No Santa!!!!!

[irishsharon]

Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him

 

[hmdavid]

I am in the same boat. I have twins who are 10 and an 8 year old who all still believe. I don't want my fifth graders to be made fun of but I also don't want to tell them when they still believe. What to do?!!

 

[HM]

Never once in my life did I tell my kids that Santa wasn't real. My parents also never did that. I think at a certain age you get wise enough to start wondering about it. Then you either start asking around or you don't and just come up with your own conclusions. Mine didn't ask, so I found no reason to bring it up. (They are 17 and 19 now).

I personally found out at age 10 when I saw my parents putting together a gift on Christmas eve for my little brother that said "From Santa" on Christmas morning. Of course, I didn't say anything. No one want to ruin Christmas for the little kids. I have no idea how my kids found out.

Good luck deciding what to do.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I never told mine, they just figured it out on their own. It was like around me they would act like they believed which is fun for them, but around their friends they didn't. My teenagers still go out on Christmas Eve to put reindeer food on the grass. It's just fun to pretend. They get a pass to behave that way because they have an 8yo brother who still believes.

Last year my 8yo's friend's grandmother that she lived with told him that Santa isn't real, I was so angry. Apparently they choose not to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or anything like that so they felt it was in his best interest to share their beliefs with him. I told him that Santa just doesn't come to their house because they don't believe in him, but my Aunt said I should've told him that their grandmother was mean and naughty so Santa didn't bring her gifts .

 

[BelleBeautyandtheBeast]

It really depends on your kid.

Although my kids have been pestering me for YEARS to just admit there is no Santa I have always stuck to my story. The past few years they have been trying to trick me into admitting I bought the gifts. I just kept telling them that it wasn't me.

A few months ago I finally told them the truth, at 14, 12 and 10. They were not surprised. I think they liked holding on to that magical thought of some old guy dropping off gifts that mom would never buy them. But maybe that was me lol.

The reason I gave in and told them is because I moved to third shift and am scheduled to work overnight Christmas Eve, there is no way Santa can deliver this year. They are not too happy that they have to wait until later than usual for gifts but they are happy they can sleep in lol.

As for how to tell, I just brought up that I will be working Christmas morning and they started talking about gifts and I told them I was really the one who put the gifts out. They did a good 5 minutes of I told you so.

 

[melancholywings]

DD knew at 4th grade that it wasn't real. She asked me seriously and I told her. For our relationship at that age it was very important for her to know that she could ask us anything and we would tell her the truth. She's an only and I think it's harder when you have littler kids in the picture.
She didn't cry about it - instead I did because it's closing a chapter on her childhood and it made me so sad that she wasn't young enough to believe. The nice thing about when they know is that you get the credit for it.

 

[goofyredraider]

I'm sure my 5th grade DD (almost 11) knows, but wouldn't dare admit it for fear of not getting anything from Santa or ruining it for her brothers. My almost 10 year old believes wholeheartedly, and I think he will for a very long time (he is totally into the "magic").

My mom never said he wasn't real....I got Santa gifts up until she passed away (I was 23). I imagine that's how we will do it in our house, too.

 

[bedogged]

Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him

If you really feel the need to, there is always the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" letter. It is very moving.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

No, I will not tell my children. At some point, they will figure it out just like I did when I was younger. But we'll continue the joy of Santa and the spirit of giving and I will not speak it out loud - ever. I enjoy the magic - so do the kids!

 

[laurafergie]

I never told my kids. They eventually figured it out, I guess. No one ever said anything, though my youngest DD still believes. However, I am THAT Mom that still puts out stockings and Santa stuff, even for my parents! I have a plaque in my hallway that is up all year; "This Family Believes".

Do what you think is best for your child.

 

[MomToOne]

I had "the talk" with DD when she was 10, after she was clearly questioning things.

I explained to her that St. Nicholas was actually a man that once lived who started a tradition of giving anonymous gifts. And since his death, adults have carried on that tradition with their children at Christmas-time, to honor him and to spread the magic of Christmas.

I also told her that since she now knew the secret, part of her responsibility was to help carry on the tradition and to help bring the magic of Christmas to life for younger children. She's taken that very much to heart, making sure she doesn't say anything in a store around children that might give it away, etc.

It all went well, she liked the idea of being part of the big secret and being given a role to play in it And instead of talking about Santa at Christmas, we've just replaced it with saying "Santa Mom" LOL

 

[LJSquishy]

Aww, don't spoil the magic for your kid! By that age I knew deep down Santa wasn't real but he still delivered gifts to us and we loved the magic of it all. He probably is doubting in his mind but loves the surprise of seeing the gifts from Santa. Just let him believe if he wants to. I highly doubt he would actually get made fun of for believing...the kids would just tell him Santa isn't real and leave it at that.

Even into our high school years we still got gifts from Santa and we loved it! My sister and I "thought" we knew Santa wasn't real when we were 6 and 7 because we found a Santa suit under my parents' bed! But...even with that, we still tried to believe. Then, by the following year we noticed that Santa's handwriting on the gift tags looked awfully similar to my mom's handwriting! LOL!

Tip: Either print out gift tags from Santa, or make your handwriting look different! Haha!

 

[mm1971]

Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him

Having the experience recently, I thought I would chime in. Last year my son, who was 11 and 6th grade at the time starting asking the question. I mean daily! At some point, I told him we would discuss it later in private. Upon discussing, all his friends were already non-believers. He also had a child in class that did not celebrate ANY holidays so the school downplayed it. I discussed it with him and told him there was no Santa and that mom and dad were the one providing gifts. In the discussion, we discussed the meaning of the holiday and that it is all real...good will towards others, helping those in need. Even though I told him, I wasn't sure he believed me that he wasn't real, but we all still go along for my daughters sake.

My suggestion would be not to tell him unless he asks. If he does, find out why. If you feel the reason he is asking is valid, go ahead and tell him. I do not lie to my children. I avoid certian topics, so when it came down to him REALLY persistent about it, I told him.

 

[foltzy]

My 2 just told me a few days ago that they think I'm Santa. I did not say yes or no but they pretty much have it figured it. My kids are 5 and 7. I was really sad. My 5 year old hasn't believed since he was about 3 and my 7 was probably around the same age. Not sure what lead to them not believing but it is what it is.

Let them believe for a little longer if you can.

 

[irishsharon]

Thanks everyone for sharing I found out there was no santa when I was 7 and caught my mom putting the gifts under the tree.I think I will leave things the way they are. Looking at the twinkling lights on the tree being at church on christmas eve and snow falling outside makes me believe in the magic of Christmas

 

[robsmom]

When DS was in 4th or 5th grade, he asked me one morning "Do you bring the Christmas presents?" I knew that he knew the truth, so I asked him what he thought and confirmed the truth. He then proceeded to cry. When he calmed down a bit, he said, "what about the Easter Bunny". Not wanting him to be anymore upset I said "of course". Off he went to school. When he returned he said. "Mom, I have been thinking about it and how could the Easter Bunny be real". I told him the truth and he took it well. A few hours later, my dh gets home and DS tells him. "Guess what Dad, I know the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny". My dh says "the one i really can't believe you didn't figure out what the tooth fairy". My son puts his head in his hands and says "not the tooth fairy too"! All the childhood fantasies gone in one day!

 

[Gorechick]

I figured it out around age 7 or 8 when I found the special Santa wrapping paper in my mom's closet. My kids still believe but I have made up many a story to cover my tracks. They've seen me buy the Santa paper and I just tell them Santa drops off the presents and sometimes he needs mom's and dad's to help out with the wrapping.

 

[mommy2twingles]

I am in the same boat. I have twins who are 10 and an 8 year old who all still believe. I don't want my fifth graders to be made fun of but I also don't want to tell them when they still believe. What to do?!!

I could have written your post exactly. My kids are the same ages and I am struggling with what to do with the older two this year

 

[niffer5150]

it's not all bad sometimes when they find out. my kiddo found all the teeth the tooth fairy took in a box. she figured it all out. while she was bummed about santa not being real, after asking questions, she realized how much work goes into making christmas special. she ended up being really touched and appreciative for the extreme lengths i went to at times to keep it magical. now at 12 she still leaves carrots out "for the reindeer" and cookies for "santa", even tho she's an only child and doesn't really need to fake it for others. she just likes to believe that "santa" is more of an idea and a feeling than a fat man in a suit. sometimes she'll make me something and wrap it with a from santa tag. plus, when it's time to put presents under the tree now and i tell her to go to bed, she actually does and STAYS there. lol and no more waking up at the crack of dawn for presents! she's content to just wait till i wake up because she knows i was probably up late doing all the christmas things.

 

[msmama]

What do you mean there's no Santa?!?!

Seriously, I am 35 years old, have my own kid, my mother comes to MY house that I OWN on Xmas and I still get presents from Santa and my mother STILL insists that she saw Santa when she was a kid.

You never have to tell your kids and they will grow up just fine, lol. I think at some point the self preservation instinct kicks in and even if they do still believe they know enough not to say so in front of their friends.