Okay, I may be paranoid here... (racial question)

[RadioNate]

That was a quote from Seinfeld... of COURSE there was something wrong with it because it DID bother me, and still does.

I actually posted this to get a better idea of how other races thought about this. Every single Black person I told was HIGHLY offended and disgusted. Then they told me about the time it happened to THEM. I wanted to know if it happened to others and feel better to know that it has.

Thanks everyone, this is interesting.

It happens to white people too. I've got it at Target, Walmart, Kohls, probablly 1/2 the stores at the mall, all over WDW. When I worked at a hotel, I sometimes helped out in housekeeping so I'm not really offended by being thought of as a housekeeper. As a matter of fact I got asked 2 nights ago about getting more paper towels in the bathroom...did someone think I was the bathroom attendent at the AT&T center. I actually didn't think of it that way...I just assumed that they thought I looked like someone who would know who to get towels from.

I agree that racism and racial sterotypes exists but this inciedent isn't worth getting all worked up with.

FWIW, I've also been asked by workers if I'm the babysitter or nanny in my own home.

 

[Nancy]

That was a quote from Seinfeld... of COURSE there was something wrong with it because it DID bother me, and still does.

I actually posted this to get a better idea of how other races thought about this. Every single Black person I told was HIGHLY offended and disgusted. Then they told me about the time it happened to THEM. I wanted to know if it happened to others and feel better to know that it has.

Thanks everyone, this is interesting.

I don't see it as much racial, I see it as ignorance. I would never appraoch anyone at a hotel that was not in uniform and assume they worked there. Those at the desk will have name tags on if they don't wear uniforms.

I also get asked all the name if I work there when I'm at work...I think that is a totally different situation.

IF the woman would have said "excuse me but do you work here?" and waited for a response I might not feel that way, but she jumped right in with "I need more pillows" like you could automatically do something about it.
So as a white woman..IF I was in your shoes I would have been upset by the assumption that I was a worker at the resort, even if I was in vacation clothes.

 

[In a hurry]

Minkydog, that is horrid! I am so glad you found a place that appreciated you as customers, and your son as special!

 

[minkydog]

FWIW, I've also been asked by workers if I'm the babysitter or nanny in my own home.

I guess that's better than asking if you're the Grandma
(One of the dis-advantages of having kids at 40.)

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

i really think you should just let this go. i've been walking back from the Pool at POP in a BATHING suit as Mousekeeping is cleaning my room (meaning hte cart is right outside the room) and people ask me for things...i mean i am in a BATHING SUIT!! hahaha (i'm hispanic) i just laugh and say no. it's not a big deal and it happens to me all the time!! i don't care i am on vacation to have a good time not to stew over little stuff. Even when i used to work (SAHM now)i was a concierge at a big name Chciago hotel and people would ask me when i would be cleaning their room or if i was with housekeeping or other stuff like that. it didn't bother me i just otld them i was the concierge and i could get everything taken care of.

Another comment on this thread did disturb me though, there is nothing wrong with working at a WalMart and just because people work there doesn't mean they didn't go to college. i'm college educated and if Wal-Mart would hire me to work on sundays only (just to get away from the house for a few hours) i would work there too!! i just want to get out and enjoy adults for awhile!! haha DH not included and just because they work there does not mean they haven't done anything meaningful in their lives...just wanted to mention that.

 

[MAKmom]

Yes I agree you were a victim of racial profiling.

I have stayed at the MGV & it's all outdoor unit entrance.
The staff was wearing golf shirts & kakhi shorts & outside they had on Sunglasses. But this woman saw a black woman alone & assumed you were staff.
It's weird she would ask someone walking around for towels instead of calling housekeeping.

It sounds like she is not used to staying in hotels.

 

[brerrabbit]

I am a white male and while on occasion have been mistaken for somebody who works in a certain store ( as my DD says never wear my red shirt and kakhi pants to Target) I can understand how the OP and her friends feel. It's very hard to put into words and very hard for many people to understand because they just have not been in that circumstance. Oh sure we all may have been mistaken for a worker at some point and just laughed it off but again, it's not the same. A very good friend of mine at work is a 6 foot 3 inch black male who weighs about 250. I am 6' 1" and weigh about 260. We are both big guys. We once attended a racial diversity class and talked about our feelings and other peoples reactions to us. We work in downtown Houston and therefore ride a lot of elevators. My friend is an MBA educated professional who dresses extremly well. Even in this day and age he feels the tension every time a woman gets on an elevator with him alone. Nine times out of ten she (usually white) will huddle in one corner and not make eye contact or acknowledge him. You could say that it's not because he's black but rather that he is a big guy. Well I am just as big but white and I have never encountered a white woman who has any hesitancy in getting on the elevator and smiling and saying hello. Now mind you we work in a 50 story building and we all work for the same company so how do you justify the reaction he gets vs myself. I have rode the elevator with him and when a woman gets on they will stand as close to me and as far from him as possible.

The moral of the story. If it makes you uncomfortable, I am sorry and I do understand. I will never be able to walk in your shoes and truely understand what you encounter in your life. I will not dismiss your feelings by saying it's no big deal. Because it is a big deal. I like to think that prejudice is a thing of the past and that we have moved past it but the reality is we have not. We have come a very long way and I hope we continue to improve but the reality is it still is out there.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I think it was very offensive. The OP was in vacation attire, not your standard HK uniform, so the woman assumed she worked there based on the fact that the OP had the skin color of a minority. What else would make the woman think she was a housekeeper and not her vacationing neighbor???? I can almost say with certainty, that had the OP been white, dressed in the same clothing (flipflops,sunglasses) she would not have been approached as a housekeeper.

I usually look for a uniform before I ask any housekeeping questions. Better yet, I hit the nice housekeeping button on the telephone and make my requests that way.

 

[RickinNYC]

I don't blame you for being offended at all. Sometimes, sure, it could just be an innocent mistake much like others here have stated, i.e simply asking if someone works somewhere. Been asked that a ton myself. But othertimes, 21st century notwithstanding, there are complete and total idiots who allow their racist attitudes shine forth in their idiotic assumptions.

I've seen it happen in our own family. Many, many times growing up, people thought my mother (Japanese) was the maid, others thought she was the cook, still others thought she was the nanny. And they treated her as such. Not realizing that they were not dealing with "the help" but that she was the one that ran our house 110% and had three boys and an anesthesiologist husband wrapped around her finger.

We heard many many muttered apologies and stammered comments of surprise.

Racism exists and it may not be as evident as it was years ago, but it's still there in people's attitudes and assumptions. Exactly like assuming a black woman in a predominantly white high end resort might be a maid. It happens, not sure why some of you wouldn't think so.

 

[minkydog]

Another comment on this thread did disturb me though, there is nothing wrong with working at a WalMart and just because people work there doesn't mean they didn't go to college. i'm college educated and if Wal-Mart would higher me to work on sundays only (just to get away from the house for a few hours) i would work there too!! i just want to get out and enjoy adults for awhile!! haha DH not included and just because they work there does not mean they haven't done anything meaningful in their lives...just wanted to mention that.

That was my comment, and you're right--it was snotty. I'll go back an fix that. I'm sorry I offended you.
cathy

 

[Robinrs]

And unfortunately I don't think this experience is isolated. We went out of town this weekend, took the kids on a train ride(first time!). We ducked into a little soda shop for some ice cream--it was so cute, like something out of the 50's. My DD13 was so excited to sit on the stool at the soda counter.

No one would wait on us. Not only that, they refused to make eye contact after the initial look. We sat there for about 10 minutes, feeling more uncomfortable. They knew we were there--we were close enough,I could have reached over and slapped the watiress on the butt.Was it racial? no, the 3 waitresses were white, we're white. Was it economic? I don't think so. We were dressed nicely,looking oh so middle class.

It had to be my mentally ******** son. He's a sweety, but he grunts and drools and looks...well, ********. After 10 minutes of being ignored, we left & crossed the street to a competitor who not only was happy to serve us, but gave DS an extra scoop of ice cream for smiling so nicely.

We get this a lot(most people are not this obvious ) Those people don't know me or my lovely family. They don't realize how incredibly shallow & small-minded they are. I don't take it personally. I just take my business elsewhere.

Minkydog: I am soooo sorry.

Prejudging carries a wide wide brush, may it be economical, racial, physical or whatever, it does exist.

I think this thread has taken a turn I sort of expected. Please realize that I am not a paranoid woman who has never been anywhere, I'm a 50 year old former New Yorker, so I've pretty much seen and heard EVERYTHING you can imagine. I'm also a highly educated broadcaster who, up until recently, worked and lived in a totally white world.

Many times I've been ignored, looked down upon. not given eye contact and treated in a way I didn't expect or deserve, and many times I've had to do the right thing and turn the other cheek. Many MANY times. This time was different for some reason and that's why I decided to ask.

Not once would I consider posting a thread on someone asking me for the bananas in Kroger... ... COME ON PEOPLE!! Ya THINK I've been there a coupla million times, too????

Continue, this is VERY interesting....

 

[lovetheparks]

Welcome to the "World of you are Imagining it"

I think you had every right to be upset. Sometimes it's more than just words spoken.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

MinkyDog--> That was an awful story! i can't believe that happened! but good for you for getting up and leaving and BONUS you got an extra scoop for DS!!

ETA: Thank you for editing your post, it was just my OP but that's also the way in interpreted the Wal-Mart comment.

About the car dealership thing, we just experienced this, but i don't think it was racial as my DH is white, but i am VERY hispanic anyways we went to a dealership and NO ONE would help us even after we inquired about a car, the dealer said just moment and continued to talk to his buddies (all salesmen!) sooo we just left and went to the next place and bought our minivan!! woohoo...(which i can't believe i lived this long without one!!)

I went back to the other dealer and spoke to the manager and showed him we were serious buyers and someone more well deserving got our serious money (we paid in cash). He apologized but it was too little too late!

 

[nkjzmom]

"Stupid is as stupid does"

Sometimes people are stupid because they just don't think before they speak or act. Sometimes people are stupid because they're just plain stupid (ie, ignorant or mean). Robin, sorry you met one! I hope the rest of your trip was/is better!

 

[Robinrs]

We heard many many muttered apologies and stammered comments of surprise.

Racism exists and it may not be as evident as it was years ago, but it's still there in people's attitudes and assumptions. Exactly like assuming a black woman in a predominantly white high end resort might be a maid. It happens, not sure why some of you wouldn't think so.

Because if you don't live it 24/7 you don't believe it, sweety. Imagine trying to raise a son to NOT let it bother him, a job I WISH I didn't have.

 

[sajetto]

That was a quote from Seinfeld... of COURSE there was something wrong with it because it DID bother me, and still does.

I actually posted this to get a better idea of how other races thought about this. Every single Black person I told was HIGHLY offended and disgusted. Then they told me about the time it happened to THEM. I wanted to know if it happened to others and feel better to know that it has.

Thanks everyone, this is interesting.

Without actually seeing the exchange the people on these boards really can't give a valid opinon on what happened. Just hearing it, it doesn't sound like a race issue, but again I wasn't there. I suppose you have to listen for a tone or a certain remark.

I'm white so of course I have no idea what experiences dealing with race that black people have or vice versa. If you had a DEEP feeling about it then who am I or anyone else to tell you that what you think happened didn't.

I hope this is something you won't let fester or take over your day. It isn't worth it and I'm certain that the woman that made the remark has forgotten all about it and about you. Don't give her the validation of letting her or her attitude remain in your thoughts.

 

[Marseeya]

Welcome to the "World of you are Imagining it"

I think you had every right to be upset. Sometimes it's more than just words spoken.

Sorry, I know it's not funny, but the two of you should get together over drinks.

Let me just apologize to both of you.

From my end, reading a single incident in your lives, it's very easy for me to look at it and say that you're reading the situation wrong. But the rest of us aren't there to see the little subtleties and nuances of the incident so we've got to use our own experiences to try to understand what you're saying. Personally, I'm an obese woman. I have to choose not to see prejudice in all of my interactions because I would go crazy otherwise.

 

[Amapola]

Unless you've been on the receving end of discrimination or stereotyping, you won't "get" the OP's point. As a Puerto Rican woman, I totally understand and agree with her perception of this incident. Discrimination and stereotyping take so many forms, from the overt to the subtle. I am "white" in appearance (pale skin, straight hair), I speak perfect English, have 2 graduate degrees and a management position in goverment here in PR. I can't tell you how many times people in the US tell me, with great surprise in their voice, "But you don't look Puerto Rican!" Depending on my mood that day and the way in which the question is posed, I respond "Well, what do Puerto Ricans look like?" -- or for people who go on and on with the "Oooooh, your English is soooo good" and so on, "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" BTW, I don't go around announcing to everyone that I'm from PR (or hiding it either!), but at conferences, meetings and even in chitchat with strangers on vacation, the question of "where are you from" is almost inevitable, right?

Of course, if you've never been on this side of the fence, you'll think "chip on her shoulder." But if you have, you'll understand what I mean.

Oh, one last thing to the OP: Love Seinfeld. Not that there's anything wrong with that

 

[Poohbear123]

How was the rest of your trip? Oh, and when I wear my GOH badge at WDW about 4 people a day will ask: How long I have worked there, what Park, what ride, and why am I riding the POP bus to said park? Oh, and what are the benefits like! I tell them "Better than Publix."

 

[RickinNYC]

Because if you don't live it 24/7 you don't believe it, sweety. Imagine trying to raise a son to NOT let it bother him, a job I WISH I didn't have.

I can't claim to say that I know exactly how you feel. I have, as previously mentioned, seen the behavior you experienced first hand with my own mother. But personally, most folks think I look like the typical "white guy", i.e. 6'4" with green eyes and fair skin. When they find out that I'm half Japanese, I have gotten a LOT of, "wow, you look so white." That said, I can't claim to have ever experienced what you have directly.

I'm just sorry that this happened. Just chalk up the question that in her mind was innocent, as just another idiot one comes across in the walk of life.