No Christmas

[Moeluv4u7]

I had to post to this- As I too, Looooove Christmas- but not for the gifts received rather than the ones we give- to each other and our 5 children but also any we give to others- family, friends and otherwise... That being said, I don'- t feel "obligated" to give gifts to anyone! I love to see my kids faces when they open a particular item- It is "magic"! & my kids now range from 17 to 7 - We get for my mom usually and my youngest brother (who lives with her and working very hard to start his career as he has just graduated from engineering school, btw, he is 13 yrs younger than I am) If we don't buy for certain family members it is usually because we will not see them and don't usually KIT throughout the year- Others whom we do KIT with, it is just, they are having Christmas at their house and we, at ours- or at mom's, etc- If my other brother comes in w/ his girlfriend I may or may not have picked up something for them (usually a home type item) Our Christmas is always really nice but I know my mom even has had her financial bouts since her & my Dad split about 5 years ago (and Yes, he still shows up for Christmas at her house 400 miles away from his ) But, she doesn't ever tell him he isn't welcome and she also always gets him a few gifts... We have told my mom not to get us gifts as well as our kids (she will always get the kids and us gifts) We got gifts for my sis and bil one year and I will never again! My sis is "different" in that if it isn't name brand and $100- it is "less than" and she could care less- so be it... My lil' sis, all grown up, and snooty as heXX- No worries,- It doesn't phase us a bit! Oh! & she doesn't give gifts to "our" side either- just to mom and that's it- (not even our little brothers) she does give gifts to all of her in-laws though...So, we are cool w/ that- we also hardly ever spend Christmas with her & her fam & I usually will not make a point of seeing mom when I know my sis will be there- I send whatever it is for my mom & brother and we get together before or after Christmas if we can get together at all-
All in all if you feel obligated to give or are concerned w/ not giving... too much to stress about IMO but if so... do jar mix gifts that you make up yourself, attach a ribbon and print off a computer made label w/ Christmassy motif, have calendars made up for everyone w/ pics of family members such as grandparents, grandkids, etc- depending on who recipient is or the same for everyone- Those can be done by yourselves as well by computer, you don't have to go to photo store and spend $30- each on them-
The family recipe book is another one that is great! Dishes that you always had as a kid that grandma made or mom... your own that your kids nowlove, etc- If someone is not appreciative to the love, thought and time that goes into those type of gifts- Don't do anything and why do you feel th eneed to "announce" that you won't be doing gift exchange?- Just don't! & if you want to relieve them of "obligation" of buying for you as well then just let them know- This year we will be doing something different for Christmas, please don't get us anything- If they ask what you are doing instead or why? (which you do not have to respond to- but if you do, tell them you are celebrating Christmas old fashioned style- If you are not religious and don't celebrate Him during the season (no judgements from me on that here, this is strictly speaking budget minded) Let them know...
**You are going to enjoy each other this Christmas since throughout the year it seems w/ day to day lifestyles and goings ons that you take each other for granted
** You are having a great time coming up with homemade ideas to decorate and bake, make, just like when your grandmother was young
**You would like to start your own family traditions w/ your own kids (or if a childless couple, yourselves) rather than carry your DH's family tradition and your family tradition from when you were young into your traditions now- You want your kids to carry different values than what has been taught to them throughout the last few years
**You will be giving gifts that are homemade goods
** Or suggest a home made Christmas from everyone- If they want to do store bought gifts themselves that's fine but you won't be going that route this year
-many more ideas, and for crafted items- check out the ever so many free craft boards around the internet as well as this one- many great ideas and so many free directions to make- T-shirts w/ kids pics on them, photo album scrapped up yourself, recipe books w/ family tradition recipes, old jeans outgrown turned into a tote bag, a quilt made from all of your kids old T-shirts or JEANS-, pillows from jeans w/ the pocket side still on it- (some of these will still need various items bought to fully complete (pillow forms, thread, craft/fabric glue, scrap items that can't be obtained from free stuff on internet, But they are all so fun to do and so inexpensive w/ so much thought and love- BUT, my biggest thing, I will not spend time, money and energy on something that will not be appreciated! I have never been materialistic and if my family members are... they just miss out! My DH's fam is oh so a whole long different story- but same end result- We don't feel obligated- I do what I do out of my own feelings and if we don't exchange gifts- so be it- I don't feel the need to explain anything-
Done w/ my rant- LOL
Hope everyone has a beautiful Christmas season & attains the goal you have attempted to acheive- Ours this year is savings for our Disney trip next year- Gifts for our kids will be one very nice item they have asked for and possibly a few "filler" gifts since we do have the younger ones- BUT- filler gifts will be items to take w/ us to Disney along with things that they need or have asked for that are everyday use items- like a new carry all for my DD- she can use for whatever but great for carrying pool items and park items- My oldest son will need another thumb drive and will get a prepaid gift card to get itunes music for his ipod, guiter strings, music, maybe a game caddy for his game system and such to be put on so it is neater in his room, my 2nd oldest - game caddy as well for his room, cologne gift set, some "gear" as he calls it- LOL (new clothes) Our younger ones will get a new bank (looking to get the huge bubble gum one or the traffic light that the lights actually work on, a couple toys/games and that's it all of them w/ their large item will also get a gift card to use at Disney along w/ any money they have saved theirselves- I am still contemplating the smaller, less expensive type gifts but all in all it won't be another $5K Christmas! Yeah w/ 5 kids and all the age ranges it starts to add up pretty darn quick! Also, throughout the year this past I have not been buying "things" as we go places- They have to add it to their items wanted for Christmas- so this has helped to break down spending and actually looking forward to Christmas- Plus 2 of mine have B-days right before Christmas- one in October and the other in November- That will be one gift and having their friends over or a get together away from home w/ friends (skate rink, bowling, movies, whatever)
Wow, this was intended to just give some ideas and suggestions- Very long post - apologies for the novella!-

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

It's definitely not all I can say but good luck and best wishes on your situation. My one sister and I tried to suggest that last year and our older sister went off on such a tantrum about it (and we heard about it for months) that we caved and bought gifts for everyone instead of just the kids. This year DH and I are in a situation where there is a strict budget for Christmas gifts so all of the adults will be getting less than usual from us. I'm thinking and hoping that I can gradually phase out getting anything for the adults at all (except my mom) and just focus on the kids. Believe me I love Christmas and it is by far my favorite time and holiday of the year but there just isn't a whole lot my family "needs" other than time with all of our family. I'd love to tell my sisters not to spend any money on gifts and just plan a trip to see us (we're in Michigan they're in New England) but as demonstrated last year that isn't going to happen. For me the bottom line is Christmas should be about family not the presents and when we decide to stop giving to the adults I'm sticking with my decision no matter how much my sister protests.

Again good luck!

 

[mookie]

Haven't looked at the thread, but just wanted to let OP know that I have been through this....as well as many others.

Here's a thread that might help! Good luck!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1647278

 

[Misty89]

plan your WDW trip at Christmas and then you would not have to worry about it

 

[budbeerlady]

plan your WDW trip at Christmas and then you would not have to worry about it

So true! We have considered checking our little family into a hotel for the Christmas holiday to avoid the run around and gift fiasco! I love Christmas but its gotten so out of hand.... I want to spend it just hanging out with family and friends.

I will admit to taking DD to Disney for her Birthday last year to get out of having to do the whole family party thing. Now I figure we didn't do it last year, I don't have to do it this year either. She just wants to play at a bounce house with her friends anyway!

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I haven't read every response so I apologize if this was already suggested. What we do each year with my in-laws is buy gifts for all the children. There are 6. Then for the adults we play a game. It goes something like this:

Each adult brings 1 generic present worth $10 to $20. It can be anything. Last year I brought scratch off lottery tickets, and DH brought a box of candy. Then we put all the wrapped presents in a pile. We take a deck of cards and pull out ace through 10 (there are 10 of us) in one suit. They are shuffled and we each pick a number. Then we pull out ace through 10 in another suit. These are shuffled and the dealer picks cards from the top. When he picks your number you pick a gift from the pile. Once everyone has a gift, we open. Then we do a second round. When your number is called you have the option of trading your gift with anyone else or keeping your gift. We do three rounds and when the third round is over you keep the gift you have.

It is a really fun game and we usually end up Some of the gifts are gag gifts, some are really nice. Its just about having fun together. We used to buy for all the adults and with 10 adults and 6 kids it was getting expensive.

I hope I explained it okay. Its really easy and fun once you get the hang of it. I've heard people play a version with dice too, but we use cards.

 

[S'sMom]

Hi,
I say just explain the issues with your upcoming trip, and I am sure they will understand (hopefully)

Personally, we only buy gifts for my immediate family (CHILDREN only about 5 in all - ages ranging from 14 down to 1). So that makes it cheaper and easier. Its all about the kids because, as you know, you give so much and get little in return sometimes.

I am sure you will make the right decision.

 

[disneynuts777]

wow...what a timely thread!!
I was just thinking the same thing last night. My family is huge...and scattered all over the country. I've always loved Christmas and when I worked I sent out things to everyone. Now...many many years later....we are now retired and barely making it end to end. Every year I try to cut down a little more...but even that's making me a wreck.
I have 4 children, their spouses and 15 grandchildren...I try to remember my brother, his son and daughter and their children, my sister, her hubby and their 4 children and their 2 grandchildren - the shipping alone is expensive.
I need another plan or something...but when I think about it...I wind up being my own worse enemy!
I've tried to talk to my family...and they buy us things anyway...making me feel just terrible...so what do I do?
It's making me sad just writing this - but I know that this year I need to do more adjusting and don't know how or where to start. Even with 15 grandchildren (who all but 2 live in another state) if I spend $10 - that's 150.00.....add to that the postage.
Does anyone have a nice email or letter that could be used to explain things to my family? I would like to explain to them why this year it may be different, ahead of time. I love Christmas so much...but this is all making me so sad. And it makes me even sadder when they do and buy things for us - I would so rather have their calls and cards during the year.
Thanks for listening.... Barb

I would tell them just what you have said here. I know that my Mom appreciates our phone calls and just the times we drop by to spend time with her. I would much rather save the money on a yearly gift and have someone I care about call me and give me ten minutes of there time a few times a year. The gifts and the spending are truly out of control and most people have lost what the purpose is to Christmas.

 

[MsStinkerBelle]

plan your WDW trip at Christmas and then you would not have to worry about it

That's what we've done the past two years and it's worked out great!

I only buy gifts for the kids. Everyone else gets handmade gifts (handcrafted soaps, candles, photo gifts) that don't cost a lot. It's the sentiment that counts for us.