OK...so technically this isn't an update about what's been going on since my last post but I just have to share this because it's so good! I get daily reads from Books-A-Million. This book was featured a couple of weeks ago and I finally had time to read all five days. I laughed! I cried! I've got to buy this book (and I'm not a teacher!) Anyway...just wanted to share this with ya'll because I know that my dear DIS teacher friends will appreciate the humor and sentiments. I'll post the next installment tomorrow. Enjoy!
NONFICTION BOOK PREVIEW CLUB
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This week's book:
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD-GRADE KIND
by Phillip Done
FROM THE BOOK JACKET:
"An award-winning veteran of the classroom for twenty-plus
years, Phillip Done chronicles a lively and unforgettable
year in third grade."
Phillip Done knows that children will always giggle more
when you tell them to stop, that broken candy canes do not
taste as good as unbroken ones, and that by spring there
will be more balls on the school roof than in the ball
box. From back-to-school shopping to the summer countdown,
Done offers parents, teachers, and anyone who works with
children--or remembers what it was like to be one--the
hilarity and wisdom that can come only from an elementary
school classroom.
In this collection of charming and touching tales, you'll
join twenty third-graders, class pets, and Mr. Done, as he
confiscates yardsticks that have magically turned into
swords, scoops goop out of pumpkins, holds on to newly
pulled baby teeth, follows mud tracks to students' desks,
and forgets to wear green on St. Patrick's Day.
With great warmth and wit, Done celebrates children and
that precious period in life when nothing is more
important than what you are going to wear for Halloween
and what animal you get in your box of animal crackers.
Sure to touch the heart, Done's priceless lessons in life
and learning remind us of playing Heads Up 7-Up during
rainy-day recess, decorating shoeboxes for valentine
mailboxes, and those special teachers in our lives who
made a difference.
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CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD-GRADE KIND
Thoughts on Teacherhood
by Phillip Done (nonfiction)
Published by Center Street,
a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
ISBN: 9781599951485
Text Copyright (c) 2009 by Phillip Done
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AUGUST
Now all I have to teach you is one word--everything.
"--The Miracle Worker"
TEACHERHOOD
On my desk at school there is a treasure chest. It is filled with
construction paper cards decorated with glitter glue, school photos
framed with Popsicle sticks, and pictures drawn with tropical marker
and colored pencil and love. If I'm in the drawings, I am usually as
tall as the schoolhouse in the background. My head is bigger than
the sun.
Next to parents, teachers are the most influential people in
children's lives. We love, care, guide, and nurture. We collect baby
teeth, check foreheads for fevers, and can punch the little silver
dots on top of juice boxes with one swift poke of the straw. We are
used to being called Mom and Dad. I wonder: Why don't we have a word
that captures the essence of being a teacher--a word that
encompasses the spirit of teaching? "Motherhood" and "fatherhood"
are words. "Parenthood" is a word. I think "teacherhood" should be a
word, too.
"Teacherhood" is knowing that softer voices are more effective than
louder ones, that students read better under their desks, that you
always hand out birthday treats at the end of the day, that kids
will not hear the difference between "than" and "then," that
children will always choose chocolate chip cookies before oatmeal
and raisin, and that if the office supply store is having a Back to
School sale on folders but will only let you purchase twenty folders
at a time--buy twenty, leave the store, return, grab another twenty,
and go to a new register.
"Teacherhood" is understanding that you should never try to teach
anything on Halloween, that when kids start learning cursive they
forget how to spell, that students who are usually quiet will become
chatty the week before Christmas break, that desks swallow papers,
that at any given moment a child could announce something random
like he's been to Denver and saw a banana slug, that the best
lessons on paper can tank in real life, that children who are about
to throw up get clingy, that reading nothing but comics is like
eating only pasta your whole life, and that for Show and Tell you do
not ask Sarah to bring in her cat and Trevor to share his dog on the
"same" day.
"Teacherhood" is knowing that when kids hold up their multiplication
flash cards to the light they can see the answers on the back, that
children will leave the "t" out of "watch" and the second "m" out of
"remember," that you always explain the instructions "before"
handing out the blocks (or beans or marshmallows), that cupcake
paper is edible, that the pile of red construction paper in the
supply room will be lowest in February, that when the air-
conditioner man comes into the classroom and starts removing the
ceiling tiles--stop teaching, and that when children see their
teacher burst out laughing or fight back tears while reading a
book--they witness two of reading's greatest rewards.
"Teacherhood" is prying staples out of the stapler with a pair of
scissors, following mud tracks to a student's desk, asking questions
about things when you already know the answers, laughing at knock-
knock jokes you've heard three hundred times, being able to make
thirty-seven different things out of a paper plate, locating the
exact book that a child is searching for when all she knows is that
it has a yellow cover, knowing that a storm is coming without
looking outside, pushing desks that have crept up throughout the day
back to their original places, finding yellow caps on blue markers,
and counting to five while each child takes a drink at the drinking
fountain so that no kid hogs all the water.
"Teacherhood" is correcting papers while watching "Letterman,"
calculating how many workdays are left till the middle of June,
singing the "ABC Song" out loud when looking up a word in the
dictionary, taking the 7:00 AM dentist appointment, asking the woman
at the dry cleaners if she can get out glue stick, unrolling a
brand-new package of paper towels because you need one more tube for
an art project, taking your students out for free play and calling
it PE, knowing that no matter how much food you have at the
Thanksgiving feast--kids will just grab the popcorn, and calling
your student three different names before finally getting it right.
"Teacherhood" is standing in the center of the dodgeball circle
while twenty children try to get you out, counting kids' heads on a
field trip, confiscating yardsticks that have magically turned into
swords, snitching candy from your own goody jar, collecting
abandoned bird nests, scooping goop out of pumpkins, understanding
that cursive "m" is easier to write than cursive "k," having ninety-
seven items in your emergency preparedness backpack but not being
able to find the Band-Aids, knowing all about Cabbage Patch Kids,
Beanie Babies, Pokemon, Smurfs, Elmo, Tamagotchis, Webkinz, and
Bakugan before they became hot, and sitting in the "barber's chair"
on Colonial Day while getting a shave with a Popsicle stick and Cool
Whip.
"Teacherhood" is writing "Do Not Touch!" on the tape dispenser then
hunting for it the very next day, sweating over not being able to
get the DVD player to work while twenty kids offer to "help,"
waiting out in front of Target the morning after Thanksgiving to
save fifty cents on ribbon, making rain parkas out of Hefty bags
when it starts pouring on the field trip, expecting more chase games
on the blacktop in spring than in fall, explaining that a rock is a
very important role in the school play, yanking so hard on the wall
map that it shoots up and jumps off the metal hooks, having
butterflies the night before school starts, and understanding that a
child may forget what you taught her--but will always remember how
you made her feel.
(continued on Tuesday)
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