No Santa!!!!!

[angel's momma]

Last year my 8yo's friend's grandmother that she lived with told him that Santa isn't real, I was so angry. Apparently they choose not to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or anything like that so they felt it was in his best interest to share their beliefs with him.

This upsets me, as well as the post where the MIL told her grandchild.

Interesting thread. I am really, really, REALLY going to be the oddball here!!

We have never done the "Santa Claus" thing in our house. We always celebrated the holidays for the religous focus.....the birth of Jesus. (My husband's family was the same growing up, while my family "believed" in Santa).

We never found the holidays to be any less magical as a result. We still did the Christmas pics on Santa's knee, watched all the holiday cartoons

And the boy knew from the outset that other people chose to have their kids believe in the big guy in the red suit, and that was totally okay (and it was not okay to be the one to ruin their traditions or inform other kids of "the truth").

OP, Christmas can still be full of wonder and excitement, even without the belief of Santa still in tact. It will just be time for new traditions and new ways of finding "magic" in such an amazing season of the year.

You're not the only oddball. We too chose not to do Santa, etc., but we do still very much enjoy the holiday cartoons, our community's Breakfast with Santa, etc. We took great care to make sure DD knew that we were the oddballs, and to never ruin it for everyone else.

Knowing has not diminished her excitement for the holidays, nor dampened her enthusiasm for seeing the characters at wdw. She's now a teen, but doesn't feel that she's "too old" for things, like many of her peers do.

When my niece figured out her mom was the tooth fairy, she thought her mom was THE tooth fairy, and my SIL didn't realize it for months.

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

Knowing has not diminished her excitement for the holidays, nor dampened her enthusiasm for seeing the characters at wdw. She's now a teen, but doesn't feel that she's "too old" for things, like many of her peers do.

My son is the same way. For our Christmas trip, we have Dine with Shamu and Santa's Fireside Feast booked at SeaWorld, as well as the character breakfast at Ohana and dinner at T-Rex. We'll have a family photo done with Santa (and Santa Goofy, too, if we time it right) at Downtown Disney, and he's more than happy to play along in the spirit of family fun.

His 16 year old peers? Not a chance!!!

 

[eliza61]

Has anyone ever told their child there is no santa If so how did you do it? My ds is 10 and in 5th grade, I know kids told him last year there is no santa.When he asked me about it(his little brother was in the room at the time)I told him that santa was magic and when you believe, santa brings the presents and when you don't believe your parents give you gifts.He said he still believes. I guess I'll see what he says once all the kids start talking about santa again.I just don't want him to be made fun off, so is it kinder if I tell him

My kids asked me. I think it was a few years before they were 10, maybe around 7. once they asked me, I told them the truth.

I agree with previous posters, knowing there was no Christmas in no way diminished the "magic" of Christmas. It is still a time of goodwill and peace and that's what we keep the focus on.

 

[danygirl]

I always told my kids that I believe in SANTA because my parents couldn't afford the awesome gifts he brought, and I sure couldn't either. When the magic is gone it is so much less fun for parents. They got the hint. Even now, we joke that my husband still believes in Santa because he sure never bought those gifts and he is always excited to see what everyone gets - it is usually the first time he sees it.

 

[irishsharon]

Please tell me what the elf on the shelf is

 

[westjones]

I haven't read all the responses, but I never told my girls that Santa was real. We treated Santa and the Easter Bunny in the same way as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Characters that we enjoy and like the stories surrounding them, but deep down we always know they are not real.

I did this because to this day I remember when my friend told me that Santa was not real and I went to my mom and told her how proud I was of myself standing up to my friend telling her that MY MOM would NEVER lie to me and if she said he is real he is!!! Then my mom was like.....well I think you are old enough to know.

I still remember the feeling of being betrayed by mom, and I didn't want to do that to my girls. I mean, I realize she just bought into the whole culture of telling kids this, but I didn't want my girls to ever have to experience that feeling of having DH and I lie to them.

So anyway, that is how we handled it. Santa and Easter Bunny are just like Mickey and Minnie and any other character that is fun to enjoy and tell stories about.

 

[AB6876]

I haven't read all the responses, but I never told my girls that Santa was real. We treated Santa and the Easter Bunny in the same way as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Characters that we enjoy and like the stories surrounding them, but deep down we always know they are not real.

I did this because to this day I remember when my friend told me that Santa was not real and I went to my mom and told her how proud I was of myself standing up to my friend telling her that MY MOM would NEVER lie to me and if she said he is real he is!!! Then my mom was like.....well I think you are old enough to know.

I still remember the feeling of being betrayed by mom, and I didn't want to do that to my girls. I mean, I realize she just bought into the whole culture of telling kids this, but I didn't want my girls to ever have to experience that feeling of having DH and I lie to them.

So anyway, that is how we handled it. Santa and Easter Bunny are just like Mickey and Minnie and any other character that is fun to enjoy and tell stories about.

Some people might think this is harsh but I actually agree with you... It does not sound like you did it like the mother on miracle on 34th street did.
Personally, I figured out the Santa thing at 4.5 and I was an evil big sister and told my brother, proved it buy showing him the presents.
My son is 8 and asked me about Santa at about 4 I told him he is magical.. That's all. No details etc.. Anyway he knows there is not a Santa, however he still "acts" like there is Santa at christmas.. He loves the computer program that tracks him etc. however it is more of a nostalgic kind of way which I think is awesome.. He LOVES the magic of Christmas, and enjoys giving as much a receiving. I think it is much easier then keeping the story part act up. He mentions the Santa story around thanksgiving. Tells me which of his friends still believe or which don't. I guess what I am saying is that this way worked for me. He never wants to ruin it for everyone, won't be "mad" at me for lying and does not pester me either...

 

[QueenElinor]

Saint Nicholas was a real person, so we just always referred to Santa that way. Being Catholic, that just seemed like the best way to handle it. Because of this, if their friends believed in Santa Claus, they wouldn't insist he wasn't real. We never went out of our way to deny or play up the concept of Santa Claus, and it just never was an issue. We have so many Christmas traditions at our house, it's not like they've lacked for excitement or entertainment around the holidays.

 

[esk]

DS figured it out based on the Tooth Fairy. At 10 (almost 11) he lost a tooth and said "now Mom, the kids in my class say the Tooth Fairy isn't real...is she?" and I said no. Then he thought a minute and said "What about Santa" and I said, no, you're old enough to know. He was very surprised, but OK with it.

About an hour later, he comes back in and wanted to know the details....so we buy and hide the presents but don't wrap them (that's the difference between Santa's gifts and our gifts, ours are wrapped), and we stay up late and put them out, etc. Then he said "but the reindeer always eat the oatmeal, and Santa always eats the cookies....." you could literally see the light go on in his head. "What???? You and Dad eat the cookies??????" When I told him we just pour the oatmeal back into the container, he was horrified. "Oh that is so gross!" He brought it up again a few more times after that.

This is what stuck with him. Not the Santa thing, but the fact that we recycled the oatmeal for the reindeer and ate the cookies.

He has been great, though, about not telling his little sister about either Santa or the Tooth Fairy. He even reminds me now, when he loses a tooth, that I can just give it to him, I don't need to sneak into his room. He was the same way when he figured out the characters at WDW weren't real....he still acted like they did when his sister was around.

 

[Ccann]

My mother never told us, always said if you believe then Santa will leave you something Christmas morning do we always played along. Still do and now Santa leaves me socks and kitchen items always at my mothers house. Leaves my DH a new wallet too!

Still inside me I believe my 2nd Christmas as a parent we were gone out of town 4 hours away driving to head back home at 4, when we got home all the gifts from Santa was set out.. It was magic and me calling my mom to come over and do it..

My neighbor has told her son5 that there is no Santa or Easter Bunny so my DD6 tells me that he says there isn't a Santa Clause. I have told her Santa and the Easter bunny will only come if your parents believe too. We are safe for awhile...

We don't use this day just for gifts though my children know that this is Jesus Birthday we are Christians and we celebrate him but Santa is fun and magical, adds to anything is possible to those who believe... Sort of... I enjoy watching their faces in the morning.... Digging in their stockings...

They can find out from their schoolmate I will hold out until they have kids of there own.

 

[bellaally]

There's no Santa...........

 

[SDFgirl]

My parents never told me. I don't remember how or when, but it slowly dawned on me eventually. I never really said anything to my parents and my brother and l had Santa gifts and stockings into our early 20's. Except when we were teenagers, my mom would tell us to hurry up and go to bed so "Santa" could get our presents out and go to sleep. It's all part of the fun!

At 5 and 3, my kids are still firmly in the "believe" camp. I love it.

 

[princesspwrhr]

I haven't read all the responses, but I never told my girls that Santa was real. We treated Santa and the Easter Bunny in the same way as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Characters that we enjoy and like the stories surrounding them, but deep down we always know they are not real.

I was going to post almost the exact same thing. I never told my girls he was real, I never told them the Easter Bunny was real, or that any of the characters were real. I never outright said that they weren't real, but we always referred to them as "fun traditions" and the girls have always known and been reminded that friends may have different traditions. They know the real story of St. Nicholas, they know that Christians celebrate it as Jesus' birthday, they know ways Christmas and other winter holidays are celebrated around the world. It's never been less fun or magical at our house and the girls each do get something from "Santa". They still love to set out milk and cookies, well cocoa and cookies for "santa", they make sure it's daddy's favorite, last year they even decided to write a letter to Santa, they like to see what books Santa brought, They beg daily to watch the Christmas movies that come out of storage, my younger girls birthdays bookend the month of December and they like the additional decorations, they like to play "Santa" with a giving tree and Toys for Tots and they love the magic of the season.

I'm glad I did it the way I did because both sets of my inlaws insist on giving gifts "from Santa" at their house, and I never have to have the uncomfortable conversations with my girls or my inlaws about why Santa comes to 3 houses for them, or how come he gets dollar store toys at that house, things with toys r us tags at that house and nicer things here. I never thought about it before, but I won't ever have to worry about my girls thinking I lied to them.

My oldest is 14. When she was 3 we were at Magic Kingdom and she walked away from a meet and greet with Mickey and announced -"That's not the real Mickey, that's a gut dressed up in a suit." She had come to this conclusion because she could see the mesh screen in the mouth and because "there's no way Mickey can be at all the parks every day". She decided that for the rest of our trip there was one real Mickey and lots of fakes to make kids happy since the real one can't be in two places at a time. On the way home she announces "Just kidding. I know all of the Mickey Mouses are fake and he's just from that guy Disney's imagination to make kids feel happy. I like his imagination and I like to meet the guys pretending to be Mickey. That's nice of them." The same year she told my mother in law "Gammy, you can stop writing Santa on the presents, I'm big enough." My mother in law and sister in law were horrified because my then 12, 10, 2 yo nieces & nephews still believed or fake believed. I won't go into how they handled it, but it was not appropriate.

My younger girls are almost 8 & 9. They have been telling me since they were 3 & 4 that I am Santa. I love being able to enjoy the holiday, not worry about what they may hear from where and not having to make up excuses.

 

[westjones]

My younger girls are almost 8 & 9. They have been telling me since they were 3 & 4 that I am Santa. I love being able to enjoy the holiday, not worry about what they may hear from where and not having to make up excuses.

I loved this part too! Not having to keep coming up with different things to tell them and just sticking to the truth.

But my girls enjoyed breakfast with Santa and visiting with Santa (one year at the Boardwalk at Disney World...that was the best!).

And we also told them the story of St. Nicholas and how the tradition of Santa started. But we watched all the wonderful Santa Clause movies and the 25 Days of Christmas on the Family Channel, and basically enjoyed the holidays just as much as everyone else...in the same way that we loved seeing the WDW Characters and how we would get excited to see Mickey or Cinderella.

 

[babym66]

Found this on pinterest, a mom had posted it...


What do you do when your kid asks for the truth? You tell it, of course, doing your best to figure out a way that keeps at least some of the magic intact.



Dear Lucy,

Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”;

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.

Mama

 

[shortbun]

I think your son already knows and chooses to hold on to the magic. Don't worry.

 

[scootch]

My daughter was 10 at the time and kept asking "what's the real deal with santa"..... she kept this up and I was worried about her little sister would find out... she would even pass me notes with "what the real deal about santa"... so I finally told her. She looked at me and said, "hmm. if there is no santa... then you and daddy bought the laptop for christmas(it was a family gift)??? and I said, yea... she threw her arms around me and said, "I LOVE YA!!" It was quite a precious moment. Then she asked, "well if there is not santa, is there an easter bunny... and I said, "well you will have to figure that one out yourself "....

My youngest is now 10(but is only in 4th grade)... she still believes so we will see for how long.

 

[Aulika]

Found this on pinterest, a mom had posted it...


What do you do when your kid asks for the truth? You tell it, of course, doing your best to figure out a way that keeps at least some of the magic intact.



Dear Lucy,

Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”;

I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I love you and I always will.

Mama

Thank you for posting this !

 

[diamondpixienc]

Mine still believe and to cover why mom and dad have to watch our spending so that we can send Santa the down payment:

1. The economy has not only raised gas prices but the rein deer food too.
2. Santa had to cut back on puppies because he had to send the elves to college to learn how to make ipods and video games. So parents have to supply any pet requests.
3. The ones in the mall are his agents but you never know who is the real one.
4.The elf o the shelf is santa's special agent assigned to our house.
5.Santa use the same paper for everyone just look for the one's with your name. (always wrap then ship to paw paw's house a week before)
6.Santa will leave the batteries near the boxes.
7. The toys on the shelf at the store are prototypes or samples the originals are made at the work shop.The ones in the store after christmas are the extras Santa made just in case.
8. If you dont believe than he wont come any more. The same apply to the Easter bunny and tooth fairy.

My kiddos are now 9,7,&3. All of the above are working for us. But my DS(9) and his questions over the past 3 years have caused DH & I to get more creative as you can see. I mean I still have my DD's 7 & 3 who believe with every fiber of their being that Santa and Tinkerbell are very much real.

 

[irishsharon]

I think your son already knows and chooses to hold on to the magic. Don't worry.

Thanks