No sympathy...please!!! (kinda long)

[Chrissi Pooh]

I don't want this thread to turn into a bunch of sympathy, I just need to hear of some resources and stories where it all worked out in the end!!

First off my divorce was final back in June and since then my ex-H has been freaking out doing crazy things like trying to jump out of moving cars and just lashing out for no reason until Friday night.
He came to me and said he had an addiction to crack and crystal meth and wanted help so I took him to the ER at a local hosp. and they hooked him up with a facility that he's been at now since Saturday, he says he knows he has to get better and it will be a long road ahead.
My question to all of you is has anyone been in this situation or similar who can give me some insight as to how people act, what side affects and is there hope??
I have never done any kind of drugs that were not prescribed to me and I have no clue what is going on in his head. I have people around me that think I am crazy for helping him but although I don't love him I do care about what happens to another human being!!!
Help me understand, please!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

HE has to decide to QUIT all forms of addiction as his first step and you cannot help him do that!!!
Your friends are trying to help you see that.

Do yourself and your kids a favor and tell your X to call you when he has been sober for 6 months. Never let him alone with your kids under any circumstances. (This would be my recommendation for helping him, btw...stay away from him)

You want to know what addicts are like?
Assume everything he is telling you is a flat out lie, if he uses words like "he knows he needs to get better" (yea right) That was said to you because he knows what you want to hear.
The real him will be the "angry crazy man" you've known for awhile. A man that has a brain SCREAMING for drugs. He will be very agitated, distracted and very into himself as he becomes sober. He will probably falter many times before he quits. Are you prepared for THAT mess? Here is the scene...1)you help him, he goes back to drugs, you get mad cut him off. 2) Repeat step one.

I know you will do what you need too but you asked for advice and this is the reality in store for you.
Good Luck

 

[ChiTownZee]

I don't have to much experience with this, my experiences were brief. But maybe you could call the hospital and get referrals for some support groups? Like the one for families of alcoholics? {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

 

[snoopy]

My deceased SIL was a crack addict turned heroin addict. I'm sorry to say these are two of the hardest drugs to kick, even in a person with a lot of willpower.

We went the rehab route with her many times, until we finally had enough. The Mystery Machine gives you good advice, I couldn't say it any better than that, so I'll just ditto.

I do hope for your daughter's sake that he gets sober and stays sober, but remember there is NOTHING you can do to change him. Only he can do that, and he has a long road ahead of him.

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Thanks for the honesty guys!!!!

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Snoopy I am really sorry about your sister.

My ex is into the same stuff as she was and I hate to see someone do these things to themselves, I keep telling him it just stupid and pointless but he is still high so it doesn't matter.

 

[Disney Doll]

Ditto what TheMysteryMachine said. It's along difficult road. Do not enable him in any way. Do not allow him to manipulate your sympathies. Yes, he is another human being. Yes, you want to help him. He must help himself, and he must be made to see the damage that his drug abuse has done to ALL of the relationships in his life.

Drug addicts are some of the most truly manipulative people in the world. Be very, very aware of that fact.

 

[Dan Murphy]

No ideas, Chrissi, but my best wishes and prayers are with you and Julie, along with your ex, that he gets on the road to recovery and stays straight, before he kills himself. {{Hugs}}

 

[crazyme5kids]

I posted a while ago about a friend with a substance abuse problem (drinking and crack). I haven't spoken to her in I guess abot 1 moonth, and I must say I don't even feel like I miss her. It was emotionally draining. I would spend so much time listening to her sob stories and lies, I found I was pushing everything else aside to be there for her, but she wasn't serious about getting help. It is true, drug addicts are very adept at saying and making you believe they are sincere, don't fall for it. Don't fall for his lies and pity party. Good luck.