Off Topic: Bad news

[cheeks605]

One of my very good friends (and bridesmaid) just experienced a broken engagement (her fiance's doing). He basically has no interest in her anymore and called the wedding off, took back the ring, and told her to leave the house.

I can't imagine how bad she is feeling right now and I wish I could do more for her. I'm worried about her feeling very sad at our wedding in 2 months. To be honest, I'm not even 100% sure she will be attending (it's not the thing you want to discuss right now).

Has anyone had experience with this or have ideas about how I can help her feel better? She's leaving tomorrow and moving across the country

 

[ItGirl753]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. No real advice here. I've been in plenty of weddings, and sometimes they were hard for me but I was there to support the bride. Hopefully she will be honest with you and say she can't do it, or she will be strong and stand beside you on your big day with a smile on her face.

First week of school is done! I hope you had a good week.

 

[TinkBride]

Oh my......that is so sad and terrible......I can't even imagine.

I have never experienced this, but, all you can do is be her friend right now, be by her side (if she wants anyone around), if she is close call her up and have a girls night so that she can have a shoulder to cry on. Let us know how things work out. Where they close to the wedding and far along planning?

How sad.......

 

[cheeks605]

Her wedding would have been in March. They were also having a destination wedding with a lot of people so there is an issue of money involved.

Thanks for the words of advice...I'll let you know how it goes.

Itgirl - school is going well, I have a class of angels...and now that I've said that they will become trouble makers!

 

[ItGirl753]

angels.... sorry had to do that

good luck with the bridesmaid! my sis called off her first weddding 30 days before....i have one broken engagement (mistake to start it), but I lived with a guy who I really thought was the one. when he left i was in a funk for about 3 years until just before i met dbf

 

[PirateKitty]

I went through something very similar when I was younger. I was engaged to be married, we were living in a beautiful high rise apartment, making future plans to have children and planning a wedding, and two months before our lease was up, he decided the life we had wasn't what he wanted. He informed me that he was moving out by the end of that week. I was absolutely devastated. Not only did he take the car, he took all of the money we had been saving while we were engaged. So there I was, left with a broken heart, no car, barely any money, and about to become homeless (as I couldn't afford to live on my own then).

Any breakup is heartbreaking, but when it gets to that point where you are making future plans, its even worse. The only thing your friend may need is time to heal. I was in 2 weddings the year this happened to me, and was a guest at 2 more. It was very hard, but I'm glad I went. And it took me years to get over that relationship. My friends (god love em) were my biggest support system. I couldn't have gotten through it if it weren't for them. Just be there for her and let her know that. It will help her so much just knowing that you care.

 

[TinkBride]

i know she may not want to hear this or understand it now......but better now than a divorce later......speaking from personal experience.....

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

oh how awful!! i would sit and talk to her and ask her what she thinks. if she thinks she'll be ok then let her be in it but if not i'm sure you understand and it would be alright. just sucks that she wouldn't be there, ya know??

that's just horrible, i can't believe that. see, when i got engaged i told DF that if we ever broke it off that i would be keeping the ring lol.

 

[Laurafoster]

How awful i cant even imagine how she is feeling!

Hopefully she'll still be there on your bi day, but it must be a hard situation for you both.

 

[Ember]

A very similar situation happened to my friend about two years ago. To be perfectly honest, even after two years I don't like bringing up my wedding... I know weddings make her sad. All you can do is be a good friend and be there for her if and when she needs you.

 

[Cinderella16]

I am sorry to hear about your friend. My brother went through a similar thing with his gf of 9 years...it is tough & the only thing to do is be there for her and let her know that. good luck.

 

[BrideToBe82]

OMG how awful...your friend must be devastated. All you can do is be there for her and try to be understanding...it sounds like you are already doing that.

 

[JandJ]

That is terrible, I'm sorry for your friend, and for your uncertainty with your wedding coming up. The same thing happened to my cousin. They had been living together for 2 years, had a big St. Thomas wedding all planned, and 2 months before the wedding he broke it off, took the ring back, and moved out of their apartment. She couldn't afford to live on her own and moved back in with her parents. That was just a few months after my wedding, a few months before another cousin's, and no one talks about it.

I wouldn't say it to her now, but as TinkBride said, better the heartbreak she's going through with a broken engagement than a divorce later.