!!

I know what you mean about rechecking that scale.....just one more time.....just to make sure......can it REALLY be???

Find a way to pamper yourself - maybe paint your nails? Do something to mark this momentous occasion!

You go, girl!! It's all onward and downward from here!

 

[A1A1]

[sorry] I guess you can't delete posts anymore.

 

[A1A1]

I posted this in a WISH friend's journal, but in re-reading it, I realized I was talking to myself. I needed to paste this post into my own journal so that I could read it in my own context. Hope that WISH friend doesn't mind.


Wow. This is jam packed with emotions and thoughts that many of us here on WISH have probably experienced to some degree so we all can relate.

I feel that I am driven and powered by guilt. As CastilloMom said, she has had people avoid her, "unfriend" her, and so have I but for different reasons. I lost friends when I gained weight. All of this guilt is such a burden. What I have to learn, and maybe others too, is to let other people have their issues without letting them affect me (us). Maybe we are the sensitive feelers, the wounded healers of the world, so we have carried ours and everybody elses emotions and problems in the form of extra weight.

Let's learn to lighten the load all the way around. Let's just try to evolve into the person we are to become in the end without the added weight of not only our mixed up emotions, but everone else's too.

My Mother suffered a very serious illness when she was young. She read a book called "The Power of Positive Thinking" in which she learned to use practical tools and tricks to change her mindset. For example, when a bad or negative thought came to her mind about her illness, she would say two words out loud, "click, click" and then consciously change her train of thought. She would have to do that many times throughout the day. Maybe this is something we could work on when the negativity and guilt start creeping up on us. "Click, click" and a reversal of negative thought to something wonderful and positive. It may sound simplistic, but it might work.

That being said, I do think it's extremely important to change the mind as the body changes. Perhaps that is why profound weight loss is slow. It takes time for our mind to catch up to the body. Journaling is the best thing I have done in a long time. I plan to conitnue this healing process through journaling. Also, I am determined to stop my all-or-nothing thinking. That just sets me up for failure. I am not sure if that is how you think as well, Lisa. It is a really bad habit, I have come to believe. Even after you reach your weight loss goal, there may be lots more work to do on the inside. There will be for most of us, I imagine. Like you said, it has been many years of being and acting like one person. We are learning to act like another person. A very wise person in my life said to me once, "Everyone has the right to change." We don't have to stay the same to suit others' expectations of us. We have the right to grow as people and to change as a result of our spiritual and emotional growth. You and I have that right. We are choosing to exercise it.

Keep in mind that you are doing this for yourself-----not for anyone else. Remember that. It's about you. So often, we put the needs and wants of others.....our children, spouses, co-workers, strangers......above our own. We stuff our feelings and fill our own needs with unneeded food. It's about you. My journey is about me. Doe said I was like a butterfly coming out of a cacoon, I think. You are too. You are evolving. No one, nothing is perfect. Give yourself a break, and don't expect perfection. Expect to do the best you can for yourself at that particular moment.

You have every right to give advice to others on this weight loss journey, because you have been there. You have been to the place so many of us have been. We share a common bond. We have gone a similar path. You have made changes in your life that may or may not be successful for other people who also want to make changes. You are a beautiful soul. You have a beautiful body that was a gift. You are just now learning to love it even more. Re-read the list you made of the things that have changed for you. Pick out one thing to look at in the mirror that you really like about yourself right now. Maybe it is your smile, maybe it is your left earlobe. I don't know.......but find things to love about yourself.

Be kind to yourself. Love yourself more than you ever have. I am using "you" but I am writing this for myself, too. I learn more about myself every time I post to others.

We genuinely care about you, L, and we will be kind and gentle and loving about the you that you are becoming on this journey of enlightenment.

I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful, and self-loving day........not a perfect day..........but a great day.

 

[DoeWDW]

A, I did want to post one more thing. Please, please, please don't get discouraged if you go up and down a little on the scale. You've seen that beautiful onederland and you will continue to see it more and more, but if the scale goes back to 200 for a day or two, please hang in there and it will go back down.

Just don't want you to feel discouraged if the number wavers a bit. Maybe it won't for you - but it always does for me.

So no matter what that silly scale does, you're on the right track!

 

[marsh0013]

hey a! congrats on onewonderland

i knew you could do it, and i know you will have no problem staying there, and keep is going down down down! keep up the great work! have a wonderful day today

 

[Strings]

ONEDERLAND
A, I'm so proud of you. You have worked so hard to lose that weight. You are doing an amazing job. You are an inspiration. Woohoo. What are you doing to celebrate?

I also wanted to thank you for your replies to my journal. Your continued support has helped me tremendously. Thank you.


Beth

Sister, get youself a clippie.

 

[marsh0013]

good morning A, i hope you have a wonderful day

 

[A1A1]

What a crazy day!!! I had to sub for a teacher first thing in the morning for an hour. Crazy morning before that. Waited outside for the bus for dd, and it never came. Had to drive her to school and get to my first assignment by 7:15 am. Conducted the rehearsal, then drove to my full day assignment at a different school.

Problems--------no time to eat breakfast or take meds. --------------------Forgot to bring lunch to work.

Got a small leftover salad with a scoop of tuna from the cafeteria at 10:00 am. Yucky wilted and brown lettuce. No choice though.

I had a few walnuts for a snack with water. Happened to have the walnuts in my car!

I was "starving" by the time I got home at 5:30 pm. Friday night has become pizza and movie night with dd. Here is where the big problem came in---------

I was so hungry that I ate the toppings off two slices of a small pizza without any regard for the sugar content in the sauce. Then, I ate almost all of my giant antipasto salad with two packets of Italian dressing. I noticed that the dressing had corn syrup in it. Also, 4g carbs (3g of them sugar) in each packet. I ate about 1.5 packets of this sugary dressing. This salad was huge. My stomach hurts from the amount of food in it. I feel awful.

 

[DoeWDW]

A, you did the best you could given the circumstances. I think you did very well with all the obstacles put in your way!

Hang in there, because tomorrow is a new day. This was just a little bump in the road.

P.S. Had to edit the name - I've obviously been up too late tonight!!!

 

[A1A1]

Craziest thing....I ran into an old boyfriend tonight. I actually started talking with his wife a few days ago without knowing who she was. We were both volunteering at dd's school. After a few puzzle pieces started fitting together, I said, "I think I know your husband."

I ran into her again tonight at a school function. She said that I should wait and say hello to her dh.
Ugh," I thought. "I was alot smaller then." I was so self conscious, but at least a little more confident with these fifteen pounds gone. I am always thinking that people that I run into are thinking, "Boy, she has packed on some weight." I hate that. I feel like all people see when they look at me is weight. Fat. I am so tired of being the heavy woman. I want to be normal, so that I don't stick out anymore. I don't want people to look at me and see weight. I want them to be able to look inside of me and see me.

Anyway, he was nice. Gave me a big hug. He still has a full head of hair! That akward moment is over. I don't know how much more "running into" him I want to do.

 

[marsh0013]

aw A, i'm sorry you had an unpredictable morning, but you definitely made the best choices possible. and you have to treat yourself to the pizza (even if it's just the toppings) every now and again. so you had a little too much of the sauce. you will survive! i'm sorry it made you feel awful, maybe this will be a positive - like next time, you'll think about the afterward feeling and it'll stop you? i'm trying to help you see the positive

it's always awkward to run into old boyfriends. ick. i'm glad you survived that run-in, it'll definitely make things easier if you run into him (or her) again. and i totally understand what you're saying about feeling like everyone thinks you're fat. i just wanted to let you know that i feel like that too. even though i'm not technically "overweight", or any of that stuff. i'm still so self concious about it. i'm trying to work on that. but that's what this journey is about. it's about making yourself more comfortable with yourself, along with becoming healthier, of course. we all know that you are a wonderful person, inside and out!

hope you have a great day tomorrow

 

[A1A1]

It's finally Saturday........Slept in until 8:00! I long for those days when I could sleep in until 10:00.

Breakfast----two slices deli turkey, two slices of lf swiss cheese, two slices of lf salami, and a little eggplant chutney.




I definitely didn't drink enough water yesterday, so that is a goal for today. Drink more water!

I really want to get back in my bed, but I have to finish knitting a scarf that I am giving for a gift in a couple of days.

 

[Strings]

A,

I'm sorry you had a rough day. You made good choices from what was on offer. I hope you had a wonderful Saturday with DD. Is Sunday weigh in? If so pixie dust your way. I'll check with you tomorrow.
Beth

 

[A1A1]

Well, Saturday is over, and it's probably a good thing. I got so close to going seriously off my plan. I wanted something crunchy and carby so badly. I had a dog biscuit in my hand for the dog. I truly almost took a bite. I wasn't thinking. It was an urge.







I did something for myself yesterday. I sang with the folk group at church. It's a loose group. You come when you can. I haven't been able to get there on a Saturday for about three months. Yesterday, I was determined to go. I made it to the rehearsal, and sang at the mass right after. It was such a release for my spirit. I had a blast, and felt revived afterward. I didn't go off my plan yesterday, and also didn't have anything to eat after church.

I had the cable tv turned on again today. Hope it doesn't turn me back into a junkie. I am so concerned about dd turning into a junkie, I am not going to even tell her that it's hooked up. She still thinks we can only watch movies.

It's 9:30, and we haven't eaten breakfast yet. I'll see what can be thrown together. I've kind of lost my desire for food.







Edit-----------

Breakfast - Three links of lf chicken sausage with mushrooms, spinach, and feta cheese. Decaf Coffee, and my favorite lc ketchup.

Going to visit dh today. I hope he is well, and that his hair isn't too long. That drives me crazy.

 

[Strings]

A,

I'm so glad you took some time for yourself. The folk group at church sounds like fun. Are you going to do it on a regular basis?

Hmm, was it a low carb dog-biscuit? Hey if they are good enough for Mel Gibson... Just kidding. It would have been crunchy though. I'm proud of you for staying on plan.
Beth