No candles for teachers? Why? And does this count

[auralia]

I have seen many people say candles are no nos for teachers. I make these

http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_fullxfull.273878040.jpg

This isn't my photo but this is exactly what I make (I make jewelry too but silver rings are quite expensive now).

I had planned on giving dd's preschool teachers either one of these or a set of two (each cost me about 4$ but takes 3-5 hours to make depending. To purchase one is usually between 25-35 I personally don't sell them)

Are these ok as a gift to the teacher? It's either this or 10$ Starbucks gift cards. If it matters she has 2 teachers.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I think it is lovely.

I am not sure why some say no candles ..does it have to do with kids carrying them in to school or potential fires/matches with kids???

I think that whatever one chooses to give is thoughtful and considerate, especially in todays economy....I do not think a certain price point should even come into play...but thats just me...

enjoy the holiday season!

 

[Colleen27]

I think the "no candles" advice generally comes from the same place as the "no mugs" advice - it is just such an easy, obvious gift for someone you don't know well enough to select something more personal that I'd imagine teachers get a lot of them and they become clutter over time.

My SIL got dollar-store/drugstore quality scented candle sets from parents every year when she was teaching and while she appreciated the thought she just didn't have any use for them. But in my mind something unique and handcrafted like the item you linked isn't in the same ballpark as the holiday candle giftset from Kmart, and would make a lovely gift.

 

[neatokimmo]

I wouldn't give a candle as a gift personally. You don't know their allergies. I loathe candles of all forms (even though that is pretty!). Bath & Body too.

Both get chucked into the goodwill bin every year.

 

[Marionnette]

It really is beautiful but it's still a candle. I don't know what their reasons are for making the "no candles" rule but you should respect it. You don't want to send the message to your child that they are special and above the rules. Give the teachers the gift card instead.

 

[spaceacewannabe]

That's beautiful! I would love to get something like that. Handmade gifts are totally different than a generic candle gift.

 

[luvmy3]

It really is beautiful but it's still a candle. I don't know what their reasons are for making the "no candles" rule but you should respect it. You don't want to send the message to your child that they are special and above the rules. Give the teachers the gift card instead.

The OP didn't say anything about a "no candle rule" made by the teachers. She has heard that giving candles to a teacher is a "don't" in general.

OP I agree with the pp who said that a personal handmade gift is not the same as a giving a store bought candle.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

It really is beautiful but it's still a candle. I don't know what their reasons are for making the "no candles" rule but you should respect it. You don't want to send the message to your child that they are special and above the rules. Give the teachers the gift card instead.

I don't think there is an actual rule against candles, just advice people give out about what does and does not make a good gift for teachers.

OP--I think your item is quite different. That does not fall into the same category as one more apple-cinnamon scented candle from Walgreens!

 

[kayrosek]

It really is beautiful but it's still a candle. I don't know what their reasons are for making the "no candles" rule but you should respect it. You don't want to send the message to your child that they are special and above the rules. Give the teachers the gift card instead.

I don't think the school has a rule against it. I think she's talking about how on here people are always saying don't give candles as a gift to teachers and as PP's have said I think that has more to do with generic candles not something handmade and thoughtful like this. Besides if I'm looking at it right it looks more like a candle holder if she put in unscented tea light candles she wouldn't have to worry as much about the allergies another PP mentioned.

 

[englishteacha]

I can say that I've received loads of candles over my 10 year teaching career. I love the thought and I appreciate any gift I'm given, but a) I'm severely allergic to most scents and b) unless we have a hurricane or blizzard that knocks out power, there's no way I can burn all the candles I've accumulated as gifts over the years. A homemade gift is different from the generic "I don't know you well but want to give you a present" candle gift. Yours appears to be more of a candle holder for a tea light, right? That's a lovely gift. I'm sure your child's teachers will like them. (and as for coffee mugs-at one point I had about 2 dozen teachery or Christmas decorated mugs that were gifts from students. I finally had to give many away because I ran out of space! And I teach older kids, so I don't get many presents from students...and elementary teacher would have a LOT more, I'm sure!)

 

[Fantastic4]

My thought on the candle thing is more the idea that smells are totally different for everyone. A candle that smells delish to one person might make another gag. Same with lotions etc.

 

[auralia]

It is a tea light holder. I usually use sented candles because they are colored so it looks prettier but I could use white or a battery operated one. There isn't a rule at school it's just what I've been reading here.

 

[clm10308]

I think it might be nice to include the battery opperated tea lights with your holders. The teacher could then use them in her classroom.

I was an elem teacher for several years. My husband used to joke about how people must think all teachers stink for all the scented lotions and soaps that I would get at Christmas.
I think it really is the thought that counts. What one person likes doesn't work for others. I would get Starbucks cards every year, but I don't drink coffee and rarely went to Starbucks, but I did enjoy being able to pass on the cards to my BFF that was on a tight income.( not re-gifting, just sharing).

 

[tlbwriter]

That's beautiful! I would love to get something like that. Handmade gifts are totally different than a generic candle gift.

But still, a candle is a candle. I wouldn't want this particular one, no matter who made it by hand. One should never assume others share their taste.

 

[cats mom]

But still, a candle is a candle. I wouldn't want this particular one, no matter who made it by hand. One should never assume others share their taste.

But couldn't the same be said for just about anything?

Going by that rule I guess everybody should just default to gift cards as the only acceptable gift... except you might choose the wrong GC, as in the Starbucks example above, not to mention that some people just aren't fans of GC's in general.

So I guess plan C is to just hand out cash, except then you get called out for not being thoughtful because you didn't take the time to choose a personal gift.

So sad when trying to give a gift becomes a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

 

[Marionnette]

It is a tea light holder. I usually use sented candles because they are colored so it looks prettier but I could use white or a battery operated one. There isn't a rule at school it's just what I've been reading here.

I totally misunderstood your OP. The candle holder is lovely and would make a very nice gift. I think that the battery operated tea light would be a good idea.

Teachers get a lot of gifts that don't fit their taste or preferences. Most are gracious enough to thank their students profusely and then find a new home for the unwanted items. Even gift cards can fit into the "unwanted" category if they are for a store that the teacher never shops at or if the amount is insufficient to purchase anything the teacher would want.

So go ahead and send in the candle holder and let the teacher repurpose it if it doesn't meet her needs. She will still get the message that you appreciate her.

 

[NotUrsula]

I have never yet met a teacher who didn't spend some of his or her money on classroom supplies every single year. What I usually give is a GC to an office supply store that also sells classroom materials, except for those that teach primary grades preschool, where I give GC's to an actual teacher-supply store.

IME, the thing that little kids' teachers most want is fun manipulatives for the classroom, because they get lost and/or worn out and the school budget doesn't often stretch to covering them. True,, it's not a personal "fun" mad money sort of gift, but I figure that something that lets them teach more they way that they want to without having to go OOP to do it is always a good thing.

For custodial staff, cafeteria ladies (if your kid goes to the kind of school where they are regular employees and very close to the kids) and helpers at daycares, my go-to option is a supermarket GC. Most of those folks are not very well-paid, and everyone needs groceries.

 

[tlbwriter]

But couldn't the same be said for just about anything?

Well, no. LOTS of gifts are not decorations.

Going by that rule I guess everybody should just default to gift cards as the only acceptable gift... except you might choose the wrong GC, as in the Starbucks example above, not to mention that some people just aren't fans of GC's in general.

I don't drink coffee and I still go to Starbucks, so I'm not sure why that would be considered a useless GC.

So I guess plan C is to just hand out cash, except then you get called out for not being thoughtful because you didn't take the time to choose a personal gift.

So sad when trying to give a gift becomes a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

Well, I think the rule is that you shouldn't buy decorative gifts for people if you don't know their decorative style. And any person you don't know well on a personal basis (such as a teacher or employee) who calls you thoughtless for "not picking out a personal gift" is a moron. And quite honestly, I haven't seen any of those people. Maybe you have. But I don't know any teachers who would say "I can't believe they gave me a GC and didn't bother to pick out something personal. How tacky."

But maybe I'm wrong. I know we have teachers here. When someone gives you a GC instead of a "personal gift," do you consider it thoughtless?

 

[cats mom]

Well, no. LOTS of gifts are not decorations.

You originally said:

One should never assume others share their taste.

To me that extends to just about everything, not just decorations.

I don't drink coffee and I still go to Starbucks, so I'm not sure why that would be considered a useless GC.

No one said a Starbucks GC is useless.

I used Starbucks as an example because a pp mentioned that she chose to give any Starbucks GC's she received to a friend since she doesn't frequent Starbucks.

Well, I think the rule is that you shouldn't buy decorative gifts for people if you don't know their decorative style. And any person you don't know well on a personal basis (such as a teacher or employee) who calls you thoughtless for "not picking out a personal gift" is a moron. And quite honestly, I haven't seen any of those people. Maybe you have. But I don't know any teachers who would say "I can't believe they gave me a GC and didn't bother to pick out something personal. How tacky."

But maybe I'm wrong. I know we have teachers here. When someone gives you a GC instead of a "personal gift," do you consider it thoughtless?

I did connect the lack of thought in picking out a personal gift with the idea of just handing out cash. I thought that made it pretty obvious I was being a bit flippant.

In general I do think gift cards are probably a safer bet when it comes to people you don't know well. But plastic Jungle exists for a reason, so it's certainly not foolproof.

And yes, I have overheard teachers complaining when they received gift cards to places they don't normally shop, eat, etc. Thankfully it was in the lounge out of earshot of kids, but still... it happens.

I have also seen teachers dump home baked goods in the trash can. I certainly don't think that's the norm, but yes... it happens too.

 

[scra]

I am a school librarian in a middle school. While any gift from a student is always appreciated, it does become difficult when the gifts given don't match one's personal taste, are something that one is allergic to, or as others have mentioned, are items that are well-intentioned but can easily become clutter (like mugs, pencil holders, live plants, lapel pins, etc.). I'm the librarian and so I don't receive as many year-end or holiday gifts as teachers do, and I still have six of the same librarian mouse pad. While I'm sure the students who chose them thought they were great, functional gifts (and while I am so appreciative of any recognition from students and parents), they sit unused in a desk drawer.

The best teacher gifts are gift cards - they are functional and always appreciated even if they aren't cards for places we specifically would shop. At my school, we will often trade them among ourselves so we get cards to the places we go most often (e.g. if I have a Starbucks gift card, I can trade with the English teacher for a Dunkin' Donuts gift card so we both have cards to the coffee shop of our choice).